Engel's Ensights

911 Reflections From NYC

2011-09-11T20:49:00.002-04:00

Ten years ago today, I was in Chesterfield, Missouri, a suburb of St. Louis. At my home, a 1700 sq. foot condo I'd gotten as soon as I got out of college, I got the news. The evening before, I'd gone to Best Buy with a good friend, Leah, and purchased a new home stereo. To test out this stereo, I also purchased Steve Earl's Essentials. The next morning, after checking my E mail and cleaning off all items of necessity from my desk, I went down to the living room, popped in the CD, grabbed my 12 string and started learning some new songs.

Somewhere in my impromptu jam session, the cordless phone rang. A female friend on the other line asked the question we've all come to associate with something tragic: Are you watching TV? I, like so many other people, had the initial impression that this plane into the World Trade Center wasn't that big of a deal. Probably a Cessna, I thought. Or, even if it was a jet, it can't be the end of the world, right? Wrong. I slowly walked downstairs, thinking there was no big reason to rush. I flipped on the TV just in time to hear Peter Jennings blurt out, "Good God!" Then, I knew something big was happening.

I returned the favor and called several friends to see if they were watching.All I remember is one who was not. I told her and I'll be fforever cemented in her memory as the one to break the news.

Ten years later, I'm now living in the city where the attacks happened. Sure, there was an attack on the Pentagon, and the plane went down in rural PA, but I think most of us associate the attacks off 911 with New York.

Here, what is the vibe? Honestly, I'm not sure it's that different than the rest of the country. We all were attacked that day, not just New York. Were the tears New Yorkers cried any worse than someone in Tulsa? Maybe due to proximity, but we all were rattled to our core...New Yorkers were just closer to that core. Here today, there was a memorial service on the lawn at Columbia. I did not attend. Nor did I watch any of the footage. For me, I don't need to sit down to try to relive the trauma and drama. I think about it every day. I think about the helplessness we all feel. I think about how we all wanted to hug our families tighter that night. I think about a few of my single friends who, without our families, all went out to a local bar to dampen the day and watch the President's address from the White House. That day is as set in my mind as my wedding day, the days Carson and Dasher both retired, the funerals of my grandparents and a good many others that have left scars on my soul.

I'll not close with something "usual" like "We'll always remember" because, ffrankly, we won't. Time will go on. A generation down the road, the taste won't be as ffresh. But I know as long as I livve and my mind works, 911 will be part of my day. It has to be because that's the day our lives....yours, mine and the world...changed forever.

Always A Beginner

2011-09-06T07:17:00.002-04:00

So, I just bought this used guitar off a dude on craigslist. This isn't the first guitar I've bought off CL and it's likely not to be the last, either. For guitar geeks, it's a black Ovation six string EA.

Now, here's the deal: I'm really not a very good guitar player. That's not just me being modest; guitar enthusiasts will tell you the same. I am, however, the guy you want to hang out with around a campfire. I can play rhythm on about every pop, rock, folk, country and R&B song ever recorded. But truly being a technical whiz like Joe Satriani or Kellor Williams or Stevve Vai? Nah, not me. I'm just a folkie playing for sing alongs.

So, while we're doing this year in NYC, I wanted to have a musical outlet. I figured as much as I'd be studying, I'd need a release time where I can banng out some Springsteen on an acoustic. Hopped on CL, found a guy selling a guitar and amp and they're both now resting comfortably by my couch.

Changing gears:Today is my first day of grad school. Around 3:30 today, I'll throw on a jacket, grab my laptop and backpack and be a college student again for the first time in nearly a dozen years. Kinda scared, kinda nervous, mostly excited.

Because the narrative med program I'm in at Columbia University is so intimate, we've been provided a doc with the bios and profiles of our fellow classmates. One really struck me. Nahh, not the person so much, but the last statement in his profile:

I see the importance of always being a beginner and am committed to always beginning."

When I first read this, my gut reaction was, "Well, duh! When you think of the grand scheme of life and what we can possibly know, we're all newbies."

Yet, this fellow classmate seems rather proud of being a novice. That's where I felt our opinions devviated.

Back to the guitar. I learned everything I know on guitar back in the late 90s. About once per year, I'll learn a new chord, but really, I play guitar much as I did when I had only a few months of guitar under my belt. Really, I'm still a beginner. I don't want to be; I'd love to be able to shred like Eddie Van Halen, but I've just not devoted the time, energy and patience it takes to do so.I'm still a beginner, but a beginner with enough experience to accomplish what I want.

So, when I started thinking about my classmate's statement, he/she has every right to bbe proud of being a beginner. We cannnot know everything. Life is simply too short. Even academics who devote their lives to a singular focus will readily admit they cannot know all there is to know about that area of study. Life is short and we barely have a chance to scratch the edge of the plane of knowledge.

But, we try! I think we all try to improve ourselvves, even if we remain beginners. Otherwise, you wouldn't be reading this, I wouldn't be writing it and we'd all be less than beginners. We'd just be uncaring and sedentary.

As I start this first day of the rest of my life, I'm committed to embrace the idea of being a beginner. Proudly. That makes me someone always on the cusp of learning and evolving into someone and something better.

Ease Up, New York? Not So Much

2011-09-03T11:24:00.002-04:00

When I was a print rreading fellow (i.e., back in the days before blindness), one of my favvorite reading spots was (gasp!) on the toilet. It must have bbeen someone else's fav spot, too, because somehow Reader's Digest magazines always found their way to the back of the toilet tank or the basket on the floor.

Back in the late 80s or early 90s, I was doing my bidness and flipping through that month's edition. There was a story about a campaign to get New Yorkers to become a kinder, gentler lot. II distinctly remember a black and white photo of a pudgey, middle aged taxi driver yelling and shaking his fist. Under the pic was the caption, "Come On, New York, Ease Up!"

Now, any sociologist and/or economist can tell you that NYC today is very different from NYC of the late 80s and early 90s. Like, somewhere in the early to mid-90s, crime rates just fell through the basement. There are a billion different theories on this that I won't discuss here, but suffice it to say that I've yeet to feel unsafe in our new town.

Furthermore, I have yet to meet with any of the attitude that's been pinned on the Big Apple. In the month (to the day, now) that I've been a New Yorker, I cann't think of a single instance of someone being what I'd term as "rude." No yelling at me/us crossing streets, no mutters under one's breath, etc. I just haven't noticed it...and definitely not the kind of 'tude shown in the photo so long ago.

Does this mean there aren't A-holes in New York? Duh, no! Those people exist everywhere. And thanks to the law of large numbers and this 8 million population, it's probably likely there are even more here. Yet, the kindness of New Yorkers, not the crudeness, is what we've noticed.

Two days ago, I was standing to cross the street onto Columbia's campus. As soon as the light changed, a gent to my side said, "Hey buddy, the light's in our favor." This doesn't mean I don't also use my senses to determine when the safe time to cross is, but I appreciated the gesture. Yesterday, I got a little turned around on a route. After crossing a street I wasn't sure of, I stopped the first set of footsteps passing me.

"Excuse me, can you tell me what street this is?"
"Morningside Drive. The park is directly in front of you."

Was that hard? No, but many simply don't believe New Yorkers can actually be ccourteous and kind. Life DOES move at a faster clip here, so bluntness may be interpreted as rude, or directness as shallow, but II just don't see it.

So, don't believve everything you hear about NYC. It's not the unsaffe place it once was, and the attitude has seemed to have been lost, too.

So, c'mon to NYC! Visit us, have a great time and see why we're falling in love wiith this town!

Why We're Here

2011-09-01T16:51:00.003-04:00

Most everyone knows by now that Marvelyne and I are living in New York. Most everyone knows it’s because I’m going to grad school. Some may even be able to state that my area of study is an M.S. in Narrative Medicine. But, over the last year or more, I don’t believe there have been more than a handful of folks who actually know what narrative medicine is. And frankly, a year ago, I was no different. So, here’s the skinny.

Narrative Medicine is a field which has only been around a few years. In fact, the term “narrative medicine” was coined less than a decade ago. To the best of my knowledge, Columbia University in NYC is the sole institution where one can study narrative medicine. Hence, our relocation to NYC for the 2011-12 school year. That’s the logistics, but again, what is it?

Narrative Medicine is a combination of health care, literature, communications, philosophy and a tad bit o’ social work. Interesting, right? But, what does NM do? Well, the goal with narrative med is to take these very complex stories of illness, healing, hospitalization, disease, disability and dying and turn them into something from which others can learn. Let’s take, for example, a story of a patient dying from cancer.

NM can be used by said patient to journal his/her thoughts and feelings as they’re going through the dying process, hopefully on their way to acceptance and peace. It can also be used by the caregivers who are treating the patient. After all, it’s a pretty callous health care pro that spends great amounts of time with a patient and does not get attached in some way.

Now, the tales of the process can be used by other cancer patients, cancer caregivers to understand the patient’s role, learn from the mistakes of other caregivers, etc. Again, NM tries to take these very personal, emotional and complicated stories and put them in narrative form for the comfort of those who are sick, with the added benefit of being an educational tool for the caregiver. Plus, there are many, many other applications I’m not even familiar with yet. But just wait - those times are coming!

Anyone who knows the speaking I do for health care can see the relationship between my work and narrative medicine. But the question still begs to be answered: “Okay Engel, this is interesting and fits you too a T. But, how’s it going to help the work you do?”

Well, for years, my main thrust has been keynote lectures. I’m hopeful for several different things to come out of this narrative med program.

First, books. With as much reading and writing as the program requires, I’m pretty sure there’ll be a few more Marcus titles in the not-so-distant future.

Polishing of my keynote: Through some of the oral communications of narrative med, I hope I can speak with an even more powerful and impacting style.

Third: More offerings to my clients. Now, instead of going too a hospital for a single 1 or 2 hour keynote, I can also teach the skills of narrative to all interested parties. I foresee myself giving my usual lecture on patient care in the a.m., then in the afternoon, meeting with a smaller group of front line caregivers and instructing them in some workshop form exercises about journaling and getting them to see the benefits of NM in their own field.

On Tuesday evening, the Narrative Med program held our orientation. There are approximately 25 students in the program, a little more than half were able to attend (thank you, Hurricane Irene, for at least helping most of us get there.) In my class there are physicians, playwrights, social workers, hospital chaplain, graphic artists, a nurse or two and several folks who’ve recently graduated, thinking they were going to med school, but needing to indulge their love of literature before entering the sterile world of health care.

After introducing ourselves around the room, we got into small groups with a few faculty members. From there, we discussed a poem with a health care slant, then used a prompt for a short writing process. Each person shared something from the prompt, “How did you get here?” We were allowed too interpret that however we saw fit. Most of us took on the task of answering the question about how we came to the field of narrative medicine, myself included. All of us, in some way or another, shared something rather personal… and this seems par for the course in NM. I look forward to these deep, meaningful types of writing instead of the fluff from undergrad English days.

What happens next? Well, next week starts the actual classes. As I get deeper into the program, I’ll share more. In the meantime, please enjoy more of Marvelyne’s musings about our NYC life at:

www.MisadventuresInNYC.com

Goodnight, Irene

2011-08-28T19:09:00.002-04:00

If you're along the eastern seaboard, you've likely been experiencing Hurricaine Irene in all her glory the last couple days. Me, too. Just as an update on the Engels, we left NYC on Friday after our flight was cancelled Thursday afternoon. Got home to Orlando Friday afternoon just in time to watch Irene reeking havoc on the east coast. Have kept an eye on her just to learn if we'd have a NYC home to return to on Monday. As of now, the damage seems minimal, but the shutdown of the NY MTA has things pretty jacked up. So, too, are the airports and airlines.

We're set to return to New York tomorrow morning...please keep your fingers crosssed for us. Officially, I don't have anything until Wednesday afternoon, but I'd prefer to be tucked back into our upper west side apartment well before my appointments.

And this is where being Zen comes in. And it's something I'm not good at. I'm a worrier, a fretter and just generally get all anxious when things are out of my control. So, I'm trying to breathe and be Zen with the full knowledge we have some wiggle room if the airlines are being silly and won't take uus home tomorrow. More updates wheen we return to the Big Apple!

Why I Think It's Sad Stevve Jobs Is Leaving Apple

2011-08-25T14:05:00.002-04:00

A little over two years ago, I got a life changing device. Now, the iPhone is commonplace, but then, it was the ffirst time I've ever bought technology in a store and NOT had to install accessible softwaare onto it. Plus, the iPhone gave me freedoms I'd not known before; a place to keep my books, movies, music, GPS apps, color identification, money identification, just a ton of things blind folks have a hard time living without. Maybe it's only symbolic, but I looked at Steve Jobs at having the fforesight to include accessibleity into all Apple products. For that, myself and the blind community are (or should be) ggrateful.

E Minor

2011-08-23T11:03:00.002-04:00

Just wwanted to publically wish my niece, Lauren, a happy 10th birthday!

My sister, Cathy, and her husband, Jim, met while in marching band together at Missouri State. Cathy's instrument was the melllophone, Jim's the sax, but he can play about every instrument known to man. As you'd expect, their kids all have more than average musical bones in their body, too.

For Lauren's 10th birthday, she received a six string Yamaha acoustic guitar. When I spoke to Cathy, she admitted she paid more for the new ax than she'd planned. To me, though, I think back to late 1999 when I, too, paid way more for a guitar than necessary. Well, maybe not more than necessary, it was just a really expensive guitar. Why did I drop the jack? Because an instrument is an investment in the person. I knew if I bought a ridiculously expensive instrument, I'd feel guilty if it sat in the corner, unplayed. And when I bought my Taylor 12 string, within months, I was doing things I'd only previously dreamed about on guitar. It was an investment in me...annd I'm sure Lauren's guitar will also be an investment in her.

One Man's Trash ...Is In My Living Room?

2011-08-22T18:11:00.002-04:00

So, if you've met Marvelyne, you're well aware she's got a designer's eye. Maybe this is from watching too much Nate Burkas...or maybe she was born with it. Whatever the reason, she knows how to make things look good. Including me.

But one of the things I love most about her is she can see the potential in the disposable. She can bargain shop and, for $10, come home and have a gorgeous, hand made "something" for our home. And, it's not just her doing this at discount stores, but sometimes in, believe it or not, dumpsters.

Today, we weere walking down 119th Street and she grabs my arm. "Oh my God! There's this gorgeous lamp someone has thrown out! Can I take it home?" Uh, I guess...though I do wonder how much we look like Fred Sanford while digging stufff out of the trash bin. Still, she carried this lamp home, cleaned it up and, wonder of all wonders, the thing actually works.

So, now sitting in our living room, is this gorgeous six foot tall lamp. I have no clue what lamps cost, but I'd guesstimate that this one new was at least a couple hundred bucks. And why do we get it for free? All because mE knows how to see the potential in the disposable.

Whether it's trash, treasure, poodles or people, we all have the ability to see the beautifful in the benign. I hope you can hone your senses to see the true beauty when, at first, it may just appear to be trash, too.

Sometimes, You've Just Gotta Call It A Day

2011-08-21T17:46:00.002-04:00

Last night, I was in bed by 10 p.m.

What? 10 o'clock? On a Saturday night? In the city that never slleeps? Sadly, yeah.

See, yesterday was kinda tough on your old pal, Marcus. Before yesterday, Garrett and I had one training session with an orientation and mobility instructor on campus. We've been trying to map out our classes, teach Garrett where these are, orientate me to get from point A to point B, just all the stuff I'll need to get to class independently when school starts on September 6.

With only one O&M session under my belt, plus it was pretty bloody hot, Garrett and I didn't do so well. At least, not in my opinion. We made a couple wrong turns, Garrett was adament he wanted to go down a path that led no where, stuff like that. I came home from our route exhausted, mentally and physically.

Then last night when I took Garrett out for park time, we got lost again. Yes, twice in one day. Does not make me happy. In fact, leaves me feeling kinda vulnerable. Can I honestly think I can get around by myself in NYC? Is Garrett up for this chhallenge? The answer, of course, is yes...but in moments of wandering around not knowing where I am, yeah, self doubt is plentiful.

Once I finally made it back to my building, I was late hitting the elevator button. We live on the fifth floor. Or maybe I hit the wrong button. Either way, we ended up on the 12th floor...and I have no idea how. It was stiffling in the elevator, so by the time we got back to our floor, I'm drenched in sweat.

When I got back in, Marvelyne could tell something was wrong. Instead of vomiting everything out, I just said, "I'm going to just go to bed. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day."

And, today HAS been a better day. Sometimes, when things are rough, the best thing to do isn't to press on, but just surrender, chalk it up to life not being perfect, go to bed and hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Up to Speed Part Deux

2011-08-20T09:50:00.002-04:00

Wow, can you tell I've not been blogging regularly? That last post somehow got to EE before I had a chance to complete it. NNonetheless, here we are again....

Last summer, after busting my tail during the spring semester, I underwent some surgery. I don't expect anyone to recall this, and I'm not sure how much I shared, but due to some major complications, I was hospitalized for the better part of a month.

After working myself to the bone AND the potential of dying during that recovery, I knew I had to make some changes. So, I started looking to keep doing what I'm doing, but in a way where I could work less, make more money and not let life pass me by while I was workingg; though "working" is a bit of a misnnomer b/c I love what I do. I just don't always love the headaches involved with travel.

I've always wanted to continue my education. Having an M.S. behind my name can't hurt anything, I love to learn and, maybe just maybe, increasing my education might bring about the life changes I've bbeen desiring. But, what can I do to behoove what I'm already doing?

I looked into a master's of public health, but it doesn't really fit what I do and want to do. Too much focus on social health issues, quantification of illness patterns, epidemiology, etc. So, as I always do when I need an answer to a question, I turned to some experts.

First person who's opinion I sought was Dr. Norma Hannigan at Columbia University in NYC in the School of Nursing. Norma is one of my clients, friends and I figured she might havve a lead for me. I was right!

When I explained I wanted to continue to do what I'm already doing, possibly with an incorporation of writing like an MFA, Norma asked if I'd considered narrative medicine. Considered it? I've never even heard of it.

Well, as I soon discovered, narrative medicine is a combination of health care, literature, social work, philosophy and communications. Columbia University in the City of New York is, I believe, the only program of it's kind. When I explored it further and really got into researching this idea of narrative med, well, it seemed custom made for me.

Thus, I applied and was accepted. Right now, I'm sitting in our 500 square foot apartment just steps from campus. In two weeks, narrative med classes will commence and I'll be engulfed in grad work...a student again for the first time in a decade.

More info to come soon on this current stage in Marcus' life and education!

Up To Speed

2011-08-20T09:38:00.000-04:00

Zappening

2011-08-19T08:00:00.002-04:00

So, what's been zappening since, oh, January or so? Wow, that's a big answer. First, let's take care of a little housekeeping. Here's a quick list of all the places I remember speaking since the winter:

University of North Florida
Shenendoah University
Team Spirit Reunion
Focus on Success, Pierre, SD
Amarillo College
University of New England
University of Nebbraska, Omaha
Coral Springs Charter, FL
Texas HOSA
Nevada HOSA
University of Hawaii-Manoa
Ball State University
Illinois State University
Georgia CIT
ABHES Convention, New Orleans, LA
AHEAD Conf., Seattle, WA
Overbrook Hospital, Bellevue, WA
BJC Health Systems, St. Louis, MO
Jackson Memorial, Miami, FL
Scripts Mercy Health Systems, San Diego, CA
Lancaster General Health, Lancaster, PA
National Nursing and Staff Development Org convention, Chicago, IL
University Hospital, Cleveland, OH

Plus, "The Drop" has continued to play at film festivals like the New Media Film Fest, The Feel Good Film Festival and soon to play at the central Florida Film Fest. We've tried to make each festival for panel discussions andd, as always, hoping there's someone there who shares our vision of a full length feature film for "The Drop."

So, there's the last eight months in a nutshell. If I can find photos of events, I'll soon post them to EE. With this schedule, can you see why I've been a blogging slacker? Thought so!

Where's The Muse Been?

2011-08-18T20:55:00.002-04:00

Yeah, I've been asking myself that question for the better part of a year. Where's the muse? Why haven't I been blogging? Is the muse mad at me? Am I uninspired? I don't necessarily feel uninspired, but just due to the craziness of life, blogging has gone by the wayside.

Except that tonight? I got a little inspiration and food on how to feed the muse. One of my fav podcasts is Radio Lab which you can check out at:

www.RadioLab.org

The episode I listened to tonight was about inspiring oneself, or in some cases, holding one's creativity up for ransome. A famous physician even told of swearing he'd commit suicide if he didn't finish his book in 10 days. Don't worry, I'm not THAT committed to blogging again!

Elizabeth Gilbert, the famed author of "Eat, Pray, Love" told the tale of how the book got it's name. She said she'd completed writing and still couldn't come up with a title. So, she sent out an E mail to friends basically cursing her manuscript for not sharing it's title. A friend wrote back with a response like, "Liz, it'll never tell you if you talk to it so mean." So, she changed her tune. Not unlike praying, she physically spoke to the manuscript and asked it to tell her it's title. Next day? Eat, Pray, Love was a reality.

Tomorrow, I'll share what's been going on the last, oh, eight or nine months. That is, I'm going to kindly ask the muse to help me become a more consistent blogger. We'll see if this works.

It's More Than A Game

2011-01-24T14:49:00.000-05:00

East-West Shrine Game is about much more than football
UCF's Bruce Miller: "There's a bigger meaning."
January 20, 2011|By Mike Bianchi, SPORTS COMMENTARY
•
Stephen M. Dowell, Orlando Sentinel
Never even thought about it as anything except a college football all-star game that has been played every year seemingly since the beginning of time.
In the mind's eye, the East-West Shrine Game was always that star-studded, post-holiday classic played in some exotic, faraway locale sponsored by a bunch of men wearing funny hats.
But with the game being played at the Citrus Bowl on Saturday, we should all recognize that those Shriners are more about good deeds than funny fezzes. And the East-West Shrine Game is much more than a chance for college football stars to improve their NFL draft status; it's a chance for them to improve the life status of a bunch of sick kids.
"Strong legs run so that weak legs can walk," says George Mitchell, the Imperial Potentate (head honcho) of Shriners International. "Everything we do is geared toward helping the Shriners Hospital for Children."
If ever there were a sporting event for our city to get behind, this is the one. Is there really a better cause than a network of 22 hospitals that offer quality care for kids who are burn victims or have suffered spinal cord injuries or are born with birth defects? These are hospitals that serve thousands of kids worldwide whether their families are able to pay or not.
Kids like 13-year-old Danny Happy, who four years ago had his life altered forever. On July 10, 2007, a private plane shockingly fell from the sky and landed in Danny's home in Sanford. His 4-year-old sister Gabriela died and Danny was burned over 95 percent of his body. Nobody expected him to survive.
He was airlifted to the burn unit at the Shriners Hospital in Cincinnati, where he was put into a medically induced coma so that he wouldn't die from the excruciating pain he was in. Nearly 50 surgeries later, he is a living, breathing testament to the medical miracles that are done by the Shriners.
There will be players in Saturday's game from UCF (defensive end Bruce Miller and offensive tackle Jah Reid), Florida (defensive end Justin Trattou) and Miami (cornerback Demarcus Van Dyke and running back Graig Cooper). If you're a Knight, a Gator or a Hurricane, why not come out to the Citrus Bowl Saturday and support your team? If you're a college football fan, why not come out and watch some of the best players in the nation? Or if you just want to watch a good game and support a good cause, kickoff is 4 p.m.
Too often in these pages, we portray college football as a corrupt sport filled with liars, cheaters and BCS commissioners who have cornered the market on greed. We get inundated with the clanging and clamoring of message board malcontents, bad-tempered bloggers and FireTheCoach.com websites. So seldom do we get to hear the true song of the sport anymore.
Like the sound of Larry Csonka, the Miami Dolphins Hall of Famer who played in the East-West Shrine Game decades ago. He was on TV the other day talking about the game and said something that might surprise you. He said he didn't remember much about the Shrine Game he played in all those years ago. He didn't remember the score or even who won. But what he did remember was the trip he and other players took to the Shriners Hospital.
It's the same story every player who plays in this game will tell you. Every year during Shrine Game week, the players are asked to visit one of the nearby Shriners Hospitals. On Sunday, the players in this year's game were bused over to Tampa to visit the kids.
"There's a bigger meaning to this game," says UCF"s Bruce Miller. "It means a lot more when you're playing for something like this. We're not just out there for ourselves to raise our NFL stock; we're out there raising money for kids who are fighting and battling and struggling with some serious medical issues.
"Visiting these kids in the hospital is one of the most worthwhile things I've ever done. It's great to put a smile on these kids' faces. And you know what? They'll put a smile on your face, too."
If you think Shriners are merely a bunch a crazy guys who wear funny hats and ride miniature motorcycles in parades, think again.
Turns out the men underneath those funny fezzes do some serious good.
Those undersized motorcycles pale in comparison to their oversized hearts.

About the Shrine Game
What: East-West Shrine Game
When: Saturday
Where: Citrus Bowl
Kickoff: 4 p.m.
Tickets: $5-$50, available on ticketmaster.com

FaceBook Fan Page

2011-01-20T18:37:00.001-05:00

I really, REALLY hate to have a fan page on Facebook. To me, it feels kinda schmaltzy; like, I’m limited to the number of friends, but fans? Hey, they’re just numbers. Well, I don’t think of any of my connections as just a number. Rather, I think of pretty much everyone I’ve ever met as a friend.
Yet, Facebook makes the rules. And the rules say no more than 5000 friends on a single page, unless it’s a fan page. So, I created one.
If you’re so inclined, please go to my fan page at:

www.FaceBook.com/MarcusEngelSpeaker

I’d love to be able to transfer all my connections over to this fan page and communicate just as actively with it. Until then, thanks to ALL my friends, fans and connections!

The Man Ain't Got No Culture

2011-01-16T11:15:00.002-05:00

The title is from one of my fav Simon & Garfunkel songs, but the whole idea of culture has been on my mind of late.

I just finished reading Eric Weiner's "The Geography Of Bliss." Weiner, a self proclaimed grump, searches out the happiest and most unhappy places on earth. The most disturbing part of the book was the trip to some eastern block region that starts with an M. I don't remember the name of the country and hope not to ever encounter it again, much less travel there. It's wedged in between Russia and Romania, but doesn't really fit in with either country.

Throughout Weiner's travels through the M country, he consistently ran into this feeling of discontent. Nah, that's too easy. A feeling of anger underlying impotence and despair. For example, an elderly woman gets on the public bus, only to realize she's on the wrong line. As she tries to sort it out with the driver, the other passengers start hurling insults at her, screaming at her for an innocent mistake. Another story came from a meal the author had with a native. At the lunch, the waitress spoke in Russian, the patron spoke in Romanian and each understood the other perfectly. This isn't as much of a nice, tolerent bi-lingual society as you'd imagine. Instead, the two are so stubborn to their ways that, even though they know how to speak the other's language, they simply refuse. An undercurrent of arrogance seems to be present, too.

As Weiner was leaving the country, he came to the realization that unhappiness is so ingrained into this culture that happiness cannot have a chance to survive. If everyone acts in a nearly identical manner, it shows that that is the culture. The herd mentality, if you will.

Bring this into our lives. Okay, my life since it's my blog. I've worked for institutions where the culture is, well, not open and accepting. In these organizations, I've seen the culprit as the trickle down effect. He/she at the top of the organization creates a culture around him/herself of superiority. There's a lack of openness that makes the head honcho seem aloof and unapproachable. That mentality seems to seep into lower ranking positions and then down to the folks the org is supposed to serve.

Now, let's take the alternative of that culture. I don't mind sharing that this happend at Gardner-Webb University in Boiling Springs, NC. In October, I worked with GWU students for the second time. Every time I've been to the university, I've been met with friendliness, acceptance and openness. Is it just southern hospitality? Nah, it's in the culture of the school. The university president helps set the culture.

As I was having dinner with some student athletes in the cafeteria, the university president was just finishing his meal. In the cafeteria. Sitting with students. As he was leaving, he stopped by our table to shake my hand and welcome me to campus. He also thanked me for being there and just showed so much grace. THAT is the culture of happiness and openess. Compare that with university systems where students don't even know the name of the university president. Can GWU students approach the head honcho if they have a problem? You betcha! Can students at other schools do this? Only if the culture is set where the student feels able to do so.

What kind of cultures do you interact with? Do you enjoy those cultures? Or do you, involuntarily, help perpetuate what that culture has for it's bad points? We all have the ability to make a difference in the culture of our organizations...do something positive to help yours.

Negative Nellie In The New Year?

2011-01-01T10:50:00.002-05:00

I'm ususally not known for being a negative person. Duh. I make my living showing folks how to find the good in all situations, right?

Well, I'm having a little trouble justifying and figuring out how I feel about the end of 2010 and the start of 2011. In 2010, we dealt with severe economic difficulties, we lost two family members, and (no exaggeration here), I almost died due to medical complications post surgery. All these things combined make me pretty excited to wish a bon voyage to 2010.

Now, my dilemma comes in like this: should I be happy about putting 2010 behind me? Or should I be happy to implement the things I learned for 2011? Both? Neither?

Let's look at some positive things that happened in 2010 to neutralize the negative: I received Garrett, my 2 year old yellow lab Seeing Eye dog, I made plenty of new friends, I published a new book, received the Patient of Courage award from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons and still got to wake up every morning with my best friend.

I guess when you break it down, the best we can do is take everything in, both good AND bad things, and do our best to progress and learn from our experiences. And that's exactly what I plan to do in 2011. Happy New Year, friends!

The EE Mission

2010-12-31T15:35:00.003-05:00

I've been reading, "Roadside Crosses" by Jeffrey Deaver. In typical Deaver fashion, it's given a good education, as well as a good mystery.

In "Crosses", a body language expert is attempting to solve a mystery where roadside crosses are left at sites BEFORE a death. Therefore, the accidents aren't accidents. Yet, there's so much more to the story, including cyber bullying, blogs and flaming wars.

One element of the story is a blog that is at the tipping point of getting international acclaim. While the body language expert interviews the blogger, she sees how important the noteriety is to him. One of her detectives has also given her a lesson in the psychology of bloggers; that many are ego driven wannabe journalists who want to be respected for their opinions and viewpoints.

First off, EVERYONE wants their opinion and viewpoint respected. I may have to beg to differ a bit with the idea of bloggers as wannabe journalists. Still, I see that point.

One other thing that, unbeknownst to this blogger, is that bloggers want other blogs to link to theirs, thereby boosting their legitimacy. Fair enough. It's a popularity contest, not that unlike having loads of friends on Facebook.

For this blogger of the last five years, if I were to fall into the mold of other bloggers, I should probably make more ado about Engel's Ensights. Yet? I've not taken great pains to promote it. My thoughts? If people like my point of view and writing style, they'll seek it out. I don't want to be known as a big time blogger as much as a big time speaker and author. And author of books, not blogs.

I guess that goes back to the mission statement of this blog: it's an extension of my monthly newsletter, also known as Engel's Ensights. And the point of that? To provide a motivational story or insights that help readers find hope and goodness in their own lives. Hopefully, those small realizations will help to improve the lives of those reading my schtuff.

Bonds Don't Have Anything To Do With Jail

2010-12-27T18:53:00.002-05:00

From as early as I can remember, my aunt and uncle gave we kids savings bonds for Christmas. I was well into my teens before I got the concept that they'd paid about half the face value for these things. Then, if I held onto them for several years, they'd be worth the face value. And, if I continued to sit on them for a few years, they'd be worth even more.

Then, when I was 16, as was their tradition, my grandparents gave me a certificate of deposit. Every month, I'd get a statement through the mail showing that my CD had increased a little bit. My parents also got these, but they got something I didn't: these slick glossy magazine-like things from companies about share holdings and stocks. I didn't really know what they were, but I knew it had to do with money they'd invested.

Yesterday, I was sitting around with one of my buddies who is in his mid-40s. The subject of retirement came up and, while neither of us is ready to get the proverbial gold watch, we both know a person can't necessarily work forever. Therefore, a person should save for the future when they can't work. While I've set aside money in investments for my retirement and future, my friend has not.

"When I was growing up, all my folks told me was, 'Don't get arrested.' I've never learned anything about what I should be doing for my future or rainy days."

To me, my idea of bonds was the future. To him, bonds were what you got if you got in trouble with the law. My friend is a law abiding citizen, but with such a meager bit of advice, it's a wonder he hasn't ended up behind bars.

I am very, very lucky to have had such quality adult advisement from an early age. My friend? Not to say his family didn't love him, but the day to day survival was all that was on their radar.

Are parents to blame if a kid goes broke? Not by a long shot, but those of us who got good advisement from a young age are a lot more likely to end up sitting pretty down the line. I'm also very blessed to have had people who gave me a little money to see how it's done.

It just showed me a world I didn't grow up in. It's a world I want to be more compassionate towards, too. And it shows me what I want to instill in the minds of my stepkids, too.

What about you? Were you lucky like me? Or was your youthful advice just to stay out of trouble? In my world, the idea of breaking the law was so foreign that it never probably crossed my parents' minds to warn me about arrest...but instead, to show me how to live an upstanding, proper life which would result in security for the future. I am very, very lucky...and when I hear tales from "the other side", it makes me want to share what knowledge I have with others.

Garrett Is Mine

2010-12-21T08:38:00.002-05:00

One of my Facebook friends is also a guide dog user, though from a different guide dog school. I'm not even sure which one, but, according to her status this morning, I know it's not the Seeing Eye. In her status, she was ecstatic about how the paperwork for her dog has finally come through and her dog now is officially hers. I don't know all the specifics of this school's process, but she's now had her dog for two years.

As you can imagine, she's excited and that shows through. I'm excited for her, too. So, I looked through her comments and saw that another one of her friends left a derogatory message about the difference in guide dog schools. Some people get all up in arms about their school; reflecting back to the days of gang wars over turf and colors. Me? I'm very much of the mindset: do whatever works best for you.

Having said that, I thought the summation of this friend's comment was a little slanted. So, now I respond and give some info:

One reason I love The Seeing Eye is because, as soon as I get on the plane to come home, my dog is officially mine. Many schools have a partial ownership between the school and the dog handler. Then, if anything goes wrong during that partial ownership time, the school can replace the dog with another, retire the dog, provide additional training, etc. Where the Seeing Eye differs is that if there's any question of retirement or replacement, that choice is up to me, the handler. I mean that choice is solely up to me. The Seeing Eye always stands at the ready to offer guidance, assistance, advice, additional training and eval, but the final choice is up to me.

I personally consider this a huge sign of respect to Seeing Eye graduates. However, as the friend of a friend's comment stated, he/she considers this being thrown to the wolves. In the 15 plus years of handling a Seeing Eye dog, I have never once felt like I didn't have all the power of the Seeing Eye in support of me and my choices. They are simply a phone call away. If I need, a trainer will jump on a plane to come to my home and work with me. If I need advice on a troubling situation, they're there at the end of the 800 number. The friend of a friend's comment made it sound as though The Eye says, "See ya in 10 years" and never follows up with the handler. Not true, not true.

To have that support and those resources gives me some peace of mind like I can't describe. Never, ever do I feel alone in working with my dog. Garrett is officially mine, but that ownership is tied closely with as much or as little support as I choose. And what I choose will, of course, be up to me and me alone. This kind of respect for individuality is what will keep me coming back to the Seeing Eye as long as I'm able.

Christmas Chairity...Incognito!

2010-12-18T16:37:00.002-05:00

This is one of my fav times of year, mainly because we get to see the public at it's best. Now, if you've just come from the busiest shopping day of the year and mile long lines at Wally World, you may not have witnessed the best of folks. But, just look through some of the headlines and you may find a different story.

Lately, I've been skimming articles about something that makes me very, very happy: chairitable giving. Anonymous chairitable giving. Mainly in the form of donations into Salvation Army bell ringer buckets. Every year, the Salvation Army finds a great deal of gold coins, luxury watches, wads of bills, etc. I just find this cool! The donor isn't looking for accolades, but just wants to give for the sake of giving. They're not getting the tax write off, they're not getting congrats and compliments, really nothing more than the "God bless you" of the bell ringer.

The best kind of chairity is anonymous. Then, no one can second guess motivations of the donor. At this time of year, what can you do, strictly for the joy of giving? Anything you can drop in the bucket that's more than your spare change? Whatever you do, your true desire to give should be noted...by you and only you.

Bringing The G Dog Hoe

2010-12-16T15:55:00.002-05:00

Well, now that we've been home to Orlando for over 24 hours, I think I can safely say Garrett is settling in well. Let us return to the thrilling days of, well, yesterday morning, to a far away place called Newark Airport. Joy, one of the trainers for our Seeing Eye class, gave us a lift to the airport. All the way, Garrett had his big, yellow lab head laying in my lap; an action Joy called, "mushy." Pretty appropo.

At Newark, we were on a completely full flight. Never ideal. Still, Garrett curled up at my feet and seemed to take the flight quite well. Only when we were on approach to Orlando did he get up and look around. Even that seemed more like curiousity than discomfort. On the ground in Orlado, he walked off the plane like he owned it and, there at the top of the ramp was Marvelyne (and man, it was good to hug her for the first time in three weeks.)

To keep from getting Garrett any more stressed out than necessary, we went sighted guide through MCO. Garrett on leash in my left hand, my right on the small of Marvelyne's back.

Once home, we went to some neutral territory out on the sidewalk to intro Garrett to my stepdaughter's dog. Smooches is a little schnauzerpoo and wasn't quite sure what to think of Garrett. Still, no aggression or feather ruffling on either of ther parts. After park time, Garrett got to sniff his way around the house. He seems to find the front door quite interesting. Not sure if it's the cut glass, the view into the front yard, just where he entered the house OR b/c it's where his harness hangs.
After sniffing around the house and relaxing for a bit, we went to one of our fav local restaurants. Apparently, Garrett likes Mexican crumbs. He really did fine, but laying down onto a floor where folks have been dropping their crumbs is, in a word, heaven (for Garrett, not me.)

This afternoon, we took about a mile long walk around our neighborhood. I want to be sure Garrett isn't being challenged here at first, but can do routes that build his confidence in his work and with me at the other end of the harness handle. This seems like a perfect route to accomplish just that.

Now that we're home, I'll still give some frequent updates on Garrett. Yet, the focus of Engel's Ensights will return to what it was prior to dog training; thought provoking inspirational and motivational tidbits from the life of yours truly.

NYC and Beyond!

2010-12-14T08:07:00.002-05:00

The last couple days have been really busy, as evidenced by the fact I haven't blogged in a while. Here's a quick re-cap...

Mall work: A mall food court probably offers the most distraction for a Seeing Eye dog than anywhere else. A close second might be Petsmart. Anywho, we went to the food court to grab lunch and work the dogs through it to see how easily they'd distract on food debris. Just think of all the crap on the floor in the food court and, well, you get the picture.

As with most everything, Garrett did really well NOT distracting on the tasty morsels. He eyed a piece of chicken at one point, but didn't lunge for it. A good walk around the food court gave a lot of confidence for more realistic situations. I can't think the last time I actually ate in a mall food court (probably a airport mall somewhere), but knowing G-Dog won't be sniffing on leftover French fries while we walk along is a great thing.

Yesterday was kinda the capstone of Seeing Eye dog training: New York, New York. With some potential plans of relocating, this was especially helpful. Thanks to a major back up on the George Washington bridge, our training time in the city was reduced. Still, Garrett got to experience the Port Authority, the subways and a good walk up 8th Avenue. With holiday shoppers everywhere, NYC was a little more challenging than I anticipated. Yet again, Garrett took it like a champ!

A handful of classmates who live within a drive left today. Brings our group down to a total of about 14 souls. Most of the rest of us leave tomorrow, but a few are still here until Thursday. When I had my exit interview with Seeing Eye president, Jim Kutsch, the first question was: do you feel confident enough to return home? I like this. After all, our whole goal is to learn to handle a Seeing Eye dog with competence and confidence. Garrett's attentiveness to NYC and pretty much everything else gives a lot of assuredness that home will be no problem.

And home awaits! It's been just under three weeks since I arrived at The Eye. From then until now? 180 degree turnaround. Garrett is a fantastic dog and I think our life together is going to be even more fantastic than I'm currently thinking. So, without further ado, I've taken my suitcases out of the closet for Garrett to sniff. Later today, we'll start packing those and be ready to get outta Dodge!

Wallers to Maddi!

2010-12-12T07:20:00.001-05:00

Today is my stepdaughter, Maddison's, 20th birthday. Just wanted to publically wish her a happy Bday! Love ya, Maddi!

Gettin' 'Er Done

2010-12-11T06:40:00.002-05:00

Well, the last few days haven't been exciting activities, but they're certainly necessary. The mundane daily life things like revolving doors, restaurants, hotels, supermarkets, etc. Feels like the old Larry the Cable Guy's phrase of "Get 'Er Done." It may not be glamorous, but it's part of life I need to accomplish.

Last evening, Garrett went on his first night route. We circled around the night life section of Morristown and Garrett did great! While the town was hoppin', due to the cold the sidewalks were practically bare. Even so, without an overabundance of obstacles, Garrett swung through tables, lightpoles, parking meters and around hedgerows to successfully show competence for night travel.

Night travel can present some interesting distractions for dogs, not the least of which is the simple fact it's harder to see. But, lighted storefront windows with mannequins, neon signs, etc. can be interesting and, in rare cases, frightening for a dog. Luckily, Garrett treats the night walk with the same caution as a regular daytime hike.

We also grabbed coffee at an organic and fair trade coffee house yesterday afternoon.As much of my life as is spent in restaurants, it was comforting to see Garrett lie down and (other than a little scrounging for crumbs) chill while we were having coffee. I think he'll be the kind of dog that can curl up under a table for hours and be happy.

Today, we'll do some "country work." This is simply a route where there are no sidewalks nor curbs. Since my neighborhood is still being built, there are large stretches of land where there are no sidewalks. Getting the G Man adept at country work is going to be key. I'll let ya know how it goes.

In A Living Painting

2010-12-09T21:44:00.002-05:00

Ever seen the work of M.C. Escher? If so, you'll probably recall the geographical scenes, the combination of real and imaginary, and you might just feel like you're on an acid trip.

One Escher work I recall shows a room of staircases ascending and descending in different ways. Probably dozens of these non-sensical stairs lead to the same place: no where.

Well, that painting was what today was like. We visited the Morris County, NJ courthouse to do some training. Officially, it was to help us learn to navigate metal detectors. In reality, it was such an exercise in dog trust.

See, the courthouse is probably 100 plus years old. And like so many old buildings, it's been built onto time and time again. Throughout the courthouse, there are short flights of stairs leading practically everywhere. Or no where.

Following Garrett through this puzzle was one of the most difficult tasks to date. Walking down a hallway, there'd suddenly appear a flight of six steps leading to a different level of the courthouse. Combine that with the tons and ttons of people in the courthouse awaiting hearings and it made for some tough travel.

Still, taking on this challenge and watching Garrett do so well at it was such a confidence booster. The only real correction he needed throughout was for sniffing at a woman in the elevator. That's it. We probably spent 30 minutes going through this maze and the only bad point was a little sniff? I consider that a pretty darned good exercise.

The Panel

2010-12-07T19:12:00.002-05:00

In addition to the Elm Street route today, I also sat on a panel discussion with two of my fellow students. The audience was comprised of orientation and mobility specialists in training. We were asked questions about working with a dog, the benefits and drawbacks, our experiences working out in the "real world" with our dogs, etc.

One thing I kept returning to was just how respectful the Seeing Eye is to we students/graduates. First, just in the treatment of each student as an individual. Second, in respect to our relationships with our dogs. Once we all leave training, our dogs are ours. Garrett is mine. Thus, when it's time for him to retire(hopefully a decade from now), it will be my choice where he'll go. I can keep him as a pet, I can give him to friends OR the Seeing Eye has a long list of those ready and willing to adopt retired dogs. To the best of my knowledge, The Seeing Eye is the only dog guide school in the country to give their students this choice and this level of respect. The others require the dog to be returned to the school where they'll be farmed out from there. I don't like this idea, so the Seeing Eye will always have my "business" and support.

Today was an especially Arctic day in Morristown. Real temp around freezing, but wind gusts as high as 25 mph. Still, we braved the elements and went out on route. Garrett had virtually no issues along the route and really seems to be a great worker. When he trots, I feel like he's really in the working zone and is doing his job well. Again, barricades that cross the sidewalk were present. In this case, Garrett has to walk me to the edge of the street, wait for his command to go into the street, then hug the street line until we're past the obstacle. Throw in the routine traffic checks, both planned and unplanned, and the planned and unplanned dog distractions and it can be a challenge. Yet, he did it with the grace I've come to expect from the G Man.

Tomorrow ends this route with another solo. After the morning solo session, we'll start free lance training, including airports, escalators, restaurants and, best of all, New York. I should have some great stories to share from NYC!

For 12 blocks, a Pee and a Sniff Aren't Bad

2010-12-06T15:53:00.002-05:00

Yep, just finished doing the Elm Street route for the second time today. Garrett apparently had to pee at one stop, but other than that and sniffing at a passing stranger, he was thumbs up all the way around. All in all, I'm still impressed as to what a serious worker he is.

Real temp this morning at 5:30 park time was 28 and it hasn't gotten much past that. Is it ironic that my warmest hoodie advertises Florida? Maybe, maybe.

I only caught about half of today's traffic lecture due to a conference call, but from what I heard in the last few minutes, I'll be studying up on the multitude of lectures on mp3 that the Eye gives us. Having every lecture, handout and coupon in mp3 format is one of the awesome things about the program here. Before, it was 12 cassette tapes. Before that? Nothing, just use your memory. Now, with a couple of minutes to transfer the info, I had a reference library at my fingertips...and will for years to come.

We'll continue to do the Elm Street route tomorrow, complete with traffic checks, dog distractions and barricades, all of which G handled like a champ once again. The traffic check today was in the toyota Prius, so it was silent until it was right up on us. Garrett did his traffic check move by stopping mid-stream and taking a quick step back. Proud of that boy for how he does with traffic!

More soon...

The Wag

2010-12-05T10:41:00.002-05:00

I know Garrett and I are still getting used to one another, but I've gotta say that his lack of tail wagging isn't something I'm used to. When he's playing or getting praise, he'll give wags, but in general, he seems pretty serious about his work.

While coming upstairs this morning after breakfast, I felt another dog's nose nudging the back of my leg...until I figured out it wasn't another dog, nor his nose, but Garrett wagging his tail while we ascended. It's the first time I've seen him wagging that tail while he's working. Hoping he begins to understand that we call guiding "work", but hopefully it's fun for the dog.

Since it's Sunday, it's a lazy day around here. No trips, no real hardcore training. Still, I want to get out and work Garrett, so we just hit the leisure path. Throughout the one third mile track, he kept his attention focused and appropriate. He also showed me back to the building with no hesitation whatsoever. All in all, a fine job once again!

The Solo

2010-12-04T16:18:00.002-05:00

While Saturday is usually a lazy day around the Eye, we did end up doing some training in the form of (insert scary music) the solo. Now, this isn't nearly as crazy as it might sound. We've been working this route for the last two days, and our dogs were familiar with it before we ever started working together. Still, there's a bit of trepidation before being cut loose to figure out everything on one's own.

And, as I'd expect, Garrett did it like a champ! In 10 blocks, he did one snag of turning up into a parking area, but I quickly figured out the mistake, retraced our steps and got back on track. This isn't to mention the 9.9 blocks he did like a well seasoned vet of guiding.

It's kinda hard to believe that a week ago, we were all just arriving into Morristown. And that the dogs have only been with us for five days. Major strides made in that short time.

This afternoon nothing was scheduled, but we did take a swing around the leisure path; a .3 mile track with gazebos and winding walkways and windchimes every so often. It's a great place to stretch the ol' legs or to give the dogs some extra practice.

So far, the area where Garrett has impressed me the most is with dog distractions. He seems uninterested in playing with dogs, sniffing other dogs, any interaction with other dogs. This is strictly while in harness. Back at the Eye, he's eyeing up his fellow doggy classmates with a look of play. His ability to keep a clear vision for the route is going to be really beneficial back home. I really plan on keeping his socialization and behavoir to other dogs on a positive note once we're badck in Orlando.

Yep, He's Officially A Lab

2010-12-03T06:16:00.002-05:00

So, if you know a lab, you know the powerful tail. I just finished a cup of coffee and Garrett whipped around, his tail hitting my coffee cup and sending it flying. Yep, he's officially a lab.

Afternoon walks went pretty well yesterday. Trainers will set up barracades with orange cones in the middle of the sidewalk. Garrett walked my knees into one and I stumbled a bit, but no injuries or anything. After correcting him and trying it again, he practically tiptoed through the barracade, showing he now gets it. One other little snag when we got too close to a pedestrian, but keep in mind he's a young dog, he's been mine less than four days and we're still getting used to one another. In a 10 plus block walk, I think having only two snags ain't too bad.

He's continually showing me more of his personality. My legs are the wickets and he's the croquet ball-this is about his favorite thing I've found so far. The tail is wagging more and he's eating and drinking fine.

Today is the same route and we'll solo it tomorrow. I'm quite sure with two practice sessions today, we'll be good to go. Plus, this morning is the lecture on a dog's senses. This is fascinating stuff; how a dog sees, their physiological make up compared to a human and how tyhat alters their perception of their environment. Perfect example is that dogs can't see incredibly well far out in front of them unless something is moving. But, their eyes are created to detect movement. Really interesting stuff like that. Will share more when I learn it.

Photo of Garrett

2010-12-02T20:00:00.000-05:00

The G Man Cometh

2010-12-02T06:34:00.003-05:00

Okay, little breakthroughs just keep coming! Garrett is doing a lot of little things to start to let his personality shine through. Before, he was sweet and docile, but he didn't react to much affection. Now, he's seeking it out. He'll use his paws and arms to bat my hands around, he'll roll over for belly rubs and that tail continues to keep wagging.

Yesterday afternoon, we started working on clicker training. This is a technique of opperent conditioning to get the dog to target to specific things; elevators, doors, etc. There's food involved and, Garrett being a lab, is one happy guy to work on clicker training. We're just ankle deep into it now, but I'll report more as we go along.

Today, it's bloody cold out. Bundling up now to go out to breakfast and then onto the training routes. More later...

Comin' Around

2010-12-01T11:39:00.002-05:00

Before I get into Garrett's progress, I have to wish my lovely bride, Marvelyne, a very happy birthday. Babe, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me and I love you.

In addition to having the freedom to miss my wife's birthday for Seeing Eye dog training, I'm also blessed today by some cool breakthroughs. Garrett is starting to show more of his personality and, thanks to a large hunk of cotton, I'm getting to see it.

See, it's a miserable day in Morrisstown. Think Seattle but colder and with more wind. We were able to go out and take the Maple Street route with corrections and, with all the wind and rain, Garrett only needed one, maybe two corrections. With a 20 plus mph wind blowing rain on us, this is pretty darned good. Byut, the personality thing...

When we went out to park time at 5:30 in the a.m., it was raining. Not as bad as when we were on route, but still coming down. When we got back up to the room, I pulled out the doggy dry off towel and Garrett came out of his shell! Turns out, he absolutely loves getting dryed off. Back, legs, head, neck, belly, chest, he starts wagging and playing like a pup. As I was bent over toweling him off, he also thinks that's time to pretend he's a croquet ball and go through the wickets, er, my legs. He's been wagging a good bit more and I'm sure that'll continue. When we were just sitting in a lecture, he was sitting between my legs and, just for a couple seconds, turned up to look at me and ask for some head pats. First time he's really shown any affection with his head. He tends not to look at me very much, but this will most likely change as the bond continues to grow.

This afternoon, all routes have been cancelled. Just too bad of weather where traffic is hard to judge and rain so thick it's hard for the dogs to see. But, if the day ended now? It'd be on an up note for some cool breakthroughs happening today.

Nothing Maniacal on Maple

2010-11-30T21:12:00.002-05:00

One of the routes we begin with in Seeing Eye dog training is the Maple Street route here in Morristown. This is a residential area which has been converted into offices, etc. Streets are quiet, traffic is minimal, sidewalks are obvious.

Expectations for the Maple Street route are low. After all, these dogs have only been with us a little more than 24 hours. Training this morning consisted of the route (about six blocks in total) with a trainer close at hand. Attached, actually. Because we're trying to develop bonds with our dog, the corrections have to come from the trainer. However, in the two different times I did the Maple route today, Garrett needed no corrections. Even if he DID need corrections, there's lots and lots of grace involved. He's just a newbie to working with me. However, not a single punitive word, not a leash correction-nothing. Will this be the same tomorrow? One day at a time, but if today is any indication, he'll fall into step nicely.

Plus, winter weather has arrived to Jersey. The second route was in the middle of a cold drizzle. Not exactly fun, and in inclement weather, we expect the dogs to make more mistakes. Surprisingly, though, other than a little extra sniffing of the air, Garrett didn't falter. This, as I'm well aware, could just be beginner's luck.

More tomorrow from the dog world! Thanks again to everyone for all the Facebook messages and support of this new working team!

Waggin' That Tail

2010-11-30T07:53:00.002-05:00

Park time is the term we use to refer to the dog, er, doin' his bidness. We take the dogs to the park area and recite "Park time, park time" over and over until the dog relieves him/herself. Instead of regaling you with tales of doggy duty, just know it's called park time.

After park time last night, Garrett turned into a bit of a different dog. Not good, not bad, just different. Earlier during our bonding time, he was always keeping his eyes on the door. He'd let me pet him, but didn't really want to play or wag his tail. But after park time last night? Play time was on!

Garrett started wagging his tail, using his paws like boxing gloves and, just in general, started being more sociable. This morning, he proved that he'll definitely be a morning person. He woke up and his tail was flopping against the amoir and was just begging to be petted. This seems a side of his personality coming out that I'm glad is coming through!

Off to Morristown routes...

The O.G.

2010-11-29T20:50:00.003-05:00

Heard one of my presentations? You may recall how, in my misspent youth, I was enamorede with gangsta rap. So much so that I thought I was an O.G. (That's original gangsta for you posers out there who don't know the lingo. Word.)

Well, now, the O.G. is my new dog. His name? Garrett. Yellow lab. Male. Very docile and sweet. Tomorrow, we'll find out how well his working behavior stacks up to his predecessors. But for now? Just know the O.G. is the original Garrett...one darned fine dog.

I've been requesting (and crossing my fingers) for a lab of some sort. With such great luck with my last two labs, it was a no brainer for me. And Garrett fits the bill!

When he was handed over to me today, we had a couple hours to come back to my room for bonding. He's still pretty attached to his trainer, but seems to be coming around. His crying was minimal, but he kept his eye on the door all the while we were getting to know each other, waiting for his trainer to return. This all tells me that once he's bonded with me, it'll be strong as what he's leaving behind.

Tomorrow will be some short routes of travel. Reports to come on how the O.G. handles the hoods of Morristown!

Thanks to everyone for welcoming Garret with all the Facebook posts, too. Makes me feel like he's coming into the Marcus community with a lotta love!

The Waiting Game

2010-11-29T13:17:00.002-05:00

This morning found me walking the neighborhoods of Morristown on the last Juno walk. After a lecture session from Seeing Eye president, Jim Kuch, we went to lunch. This is when the waiting game really begins. I think I speak for all students when I say it feels like Christmas Eve. Within the hour, I should have my Seeing Eye dog #3. Hardly seems possible I'm back here after Dasher and Carson. Lots of memories in this old building.

And so....I wait. And cross my fingers. And maybe pray. And wait some more.

Dog Days

2010-11-28T18:34:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I arrived in Morristown, NJ to begin training with my third Seeing Eye dog. Nervous? Yes. Apprehensive? Yes. Excited? Yes.

Over the next three weeks of training, I'm going to be writing about the training process. If you come to EE for tons of insights and motivation and stuff, well, hopefully you'll still draw something from these experiences. However, chronicling this journey is going to be my primary purpose. So, here goes...

For the next three weeks, I'll be training with 18 other students. Florida to Washington State, Maine to California-we're from all over. We're all re-trains, meaning we've all already had at least one Seeing Eye dog.

We settled in yesterday afternoon, but won't get to meet our new four legged guides until Monday afternoon. The first 48 is spent with trainers, evaluating walking speed, strength of correction, lifestyle, physical stature, etc. to make a good match. We've also now gone on two Juno walks; evals where a trainer plays as the Seeing Eye dog in order to get an idea of the preferred walking speed and pull. And no, there were no scratches behind the ear nor "accidents" on the street!

This afternoon, three dogs were passed around in my small group of four; myself, another speaker/author from Chicago, a tech expert from right here in Jersey and a policy analyst for the USDA from D.C. The dogs? A golden retriever/lab cross, a yellow lab and a German shepherd. Their personalities were high, medium and low. The cross was a total wild man, but kinda fun to have such an energettic pup to play with. Shepherd female was still plenty hyper, but the yellow lab epitomized the "Whatever..." personality.

We students will not know if one of these dogs is ours. We did not learn the dogs' names. We will not know anything other than the short time we had with these pups. The exercise was designed to evaluate our handling of each dog...these dogs may not even have gone through full training yet.

A few common questions:

How does the training work? After being weaned from their mothers, each dog is placed with a puppy raiser for around a year. The raiser teaches basic obedience, socializes the dog and does some minor evaluations of the dog's capacity to learn and adapt. After that year, the dog is around 18 months old and is returned to the Seeing Eye. A trainer then begins to work with each dog, starting out with routes around Morristown and progressing to more complicated streets and intersections, etc. to develop their skills. After four, sometimes five, months, the students arrive to begin training.

Can I pick what kind of dog I want? Not really. The Seeing Eye takes all requests seriously, but in the end, they reserve the right to place you with the best dog for you. Er, me.

Do I get to name the dog? Nope. Again, the dogs are trained before we arrive, and we have no real input into naming. However, at the beginning of the year, the first litter of pups all have names that begin with A. Then the next litter all have B names. Then C. On down through the alphabet.

This evening is the calm before the storm. It's good for us to all connect before we begin training with our dogs, so tonight is a wine and cheese reception for students. Social time!

Tomorrow? I'll probably blog before getting the new pup, and I'll definitely blog afterward to let everyone know my new companion. Until then...

Retiring Carson

2010-11-14T07:06:00.003-05:00

For those who might not have heard, my Seeing Eye dog, Carson, went into retirement on October 31. After 8 plus years of faithful service, Carson's working style had begun to suffer. When I ended up in the hospital for around a month back in May, it accelerated this decline.

One thing I truly value about the Seeing Eye, Inc., Carson's alma mater, is their stance on retirement. The Seeing Eye allows dog handlers to make the decision when to retire, how to retire and to whom the dog will go when he/she retires. This gave me the freedom to pick Carson's adoptive family. Could I have kept him as a pet? Yes, I have that option. Why is this not the best option for me? Simply because I'm not home enough to take care of a pet. So, we did the next best thing.

Back in September of 2002, right after I returned home with Carson from Morristown, NJ, I went to happy hour with my good friends, Jim and Alice. Jim and I have been buds ever since we were in middle school together, and right around the time Carson was coming into my life, I was getting to know his then girlfriend, Alice. Alice and I soon became good friends, too, and over drinks she asked, "How long will Carson work?" The easy answer is seven to nine years, simply because it's the average working life of a Seeing Eye dog. Alice did the math and said, "So, I'm calling dibs right now. When it's time for him to retire, we want him." I agreed, but with the knowledge that, over time, people change and promises aren't always kept. Not so with Jim and Alice.

For years, we've always joked about Carson's "Shady Pines" home when he retires. I've always given Jim and Alice the out that, if they don't want to take on a dog in his later years, there are no hard feelings. Again, not so. They have loved Carson from the moment he came into my life and have kept their promise.

On Oct. 31, I took off Carson' harness for the last time. It was in Jim and Alice's living room and Carson couldn't have been more excited. His new doggy buddy, Gutter, and Jim and Alice's two year old immediately were playing with him and he was in hog heaven.

It's impossible to explain to a dog that this is permanent. That harness isn't going back on. That leash and collar aren't going back on. When I walk out this door, this is your life; new owners, new environment, new adventures, but I'm no longer the consistent master he's known for the last eight years. He simply thought this was vacationy playtime.

As Marvelyne and I cried, I hugged him one last time and we walked out the door, leaving Carson to his new retired life. I'd like to answer some consistent questions:

Will I get to visit him? Yes. Every time we're in St. Louis, we see Jim and Alice. Many of those friendships are nurtured in their back yard. Carson now lives there and the next time we're in The Lou, I'm sure we'll be able to see him.

Will that be hard for him to adjust? I'm sure there's some adjustment, but Carson's got such a happy go lucky personality, I don't think it'll be too rough on him.

So, now that he's not working, what does he do? The same thing all pet dogs do; eats, plays, sleeps and gets lovin'.

Will you get another dog? Yes, I'm set to return to the Seeing Eye on November 27. I'll be in training for three weeks in New Jersey and then home with my new Seeing Eye dog.

Do you know what kind of dog you'll get? No. I've requested a lab or a lab mix, preferably a male, but the Seeing Eye reserves the right to place the dog handler with the best dog for him/her.

How am I doing? Really, I'm good. I miss Carson every day; just the little things show me his absence. When it's around 6:30, I'll start thinking it's time to feed Carson his dinner...only to realize Carson's dinner time is no longer set by me. I'll pick up something off the floor so Carson doesn't chew on it, only to realize he's not here to do any chewing. I purposefully took a month off between dogs to fully understand and realize these absences. I think it's been good for me.

And now? A quick vacation before going back to NJ. My stepson's 21st birthday. Thanksgiving. Then? I get on an airliner and head north for our next adventure! More to come...

Mid-Term Apathy

2010-10-24T10:24:00.002-04:00

I know I've told this story before in EE, but bear with me for a moment while I repeat it and turn it around to a new topic...

When I was a kid growing up, my great uncle was a big union guy. He was also a staunch member of his political party. One of the several bumper stickers on his Ford pick up was a blatant, direct and, to me, undeniably true statement:

If you don't vote, don't bitch.

I mean, so true! I even used to get hacked off in my 30s when a convo would turn political and I knew the fervor of the "contestants" was negated by the fact they didn't vote. Really? You'll get that heated over something for argument's sake, but you can't even get it together to get registered and go to the polling place? One question: Why should I put any stock in this person's opinion? I shouldn't. And frankly, I still feel this way.

We're in the craziness of the mid-term elections. Personally, I see more voting interest than at any other point in my 35 years on this planet. That's a good thing.

Just by happenstance, I was listening to an interview with George Carlin before his death a couple years back. Carlin has always been known for being outspoken on political issues, yet he also admits he didn't vote for the last 30 or so years of his life. To this I say...beg pardon?

Carlin's take was interesting, but, to be blunt, cowardly. His notion was that if he voted for a candidate, he didn't have the right to comment on that candidate. He felt he took on more of an objective commentary by NOT being involved with the political process. In essence, he held up a mirror to my great uncle's bumper sticker: If you're going to bitch, don't vote.

Interesting position? Yes. Completely wrong and backwards? Also yes.

Look, we're Americans. We have the right to elect our officials. Forget all the conspiracy nonsense-we get to put the people in power that we want. How many other places get to do that? Tain't too many, that's for sure. For this very privledge, I don't take voting lightly. Any time there's an election, mid-term or otherwise, I want to cast my vote. Not because I want to be able to bitch, but to do my part as an American. I hope you will, too.

...Until Daddy Takes The T-Bird Away

2010-09-25T18:06:00.003-04:00

Can you name the top three funnest things you've ever done? Now, forget the once in a lifetime things like your wedding day or when your child was born and that kinda stuff. But just pure joyful fun. Got your three? Here are mine:

On our honeymoon, Marvelyne and I spent an entire afternoon going round and round the lazy river. Probably stopped to have an adult beverage along the way, but just being together and enjoying the relaxation (and laziness) one of those things provides.

Next? New Smyrna Beach. My mother in law has a condo at NSB and there is simply no other time I feel more alive than going out into the Atlantic. It engages my four remaining senses in a way that nothing else does.

And finally? Kinda a toss up between blasting brass with shooting, walking through New York City and going to concerts of any kind.

Now, I can't recreate my honeymoon. No one can do that. But, right across town there are a multitude of hotels with lazy rivers. They may not be as common as swimming pools, but they certainly aren't scarce. And New Smyrna Beach? 45 minutes from my front door. Concerts, shooting? All that can be done right in my city. Safely and legally go without saying.

Here's the question:

Why don't I do these sorts of things more often? Is there a financial investment involved? Sure, but it's not out of reach. It's not like a night or two in NYC will mean I have to go on welfare. It's not like concert tickets will mean I have to start selling my blood. I'm fully aware that times are kinda tough and we're all needing to tighten our belts a bit...but what is life without some joy in it?

I know it's kinda early to start making resolutions, but one thing I want o start incorporating into my life is simple joys. Things that truly, truly bring me happiness and excitement.

What are you going to do? Continue to think joy is out of your reach? Or look at it rationally and understand we've all got one time to go around on this big blue marble. During this 70 or so year existence I have, I want to be sure I don't lay on my death bed wishing I'd gone to the beach a little more often.

DeSales University and Marcus: Half Decade Anniversary

2010-09-13T16:25:00.002-04:00

Again for 2010, I was honored to be a keynote presentor for DeSales University in Pennsylvania. Wonderful group of freshmen participating in the Character U. program, plus incredible clients with lots of laughs! What could be better?

Special thanks to Wendy Krisak, Dr. Gregg Amore and Chad Surface for being such good friends and great clients! Can’t wait to come back to DeSales for the sixth straight year!

One Classy Peach!

2010-09-05T10:12:00.002-04:00

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm a bit of a diva when it comes to clothing. I love to shop for clothes, I love it when my closet is busting at the seems (no pun intended) with new clothes and stuff I really love.

Having said that, I'm no fashionista (is that really a word?) I don't spend a ton of time learning the latest trends or flipping through fashion mags or the like. And I could not possibly care less about a designer's touch and taste.

Still, because I dig clothes, I don't throw a fit when I walk in on my wife watching Project Runway. I might even pay attention for, oh, about 60 seconds.

Last night, I caught a recent episode of the show. Well, actually, about five minutes, but who's counting?

It was just at the time when the true designers are "voting people off the island." One of the wannabe designers who was at risk of being voted off was a 50 year old woman named Peach. I don't know any of her background at all, much less in fashion. But, when the ax fell and everyone learned she wouldn't be returning the next episode, I kinda wanted to know more about Peach.

See, when she got the boot, there's the obligatory response. No matter what reality show you're watching, there are a variety of responses the kickee will have; anger, sadness, contempt, jealousy, etc. For Peach? It was all about the gratitude.

She stated again and again how participating in the show had been such a treat for her, how it was the highlight of her life and how much she'd miss all the other newbie designers. Never a word was uttered about how she thought it was unfair, or how wrong the judges were. Nothing like that. Just gratitude and appreciation for being given the chance to show her stuff and to fall in with a crowd of 20-something newbie designers.

Maybe that's maturity, maybe that's intelligence...or maybe that's just Peach.

Ever Been Ripped A New One?

2010-08-27T17:06:00.002-04:00

I have. Though, come to think of it, I don't know exactly what "one" is! Just today, in fact, did some ripping occur...

I'm a member of several different collegiate associations. I use these organizations to help me market my speaking services to the universities and colleges that most frequently request them. As an associate member in these orgs, I am allowed to send a limited number of unsolicited contacts to other members every year. I usually go by the 2, 2 and 2 rule: 2 calls, 2 E mails or 2 pieces of hard copy mail. How often? Spread out over two semesters.

So, today I was doing my marketing and working through a list of fraternity and sorority advisors. I try to make my personality come across in my E marketing pieces. One of the biggest compliments I've ever received is that my books and speaking services should carry an R rating. R for Real. I don't sugar coat things, I am totally myself and I'm real. Audiences are too savvy these days for any speaker to think they can get away with playing a character. Just be real. People respond to real people. And I'm one of them.

Anywho, in my E marketing piece, I posed the question: Would you like to work with a speaker who does't suck, isn't a diva and will leave your students with an unforgettable message?"

I received a response saying, "I don't want to work with a speaker who's sales pitch includes the phrase 'who doesn't suck.'" We're organizations of values and leadership. Please remove me from your mailing list.

I keep a running list of those who asked to be removed, and this person's name/address immediately went on it. I respect the privacy of those I mail. But, since I have a blog, and I'm still a little hot under the collar about his response, I'm going to vent. Here goes:

First, it's anyone's choice who they want to work with. I choose my business partners and everyone has that right. So does this guy. Still, here's what I don't think he gets:

Those of us who work in fraternity and sorority life have, for years, tried to dismantle the image set by "Animal House." We've spent a great deal of time basing our fraternal organizations around the motto and positive teachings of each organization. It's not just wild parties, drunken orgies and Belusi-ish antics. I believe that, I live that, I want others to know the qualities and values of these organizations.

But, here's the question...does using the word "suck" denote...well, anything? I have to imagine that every IFC and/or Pan Hellenic meeting this person advises uses that word at least once. And I' bet anything the members of the organizations involved do, too. And, I'd even go out on a limb to suggest that this gent, too, has some words in his vocabulary which others might find objectionable.

To me, my words show I'm real. That's how I talk. Both on the platform and off. And if someone doesn't like it? Well, that's their perogative. But to insinuate that to use the word "suck" somehow devalues the quality and value of fraternities and sororities? Brother, you're way, way off base.

At the end of the day, I took note of his concern. I disagree, but his point is noted. And his name and address are now on my "Do Not Mail" list. And I've deleted his little rant. I'll sleep fine tonight knowing I'm still me. I hope he will, too.

Is President Obama A Muslim?

2010-08-23T11:34:00.001-04:00

A few days ago I was talking with an idiot. I don’t use that term lightly, but in this case, it’s appropriate.

Last week, a study came out that said 20% of Americans don’t know what religion President Obama follows. A similar study was released that stated 1 in 5 Americans believe our President is a Muslim.

Here’s the thing: How do we know what anyone believes? Simply put, we cannot. We can watch one’s actions, listen to their words and statements, but we can never truly know what is in another person’s heart, can we?

Think of it this way…

If I tell you I’m a Christian, simply based on my statement, you have no reason to believe (or not believe) me, right? If I tell you I’m a Christian and you know I go to church twice per week, the case for my faith is bolstered. If I tell you I’m a Christian, you witness me going to church and I act in the way you believe Christians act, again, more fodder for my claim.

But, could I be lying? Could I be going into a church but not worshipping? Could I be faking my actions? Yes, yes and yes. You will have no idea what my true, heart held beliefs are.

So, back to the Obama/Muslim thing. The idiot and I were discussing these new surveys that came out. Having 20% of Americans believe our national leader is a different religion than he espouses is pretty significant. The idiot says, “Oh yeah, I guarantee he’s a Muslim. I just know he is…”

I stopped, gave him my (as my wife calls it) the famous Marcus “WTF?” look. I posed this question to him…

1. You believe our President gets down on his knees five times per day and prays to the east to give glory to the Muslim god, Allah?
2. You think our president believes the main tenant of Islam; that there is one God, Allah, and that Mohammad is his prophet?
3. You believe that President Obama’s membership in the United Church of Christ (remember old Reverend Wright?) is nothing more than a farce?

The idiot begins back peddling and talks about the mosque at ground zero, President Obama’s bloodlines and heritage and how he’s sympathetic to the Islamic faith. Fair enough…but none of that makes him a Muslim. It simply shows our President is tolerant of the Muslim faith. But does that make him a Muslim? It does not.

IS President Obama a Muslim? I don’t know. Neither do you. Neither does the idiot.

I do know this. President Obama is a Democrat. His actions suggest a belief in tolerance of other faiths. Traditionally, Muslims and Jews have been at polar opposites; going so far as to kill one another on a annual, weekly even daily basis. There are a significant number of folks who claim to be Jewish in the Democratic party; people who are political allies of President Obama. If he’s a Muslim, wouldn’t these Jewish politicians be his arch enemies?

The idiot, like most idiots, starts talking before thinking things over. To state one’s belief is a step. To claim that belief to be undeniably true is a bigger step. To guarantee it is a third (and bigger…and stupider) step.

Before forming a belief system, and definitely before stating your beliefs and claiming their truth, think. It seems that people who don’t think typically raise their voices the loudest. And then others who don’t think begin to follow those ways because they, too, haven’t took the time to think things out rationally.

Will this ever change? Doubtful. The world has been saturated with people who believe ridiculous things since day #1. Yet, I don’t want to be one of these people. I want to see what’s behind the curtain before making claims I may have to retract later. I want to have a well thought out reason for my beliefs. Why? To win an argument or discussion? No. Simply because I want to have an accurate view of the world. Not an opinion based on short sided thinking.

What about you? Do you speak before thinking? Do you espouse claims that don’t pass the sniff test? Do you believe what others say, simply because they have the bully pulpit? I’ve been this guy in the past…but now, I’ll politely listen. And I’ll internally think. And I’ll come to the most logical, rational set of beliefs; not one that I buy into just because someone else does.

Man's Search For Meaning

2010-08-22T14:33:00.002-04:00

Back at my freshman year at Missouri State, I had to read Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning" for a religion 101 class. Did I read it? Yes. Do I remember it? Very, very little.

Yet, it's one of those books that ranks up there with, oh, the Bible, and Why Bad Things Happen To Good People, etc. Such valueable information, all presented with such horrid reality from the holocaust that, if nothing else, it leaves the reader knowing how good we have it.

Ya know, though, I don't think that lowest common denominator was Frankl's goal; i.e., that people feel good b/c they're not in a concentration camp. Rather, he's trying to show his philosophy that his reason for survival was partially credited by his desire to see his wife again and have hisschool of thought known by the world.

When Frankl talked about this (BTW, I just read the book again over the last few days), I kinda related to him. When I do speeches or write articles or books or whatever, my goal isn't that the listener/reader walk away going, "Man, with everything Marcus has been through, I've got nothing to complain about!" Rather, I'm hopeful that the elements I put into practice to get through my extreme adversity can be applicable to the life of the reader/listener. Dig?

Because of my desire to be known for my motto and philosophies, I paid particular attention to those of Frankl. Still, how can you read aboput the horrors of Auschweitz and not be grateful to live in 21st century America?

While I often give book reccomendations to my blog readers, this is one of those books of paramount importance. I feel like our world would be better off if everyone at a sixth grade level or above would read, "Man's Search For Meaning." That's a pretty big position...and one I don't take lightly. The info therein is just so, so relevant to the lives of everyone who has ever asked the question, "What's my place in this world?"

When You Don't Know What To Feel

2010-08-15T08:56:00.002-04:00

My Facebook news feed is going crazy with excitement and angst. Why? Because so many of my FB friends are headed off to college for the first time.

Do you remember the first time you left home? Whether it was to college, out to your own place, moved in with your significant other, whatever, that's a big experience almost everyone has.

When I first left for college, I remember being out of my gourd with anxiety and excitement. It was a whole, big new world and I was pumped to dive into it. Then, when I did, it wasn't quite what I was expecting. It was a new world, true, but it was pretty lonely at first. Moving nearly 200 miles away from my best froiends, I was in a new environment, knew hardly anyone, just a whole slew of newness...and I didn't especially like it. I saw reunions of other Missouri State students; friends excited to see each other after months of being apart. I, on the other hand, knew no one.

That's the bad thing. The good thing was that it didn't take too long to start making friends-some of which I still have to this day. But those first days at school? Yeah, sad, lonely, scared and intimidated.

For my young friends who are headed off to college for the first time, take it from a veteran: give it some time. The newness will be gone in a short time. You'll make friends, experience new things and, soon, it'll just be your life. To get to that point, though, you've gotta dive in head first. I encourage and challenge you to put yourself out there. Walk up to people to make new friends, go somewhere uninvited, smile, experience. You'll be glad you did.

One Foot In Front Of The Other

2010-08-14T12:41:00.002-04:00

Have you seen "The Drop"? If not, check it out at:

www.TheDropMovie.com

This is the seven minute short film we created earlier this year for a film contest. That gave us the itch to create a full length feature film based on my autobio, "After This..." For years, folks have told me "After This..." would make a great movie. And, having heard this so many times, I finally started to believe it.

Lately, we've shifted this deisre into high gear. No promises yet on if this is going to happen, but we're sure pushing forward!

I recently spoke to a gentleman in the film industry who does budget breakdowns for full length features. Of course, being a businessman, my mind is constantly fluttering around on how we can make this film, market it, make it a huge hit. When I started speaking with the budget breakdown guy, he said simply, "There are other people who need to worry about the marketing, Marcus. Your job is to just keep the passion for the project. If you keep putting one foot in front of the other, that passion will get this movie into production."

I marinated on that a while and decided he's right. While I can help with marketing, etc., my biggest gift is simply having the story. Done. And how much of life's successes is simply because someone keeps putting one foot in front of the next?

If I were super sensitive, I'd have given up on this project already. The first time someone told me how much it costs just to edit a film, I'd have been out. The first time I heard about how few films are bought, I'd have given up. But, we haven't yet. And we're going to keep knocking on doors, meeting with folks and pushing forward until we've exhausted every possibility. And then? We're going to start on a different route...but now? I'm content to take that budgeter's advice and keep putting one foot in front of the next.

Am I really Admitting To This on EE?

2010-08-09T20:12:00.002-04:00

Okay, gotta give some back story before making this admission...

I play acoustic guitar. One of my biggest joys in life is performing live. Not doing my speaking thang (though that's a lot of fun, too), but having my 12 string Taylor on my lap, sitting on a bar stool with a mic in front of my face. In that position, you'l find me blaring out sub-par Johnny Cash, Springsteen, Tom Petty and John Prine tunes.

Since relocating to Florida a few years back, I haven't pursued playing out much; what we in the biz call "gigging." Have done a few acoustic sets, but nothing like I was doing in STL. Anyway, it's something I want to get back into.

As avid of a reader as I am, I'm currently reading a book you would never, in a million years, guess I'd be reading. The book? "The Girl's Guide To Rocking" by Jessica Hopper.

Why is a 35 year old man reading this? Mainly because there's actually good info in there. Granted, I'm not a teenage chick (who the book is aimed at), but good info nonetheless. Like, how to book gigs, the different styles of guitars (taught me a few things) and a lot about recording (something I really haven't done)

Still, the thing I dig most about this book is the self empowerment. Hopper gives a story of some girls who formed a band and, not being old enough to play in bars, they asked a local pizza joint if they could play there. Their friends came, bought pizza, so the owner asked the girls to come back the next weekend. This grew and grew until the girl band was booking other gigs. Finally, they got to big to play the pizzeria...and they were just barely high schoolers.

Hopper encourages readers to go out, look under every stone, ask tons of questions and, if you're persistent, you'll get what you want. I love this! And I love this message delivered to girls in such a positive, yet still rock and roll, way.

If we wait around for opportunity to come knocking, well, sometimes it will. More often, though, we're spending our lives just, well, waiting. I don't live like that. I won't live like that. And after reading Hopper's book, I doubt too many readers will want to live like that, either.

Resetting With Help From The Sandman

2010-08-08T10:43:00.002-04:00

Do you ever get stressed out? Of course-we all do. How do you deal with the pressure?

When I get stressed, I tend to get into a funk. I.E., I don't tend to be stressed, take a few deep breaths and de-stressify myself. Instead, I get anxious and keep that anxiety around for many hours. This eats at me, I know it's not healthy and yet? It's really tough to change. Not that I'm not trying, but it's become my pattern and habit.

I was speaking with a friend recently about this. Her suggestion? Go to bed. And early. Write the day off as a bad day, go to bed early and tell yourself that when you wake up in the morning, yesterday is over. Then, specifically mae the choice NOT to let yesterday become today.

Sound advice. And ya know? It works.

Next time you're stressed, do the natural thing (after screaming at your spouse, I mean!)...just go to bed. The most natural way for the body to heal is sleep. And let's face it...stress is an injury. It hurts our immune system, our digestive system, our nervous system. It just sucks. Sleep...and when you wake up, it's a new day.

AHEAD 2010

2010-07-21T18:48:00.001-04:00

Last week found the AHEAD conference in the Mile High City…and with yours truly exhibiting as always! The Assoc. on Higher Education and Disability is composed of disability support services professionals at colleges and universities across the country, plus a variety of other professionals who work in the field with disabilities. And, as always, it was such a great time seeing awesome people!

Special thanks to Jenny Dugger, Rae, Melanie Thompson, Emily, Erin, Lana, Tamara and a whole slew of others who I did NOT get to go to dinner with!

Thanks to all who stopped by our booth and got books, grabbed info and expressed interest in bringing the Marcus message to campus this fall!

They Need Everything

2010-07-18T18:06:00.002-04:00

Lsast night, I played an acoustic set with my buddy, C.J. "Pappa Capps" Jurnigan for a chairity event.

Dan, a friend of C.J.'s and now mine, had an interesting experience. As a guy in his mid-20s, he was making good bread, living the life he wanted and was invited to go on a church trip to Honduras to do some missionary work. He'd done mission trips before, but this time, he felt led to a certain area of Honduras. There, he found a group of children living in a village. These kids were all the product of incest, rape and molestation and are outcasts in the community. This is when Dan's mission trip became a mission of his own.

He's made it his mission to help these children by teaching them to help themselves. In addition to helping feed and clothe them, he's also teaching them the responsibility of community. They're shown every day that they CAN play a part in their own development and their community by picking up litter off the beach.

Dan has just achieved 501C3 status for his organization, and last night's event was the first fund/awareness raiser he's had. The org is so new, in fact, that their web site isn't yet fully developed. Please stay tuned to EE for updates on Dan's progress and for opprotunities to help out the less fortunate of Central America.

Running Their Own Race

2010-07-06T09:57:00.002-04:00

Over the weekend, I got caught up with my buddy, C.J. He's in a local band with a local celebrity and has really been getting some attention in the Orlando area. When we talked, I congratulated him on all the gigs he's been getting lately and the publicity the band has received.

"Yeah, it probably looks good from the outside," he said, "But the inside baseball scoop is that it's crumbling quick. The lead singer isn't E mailing the rest of the band the set lists, half the time we get on stage we haven't even practiced the songs he's picked out. And then there are just the egos; a lot of infighting andit starts to feel like I'm the supervisor of an adult day care."

I let him vent because, hey, that's what friends do. And really, a lot of it just sounds like rock-n-roll!

The next day, I saw his post on Facebook. Apparently, he had some time to simmer down because this was his status:

"I've come to realize all the crap I presume from other people isn't necessarily what I think. Everyone is just busy trying to run their own race. So am I."

When I take some time to marinate on this, it gets even more clear. When I get frustrated at others for the way they act, talk, etc., I've been trying to take a step back and be Zen. They're just running their race the only way they know how. I am, too.

Who'd Have Thunk I Could Have Written Three Books?

2010-06-30T23:51:00.002-04:00

Yeah, back in the day, I wasn't much of a reader. I'm talking middle and high school. But, I guess once the state doesn't require you to go to school any more, it makes you want to learn. Or, at least, that's the case with me.

Yet, as a middle or high schooler, I never, EVER could have imagined I'd some day be an author. Much less write a second book. And now?

I'm ecstatic to announce the release of my third book, "I'm Here: Compassionate Communication In Patient Care."

My second book focused on health care professionals, "I'm Here" is autobiographical and written in the same style as, "Stethoscope." If you've read either "After This..." or my first health care book, "The Other End Of The Stethoscope: 33 Insights For Excellent Patient Care", I think you're just going to love, "I'm Here."

To get your very own copy, visit the store on www.MarcusEngel.com at:

http://www.MarcusEngelProducts.com

Thanks so much for your support of my writing, for taking a look at this blog and simply for taking an interest in my experiences!

Disappointing Differences In Dexter?

2010-06-29T18:17:00.002-04:00

I freaking love the Showtime series, Dexter. I've read all Jeff Lindsay's "Dexter" books and, for the first time ever, a show is better than the books...and the books are awesome!

Here's the synopsis:

Dexter is a blood splatter analyst who works in forensics for Miami Metro Police Department. With cop blood in his own veins, Dexter is the expert's expert when it comes to blood splatters at a murder. He can draw a virtual picture, simply looking at the angles in which the blood has been thrown from the victim's wound. Kinda cool.

Here's the thing, though: Dexter himself is a serial killer. Crazy as this sounds, though, he only kills bad guys. Serial rapists, neo Nazis, pedophiles...those who've continually hurt others, yet who've managed to escape the law. Dexter follows a strict code taught by his cop father: The Code of Harry. In essence, it allows ONLY for the killing of guilty individuals. As you watch the show (which has fabulous actors, BTW) you really begin to root for Dexter. Then, I have to kinda catch myself...I'm rooting for someone's murder? Well, sure I can get caught up in the moment...and it's all fictional on the TV screen, right?

Well, in the DVD case of season #3 of Dexter, there's a coupon for products based on Dexter, including jewelry with tiny blood splatters, as well as a necktie with police tape and blood droplets. Hey, I like Dexter, but...is this going too far?

See, I have to throw some empathy out here. There are thousands of Americans murdered every year. If I were the parent of a murdered child, I don't think I could enjoy watching Dexter. And I wouldn't have to because that's the power of the remote control. If it offends you, turn the channel. Or, better yet, turn it off. But, if I buy a necktie and have a long conversation with someone while wearing said tie, do they have the right to be offended? Frankly, I think they do. Could it feel like belittling their loss? Or worse, glorifying it?

This is kind of how I feel when I've gone to some comedy clubs. Let's face it, at most comedy clubs, it's a comedian trying to get a start in the entertainment biz. By all means, do so. And by all means, get laughs however you can. Yet, because comedy clubs most often are just bars with a stage, as you can expect, there's lots of drinking going on. Well, when the audience is drunk, the comedian is on pretty safe territory to do drinking jokes. Fair enough. Yet, on more than one occassion, I've heard those drinking jokes go into drinking and driving jokes. I don't really find drunk driving so funny.

I realize this is "my issue." It's hard to be benign enough AND funny enough to stay in the limelight. But, if a comedian got up and started making serial killer jokes, yet the audience had members who'd had a family member murdered, no one would think it's out of bounds for those people to be offended and walk out.

I'm an opinionated person. I know that, from time to time, my viewpoints are going to piss some folks off (see? Someone probably got offended by my use of the word, "piss.") I just want to be cognisant enough to know if I'm offensive. And I hope others would be, too. And because of this desire, I won't wear a tie promoting a serial killer...even IF he's fictious and only kills bad guys.

I'm Here

2010-06-24T14:23:00.002-04:00

One week, folks!

In just seven days, we'll be releasing my newest book to the public. "I'm Here: Compassionate Communication In Patient Care" will be available for purchase at MarcusEngel.com and at several of the major on line book retailers.

Be sure to check Facebook and Twitter for book giveaways leading up to the release!

BTW, July 1 will be the three year anniversary of my marriage to "I'm Here"'s editor, the lovely and talented Marvelyne. Help us celebrate by getting yourself a copy on release day!

Slaid

2010-06-22T19:12:00.003-04:00

Please don't expect anything real profound this post, K?

Several years ago, a buddy turned me onto a Texas singer/songwriter named Slaid Cleaves. Love, LOVE this guy's music. I, in turn, have turned many of my friends onto Slaid, too.

Well, my great friends, Bryce & Nicole Taylor, live in Slaid's backyard (almost literally) in Austin, Texas, the center of the live music world. Recently, Slaid closed the show at the Kerrville Folk Festival, a place that has become of mythical proportion to yours truly and somewhere I hope to be next June when it happens again!

Anyway, Bryce and Nicole grabbed Slaid's latest CD for me and even gt him to autograph it! Such a thoughtful gesture and something I LOVE! If you dig singer/songwriter folk with an edgey flare, check out:

www.Slaid.com

Or put it into Pandora...I know not a single person who hasn't heard Slaid's music and fallen in love. Hope you will, too!

My Old Man

2010-06-20T14:25:00.003-04:00

John Prine is one of my favorite artists. Folk music, nothing visual (duh!)

Prine's best friend was Steve Goodman, another folkie best known for writing the song, "The City Of New Orleans."

This morning, I got re-acquainted with a Steve Goodman song performed by Prine that I haven't heard for a couple years, "My Old Man." If you want a tear jerker of a song, check it out.

When I finished listening to it, my wife asked me what most appealed to me about this tune. First off, I think men aren't usually real huggy huggy emotional types. We're known for being the more reserved of the genders where emotions are concerned. So, I kinda like all songs sung about dads and sons.

This one, though, is an adult son talking about his recently departed father. The lyric that sticks out most to meis this:

"And I'd give up all I own to hear what he said when I wasn't listening to my old man"

Maybe it's because I'm older and a little wiser, or maybe it's because I have stepkids and a few others who've become my kids, but I really identify with this lyric.

My young life was never filled with yelling matches with my father. Anyone who knows Phil Engel knows he's way too happy go lucky and laid back to waste much energy on arguing. I wish I were more like him in that way.

I guess because my kids are stepkids and I didn't have to raise them from infancy that I don't totally relate to being a father. I married Taylor, Jordan and Maddison's mom when they were all teenagers. By that time, all the dirty diapers and temper tantrums were over (mostly).

I guess I hope my stepkids will listen to some of my guidance now. But, if they don't? No biggie. I wish I would have listened to my dad more growing up, but I think he knew I was going to have to make a lot of my own mistakes before I'd learn. And I know that for my kids, too. Nowadays, I want to be sure I'm also listening to my kids...if I can listen to my Dad, and still be open to listening to my kids, then I think that'll help me be more the kind of person I want to be: someone who's compassionate, caring and a good listener. I guess that's stuff I learned from My Old Man. Thanks, Dad...

One Crazy Table

2010-06-19T11:46:00.002-04:00

Last night, we went out to eat with my father in law for Dad's Day. He's got a real quick wit and is a warehouse full of corny jokes...and this is usually displayed to the wait staff by the time the menus are passed out.

Last night, as our water was being served, he said to the waitress, "You're going to find that you're serving a bunch of crazy people..." This got a laugh from all of us, including the waitress.

The funny thing is, if anyone had walked up at different moments during the meal, they certainly WOULD have thought of us as crazy. In the couple hours we sat there, conversation touched upon the oil spill in the Gulf, black helicopters, UFOs, Pentecostal preachers from the 1970s, NPR,blogging, weapons and a slew of other topics. If a waiter or waitress swooped at any moment while one of these topics was being discussed, they could have very well thought all six of us WERE crazy.

Okay, now, singular focus back on yours truly. My wife and I were the first to arrived. We asked for a table for six and after we were seated, the hostess began placing menus and utensils around the table. I sat down into an uncomfortable wooden straightback chair and knew it was going to be a long night for me. See, due to recent surgeries, I still have a tender surgical incision between my navel and waistline. My jeans were pressing into the jeans and it was hard to get comfortable. I turned to my wife and quietly said, "I think I'm going to have to unbutton my pants."

Thing is? The hostess, unbeknownst to me, was still placing menus and utensils down...and apparently I hadn't spoken quietly enough. Once the rest of our family showed up, the wait staff, due to my gaff, already knew we were a bunch of crazies!

And, of course, I'm just kidding about the crazies part. Yet, if you walked past our table while someone said "UFOs", you might think we were crazy.

What do we learn from this? First and foremost that unless you sat there throughout the meal with six highly intelligent people, you wouldn't get an idea of our sanity. I've been very guilty in the past of thin slicing and pidegeon holing a person based on an initial reaction to a statement. This isn't fair nor accurate.

Realize that first impressions aren't always accurate. They're impressions; nothing more. They carry weight, sure, but if they are looked at as the gospel truth, that's really not fair.

Just take a little time before making a judgement...no matter if that determination turns out to be crazy or not!

Go Ask Alice...Who Her Friends Are

2010-06-18T11:12:00.002-04:00

K, so it's spring of 1989 and I'm taking my first health course. It's 8th grade, I'm in Mr. Brake's class at Montgomery County R-II Middle School and I'm completely fascinated by sex ed. Who wasn't, after all?

After sex, what's the natural progression? Drugs! So, we're learning about booze and pot and what's the diff in a stimulant and a depressant, just an overview of drugs. They're bad, Mmm K?

I very vividly remember a book being referenced in class called, "Go Ask Alice." It's kinda a classic in the young adult reader category to describe the horrors of drug abuse. Well, in 8th grade, I wanted nothing to do with reading. Kinda the same through high school, until my senior year when I finally started to see some of the attraction of literature. Then? A few months later, I was a certified bibliophile. And by this time, I'm in my late teens and, hey, "young adult" means kids-not me. Thus, I never took the time to read, "Go Ask Alice"...until now.

I'm older, slightly wiser and more experienced with the world. Plus, now that I have kids, I read this book from the perspective of a parent. Last night, while working my way into Alice's drug world, I came across a quote I thought made an awesome amoung of sense:

"Real friendship can't be built on sympathy and a hanging on to someone just to keep from drowning. It has to be built on mutual likes and abilities and, yes, even backgrounds."

Before I got married, all I had were my friendships. I was unaccustomed to what the relationship of marriage truly was. I mean, we all have examples, but until you've been in a marriage, it's all seen from outside the fishbowl.

I've always been someone to nurture friendships. Through social media, that's even easier these days. But before I got married, your friends are your friends and, well, that's whatcha got.

It wasn't until after I had a ring on my finger did I start to understand that some of my bachelor relationships weren't necessarily built on mutual likes and interests but on sympathy or, well, just because I didn't know any better how to have healthy relationships with all friends. Heck, it's entirely possible that people were friends with ME due to sympathy and hanging on to keep from drowning, as the quote says.

Now that I'm in y mid 30s, happily married and always striving to have healthy relationships, I'm a little more likely to let some relationships go. Why? I've moved to another fishbowl and looked in on friendships. If they're not mutually beneficial, if they're unhealthy in any emotional or psychological way...screw 'em. Life is too short to stay in relationship with anyone that isn't healthy.

Who knew the "young adult" could have such insight?

Soon To Be Tweeting Again

2010-06-16T12:09:00.002-04:00

Not only have I been lax on blogging, but also on tweeting. However, thanks to my buddy, Ron Graham's suggestion (BTW, visit Ron at www.accessability.blogspot.com), I've learned of a Twitter client specifically created for users of screen readers called Qwitter. A blind developer helping make Twitter more accessible...awesome! See ya on Twitter!

The Haps As Of Late

2010-06-13T16:34:00.002-04:00

When I was a pledge of Kappa Sigma back in the spring of '97, my fellow pledge brothers and I were encouraged to get interviews with the active guys in the house. This was little more than getting their basic info of hometown, pledge pin number, pledge class, birthdate, that sorta stuff. Often times, the active brother would give a quote. One of the most memorable I heard was (pardon my French here): Excuses are like assholes...everyone has one and they all stink.

Granted, this ain't exactly profound, but I've gotta say, it's made me own up to a lot more of my shortcomings rather than rattling off some lame excuse!

So, as not to give you said lame excuse, I'll share why you've seen very few EE posts over the last couple months. From the last post date and for the next six weeks, I have little excuse. I was traveling, I was busy, but more than anything, I just failed to get 'er done.

Then, from May 5 until today, my excuse is a lot more legit...

On May 5, I went in for surgery at Missouri Baptist Hospital in St. Louis, MO. Why, since I live in Florida, would I go back to my hometown of St. Louis for surgery? Simple: There will never, EVER be a plastic surgeon who will work on me from the neck up other than Dr. Timothy Jones. Dr. Jones did my first facial reconstruction nearly 17 years ago and every reconstructive operation on me since. And, he's in STL. Which means I'll travel so as to keep my favorite surgeon's results!

Upon Dr. Jones' reccomendation, I was also having some hernia repairs done by Dr. Omar Guerra. These two awesome docs tag teamed on yours truly for a mere 12 hour operation on May 5.

A few days post op, it was pretty obvious that something just wasn't right. After X rays and CT scans, we learned that due to a lengthy surgery and the shifting of some abdominal scar tissue, my bowels were obstructed. Another surgery(kinda emergency since it started close to midnight) and another week of hospitalization while my guts kicked back into gear.

Discharged from Mo Bap and came home to Orlando...where I failed to progress. After several days of hurting and digressing, we went to a nearby hospital where it was determined I had ANOTHER bowel obstruction; this one due to a raging infection at the incision site from the last obstruction repair. Another surgery, another week in the hospital and I came home, still on IV atibiotics b/c the infection was an antibiotic resistant bit of nastiness.

So, after roughly a month of hospitalization and some extra time with homebound recovery, I am just now getting back to normal. All docs have suggested I spend the next month or so laying kinda low, so even E mail for this summer may be sporadic. Still, I'll try to get some posts up now that I'm totally capable of getting back in the office.

Thanks for understanding why EE has been so inactive...I'll try not to continue this habit! Hey, no one wants to stink!

Radio Lab

2010-03-14T23:22:00.002-04:00

I love stories! If they're entertaining, awesome! If they're educational, all the better!

One of the places I consistently get stories fed into my noggin is through podcasts of "This American Life" on NPR. It is, by far, my favorite NPR program.

On a recent podcast of "This American Life", they ran a segment from the Radio Lab show from WNYC in New York. Entertaining, educational and, best of all, fast paced. I love to cram as much info into my brain in the shortest time possible.

If you're a NPR and/or a fan of "This American Life", you'll probably also love Radio Lab. Check out the site at:

www.RadioLab.org

Elon University

2010-03-12T16:28:00.002-05:00

On Tuesday, March 9, I was honored to be the keynote speaker at Elon University. This program was sponsored by Elon's Safe Rides program, a system of transporting Elon students safely around the area. Whether the student is intoxicated, fearful for their safety or it's just too cold out, Safe Rides is there to help keep Elon students safe.

A huge thanks goes to Elon's own Nicole Parker, Pope, Kimberly, the SPARKS(s), and everyone who made my time in NC so memorable! Gotta say, hitting some North Carolina BBQ didn't hurt my feelings, either!

Also want to thank the brothers of the Lambda Lambda chapter of Kappa Sigma for helping provide transportation on Tuesday. Was great to get to know the brothers of the Lambda Lambda chapter. The chapter also showed up in full force to support my program – and that's showing a brother some love!

The Drop Is Finally Done!

2010-03-08T19:29:00.002-05:00

Yep, that's right! You can finally view "The Drop", a seven minute short film adapted from "After This..." Check it out on the official movie site:

www.TheDropMovie.com

I'd love any feedback you'd care to give, too! We're so totally excited that, in the 100 hours it's been out, we've already had 2500 views!

Voting and viewing are the name of the game here, friends...the more votes, the more likely we are to be able to create a full length feature based on the life of yours truly.

Please, PLEASE help us win this current contest we're in with:

www.TheDoorpost.com

by viewing the movie and voting at TheDoorpost.com

As always, HUGE thanks go to my wife for creating such an awesome screenplay, my sis-in-law, Martha Munizzi, and all the actors, crew and helpers it took to make "The Drop" a reality!

Making Plans

2010-02-24T11:56:00.002-05:00

This may come across morbid, but I'll say it any way...

We are currently on death watch for my grandmother-in-law.

Nana is 94 years old and from her bed in the nursing home, has refused food, water and medication for the last several days. Simply put, she's lost the will to live. Yet, she's in no pain, she's not dying from cancer or anything-she's just very, very old (and as we all know, age isn't about years, but aboutthe life in those years)

This morning over coffee, we got today's update on Nana's condition. Stable. This is actually bad news...she's not faltering quickly, and the dying process could drag out for weeks.

This sparked conversations about what we'd want to have happen if we're ever in Nana's condition. first and foremost, we have legal documentation that let's our wishes be known. Second, we talk about the hard topics; life support, Alzheimer's, dementia, etc.

Because death is so taboo to so many people, their wishes are never known. And that, my friends, leaves a lot of pressure on the family.

I encourage you to take the time to discuss your wishes with the people you love. Even better, drop $100 on a lawyer writing up your wishes. We're all going to succumb to the ggreat equalizer, sooner or later. My goal is to stay out of that grey area between life and death. Whatever your wishes, communicate them now, while you're in the white zone.

Learning To Be Zen

2010-02-22T13:59:00.002-05:00

It's no real secret that I'm kinda a control freak. I'm type A, I like planning, execution and efficiency. In that order. Yet, the world doesn't always go the way things are planned. For control freaks like me, this can throw a whole monkey wrench into the mix.

For example, if you've kept up with me on Facebook, you've probably seen that the last few months have been spent getting my newest health care book finished. Well, it finally got sent off to the typesetter this morning! Keep your fingers crossed, but it should be in hard copy and ready to distribute by early April. Yippie!

For the last couple of years of taking notes, observing scenarios, etc. that have been turned into this book, I've planned on the title: "The Other End Of The Stethoscope: 33 MORE Insights For Excellent Patient Care."

Last week, I got a call from one of my distributors. He said that when their buyers see two books with such similar titles, they often cancel each other out. I.E., instead of buying both as a set, they'll buy neither. We certainly don't want that. So, what to do? Change the title!

Now, I've never been emotionally married to "Stetho #2" for a title. Still, that's how I've referred to it for the last couple years. Now that it's about to be published? The title has changed. It will be, "I'm Here: Compassionate Communication In Patient Care."

It's just one of those things; I've had to learn that the way it was planned tain't going to happen. So, we change. We adapt. And hopefully, that also means growth.

Now, throw in another situation:

This Friday, we'll be flying to Missouri. It's time to see family, but the most important things on the schedule are my grandmother's 90th birthday party, and a keynote lecture for the Team Spirit reunion in Jefferson City.

Then this morning? The phone rang. It's my lawyer. In late 2005, I was denied access to a taxi in St. Louis due to Carson's presence. While I hate the idea of suing anyone, I'm not willing to allow my civil rights to be trampled upon. It's taken the better part of tive years, but it's finally time to sit down with the lawyers, give the depositions, listen to the other depositions and, if necessary, go to court. While I'm ready and willing to do whatever has to be done, it throws that monkey wrench back in our travel plans.

Also just got a call from my mother in law. My wife's 94 year old grandmother will, in all likelihood, pass away within the next week. She's ready to go and I think everyone will be happy, for her sake, when she finally gets some relief. There is a strong possibility that her passing will also cause us to alter our travel schedule.

Right now is such a perfect opportunity for me to work on being Zen. Whatever will be, will be. And even to recognize this is a decent step for a control freak like me.

Is Valentine's Day Politically Incorrect?

2010-02-14T13:20:00.002-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day, folks!

Chances are, unless you're in a relationship, Valentine's Day pretty much blows for you. Looking over the Facebook statuses of my friends the last several days, there seems to be as much hatred as love going around!

And really, this makes sense. I think it's human nature to want to be in relation with others. I also think it's human nature to want to be in a close, intimate relationship with one other person. That doesn't mean monogamy because, we all know, there are plenty of folks who can't seem to only sleep with their spouse. But I DO think most folks have a desire to be bonded with another human being. And thus, we have Valentine's Day. A day filled with references to love, relationships, intimacy, etc.

Let's think about people who do NOT have a special someone to fill that intimacy need. First thought is about single people. These are the people most likely to be disgruntled about having all the lovey dovey stuff shoved down their throat. But, I couldn't help think of a few other factions of folks:

What does Valentine's Day mean to you if your partner is deceased?

What does it mean if your loved one is dying?

What about if that person is serving in the military overseas? Incarcerated? Out of town on business? Divorced from you? Separated?

There are so, so many people who Valentine's is a painful holiday. Today, while you're (hopefully) spending time with your special someone, give a few thoughts (and maybe a call or a card) to those who you know who may not have a special someone with them...

What I learned Today From The History Channel

2010-02-12T20:08:00.002-05:00

Net connection was down half the day, my Victor Stream digital audio reader was out of juice which meant I had to return to the age old time killer: the tube.

Flipping around on the History Channel, I came across an interview with an expert at the Smithsonian...and learned some stuff.

First off, the Smithsonian rep discussed how agonizing it is to hear parents and grandparents telling their children things that aren't historically fact. For example, the original Star Spangled Banner...

If you're walking through the Smithsonian and see a ginormous flag, your brain might jump to all the things you know about the flag. It was sewn by Betsy Ross, her flag flew over Fort McHenry and was spotted by Francis Scott Key when he penned the poem, yada yada yada.

But, you'd be wrong. In all actuality, Betsy Ross had absolutely nothing to do with the creation of our American flag. True, she was a seamstress in Boston. True, she knew George Washington. But past that? Nada.

Once our American flag was born, Betsy Ross' son (who would get a great job in PR these days) went around telling everyone how his mother sewed Old Glory. But, he was simply a big, fat liar. And yet? How many of us were taught this in school? MMy hand is raised!

Several weeks ago, I was having dinner with a friend and we were discussing someone we both know loosely, but neither of us would consider a friend. MY friend said something I didn't believe...an outlandish claim made by our acquaintance. I called B.S. on that and asked my friend if she believed it. Her response?

"Well, I guess I've heard him say it enough times that I don't think he can be lying."

Really? So, if someone says something repeatedly, it gains more credibility?

Sadly, that's true. It was back in the late 1700s when Betsy's son was spreading HIS B.S....and it happens today.

Maybe the older I get, the more skeptical I get. And maybe that's not a bad thing. But hearing things, both like this episode on History AND the convo with my friend, make me question much of what I believe.

You?

Buena Vista University

2010-02-11T13:21:00.003-05:00

Feb 8 found me speaking for several different factions of Buena Vista University in Storm Lake, Iowa. This was my first trip to Storm Lake and, well, it lived up to the name! For a Floridian boy now, being knee deep in snow drifts and negative temps was quite the eye opener! (pardon the pun)

The only thing more fun than being hunkered down in a warm suite, cuddled up under a blanket watching the Superbowl with Marvelyne was the programs themselves. A HUGE thanks goes to the human relations class, the Buena Vista student athletes and coaches, the nursing and pre-med majors and reps from the local hospital for the patient care program. Plus, the nearly 20% of campus that showed up for the evening keynote...Wow! You guys rock!

Extra special thanks goes to Donna and Tom Musel for being such incredible hosts! Had so much fun with you guys...smiley fries and one of the best ruben sammiches ever! Look forward to a journey back to Storm Lake sometime in the future!

Idaho State University

2010-02-11T13:18:00.001-05:00

On Feb. 4, Idaho State University hosted yours truly to campus for keynotes. Thanks to the fraternities and sororities at ISU for being such an awesome audience for the afternoon keynote, and thanks to the general student population of ISU for coming out that evening!

Special thanks to Aaron McCabe, Val, Sammie and Tanya for being such awesome hosts! Also thanks to the ISU chapter of Kappa Sigma for welcoming in a brother into their midst! Thanks, gentlemen! AEKDB

Life Is Too Short To...

2010-02-03T18:48:00.002-05:00

I just saw one of the strangest Facebook bits yet. Go to info on a person's profile and you'll often see the person's favorite movies, TV shows, books and quotes.

Today, a grown man (in his 30s) with a couple kids had this listed as his favorite books: "Life is too short to read."

Really? I understand when people put LMAO for books. They're not readers. No biggie. No rule saying you have to be. But thinking that life is too short to read?

If life is too short (which it really is), shouldn't we all embrace things like:

Life is too short to hate
Life is too short to hold grudges
Life is too short to be petty

For yours truly, life without books isn't really worth living. I so enjoy reading that it's just crazy to think of a world where I couldn't go get lost in a novel. I've learned so, so much from the lives of others through a book's interpretation. It just baffles my mind...how can life be too short to read?

The Goose, The Gander and Gabbing

2010-02-03T18:26:00.002-05:00

I'm a bit behind on podcast listening, so some of my info was a lot more relevant a couple weeks ago. Things like the Haiti response are currently filtering into my melon, just a bit tardy...

One of my most recent podcasts was an interview with a prominent Missouri lawmaker who was recently indicted on charges of campaign corruption. I don't know this guy, I know his crime concerned nothing to do with defrauding the citizens, but he lied to an investigative team of FBI agents and THAT's a big part of the reason he'll probably be wearing silver bracelets.

When the interviewer candidly asked the former lawmaker about his image, his work and how he'll be remembered, the lawmaker made an interesting point. In a nutshell, he said he hopes he'll be remembered for the years of good service he gave to his fellow citizens, and not for a momentary lapse of judgement which cost him his job AND his freedom.

Good point. I think we all have the potential to make a really dumb choice and have it be our legacy. Lord knows I'm a walking example of another person's bad choice, just a few moments of wrong decisions and-BAM! Your identity is sealed. Yet...is that really fair? Maybe not, but it's reality.

Now, let's talk about something else. Anyone who knows me is aware of my deep seeded revulsion to money snatching religious "authorities." It disgusts me to no end to hear about clergy who manipulate parishoners out of money based on greed. Frankly, I don't have much fondness for any intersection of money and God. But, I digress...

Knowing my distaste for church and money issues, you could probably guess I'd be up in arms over Pat Robertson's remarks on Haiti. Ya know, the idea that 200 years ago, the Haitians made a deal with Satan and that's why the earthquake happened. Truly, you can't get much more absurd than that.

And Pat Robertson has a bit of a history of saying wacky things, so this may not totally apply...but, just for a second, let's give ol' Pat the benefit of the doubt. Let's say he misspoke and, if he could, he'd go back and retract that comment...or even clarify it in such a way that it's not so off the wall. Would we, the public, have any grace for Pat? It's hard to think we would. Yet, like the lawmaker who made a quick decision that cost him his career, Pat Robertson's words maybe...just maybe...might have not been what he meant. And he's dealing with the fallout.

I don't buy into tele- evangelists, but a whole, WHOLE lotta people do. And if Pat Robertson's 700 Club has given those folks hope and prayer and comfort, it's unfortunate his comments on Haiti overshadow those good works.

It ain't my thing, but I'm trying to be a little more accepting of the mistakes of others. If nothing else, I want to be able to, at least, have a little perspective.

Lonsdale Chamber of Commerce, MN

2010-02-01T20:08:00.002-05:00

In the acknowledgements of "After This...", I reference my friend, John Vollertsen, for giving me the best Thanksgiving ever.

This all comes as a result of the situation I was in back at Thanksgiving 1994. I was a 19 year old kid, living in Denver, CO, 800 miles from home and stuck in a rehab school I loathed. John, whom I'd known since we were 14, was living in Boulder, just half an hour up the road. When the rehab school would get unbearable, John would swing down to Denver, pick me up for a weekend of non-rehab debochery. I treasured those times so, SO much; just having a friend-an old friend, so nearby who was such a support gave me a lot of peace of mind at that time.

And Thanksgiving? This was the first major holiday in my 19 years NOT spent with my family. Yet, John, his girlfriend, roommate, myself and a couple other stragglers ended up at John's apartment for the Turkey Day feast. To be in such a fun environment, without family when we all needed to feel some sense of family, still ranks as one of my favorite holidays...ever.

Now, a decade and a half later, John is living in Minnesota and involved in his area Chamber of Commerce. When he asked if I'd be willing to deliver a speech to his Chamber...it's a no brainer.

So, thanks to the Chamber, but also thanks to John for believing that messed up kid in 1994 could have something valueable to say to local business owners in 2010. Thanks, everyone!

A Perfect Day For Banana Fish

2010-01-28T15:44:00.002-05:00

J.D. Salinger, dead at 91.

I never read Salinger until I was 19. But from that first read of "Catcher in the Rye", I was hooked. On to "Nine Stories" and "Frannie and Zooey" and on and on again. Such a fantastic writer, such complex themes, such an ability to make me think I'm not as crazy as I think.

One of my fav stories of Salinger's is "A Perfect Day For Banana Fish", a story about a wonderful day at the beach, a man showing a little girl the uninhibited joy of the ocean and telling her tall tales along the way. In typical Salinger style, it ends with a tragedy...and that tragedy comes back to haunt the reader in "Frannie and Zooey."

I hope wherever Mr. Salinger is now, he's enjoying a perfect day...even if there are no banana fish.

The Drop

2010-01-28T14:55:00.002-05:00

Special for those who read Engel's Ensights is a bit of exciting info!

Several months ago, my sister-in-law, Martha Munizzi, read "After This..." She loved the concept, especially the scene where I was at rehab school in Denver and did the drop.

An opprotunity came up to enter a film contest and, lo and behold, we're doing it! The last several weeks of inactivity on Engel's Ensights blog have been due to casting calls, screenwriting sessions, rehersals, filming, editing, soundtracks and everything that goes into creating a short film.

It's a heck of an undertaking to condense nearly two years of experiences down into a seven minute short film...but we've done it! The editing and final touches should be completed within a week and shipped off to the contest! When the film is available for public viewing, bet your fur it'll be up on Engel's Ensights!

For now? Just hold on tight...when this film is done, we're hoping to turn it into a full length presentation. Who knows? Your friendly neighborhood blogger could be hitting the big screen soon!

You:

2010-01-15T09:46:00.002-05:00

Unless you simply don't watch TV, there's every chance you know Dr. Oz. Oprah first started bringing Dr. Oz around on her show to help inform viewers about different medical issues. His true gift is being able to communicate health matters in a down to earth way. After all, how many of us know our poop should be S-shaped thanks to Dr. Oz?

I just started reading Dr. Oz's "You: On A Diet." I found the title kinda intriguing since, as we've learned for years, diets don't work long term. It has to be a lifestyle change to really have lasting effects. Nonetheless, I enjoyed "You: The Owner's Manual" a few years back, so I dove into "Diet" a night or two ago.

And again, I'm so impressed by the way information is communicated. And since we're in the final stages of finishing up "Stethoscope #2", it just reinforces how vital patient/provider communication is to keeping patients informed and healthy.

My B.S. from Missouri State is in sociology. Most typically, I call sociology "The most useless science on earth." But, that's so not true. Unless you are seeking a Ph.D., no one will ever give you a job as a sociologist, but sociology will help whatever job you do; sales, education, whatever. Same with a degree in communications.

Being able to send and receive information is more key now than ever before. "You" does just that.

What the Missionaries?

2010-01-14T20:06:00.002-05:00

Okay, I don't know the full story on this, but I thought it was pretty disturbing...

A missionary group from a church in NJ was in Haiti before the earthquake. The members of the church were having no luck getting in touch with the missionaries, so they all gathered at their church to pray and support one another. The local media came to the church to cover the story.

At one point, a hurried press conference and meeting was called with the gathered members. A female parisoner took the mic and said they'd just received word...all their missionaries were okay and were waiting to get on their first flight out of Haiti.

Beg pardon?

Isn't that precisely WHEN missionaries are most needed? I'm not there and all I can really know about the disaster comes from the tube and the net. And yet? How many of us feel totally helpless? If we COULD be in Haiti, what would we do? First aid, digging through the rubble, corralling children away from dangerous areas? Pass out water? Yes...to all. We all have the ability to do something. I just cannot figure out why a group with a mission to help would, in the face of a golden opprotunity to help, try to leave. Anyone?

Dirt Cookies and Prayer

2010-01-14T10:49:00.002-05:00

In the wake of the recent devastation in Haiti from the 7.0 earthquake, I'm reminded of a blog post from Engel's Ensights a couple years back. The article was titled, "Dirt Cookies."

Haiti, being the poorest country in the western hemisphere, has poverty that makes inner city ghettos and Appalachia look like the Ritz-Carlton. Seriously, folks, we cannot even comprehend poverty this bad. Hence why the entire country fell down when the earthquake hit-no money, no jobs equals no quality infrastructure.

Back to dirt cookies...the article I'd read and later blogged about, concerned one of the foods of Haiti. The poorest of the poor in Haiti had begun to make dirt cookies...for consumption. Dirt, lard, salt mixed together and left in the sun to bake. Awful to think any human beings must eat dirt to survive.

Now, in Haiti, we're hearing that there may be as many as 100,000 people dead. In all actuality, with as poor as the country is, they'll likely not be able to properly identify all the quake victims. Thus, may never have an accurate account of the total loss of life.

Here in America, our minds have been on ourselves. Our economy sucks, our unemployment keeps moving up, things don't look real great. But ya know what? We have the ability to help the Haitians. True, we may have to give up a couple of cups of cofffee a week, but those dollars spent on java can easily go to help the relief efforts.

And if this economy has truly hit you too hard to spare any financial donations, do something that doesn't cost money: pray. Or send good energy. Guided meditation-whatever you can do to help, even if it's just staying up on the Haitian news to be able to share that news with others...remember: we Americans live in the richest country on earth. We CAN do something to help...

No Angel

2010-01-12T15:56:00.002-05:00

When I was about eight years old, there was big drama in small town Missouri. The Hell's Angels were moving through Missouri on their way to a rally in Washington, D.C. The Mexico Ledger, the only paper covering that part of the world, showed bearded, burly guys on gigantic motorcycles riding two abreast down the road, trails of bikes as far as the camera could shoot.
All my kid-self knew of the Hell's Angels was that they were big, bad and scary. And they had really loud motorcycles. The skulls and death images scared me enough that I spent a couple nights wondering if motorcycle men in their cuts would be breaking into my house.

That image of the Hell's Angels has always stuck with me. I met several of them while working at a Texaco service station along I-70 when I was a teenager. No real impression-they were kind of an improvement on some of the townspeople.

So, just started reading "No Angel" by Jay Dobyns. Dobyns was an ATF agent who went undercover and infiltrated the Hell's Angels circa 2004. The crime, gun smuggling, drug use, culture and rituals of the Hell's Angels are painted so, so well in "No Angel."

Before their first ride with the Angels, Dobyns and the other undercover agents are nervous. Wouldn't you be? They met in a parking lot and tried to put on their game faces; tough, rough and gutsy. Yet, that true fear was hard to shake.

Finally, one of the agents repeated a phrase that stuck: JHAP.

This acronym was tattooed on their bodies, on their patches, bikes-everywhere. What's it stand for? I'm not repeating it here, but suffice to say it's a phrase that basically says: man up.

I totally dig this. Not the phrase, per sey, but just the idea they have a rallying quote that they say outloud and silently when they need to get a job done. I've adopted this phrase into my own internal repotoire.

Whatever your phrase is, internal or something you share, it's really powerful to have a saying that helps you move forward. Your own personalized slogan...what is yours?

Learning Something For A Different Purpose

2010-01-08T09:52:00.002-05:00

Have you ever done something to prepare for an event, a situation, etc.? Of course, everyone has.

Now, did that prep only benefit that single event? Probably not.

Let's look at an example or two...

Your class reunion is coming up. Three months before it happens, you get a gym membership, start hitting the treadmill, pumping iron, getting buff. The reunion rolls around and you look awesome! But was there also another benefit besides asthetics? Absolutely!

If you've read "After This...", you may remember tales of my workouts at college before the crash that took my sight. I was truly at the best physical shape I'd ever been in. Bench pressing 350 lbs., eating healthy, tons of strength training-literally. Why was I doing this? Again, asthetics. There were way too many hotties around campus to be as heavy as I was. I wanted to drop the weight and get fit so I could attract the attention of said hotties.

But was there a higher purpose for my working out? That depends on how much you believe in a force that is greater than mere humanity. One physician in the E.R. told my parents, "Your son is strong as a bull and he's going to be okay." Was I strong as a bull? Yes. And why? B/C I wanted to get me some chicks...but that desire ultimately saved my life.

Flash forward to present day:

Last night, we burned the midnight oil working on a new project. Not sayying too much about this until it comes to fruition, but think short film.

Several years ago, my wife, Marvelyne, was going through some tough times. She wanted to create more positive, creative energy in her life, have good connections and work on something she loves. So, she joined a screenwriter's group. They studied the different ways scripts for screenplays are written, the various formats, dialogue, wrapping up character development into a short time span, etc. In the back of her mind, she's had an idea for a screenplay for years. In addition to the creativity generated by the group, Marvelyne also wanted to see her idea become a reality.

Well, we spent all day yesterday cranking through the script of a short screenplay we hope to get produced in the next couple months. And why could we do this task in a single day? B/c Marvelyne's knowledge of how to do a script.

All those meetings in the bookstore with other screenwriters, all the research of watching movies to see how they're structured, all the hours spent in collaboration on different screenplay projects-those were what made this project move so smoothly.

When you're preparing for something, keep in mind there may be benefits you aren't even thinking about!

Man, I love Buddhists!

2010-01-07T22:12:00.002-05:00

Part of my overall desire to continually improve myself and my life is kicking into high gear as of late. Maybe it's the new year, or maybe it's just time for it, but I've been working a lot more on my eastern philosophy. Not that I'm really doing that much besides reading and trying to meditate a few minutes per day, but, as the proverb says: A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

Last night, ran across a Buddhist proverb about happiness. Any really deep philosophical stuff can get weighed down in verbage...which is why I love these little one liners. Here's last night's that I'm trying to incorporate into life:

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

So, I am! And if this is helpful to you, thank a Buddhist!

They Truly Believe It

2010-01-06T12:32:00.002-05:00

Caught an NPR interview yesterday with John Oliver, a correspondent for Comedy Central's "The Daily Show."

Up front disclaimer: "The Daily Show" is something I'll watch for a few minutes if it's on, but I don't go seek it out. Some may assume I'm not an avid fan due to the left leaning philosophy of the show. Negative. I just rarely turn on Comedy Central unless I'm watching "South Park." Simple as that.

Anyway, John Oliver was being interviewed about some of the correspondent duties he's performed "in the field." Keep in mind this is comedy and satire and shouldn't be taken too seriously-but it's always pretty entertaining.

As with most everything in comedy, the truest moments of hilarity are found in the extremes. And extremes and politics just go hand in hand. Sad, but true.

Oliver was commenting on his days spent covering the Tea Parties that have popped up in the last couple years. And, it was funny-and a bit disturbing.

Back in my sociology classes at Missouri State University (specifically, Social Movements taught by Dr. Gary Brock), we discussed how a group of moderately like minded individuals get together and the common set of beliefs becomes more fundamental. For example, if you go to a gathering of religious folks, the common tiemelds the people together. When they meld, they also become more staunch in their beliefs. At some point, you may actually see people trying to outdo one another by proving their beliefs are so strong. Like two Trekkies trying to prove their pedigree by seeing who knows more Captain Kirk trivia.

Olivver commented on this phenomenon by sharing his experiences at the Tea Parties. Paraphrasing here, but he talked about one person dressed in Colonial garb who kept spewing venom about President Obama and how he's a Muslim and welcoming terrorists into America. An extreme belief? Certainly...but this Paul Revere wannabe truly believes it.

Oliver gave different belief systems he's witnessed. Both liberal AND conservative, he talked about how interesting it is to see the fervor and fundamentalism of others' beliefs.

Some aspects of the Tea Parties I totally agree with. Some aspects of the events held by America's liberals I agree with. However, I don't ever want to attend any such rally because I WANT to keep perspective. I want to stay moderate. I want to always be open to the ideas and viewpoints of others. As soon as one steps into one of these rallies, my belief is that they lose perspective. Not unlike getting caught up in the excitement of a big party, I want my political and social leanings to always be able to have the ability to take a step back, take a good look at all aspects, THEN determine which elements fit within my belief system.

Do What You Do Best

2010-01-04T17:49:00.002-05:00

If you've been keeping up with me on Facebook, you might recall I'm in the process of finishing up the writing of "The Other End Of The Stethoscope #2: 33 More Insights For Excellent Patient Care."

If you've never written a book, it may be hard to understand what a colossal pain in the butt it is to write a book. Every author and writer has their own way of doing things. Here's mine:

First, crank through the rough draft as quick as possible. Typeos, incorrect grammar, incomplete sentences, who cares? I just get it out of my head and onto my hard drive.

Second step: self editing. I go back through every line, trying to clean it up, make it flow more smoothly and to re-read it with a different pair of eyes (or, in my case, ears.)

Then, I pass it off to a professional. Third step? My lovely wife, Marvelyne. We fell in love sometime while she was editing "After This..." and my first "Stetho" book, and even though we now share an address, she's not afraid to tell me, "Marc, this sucks." To which I usually give a big groan and tell her to have her way with it. THAT, faithful reader, is key...

I'm now in stage #2, self editing. And what do I know? I'm no editor. Not even close. This is why, in 2010, I want to continue to live a truth I already know: Do what you do best...and let others do what THEY do best.

No one can write my chapters, books, Ensights and blogs for me. But, I can't write a book by myself. There's just too many aspects of creating a book that are too important to trust to me alone. Hence, this is where an editor (or, in my case, wife) comes in.

Writers must, MUST trust their editors. The editor's whole job is to edit. That is often thought of as proofreading. And that's part of it, but a pretty small part of it. In actuality, a spellcheck program is probably better than the human eye for proofing. The editor, however, helps massage the words to have the correct impact on the reader. By the time my editor/wife starts to do this, I'm pretty well burnt out on the book in general. So, I need her fresh eyes to create something better out of something (hopefully) good.

This year, make a committment to do what you do best...and to let others take on the tasks where they excel. Everyone ends up much happier this way!

Happy New Years!

2010-01-03T17:51:00.002-05:00

Well, it's three days into 2010 and I'm already behind on one of this year's resolutions. Shocking, I know.

As with the last several years, I've always had the goal to blog daily. To hit that 365 blogs posted by Dec. 31 is always what I'm shooting for...and over the four plus years of blogging, it's a goal I've only hit once. But this year, I'm going to give it the ol' college try once again, so here goes!

My stepson, Jordan, is a notoriously bad texter. Half the time he and I chit chat by text, I have to write back: "What?" Either he's just bad at spelling or trying to type too fast or doing it under his desk while the professor lectures, it usually comes through as some garbeldy gook I need a magic decoder ring to translate.

So, a few minutes after midnight on Jan. 1, a text popped up from Jordan. It read: Happy New Years!

While there's nothing in here to make spellcheck get all whacked out, I'm pretty sure he meant to repeat the new year greeting as it's intended. That is, in the singular form: Happy new year.

But, why not plural? Why can't we wish one another multiple years of happiness?

The old addage: Today is the first day of the rest of your life...any different than happy new years?

Both look forward to the future. Both are showing a desire for others to celebrate in the joy and happiness of life. And, whether it's from Jordan's text message, or just because we've got only one chance to go around on this big blue sphere in the heavens, I'm taking advantage of it.

So, happy new years to you, faithful blog reader...I promise more reading pleasure in 2010!

Children’s Hospital Association of Texas (CHAT)

2009-10-12T20:41:00.001-04:00

Friday, October 9th. No better way to recognize the 16 year anniversary of the loss of my sight than to help the profession that helped me to recover. The Childrens Hospital Association of Texas is comprised of nurses and hospital representatives from hospitals specializing in pediatrics across the great state of Texas. Hey, you never have to twist my arm to go to Texas, but this was especially cool!

On the Corpus Christi Bay, with salty winds and muggy air, I met some fine, fine nurses who have such passion for helping young people. At the top of this list is Dee Evans, my client, contact and now friend! Couldn't ask for a finer person to work with and I'm trying hard to schedule some time to get to her hospital and observe the great work they do!

And, you'd think at a conference about children’s hospitals, there'd be some kids...but one of my favorite new acquaintances wasn't a kid at all, but Dee's mom! So much fun getting to know the relations of my clients!

Metro State University

2009-10-12T20:40:00.002-04:00

On Tuesday, Oct. 6, Metro State University in St. Paul, MN held an awareness event for Disability Awareness Month. Not only was yours truly an honored guest, but I got to share the stage with Minnesota Secretary of State, Mark Ritchie (the kind of guy I wish I could vote for, but that would mean having to live through Minnesota winters!)

Special thanks to Mary Bailey-Bustos and Stephanie for all the help logistically, for being so darned entertaining and welcoming for we out of towners!

Shriners Membership Seminar

2009-10-12T20:29:00.003-04:00

On Oct. 3, I got to live out a dream: a presentation for my fellow Shrine Nobles. The annual Shrine Membership Seminar gives Shriners and Masons the skills, tools and motivation to help increase membership in our fraternity. And why is that important? To help insure the financial viability and future support of the Shriners Hospitals for Children. I was honored to share the stage with Tony Dungee and, best of all, my favorite Shriners kid, Leigh Dittman. I'll write more about Leigh later, but I promise you this is one of the coolest kids you'll ever meet – and Carson loves her, too!

Special thanks to Imperial Sir Gary Bergenske and Imperial Potentate Jack Jones for the opportunity to help inspire and motivate our brethren!

Upstate Schools!

2009-09-20T16:53:00.001-04:00

This week was filled with programs in one of my favorite places: the upstate of South Carolina! Tuesday was a marathon day with four programs: Palmetto High, Wren High, Wren High's SADD club and then a parent program for Anderson District One. Thanks to Dr. Mason Gary at Palmetto High for allowing me to speak to the Palmetto High student body! This was one awesome program! Thanks to Robbie Benneker at Wren High School for the opportunity to speak to all 1700 Wren High students! Tons of FaceBook friends from both Wren and Palmetto-and thank you to all the parents who came out in the evening to discuss how we can have better relationships with our kids and help them make healthy and safe choices. Special thanks to Leigh Colombo for helping arrange these programs – you rock! v

Anderson University

2009-09-20T16:42:00.001-04:00

Wednesday and Thursday found me at Anderson University in Anderson, SC-and what a fantastic time this was! Anderson's Wednesday morning chapel service and then an evening program for Anderson's NCAA student athletes! A very special thank you to all those who came out for the Wed. evening program who weren't under any obligation, but who just wanted to hear more! Again, a special thank you to Leigh Colombo for helping get these programs arranged, funded and for just making them so much fun!

Thursday, I was a guest presenter for the Anderson area Drive Smart Coalition; a group of individuals and institutions concerned with eliminating needless fatalities in the Anderson area. Once again, special thanks to Leigh Colombo for helping make this happen and everyone in the area should give a big thank you hug to Leigh for helping touch the lives of over 20,000 students in the Anderson area!

“Liquor-Cycles"

2009-09-20T16:16:00.001-04:00

This past week while I was in South Carolina, I learned about a trend in the SC drunk driving field: liquor-cycles.

In South Carolina, if an individual gets a certain number of DUIs, he/ she will lose their license to operate a motor vehicle. However, if the vehicle is under a certain horsepower, it's not considered a motor vehicle. Scooters, Vespas, etc. are allowed for DUI offenders who are no longer allowed to drive a real car or truck.

On one hand, I like this notion. And truthfully, I'm kinda surprised so many people actually choose to drive their Vespas and stay within the law.

However, no matter if someone has a driver's license or not, he/she can still jump in a car, turn the ignition and drive down the road. If a convicted drunk driver is staying within the law and not operating a car, that reduces the risks for the general public from habitual DUI offenders.

However, isn't there a better way to keep habitual drunks from driving? Yes, yes there is. And that is by the use of modern technology. With as many Americans as get DUIs and get their licenses taken away, it puts a dent in the American work force. Wouldn't it be a better way for us to use technology that allows a driver to operate a vehicle when they're sober, but not when they're drunk?

Not just the ignition-lock breathalyzers, but the use of intoxicant detecting sensors on the steering wheel. And lasers on a rearview that can see if the driver has been drinking. True, this may take a bite out of the liquor-cycle market, but so what?

Let's embrace modern technology to keep our streets safe and our lives guarded, instead of just trying to circumvent the problem by putting drunks on different vehicles.

Mexico High and Middle Schools... Mexico, MO

2009-09-13T20:11:00.001-04:00

Wednesday, Sept. 9 found yours truly back in his old stompin' grounds: Mexico, Missouri. It's been nearly a decade since I've been to Mexico, and a lot longer than that since I was getting my butt kicked by some Mexico Bulldogs defensive lineman, but this time going back to Mexico High was a lot less painful!

Thanks to all the high and middle schoolers for being such an awesome audience, for insightful questions and for accepting me into your school!

Special thanks to Melanie Richter and Susan Gheens for being such great hostesses! Also, thanks to the high and middle school teachers who stopped by after school at the faculty program – I'm so thankful there are teachers like you in the world!

And, even though I've already said it, my gratitude to Susan Gheens is just so vast... for being my very own English teacher when I was 15, and then the head of the school play when I was a senior. Some of my most treasured memories include you, Susan, and I'm so glad we've reconnected! Thanks for some awesome chimichaungas, too (I know I probably spelled that wrong... blame it on my poor English skills!)

Central Florida Health Educators

2009-09-13T20:09:00.002-04:00

Okay, so this was just such a fun program! Sept. 11, I was honored to present for the Central Florida Health Educators in Daytona, FL. This is a group of professors, nurse educators, etc. etc. etc. who instruct any and all students into the world of health care. Plus, it was the first time I've ever presented with a mannequin laying behind me on stage!

Special thanks to Leilani Bautista-Keene and Linda Misko for being such fantastic hostesses! We filmed this program for my upcoming health care promo video and Leilani and Linda did an awesome job of finding just the right educators to interview for their feedback on my program! Thank you!

"DeSales University...Fourpeat!"

2009-09-07T20:03:00.001-04:00

For the fourth year running, I was honored to speak at DeSales University in Center Valley, PA for the Character U. program. There is no finer group of people to work with than Wendy Krisak, Dr. Gregg Amore and Chad Serfass... people who, over the last few years, also become good friends.

Thanks to the class of 2013 for being such a fantastic audience and for allowing me to be one of the initial parts of your college experience! Best of luck for the fall term!

Out on the road

2009-09-07T09:23:00.001-04:00

I'll be out of E mail and all net communications until Friday, Sept. 11. If you need to reach me, call the number on MarcusEngel.com Thanks!

Go Hoosiers!

2009-08-31T13:18:00.002-04:00

What do you get when you put 3200 Hoosiers and one Marcus in the same room? Fun, that's what!

Indiana University's Culture Fest is a huge component of the freshman Welcome Week experience - and an opportunity for students to learn the value and excitement of diversity. So, what's a small town white boy from Missouri doing talking about different cultures? A lot, actually!

See, as we discussed at Culture Fest, everyone has a story. And every story has a message behind it. IU freshmen learned my story and, hopefully, that gives a little inspiration to share their stories-and to learn from those of others.

Special thanks to Melanie Payne, Patrick Hale, Tyler Coward and Kaley for being such awesome hosts! Oh, and to Melanie for running around Culture Fest loading me up on ethnic food – yummy! Thanks for all the FaceBook sign ups and awesome comments, too-totally makes my day to know I'll be remembered at IU!

Go Hoosiers!

Filming at Florida Gulf Coast University

2009-08-19T13:33:00.001-04:00

On Tuesday, Aug. 18, I was honored to be the victim survivor representative of an anti-DUI video program conducted at Florida Gulf Coast University in Fort Myers, FL. The program, sponsored by a personal injury law firm in Fort Myers, focused on the legal ramifications of DUI as it relates to personal injury, crime and the aftermath. Special thanks to Gary Firestone for conducting the program, and to Becky and Brenda from MADD and the Lee County Sheriff's Department. You all do great work!

New Student Success Video!

2009-08-16T19:48:00.002-04:00

Well, it's finally here! My new YouTube video to help students (especially students with disabilities) achieve success in college.

Some of the info contained in the video is from personal experience, some comes from the orientation programs at different universities, and some is advice disability services professionals wish their students would know! Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JAlCpkMNSU

This video is for anyone who may gain valueable info...so feel free to pass it along! Thanks!

Relationship Based Care Symposium

2009-08-10T17:23:00.002-04:00

On July 31, I had an almost surreal experience. See, for years, I've been touting the benefits of insights and strategies for excellent patient care. I want to promote the fantastic care I’ve received, and teach other health care pros how to give their patients as much dignity and independence as the hospital can bring!

Creative Health Care Management: http://www.chcm.com/

Is an organization with this mission... and more! CHCM created the first national Relationship Based Care Symposium which was held outside Syracuse, NY in late July. I was one of the keynote speakers for the event, along with Stephen Covey and the author of "Kitchen Table Wisdom." (Quite an honor to be asked to speak alongside two such professionals!)

Relationship Based Care Symposium highlighted changing the dynamics and culture of health care institutions to promote relationships-with everyone! Caregiver to patient, patient to housekeeping, housekeeping to pharmacy, pharmacy to maintenance, purchasing to techs – anyone and everyone under the canopy of the hospital is in relationship with others. It's a huge undertaking to create this culture, but it gets things done in a more nurturing, compassionate environment! Just wonderful!

I'd like to say a personal thank you to Jayne Felgen, CHCM's president, Mary Kalaroutis, Donna Wright, Susan Edstrom, Sue Welliver, Chris Bjork and Gen Gwancie (sorry, Gen, I probably misspelled your last name!)

Such a fantastic experience to work with a group of folks who are so committed to such a worthy cause! Thank you, CHCM, and all the attendees of the Relationship Based Care Symposium!