Well, How'd I Do?

January 1, 2007, the first blog post of the year had my blog resolutions. I remember these, but went back to check that post-just to be sure.

First, I resolved to blog every day. Nothing is more frustrating than a good blog that is rarely updated. II'm not arrogant enough to call my blog "good", but when I read some of the crap blogs out there, I do see some things I'm doing right! So, did I do it? Nope. Not every day.

There was a time in July wheen I was out of the country for five days on my honeymoon. There were also days on end when I had very limited net access. I don't think there was a time(at least, not too many) where I went more than three consecutive days without a post. And this post, the one you're reading right now? It is #365 for the year. Maybe I didn't blog every day, but I DID end up with 365 blog posts. Not bad, if I do say so myself!

Second, I promised I'd put a new quote for the blog heading every month. Did I do this? 11 out of 12 times, yes. Unfortunately, the Simon and Garfunkel quote that now adornes the blog heading has been there since November 1. It's been a lot of fun finding cool quotes that sum up my mindset at the time. Springsteen, Dylan, Buffett, Robert Earl Keen and a few true blue literary greats(Hemingway and the like) have shown, in short phrases, a few new things.

Pictures. Never forget that your faithful blogger is a blind guy with a digital camera. Were there more pics in 2007 than 2006? Yep, by a long shot. And about 100 additional posts. Still, I want to bump up the visual element for those of you who DO get excited by pics.

Relevant issues? I think so. Granted, I'm no current affairs commentator nor do I claim to be. I don't even WANT to be. I do, however, observe a lot that goes on in the world and blog about it. Whether it's the world at large, or my personal life, I always want to blog things that are actually interesting and helpful. I pledge I'll do that same thing in 08.

So, overall? I give myself a B plus for the year of blogging. Not the content, but how well I kept the blog updated and stayed true to my goals. More in 08? More of the same...I promise!

Happy New Year!

When Do Resolutions Start?

So, made your list of resolutions? When do they kick in?

See, if you're like me(or pretty much every other American out there), we try to lie to ourselves. The New Year starts exactly at midnight. When the big apple drops(if you're on east coast time), THAT is when resolutions need to kick in.

About 10 years back, my good buddy, Mike, made the resolution to quit smoking in the new year.Come to think of it, many of the guys in our little group made this same resolution. That night, while partying in the new year, the clock struck 12 and Mike was done with that habit forever. Other people, though, said they'd finish out the night. After all, this was still New Year's Eve until the next morning when everyone wakes up, right? Uh, yeah, if you're the type who lives in denial.

Or what about the age old lie about starting Jan. 2. I mean, really, hangovers, bellies full of food from the previous night, lethargic day in front of bowl games...it's almost un-American to miss football on New Year's Day, right? So, I'll just start tomorrow...wrong! Don't be that guy!

If you're making a resolution to start with the new year, make it start with the new year! Here's to your valiant efforts!

My Favorite 2007 Schtuff

As if anyone really cares, but this year had some great pop culture highlights! Here goes:

Favorite movie: Super Bad
Favorite TV show: Nip Tuck, but The O'Reilly Factor will always run a close 2nd!
Favorite Travel Destination: Cancun on our honeymoon. If you're looking for a great place to get away, The Excellence at Riviera Maya is a winner!
Favorite restaurant: Virgil's off of Times Square. BBQ in NYC? Awwww yeah!

Favorite new album: Springsteen's Live in Dublin
Favorite live show: Springsteen at Madison Square Garden
Favorite Non-Fiction book: Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy by Dr. Mike Bradley
Favorite Fiction book: Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld, A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
Favorite New Restaurant: Bobbalou's Bodacious BBQ, Orlando, FL
Favorite News Story: Miracle in Missouri, Jan. 2007
Favorite $100 expenditure: Donation to Mary Grove Home, STL
Favorite New Toy: Espresso/cappuccino maker

For 08, I hope I can think of these things in the moment, realize that, "Hey, this is my favorite XYZ" of the year...hold me to that, K?

2007 In Review

Wow. Just wow. 2007 has been one heck of a ride! I always love reflecting over the past 12 months..."Yeesh, I forgot about that!" or "Man, I'm glad that's over"...those kinds of comments seem to fall from my teeth at times like this. So, let's take a stroll down 2007 Lane, shall we?

January-Still living in St. Louis, but rang in the new year in Orlando with my then girlfriend, now wife. We talked about what we want 2007 to look like; my move to FL, our marriage, a new home, business picking up, and, above all, creating a positive and meaningful life together. A trip up to Baltimore to speak for the Intl. Association of Assistance Dog Partners(not one bark the whole time!) and a few trips back and forth to STL. Remember that whole "Miracle in Missouri" thing? A kid who'd been missing for five years was found(with another kid missing for about a week) at an apartment complex about two miles from my former front door. One of the most touching stories of the year...

February: Speaking at colleges in NC and Fort Lauderdale kept the month busy with business. But don't discount a trip or two back in preparation to make the big move.

March: March 3 was the big day. I popped the question to Marvelyne and, wonder of all wonders, she accepted! The rest of the month was kind of a blur from happiness!

April: Bought our house in Orlando, sold my house in St. Louis and turned over all my earthly possessions to the care of a couple of ex-con movers. Thankfully, all the stuff arrived safely and no one died. With these major life stressors out of the way, it was time to get on with life!

May: Celebrated my 32nd birthday with my new family here in Orlando. Moving in, getting settled, starting life!

June: Wedding prep galore! Anything else? All I remember is wedding prep! If you've ever planned a wedding, you know how all encompassing this can be!

July: July 1, Marvelyne and I slipped rings on one another's fingers and took our vows.. Who knew this level of happiness could exist? Honeymoon in Cancun, enjoying newlywed life!

August: Back to school, back to business, but all with the happy glow of marriage!

September: A trip to speak at DeSales University and hang with my pals there! Always a good time! A surprise party for my best bud, DJ, and a family reunion back in MO.

October: My busiest travel month of the year. Where did I go? I don't remember! West coast, east coast, everything in between. Topped off the month by falling off a four foot embankment and severely spraining my right ankle. Yikes!

November: Went to Miami to speak for my brother in law's church AND to get acquainted with the family into which I'd just married. A fabulous Thanksgiving with my new family and seeing "I'm Not There"; the Bob Dylan art film. If you are a fan, run, don't walk to see it!

December: Celebrating my bride's birthday when she was, in fact, my wife! Trips around the country and waltzing into the Christmas season with a week long visit from my parents.

And now? Reflecting back on the year and smiling. Is there any better way to end a year? Here's to smiles and memories for 08!

Measuring Life With Dogs

This past summer, I read my first T.C. Boyle novel, "Drop City." Absolutely loved it and ever since, I've been so stoked about jumping into another. Finally started one!

"After The Plague" is a collection of Boyle's short stories. All are written in his incredibly descriptive style, and all are a little edgy in their content-right up my alley!

In one story, a middle aged drunkard trips in his back yard. His drunken middle aged wife, after several hours of him being gone, heads out into the darkness of the yard to look for him. And trips her drunk butt over him. Now, two incapacitated drunks laying in the backyard, hardly anyone around and these two bozos are totally without help, save for their family dog(who ain't exactly of Lassie's quality, if ya know what I'm saying).

The man, knowing his life could be over if help doesn't arrive, is reflecting on this dog, and it's predecessor, another hound by the same name. He thinks, "You measure your life by good dogs. If you're lucky, you'll have five or six of 'em."

Ya know, he's not all that far off. Some people measure their lot in life by their home, their car, their children, their spouses, etc. This guy chooses by dogs. As man's best friend, it seems a pretty good measuring stick. And he's right... if you have five or six great dogs in life, consider yourself lucky.

The Better Way To Spend A Week In Winter

If you've glimpsed any 24 hour news source over the last month, chances are you saw lots of airport delays, citizen deaths, power outages, all due to ice and bad winter weather. I, for one, am glad that the winter of 07 mainly found me sitting in 70 plus degree temps in Florida.

Still, that makes it difficult when there are family times like, oh, Christmas. Since it was important for the family in this home to spend our first Christmas just being together, that meant no trip to see the family I've known for my 32 years on earth.

This parting was eased because my parents, Phil and Nancy Engel, came down for a visit last week. Instead of being holed up inside a house while a winter storm raged outside, the week before Christmas was spent lounging around my back porch, having coffee, that sorta stuff.

I hope you're as fortunate as I am to have such great parents who go out of their way to be accommodating. They've helped me realize my biggest resolution for 08 should be to be a little more like my folks.

An Angel In The Post Office

So, it's the day after Christmas. This brings out the eternal penny pincher in me. Thus, I'm purusing craigslist and looking for people who might have gotten, oh, say a new Sirius radio they don't want. I hope this person may then post it on CL for, oh, say, a dollar. Then, my cheapskate self can get one! But alas, I found nothing I wanted and started looking at the Best of CL section.

For non-CLers, the "Best Of..." section truly is. Usually, it's someone writing an especially funny rant at a driver who cut them off in traffic, or a persoal ad with wistful bewilderment at lack of options, that sorta stuff. Today, though, I found the following. Try to get through it without getting teary. Go on! I dare you! Merry belated Christmas, friends!

AN ANGEL IN THE POST OFFICE------------------------------------------------------------

This is one of the kindest things I've ever experienced. I have no way to know who sent it, but there is a kind soul working in the dead letter office
of the US postal service. Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about
how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought
we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God, Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her
as my dog even though she got sick. I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you
see her you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.

Love, Meredith.

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted
several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped
it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was
a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies.' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite
page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away. Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me
just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in,
so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by. Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank
your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every
day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I am wherever there is love.

Love,
God

Describing Emotions

In high school, one of the biggest life shapers was my involvement with the Youth Cabinet for the Missouri Conference of the United Church of Christ. Youth Cabinet was a group of about 20 high schoolers who helped plan and execute youth programming for teens all over the state. Lock ins, dance marathons, camp retreats, you name it, if it was a healthy and fun thing, we'd try it!

These events gave me an enormous amount of friends, freedom to be myself in a way which was more difficult in the "real world", and relationships I still, to this day, cherish.

However, if you'd have asked Marcus at 16, "Why do you like these church youth events?" that kid could have only said, "They're cool! They're really fun!"

What that young man couldn't put into words was how he felt accepted after he cried in front of friends after leaving a four day retreat. What he couldn't describe was the emotionally healthy and positive friendships that seemed to come much easier when in a group of like-minded youth.What he/I couldn't put into words was being challenged intellectually while, at the same time, having lots of teenage fun. Can I describe those things now? Yes, but not nearly to the level I'd like.

Why? Because emotional experiences are difficult to describe. That feeling in the heart and soul isn't nearly as powerful when one puts it down on paper. At least, it's not unless your name is Whitman, Thoreau, Maya Angelou, or many of the other great writers. I sure as shootin' don't put me there,but I hope these few years of experience in literature give me some tools to help.

Yesterday at Christmas dinner, I listened to several relatives describing emotional events. One was of a television program they watched, one was of a European vacation, one was a child describing her favorite Christmas gift. Other than the tones of intensity at story time, the true emotions they had were lost. Why? Because emotional experiences, sometimes, are solitary.

You can't know what it was like to be me in 1990 at a youth event unless I write really, really well. And even then, I doubt the truth of that experience can come through. Nor can I know how excited you were at (choose your experience).

The best thing I've found is simply to try, just try, to listen, absorb and understand why an experience holds so much emotion for that person. You probably won't achieve this, but the more you try, the more that individual will know his/her words do not fall on deaf ears.

Looters-19th Century Style

I got sucked into a History special last night. Lincoln's assasination is fascinating in and of itself, but this studied the elements of the 12 day manhunt for John Wilkes Booth.

Obviously, though, before there was a manhunt, there was a murder. In the days before text messages, E mail and phone lines, people would just gather on the street corner to hear the latest news. Can you imagine how inaccurate their news had to be? It'd make today's bias in media look like child's play!

After Lincoln was shot at Ford's Theater, he was carried across the street to a boarding house to live out his last hours. Outside the boarding house, a crowd had gathered to get reports of his condition. From the first BANG of the assassin's gun, they knew the bullett would be fatal-it was just a questionn of how long the President could hold onto life. That turned out to be less than 12 hours.

As the crowd outside Lincoln's makeshift hospital received the news the President had expired, they began tearing planks off the building, grabbing any momento they could find. Morbid? Yes...and not so different than what we saw going on in New Orleans two years ago.

Is there anything lower than a looter? Looting seems the most dispicable form of human behavior. Looters take advantage of a bad situation to better their own existence through underhanded means. Whether it was jusst getting a souvenier off the house where Lincoln died, or it was the citizens of N'Orleans stealing televisions from their friends and neighbors, still, looting is just pathetic behavior.

About the only thing lower is stealing from a family while they're at a funeral. Some thieves will comb the paper for obits, find out when the person's burial service is held and, conveniently, show up at their home to steal stuff while the family mourns. Awful.

A layman's idea is that looting isn't something we only see in the emergencies of modern day America. I'm sure there are more examples throughout history, but this showed just how ridiculous people can behave in the time of tragedy.

When tragedy strikes, there are two types of people who emerge: those who step up to the challenge to hellp fix it, and those who stick their head in the sand. Which are you?

The Best Part of Christmas 2007

I have a lot to be excited about this Christmas.

I have a great wife, some awesome new step kids that came with that great wife, a beautiful home in a warm climate, a wonderful extended family, a rewarding career, financial security, friends galore, an exciting life and, most of all, the citizenship in a country that allows and encourages me to have the best life possible.

It's because of things like this that I truly want to help others. Call me crazy, but when I have plenty, I want to share that plenty with others.

A couple of years ago, I was invited by my buddy, Dave Becker, to do a pro bono speech for some special kids. Dave is a social worker at a home for abandoned and abused kids in STL called Mary Grove. Folks, I did the informal program for these kids and left a changed man.

Why? Because kids who live these lives have nothing. I mean nothing. What's worse is the nothing they have includes family, love and support.

Imagine if you will that tomorrow, you get a promotion in your job. Who's the first person you call? Or that you won a vacation to Cancun? Who do you take? Or that you accomplished something like another degree-who do you celebrate with? For these kids, the answer is: no one.

Worse, what family these kids once had is tainted with drug abuse, sexual, physical and emotional abuse, poverty, neglect - you name it, they've seen it. That is, except things that are good.

Becker sent out a plea via E mail to his buds a few weeks ago. In essence, it said, "Guys, I know we all have families and money can be tight. The current economic market doesn't make it any easier. But you know the kids I work with and they have no one to give them gifts. If you can scrape together a few bucks, I'll make sure it goes to some kids who can really use it."

How can anyone turn down a request like that? Having met these kids(and many others in similar situations), I couldn't. I consulted my wife, got out the checkbook and sent Dave a check that day.

I don't want recognition for this. I don't do charity work for recognition. I do it because it's just the right thing to do. And financially, I'm fortunate. That's the easiest way for me to help. So, I did.

Here's the reply I got from Dave:

Marcus, I have to say when I opened your check, I was amazed by the amount. Thank you. I thought of something that you could tell your family on Christmas Day that may let them know how lucky they are. Your gift allowed the following things: 4 Bath & Body kits for teenage girls (your wife will know what that is), 3 CD players, 7 DVDs, 2 Drawing kits for two autistic kids. I have learned how to stretch a dollar. Some of the other things that it could buy are, 28 meals for one child, Enough school supplies for an entire year, 6 months worth of clothing, Shelter for one day, 5 therapy sessions... there is a whole lot more but I think you get the point. Thanks again, and you are the man. My staff really appreciate it and they do know where it came from. Have fun with your new family at Christmas. Becker

Folks, this massive amount? $100.
That is just 20% the price of a new Nintendo game system. In reality, to those of us in America with a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs, it's just a little more than pocket change.

So many non-for-profits get a bad rep for how they handle money. Not all, but there are many where a significant portion of one's donation goes for administrative expenses. I knew when sending Dave a check, this would not be the case.

Again, I do charity because it's the right thing to do. What will keep me doing charity is the message Dave sent back. Knowing where every dollar goes makes me want to do even more. So, next year, Dave's young people will get a bigger check.

If you, too, want to help out some young people with rough lives, get in contact with me and I'll put you in touch with Dave. Thanks, Becker, for giving me the opportunity to help out some others this Christmas season.

I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas

Know that goofy song? Ranking up there with "Merry Christmas From The Family" and "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" and Eric Cartman singing, "Swiss Colony Beef Log", the hippo song says, "Screw the heartwarming-let's go for the hilarious!"

Anywho, I digress.

Do you really know anyone who'd want a hippopotamus? Those things have to leave poop piles the size of garbage cans! Yeesh!

While watching Fox and Friends this week, Steve Deusy(sp?) said at the top of his wish list wasn't a hippo, but a hiefer.For those of you not familiar with the technical terms of cows dependant on their sex, yes, a heifer is a cow.

Since Fox is filmed in New York City, no, Steve wasn't saying he wanted his very own cow. He did, however, say, "I don't like to have a lot of money spent on me at the holidays. So, I asked my family to use the money for my gift and donate a heifer through Heifer Project, International."

He's referring to a chairitable org which donates milk producing cows to poor villages in the most poverty stricken parts of the world.Not to make screw of this, but a donation like this is the gift that keeps on giving.

We all have a chairitable side, right? At least, I hope we all do. The thing is, Steve wasn't interested in sharing this with the world. As it was said on the air, it was just slipped in when his wife, who'd phoned in to talk about the human interest side of Christmas, shared his secret. Anonymous chairity is always, always the best kind.

And now, onto the best part of my Christmas holiday(see next post)

It Feeds Your Soul

Just caught a commercial for an OTC pain killer. Alleive, I think it was(and pardon me if the spelling there is whacked).

In this advert, an elderly woman is complaining about her arthritis. Nothing new there, right? After all, we've been deluged with elderly folks singing the praises of analgesics for years. But this had a little different twist.

This woman was excited about the benefits of this pain killer because it allows her to do volunteer work once again. After showing scenes of her doing chairitable work, the commercial ends with her saying, "It feeds your soul to do things for other people."

And she's right!

There have been a lot of things that have made me smile with the grin of humanity this Christmas season, but the next few posts will give you an idea of just how this is helping feed my soul. I hope it feeds yours, too.

Who's Shoes?

Strangely enough, I watched some Oprah yesterday. There was a section where audience members asked Oprah personal questions; if you had one day left on earth, where would you spend it? That sorta stuff.

One question was, "If you could walk in anyone's shoes, who would that person be and why?"

Oprah's answer was one I think we should all strive to give...

"I have a great life! I don't want to walk in anyone's shoes but my own!"

Bravo! Granted, we can't all be one of the richest women on earth, but we can all choose to be happy. We can all choose to love the life we live. We can all choose NOT to continually want more or different, unless those changes are positive and personal.

And really, I'm with Oprah on this one. I think it'd be cool to know what life is like inside the skin of different people. For one, I'd like to step inside the world of a teenage girl so I'd better know how to help my stepdaughter. For another, I think it'd be sweet to live the life of a rock star. I'd also like to experience the world from the viewpoint of a non-American, just to see what life is like outside this place we call home.

But really, I don't want anyone's life but mine. Do you?

My Hija!

In high school, I took two useless years of French. Yeah, a lot of good that's doing me now. Here in Florida, I hear Spanish several times per day - sometimes more often than English. But do I understand? Very, very little.

I have, however, been able to learn a few words. They're not real useful, but they are fun! All that aside, my favorite recently learned Spanish word is "hija."

What? You're not fluent in Spanish? Well, allow me (he with little Hispanic knowledge) to enlighten you!

Hija is Spanish for "daughter." I know this because of my Hija (notice capitalization).

See, my stepson's girlfriend, Tiffani, is my Hija. Tiffani is of Dominican heritage, fluent in Spanish and has taught me most of the espagnol I know. She's also taught me a lot about being a role model.

Hija (pronounced Ee ha) is one of the most precious human beings I've ever met. She's allowed me to step in as a father figure where previously she's had none. I don't take that privledge lightly. Maddison and Jordan (my stepkids here in the Engel/Adams household) got to accept me, but Hija/Tiff actually chose me. Hija is, hands down, one of the most impressive young people I've ever had the privledge to know. To be a surrogate dad is, well, humbling, to put it lightly.

Last night, Hija was in her high school production of, "The Window School." Sitting in the audience, I was as proud as I could be of my Hija up on stage!

Day after tomorrow, Hija hits the big 18. But, as with any kid, no matter how old she gets, she's always going to be my Hija! Happy birthday, Tiff, I love you and am so proud of you! DL-M!

You: P.I.? Or Ego-Maniac?

A new survey of over 1600 internet users found that nearly 50% admit to googling themselves. I'm surprised, frankly. The first time I ever used a search engine, it was with my own name(after all, we've gotta check up on where we've been sometimes, right?) It's strange to think that with this vast amount of info(the neet) right at our fingertips, that some people have simply never written in the edit box "insert your name here". Strange, but according to this survey, true!

The study found that those in a higher income bracket, and those over 50, were more likely to have checked their name in a search engine. Part of the reasoning is the same as why I routinely google my name: my job requires a certain amount of web presence. And with my job, the more web presence, the better!

However, a significant amount of respondants also said they'd used search engines with the names of other acquaintances. Most were to find old friends who were out of touch, but many were googling the names of their significant others. A little Magnum P.I. in all of us, eh?

I truly, truly believe there is a certain amount of narcissism within all of us. If not, MySpace and Facebook wouldn't be nearly as popular. On line communities, as well as finding newspaper reports, sports scores, etc. with our names are part of the reason why we, as a country, like to have a way we can all be a little famous. Not everyone can have their own .com(unless they're willing to pay for it), but between the multitudes of on-line communities, we can all feel like rock stars when we google our own names.

So, c'mon, remaining 53% of American net users-check yourself out! Then we egomaniacs will feel in better company!

Ezinearticles.com...Another Way To Get Marcus!"

For those who ask for old issues of The Marcus Engel Newsletter,

you can get them both on www.MarcusEngel.com and at www.EzineArticles.com.

You know how to find my stuff, but there's plenty of other great articles at EzineArticles.com.

Here's a link to the Marcus Engel Newsletter for December 2007,

but feel free to surf around for past issues and other works by writers,

both known and unknown.

http://EzineArticles.com/?id=879187 (current article)

http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Marcus_Engel (marcus' page)

When You Don't Know What To Do To Help...

Last weekend, I was having dinner with my good friends, Jim and Alice Hoette. They told me of their recent activity in helping out our deployed service men and women from afar. I asked for more information...and I'm glad I did.

Alice wrote this week with links to:

www.anysoldier.com

and

www.adoptaplatoon.org

She also sent the names of four soldiers who are stationned overseas, three in Iraq, one in Afghanistan. Each had a small bit about what the soldiers need, where they are from, a little about their mission(unless, like in the case of one soldier in Afghanistan, that info is classified) and when they're scheduled to return home.

As I read through these, I felt small. Military men and women are placed in spots around the world where no one vacations-hell, places people wouldn't go to if you paid them. But our military personell do it. I don't. And don't want to. You probably don't, either.

The military won't accept the service of overweight blind guys like me-so maybe I can do something to help out the brothers and sisters fighting the fight for us. I hope you will, too. Check the links above. I especially enjoyed looking over anysoldier.com because of the professional way the creator set it up. There, on the home page, the web surfer is asked to not do anything until they look over the entire site. It's the hope of the founders of anysoldier.com that people be educated and comfortable with their decision to help.

When Alice sent the profiles of these servicemen, there were two things that stuck out:

1. A platoon of soldiers in Iraq who, as of late November, had not received any care packages from home. Did they just arrive? Do they have families back home? Do they already have all their needs met? It doesn't freaking matter-they deserve more than we Americans back home could ever give.

2. Alice had to do a little extra legwork and go through an interview to find out about another soldier who needs our help. This gentleman is stationed in Afghanistan and lives in tents. His laundry must be done by hand, so he requested small bottles of detergent-and black clothes. Black gloves, stocking hats, sweatshirts, socks-everything black. Do you even want to imagine what life is like for someone who must, by necessity, wear all black? I don't.

Instead of running around stupidly through Wal-Mart trying to buy something useless for someone who probably doesn't need it, why not take a little time to help out the people who give us the ability to run around Wal-Mart like idiots?

It's the least we can do.

It's Officially Christmas!

The first Christmas song of the year was heard in Target about a week before Thanksgiving. Pretty sure it was an instrumental version of "O Little Town of Bethlehem"-definitely remember being happy it wasn't Feliz Navidad!

However, every year at Christmas time, I wait and wait to hear the song that, to me, says Christmas is just around the corner. This morning, I heard that song in the most unlikely of places-on my MySpace profile!

Go to MySpace.com and type in my name and you'll hear Bruce Springsteen singing, "Santa Claus is Coming To Town." Who can't love the part where he talks about Clarence being good so Santa will bring him a new saxaphone?

What's even better about this is, until I logged in, I had no idea it was there. MySpace is fairly difficult for me to navigate with my JAWS screen reader, so I turn those duties over to my incredibly talented(and beautiful) wife(who pretty much makes me always seem better and smarter than I really am!).

Unbeknownst to me, Marvelyne snuck into my MySpace profile, found the Springsteen tune and placed it as the music you listen to while viewing my profile. I knew nothing of this, which just goes to prove how well she knows me! Thanks, babe, for taking care of that, and thank you, the Engel's Ensights reader, for reading this AND the stuff on MySpace!

Enjoy The Boss and may it put you in the holiday spirit!

Well She Was Just 17....

Today happens to be the 17th birthday of my girl, Maddison!

How did I luck out and get a stepdaughter this awesome?

Karma, man... must be karma!

Happy 17th Birthday, Maddi!

Widows And Orphans

Well, after wishing my college fraternity a Happy Founder's Day on Dec. 10, today, Dec. 11 has caught my attention with another of my fraternal affiliations.

In 1999, I became the third Engel male in a direct lineage to become a member of the Masonic Lodge. This was the best decision I'd ever made...that is, up untill March 3, 2007 when I asked my now wife to spend her life with me. She accepted and I digress...

One of the focuses of the Masonic Lodge is relief. Translation? Chairity. Specifically, there is an obligation about providing chairity to widows and orphans.

Tonight, I was speaking with some friends who are having trouble keeping their 92 year old grandmother in her current assisted living. She's on a fixed income, has virtually no assetts and her husband has been deceased for a decade. Until we were discussing this woman, it'd never struck me just how alone and helpless a widow can be. Now, every individual is different, granted, but at the formation of the Masonic Lodge(some 250 years back), can you imagine how helpless the widows of yesteryear were? And that goes double for orphans!

The true measure of a man may come when he assists those with no hope of other assistance. Now, make that unisex since we're in the 21st century. The true measure of a person may be when they help the less fortunate-help that comes with absolutely zero benefit to him/herself, sans the good feeling one (hopefully) gets from doing chairitable work.

Widows, orphans, those who are homeless, the lonely neighbor next door-who will you help relieve this season?

Happy Founder's Day!

Ten years ago, I was initiated into Kappa Sigma. I was headed into my third year of college, was 22 years old and, well, not the guy most of you know now.

I was, in fact, a fairly insecure and shy guy. Okay, maybe not totally shy, but the events of the recent four previous years had somewhat strained my opinion of myself.

I'll not claim that my initiation into the fraternity changed my world 180 degrees, but it was definitely one of the major aspects tht took me from that introverted kid into the peerson I am today. Right after joining the Masonic Lodge, joining Kappa Sigma ranks as one of the best decisions I've ever made.

And yet, if it weren't for December 10, 1869 and five friends and brothers at the University of Virginia, there would be no Kappa Sigma. And if that were the case, there wouldn't be quarter of a million initiates, there would be no nationwide brotherhood and, quite possibly, the Marcus Engel you know may not exist like he does today.

Thank you, Kappa Sigma, for changing my life and for helping mold the lives of hundreds of thousands of young men. Happy Founder's Day! AEKDB

Throwing A Funeral

When I was a little schaefer(as my Dad would put it), I did a lot of stupid stunts. Jumping my bike off a rickety ramp made of plywood and bricks, working as hard as possible to get a snow tube airborn, trying to make a go cart out of a 20 year old lawn mower which, sadly, ended up tipping over on top of me after pretending it was the General Lee.

Between the Dukes of Hazzard and Evel Knievel as my examples, it's surprising I lived until puberty. Back in the late 70s and early 80s, there was no feat that wasn't attempted by the famous daredevil on a motorcycle. And now? Evel is dead.

While reading about his funeral plans on line, I was smiling. Evel's son, Kelly Knievel, said of his dad's memorial, "We're throwing a funeral!" In Butte, MT, Evel's hometown, the memorial service sounds like exactly what the stunt man would want-something non-conventional. As the coordinator said, there will be people in suits, and people in motorcycle gear-nothing is inappropriate.

THAT, my friends, is how I want to go out. With people feeling like they're celebrating the life, not the death.

Positively 4th Street

While hanging back in STL, I went to see the Bob Dylan movie, "I'm Not There" for the second time in as many weeks. hile sitting in The Tivoli theater and watching the movie, I was struck by a line from Dylan's famous song, "Positively 4th Street":

"You just want to be on the side that's winning..."

This was so interesting because of the current campaign fervor. Who'll win? With all the biting and scratching as the candidates try to claw their way to the top of the heap, I get amused when people use the word "unelectable."

A friend recently said he really likes Mike Huckabee, but won't vote for him because he doesn't have a chance of winning.

To this I say...so, do you just want to be on the side that's winning?

The whole idea of only supporting someone who may win is ridiculous. I would much rather support the candidate who most reflects my views-even if he/she does NOT have a snowball's chance in Phoenix.

Winning can really only be explored when people stick to their guns. Fairweather fans and voters need to really take a long, hard look at what they believe and make their decision on those pieces of info-not on who can make the voter a winner.

Will Writing Complaint Letters Make Me A Better Person?

Last week, we had yet more problems at our favorite local BBQ restaurant. After sitting in the drive-through line for 20 minutes, we were rewarded with a trainee who, for the second time, told us our total(this is after she'd already rang it up, we'd paid with a credit card, signed the receipt, etc.). Then, when the food finally was handed through the window, she simply turned away. No, "Sorry for your wait", "It Won't Take This Long Next Time"...not even a simple, "Thank you." So, because I love the food at this place, I wrote a complaint letter to the management.

Earlier this week, we were dining in another local restaurant. When we walked in, the strong odor of a dirty, soured mop smacked me in the head. This stench isn't foreign to the location, but this time it was stronger-and it didn't disipate as we got to our booth. Again, I love the place and want to see the problem fixed. So, I wrote another letter to this company's management.

Am I usually one to complain like this? No, not really. And I don't want to become someone who is constantly looking for something to complain about. I do expect a certain level of customer service and when that service or product is below par? I think management should be aware. That is, provided it's a pretty egregious offense(like, I'm not going to complain if the waitress takes an extra 30 seconds to fill my drink).

So, to keep from becoming a crochety old man, I've decided that every time I write a complaint letter, I need to balance that with a complimentary communication when a job is well done. Which brings me to today...

While shopping at my favorite men's clothier, I was disappointed when the sweater I ordered two weeks ago still hadn't arrived at the store. The associates got right on it and, later that afternoon, my favorite associate drove 20 miles to the nearest store to make right the mistake. And tonight, I penned a letter to the company talking about his excellent service. Plus, he just gets me. He knows I'm a bargain shopper, gives honest opinions on the items I'm looking at and remembers the past purchases in order to match them with new purchases. THAT is worthy of a letter.

When I have to be negative, I want to counterbalance that with positive insights. I do not want to get into ruts and I think this is a fabulous way for me to keep a positive mindset in the retail arena. Will it work for you? Why not try it?!

Think We've Got Problems?

Ya know, there's so much political banter going around that it just makes my head spin. Flip on the tube and within a half hour, you'll hear someone new(usually some dingbat celebrity) talking about how bad off our country is. No one will dispute we have some major issues in the life of our country at this snippet of time. War being first, but then growing discontent with government has to be a close second. Throw in the shrinking middle class, immigration and the usual hot button topics of each side and, well, is your head spinning just from reading this?

I just finished one of the longest hours of my life. Surgery? Being told of loss? Watching someone I love die? Nah-helping my 16 year old with an American history report on Reconstruction.

First off, I've forgotten just how difficult high school probably is. Granted, I was an underacheiver(and proud of it, man) back in the day, but this kind of stuff just had some elements that have to be quite difficult for a 16 year old to comprehend. And of course, she's a teen . Stuff that happened 150 years ago is about as useful as canvas and paint to me.

Man, Reconstruction. What a horrid, horrid time in our past. I walked away saying, yeah, America has problems now, sure. But our problems aren't even a fraction of those they had in the 1860s and 70s. God knows how Lincoln survived it, really. The destruction of the union, the burning of half the country, the hatred over slavery, the formation of the Klan, disagreements everywhere and all with a population that was, at most, about 20% literate. How could one man even think governing a country like this would be possible? But, apparently we're still here.

Either way, this report just put it all back into perspective. We've got problems, but they aren't problems like we've been through already. THOSE are the ones we should look back on with pride-we survived that and we'll survive this.

What's In The Mist?

Went to a late night showing of "The Mist" last night. Since I loved Stephen King's short story in, "Skeleton Crew", I figured the movie would be pretty enjoyable, too.

Quick run-down:

Small town in Maine(duh. It IS a King work, after all). After a big storm, the town is covered in a strange mist which, townspeople suppose, is some result of a secret government project on a nearby mountain.

When the mist finally settles, people are trapped wherever they are because, in typical horror movie fashion...something(no one knows just what) is in the mist. This "something" is powerful, evil, and hungry. It's tentacles were spotted by a small group of shoppers when they were trapped inside a supermarket. An old man, a bag boy and the main character(an artist with his young son) saw the slimy firehoses of some sort of monster outside. The bag boy is encouraged by the old man to go outside to see what it is and the boy, full of bravato, does so. He's promptly eaten by the creature. The artist, angry with the old man for pushing the boy into the mist, attacks the old man for his stupidity. After a few punches are thrown, the artist gets hold of his senses. Instead of making fists, he simply asks the old man, "He's a kid. He's supposed to be stupid. What's your excuse?"

I cut teenagers a lot of slack. After just finishing Dr. Michael Bradley's "Yes, Your Teen IS Crazy", I'm even more convinced most teens are going to make more mistakes during their adolescent years than at any other time in life. After all, teens ARE crazy-and that's Dr. Bradley saying it, not me!

Yet, like this old man, even adults with lots of experience do stupid stuff. Do we cut these people slack? Or do we punch them? I ask this in jest, but with a hint of seriousness.

No one sensible would suggest we go around putting up dukes to anyone who does something stupid. We live in a society that is violent enough without me encouraging that! But this was just another reminder to me that teens are going to do crazy and stupid stuff-but adults will, too. From time to time, we all do. Be easy with yourself when you do...and be easy with others, too.

A Special Day

Know those stupid furniture commercials? There's usually some yahoo wearing a badly fitting suit witth a pocket protector screaming something like, "It's our birthday, but you get the savings!"

In the last several years, I've come to know just how true this is. For my Bday, I always want to give other people gifts. Yeah, it's my day, so I want to show others how important they are to me.

Well, today is a special birthday...but not mine.

My beautiful wife, Marvelyne, celebrates her birthday today, Dec. 1. This will be the first birthday either of us has celebrated since we married five months ago.
It may be her birthday...but I get the gift. And that gift is to spend every day of my life with her, the woman I love, my best friend.

I love you, babe...and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Should You Be Receptive?

"Be receptive to something new!"

This is what I heard the first time I turned up my nose at sushi. I work really hard at being open to new things, so, after a little more thought, dived into my first tempura roll...and I've loved every delicious bite of Japanese food since!

Tonight, though, my wonderfully smart and talented wife made an interesting point about reception. We were having a lengthy discussion about some mutual friends and drama going on in their life. Marvelyne said, "They're not the kind of people who seem real receptive of gossip. It probably just goes in one ear and out the other."

Being receptive doesn't mean embracing and/or accepting. I'm open and receptive to listening to just about anyone. Nazis? Let 'em talk! After 30 seconds of chatter they show how stupid they are! Hellfire and brimstone preachers? Speak freely! Same story as the Nazis - the more you talk, the more opportunity I have to see the flaws of your thinking. Differing political views? Hey, I'll watch a debate between the libertarians and the American Communist Party if I can learn something from it!

The thing is, just like with these three examples (and the previously mentioned acquaintances), I will be receptive - but not accepting of just about anything.

Why We Should Ban More Books

When I was in middle school, I leafed through Harriet Beecher Stowe's, "Uncle Tom's Cabin." Around that same time, I think I read most of Judy Blume's "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret." In high school, I read both of Twain's most popular, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer.

Why did I read these? Because I wasn't supposed to! Duh!

Why else would a 12 year old boy be reading about slaves and female puberty? Okay, maybe the female puberty stuff makes more sense. But the reason-the ONLY reason I ever picked these books up was because I knew they had "questionable" content..

In Ohio, there's a famous situation going on right now. A high school had planned to dramatize Agatha Christie's "Ten Little Indians" for their spring production. Tain't gonna happen. Apparently, the school board caught flack for this because some take offense to the term "indian." Understandable. Native Americans have every right to be called whatever they want to be called. Is it offensive? I don't know-I'mm not of the heritage in question.

But ya know what? I now want to read this classic work! Yup, throw it in with my readings of "The Slaughterhouse Five" and "Catcher in the Rye" and everything else eveer deemed "questionable."

Ban a book and insure it's popularity. Ban books and you'll certainly have more little Marcus Engels out there reading them. Ban books and see how many kids are inspired to read!

My idea? Ban amazon.com altogether and we'll get every kid in America reading! Wishful thinking? Yes. And I'm not serious-I obviously love amazon.

Just know that the more something is shunned by, well, anyone, makes it fair game of interest for everyone else.

Power To The People?

I just finished watching the Republican debates from CNN and youtube.com. If you didn't catch it, the debate mainly consisted of questions sent in via video clips. For instance, there'd be a 10 second video clip where the "star" stated his/her namee, city and state, then their question.

I really liked this form of questioning. I'd much rather hear questions from average Americans than from Wolf Blitzer or Shepherd Smith. Let's face it-Americans are going to elect the next prez, so it should be the American people asking the questions on which those votes will be based.

For all the bad press youtube gets for jackass stunts pulled by high school dudes, this was a fantastic use of 21st century technology.

Oh, and did you think the guy with the Confederate flag was as big of a tool as I did? Yeah, thought so.

The Trouble With Doctors...

There are a bazillion issues with health care in Americans. Americans themselves are one of the biggest problems-we don't take care of ourselves, we expect doctors to fix all our issues with the wave of a magic wand, you get the idea. Pretty much everything except personal responsibility.

Physicians take part of the blame, too. You've probably heard the notion, "Doctors only want to do two things: cut ya or drug ya.

There's a certain bit of truth to this statement. After all, doctors do have the power of the prescription pad, and the surgeons have the power to operate. On the first side of this(drugs), there's a minute clinic type place just down the street from my home. They advertise, "Physician appointment and prescription: $70" Uh, so every time someone walks in they also get a prescription? What if they don't NEED a prescription? Do they get one anyway, just because they paid for it?

Today I had an appointment with a surgeon. Nothing serious, thank you very much! Due to some post-crash procedures that included a feeding tube, the lining of my abdomen is, well, about as strong as the upper body strength of a third grade girl. I.E., not. Thus, I now have my third incisional hernia in less than five years. I expected to go to the surgeon and walk out with a date for surgery on the calendar. Didn't happen.

After feeling the protrusion, the surgeon(who was this friendly old timey country doctor type) said, "Know what I'd do if I were you? Nothing. Nothing at all."

Beg pardon? What? Repeat, please! A surgeon who does not want to cut? Could the stereotype be (GASP!) wrong?

After some explaination, the surgeon said if I wanted him to, he could do the operation...but why? It doesn't bother me, it doesn't hurt, it doesn't limit my lifestyle, why go through surgery if it isn't dangerous or bothersome? Well, Doc, I couldn't agree with you more!

What did this teach me? Probably nothing new, but it did reinforce the stupidity of stereotypes.. Thanks for that, Doctor Mac, and for NOT making me a patient!

If You Love Carson...

You'll want to visit the new and improved web site for the Seeing Eye, Inc., Carson's alma mater:

www.SeeingEye.org

I hear there are pics of new puppiess there, too(c'mon on! If nothing else, you wanna go see cute cuddly little puppies, don't you?)

For those of us who utilize the services of working dogs, the Seeing Eye is the flagship dog training org in the world. Makes me proud as a handler to see the Eye so well represented on the web!

I'm Not There

Generally, I hate movies. There's the list of my favs; Scent of A Woman, Pulp Fiction, Blues Brothers, etc., but there's rarely a time when, on a dead evening, I pipe up with, "Hey, let's go to a movie!" Chalk it up to A.D.D. or blindness or lack of interest in seeing Saw #15, but movies usually just aren't of a whole lot of interest to yours truly.

However, since I heard about, "I'm Not There", I'd been raring at the bit to go! What? You haven't seen "I'm Not There" on the marquis at your local Cinema 20? That's because it's not a movie that'll get a whole lot of recognition from the big boys.

"I'm Not There" is a fictionalized account of Bob Dylan's life(and you know what a big Dylan fan I am!), but not anything like what you may expect. It is, if nothing else, an art film. Hence, it's disjointed, vague, strange, jumbled and confusing-and it's also one of the most creative works I've ever seen.

The writer took six intermingled segments from Dylan's life; the fictional account of his life prior to NYC he told reporters once he got famous, his heavy drug days, the interviews with non-answers he was so famous for giving during press conferences, and, strangely, an old west-ish scene with Billy the Kid.

Mixing all these segments together is confusing enough. But then, keep in mind these are somewhat fictionalized. So, the role of Dylan is played by a folk singer named Jack Rollins(who?), but who walks, talks and acts like Dylan. Hmmm. Now, the plot thickens when, in each segment, Dylan's role is played by a different actor. Richard Gere being one of them. That's not so far-fetched, but when Dylan's role is played by an 11 year old black kid, by Kate Blanchett(sp? Remember-I'm not a big Hollywood fan and less of a Hollywood speller) and a few others who, well, aren't remotely close to the demographics of Dylan.

And, hands down, Kate Blanchett gives one of the most intriguing performances I've ever witnessed on screen. Strange enough to see a female acting this role, but she obviously did lots of study into the idiosyncricies of Dylan before stepping on the set. Just powerful.

Now, why do I give you this review? Because you care? Nah, because I learned something in this film...

Viewing "I'm Not There" is akin to riding a roller coaster. You can do nothing but hang on annd enjoy the ride!! You can't steer the film, you can't predict it, you(often times) can't even make sense of it. But the viewer will absorb it and enjoy it in the most of Zen ways. The more you try to make sense of it, the more frustrated you'll become. So, just live in the moment, let the film be what it is-art in all it's glory.

Mizzou-RAH!

When I was growing up, it seemed like every Sunday afternoon was spent around Grandma and Grandpa Engel's kitchen table. Fried chicken and mashed potatos are my most vivid memory, but I'm sure the menu was a little more extensive than that!

The other strong memory of that kitchen table was the glassware. Nothing fancy, but for a kid-unforgettable. See, Grandma Engel had drinking glasses that bore the insignia and schedule from the University of Missouri Tigers. This would have been circa 1987, so it was a little odd to see the year "1968" on the glasses. Nonetheless, there were all sorts of phrases like "Champions!" and "Title!" all over the glasses, too.

And friends, until last night, I'm not sure the University of Missouri has really had a team to be proud of since those glasses were created(and yes, Nixon was in office then). Sure, there was a bowl game a few years ago(the Cornnuts Bowl or something ridiculous that no one watched), but last night's victory over rival KU was nothing short of sweet!

Congrats, MU, and here's to a win against Oklahoma next week!

Thank You...Thank You Very Much!

To be said in your best Elvis-sounding voice...

The whole idea of Thanksgiving is to remember all the things we have and how lucky we are. And we are! I mean, if you're reading this, you're probably in the U.S. of A and that means you've got a front row seat to everything! There is hardly anyone in this country that goes without food, shelter and at least some amenities of a quality life. Certainly there are people who are homeless, but the vast, VAST majority of Americans have more than ammple amounts of, well, everything!

While Thanksgiving is the day we're supposed to remember to be grateful for all we have, when you have as much as most Americans do, one day simply isn't enough. We need to really take a look at all we have, every day, and be grateful forthe awesome things we possess; food, clothing, shelter, relationships, material goods-all the things that make life worth living.

For this Thanksgiving 2007, I wish you a day filled with food and laughter and fun, and I hope you'll take time to be grateful every day, all year long.

Teach Your Children Well

Yesterday, we hired a handyman which I, of course, found on craigslist.org. Floyd was hired to hang up some artwork and decorations in our living room-a task we could take care of IF we had a 15' ladder(which we don't).

When Floyd the handyman arrived, he brought along his young son. His boy is out of school all week, so Floyd took the opprotunity to have a helping hand AND teach a few lessons to the kiddo.

His son, Austin, was probably no older than first grade, but he really WAS a help-running to the truck for an extension cord, helping to lift the coffeetable, etc.

When it came time to pay Floyd for his services, he had Austin calculate everything in their record books. As he's showing the boy how to add up the different items, he's continually emphasizing, "You always, always have to keep track of your bookwork, okay?"

Then, after all was figured up, Floyd said, "I'm going to knock off $15 because I wasn't able to hang that one picture right, and I was 30 minutes late.." We protested because his work was superb. He made a motion to Austin and said, "Son, you always have to be generous with the people who hire you. That's key in this business."

I chimed in my two cents worth with, "Being generous is key in ALL business!"

It was really refreshing to see a parent taking such an active interest in actually teaching the kid; not having helping hands so the parent doesn't have to work as hard, not feeling like he was forced to keep an eye on the kid since school was out, but actually instructing and guiding the little guy into how one conducts a good, ethical and successful business.

If you're in the Orlando area, consider a handyman named Floyd Davis:
fdavis001@cfl.rr.com

The Best CL Rant Ever!

I freakin' love craigslist.org. I've purchased and sold so many things over the last year that I'd have been unable to buy/sell were it not for CL. In fact, right now, I'm sipping an espresso from the espresso/cappucino maker I bought off a guy over the weekend for $15. I'm sure this thing was much more expensive than that in the store, and thank God for people who get gifts they don't use! But even more, how awesome is it to have such a grass roots site that puts people in touch with one another? And how awesome is it that it works at such a level to put the responsibility in the hands of the users?

Anywho, this morning I was purusing the Best of CL and came acrosss a rant from a woman who's husband is being shipped out to Iraq. She had one of the most articulate, well-written arguments/points I've heard expressed. I so wish I could cut and paste it here, but the language is pretty colorful and, if you want to read it badly enough, you'll go to CL and find it yourself.

Anyway, she was making the point that people don't know what to say when she informs them her husband is being shipped to a war zone. She said, "I don't want to hear about your problems, I don't want your political leanings, I don't want to go to your Bbible study to give me hope, I don't want to hear, 'Well, at least you still have me!'..."

So often, when a hardship is told, people tend to think they have to come up with a great response. Something that'll lighten the mood, or something that'll give the person hope, or something that'll fix the problem. Most often, people who tell you of their problems simply want a listening ear and an understanding heart. I'd like to thank this anonymous poster for showing the readers, in no uncertain terms, what a spouse of a soldier needs the most. We should all learn from her writings...

Keeping Up With the Garcias

Smith is the #1 surname in America. But for the first time ever, two Hispanic names, Garcia and Rodriguez, have pushed into the top ten...and not just pushed, but Garcia shot up to #7.

I've always thought names were an interesting way of identifying people. NPR did a segment a few years ago on a common name(I forget what it is exactly, but let's say it was John Smithson). Two Englishmen, while getting sloppy on grog, discover one of them shares a name with an acquaintance of the other. So, when John Smithson and Bill Anderson are sipping ale, it turns out Bill has heard of another John Smmithson. So, in their completely rational mindset, they jump on a train and travel for hours to seek out the other John Smithson. As they network this through, they find more and more folks by the same name. Turns out, as their research progressed, they met a couple who'd actually changed their names(both of 'em, his AND hers) to John Smithson, just for the pure novelty of it.

It really makes you wonder...what's in a name? Marvelyne and I often joke that, due to the uniqueness of both of our names, on paper, most folks probably assume we're black. And according to this same study, there is a big racial divide within names, too. 90% of everyone named Schmidt is white, while 90% of Washingtons are black.

Yet, America being the great melting pot that it is, somewhere down the line, there are going to be round-eyed white guys with blonde hair name Martinez, and dark skinned dark haired ladies named Davis-all the more evidence that America remains the most diverse culture on earth

A Real Stinker

I'm a bibliophile. That's book lover, for those of you who aren't also bibliophiles!

Amongst my bibliophile loves is anything and everything written by Stephen King. I swear, I could probably force myself to read a French cookbook if it sayss: By Stephen King on the cover!

For the last couple of weeks, I've been working my way through "The Journals of Elenor Drues" by Elenor Drues. When you're Stephen King and have been writing best sellers for the last three decades, you can experiment with your writing styles. That's what he did with Elenor Drues. Don't be fooled-even though it says it's by this anonymous woman you've never heard of, it's a work of King's. And, frankly, it sucks.

The book is only about 200 pages long and it's taken me nearly two weeks to get through it(which I finally did today). There are many aspects to this; it's difficult for a 60 year old maan to write from the perspective of a 76 year old woman. The story just isn't that interesting. And, as happens every once in a great while, I just loathe the narrator who reads the book on tape. All these combined mean it took me nearly 20 days to get through a read that should have taken me half a week.

While expressing my disgust at this book to my wife, she said, "He's such a master of writing...but he puts out a real stinker every so often!"

She's so right! And really, King is no different than any other artist(or person, for that matter). Even people who are considered top of the heap have times where they're just off. Even a great athlete can have a bad day. Even some of the finest actors from Hollywood have made movies that make me want to hurl.

It just goes to prove that even select individuals who are the masters of their fields must have grace and compassion on themselves-we can't all be perfect all the time, even if you're perfect most all of the time!

If It Sounds Too Good To Be True...

C'mon! Say it with me! "...It probably is!"

Any parent worth his/her salt presses this into the mind of the kid, right? It sure was taught to me! And to most everyone I know!

Yet, even knowing it doesn't mean people actually heed this warning. Yes, there are fast talking salesmen who confuse the subject so the buyer doesn't really know what he/she is getting. And that's okay if we're talking some cheap item-after all, even fast talkin' salesmen have the right to make a living.

I just finished watching a PBS documentary on how America got into the sub-prime mortgage snafu. I heard lots of bad stuff about the former CEO of Ameriquest, how the government isn't willing to help, how manipulative the mortgage salesmen were-but never, not once did someone say, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is."

There was lots of finger pointing at everyone EXCEPT the person who was the final decision maker: the home buyer. Trust me, I'm as distressed over the home mortgage problem as anyone(except those who've lost their homes), but I can't keep from thinking: the person who bought the home made the decision. It's that person's name on the forms. It's that person who ultimately has the opprotunity to turn down everything because it's just not a good deal. And most importantly, that person has the responsibility for educating him/herself on every aspect to do with the mortgage.

Really, if prime is 6%, and a slick mortgage salesman offers a buyer a rate of 2.5%...uh, maybe we should think back to the days when Mommy and Daddy said, "If it's too good to be true, it probably is..."

Really, ARMs tell you, right there in the name, that the rate is "adjustable." So, when the low rate was named, what kind of fool doesn't ask, "So, what will the rate be when it's adjusted?" Apparently, 2 million homes(estimated) in the U.S. were bought by just such fools.

II loathe the mortgage companies who used illegal and immoral tactics to make sales. But let's not forget personal responsibility. If someone is about to make the biggest investment in life, I hope they're smart enough to read the fine print-and to remember the lesson our parents taught.

Ho Ho...NO!

I wouldn't have believed it, but I heard it on the most popular television news show on cable TV.

In Australia, there is a person who coordinates all the Santas for all the department stores. This person has determined that St. Nick saying, "Ho ho ho!" might be offensive to some women. So, Aussie Santas are now required to say, "Ha ha ha!"

To which, I say "Ha ha ha!"

Seriously, folks! We all know a ho or two, but would they be offended by Santa giving his usual verbage? Highly unlikely. They're far too busy sucking down white zinfandel and smoking menthol 100 ciggiess while waiting for Mr. Overdose On Cologne Guy to try to pick them up. Too graphic? Ridiculous? Yes...just as stupid as changing Sannta's slogan.

Bull Puckey!

Is cow poop the environmental wave of the future?

Tonight, Fox News ran a fun segment on a way of turning cow manure into methane gas, then using the methane gas to power homes. In central Texas, there are plants that do this very process. The cow dukey is re-hydrated, then mixed with oils and fats and water to speed up the production of methane. Then, this single plant can power over 1000 homes across central Texas.

This is awesome news...and would you be surprised to find out the woman they interviewed about cow poop methane production was Patty? Yeah, me neither.

Children's Hospital

Thanks to the miracle of modern technology, I can stream radio stations in from other parts of the world. If you're reading this, you can too!

It keeps me connected with friends and family back home to be able to listen to St. Louis radio. Today, on 97.1 FM, I heard a really awesome commercial for CChildren's Hospital.

In it, a little girl asks, "What are all you numbers doing in the hallways of Children's Hospital? Are you sick?"

To which a number replies, "No, we're actually here to show how well we're doing!" Each number; #7, #8, #1, etc. all represent a ranking that Children's Hospital has for each of it's departments. All the rankings are quite impressive! Children's Hospital is a sister org of Barnes Hospital, the place that saved my life when I was 18.

I'm so proud my hometown has such an awesome institution for the health care of children. Now, if we can just figure out a way where kids never have to go to the hospital, we'll be even better...

Would You Be Happy For Your Spouse To Cheat?

I wouldn't. But for Sandra Day O'Connor, the fact her husband has a new girlfriend is a relief. I came across the article in USA Today and I think this is one of the truest definitions of love I've found. Here's the link to the article:

A New Page in O'Connors' Love Story - AOL News

See, John O'Connor has Alzheimer's. He lives in a home for patients with severe Alzheimer's in Arizona. His wife, Sandra Day O'Connor, retired from the U.S. Supreme Court last year in order to help take care of her husband. Now, at 77 years of age and with a personality compromised due to Alzheimer's, John O'Connor has found a new girlfriend, also a patient at the home.

Does Sandra get jealous? Bitter? Resentful? No. She's pleased. When she visits, she sees John happy, content and, as their eldest son described, "like a teenager in love." Due to this wretched disease, Mr. O'Connor is no longer the same person. He may not even realize he is still married to his same wife of 50 years. But Alzheimer's, according to experts, doesn't diminish one's capacity and need for human relationships.

Justice O'Connor is doing the absolute best she can with a situation beyond her control. And really, she's shown me the truest definition of love-putting aside one's personal desires for the best situation for a loved one. If you click on the link above, you may want a box of Kleenex nearby... it's a tear jerker, folks...

Don't Taze Me, Bro!

Tupperware. Pampered Chef. Candles. Baskets...these all represent kinds of parties I've NOT been to! And, God willing, I'll never be at any party with multi-level marketing!

But now, a new twist for ladies on the pyramid scheme circuit...tasers. Yes, tasers.

Who'd have thunk it, but taser parties are popping up like a mugger's eyes after being hit with mega-voltage. Would you believe tasers actually come in fresh new colors? True story!

All kidding aside, no one can dismiss the sense of tasers. No, they're not fool proof, they still have dangers, even fatal dangers, for some taze victims with heart conditions, but all in all, non-lethal weapons are a kinder, gentler way to help our law enforcement officers(and now Joe Average Citizens) protect themselves from violence.

Bad Bad Apples

Well, in addition to rubbing elbows with Hollywood types in Spokane, WA this weekend, I also met two of my colleagues:

Rodger Campbell and Frank Kitchen

Rodger and Frank are represented by Coleman Productions, too andare just some really awesome guys! Check out their site at:

www.badbadapples.com

I can't wait to see these guys do their thang in person! If their normal personalities are indicative of what they do on the platform, then the audience is in for a real treat!And, if you like to dance, you're going to want to check out their videos on their site and on Coleman Production's site, too:

www.ColemanProductions

Marcus & Mr. Belding

Remember growing up watching "Saved by the Belll"? If your answer is yes, you're probably between 35 and 20. Outside of that demographic, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Screech and Mr. Belding are names that probably mean next to nothing to you. But, if you ARE from the "Saved By The Bell" generation, then you darned sure remember Dennis Haskins' character, principal Mr. Belding.

Well, at NACA West, Dennis Haskins (a.k.a. still Mr. Belding to those who'll recognize his face) happened to be in a booth a few down from ours. He stopped by to pet Carson and I didn't realize who he was. When he learned Carson's name, he said, "When I was on 'Saved By The Bell', our studio was right across from 'The Tonight Show.' I used to see Johnny Carson every day and called him Mr. Carson." Around this time it's sinking in who this guy is, but Ii didn't want to assume anything. Thus I asked, "You were on 'Saved By The Bell'?" He said, "Yes, I was Mr. Belding."

At this point, I stuck out my hand, gave him our Kappa Sigma grip and and stated letters only brothers of our order would know. Yep, it's true! Mr. Belding is a brother of Kappa Sig! It's way cool to meet new brothers, but even more awesome when those guys happen to be famous actors! Here's a shot of Mr. Belding and yours truly... who'd have thunk I'd be rubbing elbows with Hollywood types in Spokane?

NACA West in Spokane!

Well, for my first NACA conference, I couldn't have asked for more!
I presented a 15 min. lecture showcase on behalf of my agency,

Coleman Productions

http://www.colemanproductions.com/

Below are pics of myself and David Coleman, aka: the Dating Doctor,

my agent at CPI, Brooke Sims, and our CPI booth at NACA.

Thanks to all who attended my lecture showcase and for stopping past the booth!

Metro Life Church, Miami, FL

Tuesday and Wednesday, Nov. 6 and 7,

I was honored to present a couple of programs for

Metro Life Church in Miami, FL.

On Tuesday evening, the keynote was for the men's group - an especially awesome treat for me since it's rare I get to present for gender-specific organizations. In programs that are gender specific, whether male or female, I feel like there are topics we can cover more in depth than with a mixed audience. I want to thank the gentlemen who attended for being such an awesome group to work with, for their attentiveness and for making my first experience at Metro Life Church so incredible!

And if I thought Tuesday night was da bomb, Wednesday night blew my mind! Thanks to all who came out, who were touched by what I presented and for so many kind words and hugs afterward!

A very, very special thanks goes to Steve and Mary Alessi, pastors of Metro Life Church. Pastors Steve and Mary also happen to be my bro-in-law and sis-in-law, and it was terrific getting to know my new family members even more!

Metro Life Church is really what a church should be - open, inviting, compassionate, giving and close. However the dynamic is created at Metro Life Church, it's there and is ready for anyone who'd like to have a positive worship experience. Check out their site at:

http://www.metrolifechurch.cc/

I've Been Everywhere, Man!

Apologies for the lack of posts in recent days. As the heading says, I've been everywhere(to quote the famous Johnny Cash).

On Tuesday and Wednesday, I was honored to present for Metro Life Church in Miami, FL. The pastors of this church happen to be my bro-in-law and sis-in-law, Steve and Mary Alessi. Pics and personal thank yous for this event will be in another post.

So, Miami is where I woke up yesterday morning. When I laid down last night, it was in Spokane, WA. A few hours at home in Orlando in between and, well, you just have to glance at a map to see that Thursday, I really WAS everywhere, man!

In Spokane for the NACA West conference, for which I'll be showcasing this morning. Pics and commentary to come after, too...just wanted to get a quick post up so no one thinks there is a death or anything!

Seeing A Ghost

In the past year, Hank Williams III has become one of my favorite performers. Raucous, redneck, acoustic driven noise with no apologies to those who are offended-exactly what alternative country was meant to be! So, last night was a night I'd been anticipating for a long, long time...

Hank played Orlando last night and, without a doubt, his music is some of the best funked up redneck hollarin' around!

Then, without fair warning, the hellbilly sound died and metal took over. I don't mean metal like our old friends AC/DC or Motley Crue, I mean Gwar and Slipknot. As soon as my ears stopped bleeding, I figured out Hank's country set was over and his metal band, Assjack, had taken the stage. Then, it was time to bail. Gwar and Marcus just don't go together.

Still, for the handfull of songs I heard, Hank's voice transformed the night into something out of a ghost story. There's no better known name in country music than Hank Williams, and on stage with that high, broken tenor sound of his granddad, Hank 3 turned into Hank Sr., right before my very ears. If nothing else, it was the closest I'll ever come to seeing the legendary Hank Williams-especially since he was dead a good 20 years before I entered the world. Craziness.

Tomorrow On Oprah!

One of my fellow speakers with Coleman Productions:

www.ColemanProductions.com

will be on Oprah tomorrow. Judson Laipply is best known for "The Evolution of Dance"-if you're an Oprah watcher, you'll love this!

Thoughts from Dr. William Samek

If you are a subscriber to the Marcus Engel Newsletter, you may remember September's newsletter which included my thoughts on forgiveness. While writing this newsletter, I began to realize just how many facets the whole idea of forgiveness has! Yet for me, the single biggest aspect that has influenced my life is the idea of forgiveness as something the survivor(I hate the word "victim") does for himself/herself. For example, yours truly has forgiven the offender who took his sight. Not because he asked for it, not because I don't want him to carry the weight of it, but because I, me-I want to be able to move forward with my life. That's really tough to do if I'm bogged down in the injustice of the act.

After the newsletter went out, I received an E mail response from Dr. William Samek, a mental health professional in Miami, FL who happens to be a subscriber to the Marcus Engel Newsletter. He raised some really great points and I was so happy to get some feedback on this subject from a professional-someone who has lots more than personal experience with forgiveness. From Dr. Samek's points and my own exploration of forgiveness, I realized it is such a vague concept I could probably write a newsletter on each facet for each month for years to come! But, that's probably going to get old, so I'd just like to now give you Dr. Samek's thoughts on the matter...and thanks, Dr. Samek, for the food for thought!

Marcus,
I am a clinical and forensic psychologist. I read your book a few years
ago and I found today's Newsletter interesting food for thought. I
specialize in treating sexual abuse and therefore I have thought over
the years a lot about the issue of forgiveness.

I agree that getting to the point of letting go of the anger is a very
important part of recovery from trauma. I agree that it can be difficult
to do and that it takes time. I agree that not letting go of the anger
only hurts the victim. It has no impact on the abuser/offender.

However, I do not call letting go of the anger, which is an important
part of recovery for a victim, forgiveness. I believe that forgiveness
has a component of forgiving the abuser, of saying you no longer blame
him or you do not hold him accountable any longer. Christian counselors
often preach the need to forgive the offender and turn judgment over to
God. I think this is not good counseling and not good theology.
Forgiveness is good and it is appropriate when, and only when, the
offender repents. Only when the offender truly repents, not just in
words but also in changed behaviors, is forgiveness appropriate, in my
opinion.

I think we need a better word for letting go of the anger than
forgiveness. Forgiveness has a meaning, I believe, that includes letting
go of the blame placed on the offender. I think recovery for a victim
requires letting go of the anger and, depending on the situation, it may
or may not also require letting go of the blaming the offender. Another
way to say this is there is emotional forgiveness and intellectual
forgiveness. Forgiveness - letting go of the emotional anger (feelings)
is always a necessary part of a full recovery for the victim.
Forgiveness - letting go of the intellectual anger (thoughts) is not a
necessary part of full recovery for a victim and is appropriate only
when the offender truly repents. For a victim to forgive in the
intellectual sense of the term a non-repentant abuser is, in my opinion,
further abuse of the victim. For example, a girl who was molested by a
father who continues to deny that it ever happened, needs to eventually
let go of her hurt and rage and to understand that her father is a sick
man who was likely seriously abused by his family during his childhood
but she does not need to forgive him in the common sense of forgive.

Just some of my thoughts on forgiveness and healing.

Dr. Samek
Miami, FL

More Thoughts on Forgiveness

Last night, I performed the usual Saturday night ritual of watching 48 Hours Mystery. This was a really, really disturbing case, to say the least. Here goes with a description:

A college-aged son, Bart, hired a couple of hitmen to murder his parents and little brother. After dinner one evening, the four family members returned home to find a gunman in their living room. Four shots, one into the chest of both the mom and big bro, one into the shoulder of Bart himself., just to make it look like Bart wasn't involved.

Two years and a manhunt later, Bart was finally caught and convicted. The jury then had to do the sentencing, too. This being Texas, conspiracy for Murder 1 can still carry the death penalty.

Now, keep in mind the silent person in all this: Bart's father. The man who was targeted to be shot, the man who's son killed his wife and youngest son. The father is pleading for the jury to spare his son's life-to only sentence him to life in prison. In interviews with the father, he stated, "That first night of the shooting, I forgave all those involved. I wanted to be able to move forward myself and I couldn't do that if I carried the anger and hurt from the murders."

Wow. Can any of us even imagine being in this man's position? There are so many angles to this story, but what will always stick out ifs how the father could forgive and move on so easily. Was it really that easy? He certainly made it ;look so.

And, with apologies for being so tardy, I now post a second blog from Dr. William Sameck who, after September's newsletter, wrote me some of his thoughts on forgiveness which I'd like to share. Here goes: