Priorities

A year or so ago, I sat down with my bud and fellow speaker, Scott Ginsburg. We discussed blogging, the goods, the bads and the uglies. One point Scott made(and I concurred) is that if you do not blog regularly, no one will re-visit your blog. And it's true!

I can't count the number of times I've gone to a blog, read what was there, liked it, then checked in a few weeks later and...nothing new! Thus, I don't return to that blog.

At the beginning of this year, I made new year's blog resolutions-one of which is to blog every day. Have I accomplished this? Nope-but I've come close! About every two weeks or so, I miss a day. But, that's about to change.

In fact, You may not hear anything new from me for the next week or so(unlikely, but possible). This is all a round about way of saying...I'm getting married!

Yep, the day is finally here! Well, tomorrow it will finally be here. Iin the next hour, all guests should arrive to town and that's when the celebration begins! Thus, my priority the next several days is(of course) my bride, my family and our wedding guests. Don't worry...next time you hear from me, there should be pictures!

Thank you all so much for your support at this turning point in my life...and,, as always, thank you for reading!

That One Person

Today was one of the first days in a while where I was truly inspired to write. I was E chatting with my friend, Carrie, when she told me a story that is the subject for July's newsletter.

I'll not spill the beans on the subject, but let's take time to think about where our lives might be if there weren't that "one person." For example, last night, my soon-to-be stepdaughter went to a church service where they had a guest speaker. The speaker was a Puerto Rican immigrant who, while still a teenager, got into armed robbery, specifically of banks. Brother has guts, I'll give him that. He did 10 years for 23 counts of armed robbery and was converted while he was in prison.

According to him, there was one particular person in the can who turned his life around. That person believed in him, didn't write him off as a piece of trash like the rest of society and singlehandedly helped him become the man he is today.

Even if you don't have a story that is this dramatic, chances are, you can name a person or two who, through his/her belief in you, made you believe in yourself! THAT is what we all need to do-strive to be that one person for another. And, with that too wet your appetite, you'll have to wait until July's Marcus Engel Newsletter to learn more!

Pile Misery Upon Misery

A few weeks ago, I was hanging out with a guy who is, in every sense of the word, the biggest jerk ever. He tells me hewas going to call his cousin that evening. Being polite, I ask how that cousin(another guy I know) is doing. Said jerk shakes his head, scowls and says, "Not so good...he's really depressed."

I found this shocking(not) since said oriinal jerk is also that depressive, woe is me sort. Now, not clincially depressed, just constantly feeling sorry for himself and pulling a BMW session every time you're near him.

So, why would one depressed jerk spend time talking to another depressed person? Because misery loves company. Frankly, I try to be as supportive as I can to people who have problems, but when I'm depressed, the LAST person I want to talk to is someone who is also depressed. Just makes sense, right?

Well, yes and no. Often, the person in the dumps feels better by pulling others down to his/her level. I don't get that enjoyment and, really, I don't necessarily get off on being in a bad mood. But, there I go making sense again.

My opinion(okay, okay, call it advice, if you must) is to stay away from depressed people....especially if you're prone to depression yourself. If you don't, guess what? You'll end up sucking the bottom of humanity right along with them.

Friendship Jealousy?

Lately, as I'm about to civillay inherit kiddos, I've been trying to fill my head with as many good things as possible. By this, I mean books on the subject.

I just finished Dr. Phil's "Phenomenal Families"-and I've gotta say, Dr. Phil again taught me some stuff. Yet, this morning's reading wasn't what Dr. Phil said, but what he quoted from Oscar Wilde.

As you'd expect, the book is in the other room, so this won't be a direct quote-so sue me. Anyway, Wilde said, "A little piece of us dies inside every time a friend has a new success."

Man, I hate to admit it, but in our keeping-up-with-the-Joneses world, this probably has more accuracy than at first glance. I like to think I celebrate the successes of my friends. But do I always? When my bud, Dave, got a promotion at the home for abused children where he works, I shook his hand. When another friend told me of his travel plans this summer, including two trips to extremely exotic locations I'm unable to even spell, yeah, there was a tiny bit of jealousy there.

However, in disagreement with Wilde, it doesn't kill a part of me-it motivates me. Next summer, I want to plant my butt in the sand on a Caribbean Island I can't spell! So, in the next 12 months, I'll work my butt off to make that goal!

In our world, a little jealousy is to be expected. Like with everything, we can choose to look at the successes of others as a motivator, or de-motivator. And, as always, that choice is solely in our own hands.

Something Carson Better NOT Do!

Black Lab Drives Owner's Car Into River
AP


SAGLE, Idaho (June 22) - Bad dog. Charlie the black lab is in trouble after driving his owner's car into the Pend Oreille River. Owner Mark Ewing had just returned home from picking up a pizza Wednesday evening. As he walked to his home, Charlie jumped into the car through an open window, and apparently knocked the vehicle into gear. "He somehow got the car into neutral," Ewing said. "My car just went boom, down an incline and into the drink." Ewing could only watch as his Chevy Impala sank into the river. No dummy, Charlie jumped out of the window as the car went downhill. "There's nothing weirder than looking at your car cruising down your driveway when you're not in it and seeing your dog jump out and then watching your car go splash," Ewing said. Actually, things got a little weirder when the tow truck driver showed up. Before the driver dove into the water to hook the car up to his truck, he asked Ewing to hold his dentures. "My car's in the drink, I've got dentures in my hand and this guy Keith from Clyde's Towing goes swimming," Ewing noted.

Princely Advice

I hate to admit it, but I'm kinda, sorta finding myself caught up in all the royal family stuff lately. It sure doesn't seem like a decade since I was sitting in a watering hole with friends from Camp Mo-Val when the news of Princess Diana's death came on the TV overhead. Now the Princes are grown men and it's interesting to hear interviews where they discuss their desire for a "normal" life.

Last night, the interview showed the reporter asking each about being in the limelight; especially as it relates to their love lives. The princes know full well anywhere and everywhere they go, they are followed by cameras and reporters. How can one even think of having a normal dating life when flashbulbs go off every ten seconds? Plus, every reporter hawks for every detail thinking they've got the inside scoop on the personal life of one of the princes.

When asked how they feel when they read a mistruth or blatant lie about them, both princes gave an awesome response: "You can't sink to that level."

How right they are! When a child taunts an adult, the last thing an adult should do is fall into that child's plan. To let it get to you is stooping to the very level Prince Willliam discussed.

Granted, no one else in the entire world is under as much of a microscope as the princes. And yet? They've learned to handle fame and attention in positive, healthy ways...and, if we heed their advice, hopefully, we mere commoners won't bow to whatever our pressures and childish tauntings confront us.

Such A Different View Of The World

I'm not real big on conspiracy theories. Really, especially in politics, most politicians are so egocentric they can't keep their nose out of a camera-even if they're supposed to be keeping mumm.

So, a few days ago, I gave it nothing more than a passing "glance" when I heard a conspiracy theory being discussed on the morning news. Until, that is, I had my attention drawn to the man being interviewed. It is rumored(and maybe substantiated, I dunno) that our current president is a member of the secret society, Skull and Bones. I'm not a member, I've never been in a meeting, so the truth of this really doesn't concern me.

However, many conspiracy theorists believe all sorta stuff about secret societies like Skull and Bones-that they control the world in some sort of new world order, that they own politicians, that all world leaders are secret members, blah blah blah. Well, this newscast helped fuel the fire of conspiracy theorists.

The Native American, Geronimo, is supposedly buried somewhere in the southwest. His descendent, also with the last name geronimo, was interviewed on Fox News about how he believes Geronimo's skull was stolen from Geronimo's grave and is in the possession of members of Skull and Bones; including W.

When the reporter asked Mr. Geronimo why he believes this, he stated that he had a dream that his ancestor's remains were stolen. When pressed further, from whaat I gathered, there was little proof that the bbones were missing, much less possessed by anyone, much less possessed by Skull and Bones. Still, Mr. Geronimo is trying to get a sit down with President Bush to discuss this.

My first reaction was...beg pardon? A dream? A few nights ago, I dreamed I was talking to some of my high school football teammates in a condemned building in our home town, discussing how much it would snow that night. Does that mean I'm now qualified as a meterologist for The Weather Channel?

After thinking over this a bit more, it was so obvious(even though so unique) that Mr. Geronimo comes from such a different world viewpoint as those of us who are not Native American. Most of us do not believe that our dreams are glimpses into the future. Even if there are psychological findings that dreams reflect our conscious and unconscious minds, very few would offer creedence to the idea that our dreams should direct our specific actions...especially when they concern pursuing a meeting with the president.

Really? I'm glad Mr. Geronimo is doing this. It brings a new sprinkling of flavor to our modern world to believe and obey dreams. And...who's to say he's not right? If it turns out to be so, we should all pay a little more attention to the ways of the past. Until then, it just gives me some good internal feelings that there are people who don't see the world as black and white.

The World In Which We Live...

You pumped about the new Harry Potter stuff coming out next month? The final book and a new movie? No? Then I'll bet anything you haven't read a single book in the series.

Why? Because if you're anything like me, you were hooked from the first chapter of the first book! Harry appeals to the kid in all of us, and if you wannt to get all deep and philosophical, there are tons of ethical and moral dilemmas that Hary has to battle through, along with the usual issues of growing up. So, if you're not a Harry reader...consider it. I think you'll be glad you did.

Nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd. The bandwagon for the new Harry Potter is easy to jump on...especially since this final installment will be the biggest book release event of all time.

Now, you probably know all that...but did you know there are bookmakers in London(and probably Vegas, too) who are taking bets on who will die in this book? Yeah, a kids book! And bookies making bets on the demise of fictional characters? This is the world in which we live! And as long as kids are reading, this is a world I want to be in!

Now, THAT is a man!

Last night over dinner with my soon-to-be stepson, he told me a story he claimed to have heard on the radio that day. Jordan isn't the exaggerating type, but it sounded so farfetched that I wanted to read it for myself. So, after popping "bobcat attack" into google, I found it:

Florida Man Kills Attacking Rabid Bobcat With His Bare Hands!

Apparently, this 62 year old man lives aan hour north of Tampa. He was taking his garbage out when a bobcat walked up and growled at him. His instincts told him to be ready for an attack. He was. When the bobcat launched into him, he got scratched and bit several times...but not before he grabbed the animal around the neck and choked it to death.

If there was a way to drain just 1% of the testosterone out of this man and disperse it to the American male population, none of us dudes would ever have to go into Bed, Bath and Beyond ever again!

Do These...Or Go To Hell! Literally!

The Vatican has just released the Ten Commandments of Driving. Intelectually, we know these already; be courteous, don't drink and drive, text message while driving, put on make-up, don't road rage, etc.

What strikes me as funny is that cars have been around for a century. Autos have probably been the single biggest advancement(with the possible exception of computers) since the invention of the wheel.

Obviously, the Catholic church is issuing these 10 Commandments kind of tongue and cheek. Still, 100 years later? We know there are more cars on the road now than at any other time in history...is this why the Church has just now seen it necessary to direct Christians?

Either way, Catholic or not, religious or not, take a look at these and follow them-they could just save your life.

Sorry!

When I was a little kid, I was playing at a friend's house, right before we camped out in his backyard. Somehow, I managed to rip a small hole in the side of our tent. Darn those yard Jarts...if they don't put your eye out, they'll definitely make an entrance path for mosquitos!

As my friend's mom came out to see the damage to the tent, I felt horrible. It was an accident, and really, not a very bad one in the grand scheme of things.. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." spilled from my mouth. My friend, in his 8 year old wisdom, repeated some retarded phrase he'd heard somewhere before, "Sorry doesn't make up for it."

As a third grader, I didn't have the lawyerly ability to retort, "What DOES make up for it? Sackcloth and ashes? 20 Hail Marys? $50 for a new tent?"(not sure where I would have gotten the Hail Marys since neither of us was Catholic, but I digress...)

In the last couple of weeks, there have been two service providers who've had major snafus. In both cases, the representative said repeatedly, "I -Do- apologize..."(emphasize the "do", as if this makes it all right). I felt like my young friend and I wanted to say, "Sorry doesn't make up for it..."

Yet, I'd then have to answer my own question: what does?

In both cases, the reps thought their apology would right the wrong. But it doesn't. So, in both cases, the wrong has to be righted in another way. Two different situations with different outcomes, but it felt like both wanted to apologize, re-schedule their work and go on about their merry business.

I have a personal policy of doing everything in my power NOT to screw up someone else's plans, work, schedule, etc. I'm human, so of course it happens time to time. When it does, the first thing out of my mouth is an apology, an admission that I screwed up and several different offers of how I can make it right. Apologies without future actions are empty promises...and no one likes promises that aren't kept.

If We Wait...

Just before bbidding farewell to father's day, I caught a few minutes of Dateline or 48 Hours or one of those news shows. This episode featured a neghborhood of Vietnamese citizens of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Their neighborhood was destroyed along with many other parts of the Crescent City...but it was one of the first neighborhoods to get back on it's feet.

The reporter asked one of the recovery coordinators why the Vietnamese area of N'Orleans was well on the road to recovery when most everywhere else that Katrina touched were still floundering. His answer is a jewel! "In my country, if you wait for the government to do it for you, you'll never see the job complete."

Talk about empowerment and neighbors helping neighbors! These folks weren't the ones on the evening news talking about how awful the government is for only giving $2K on a debit card to hurricane victims-these are the people we should all emulate! Determined, humble and hardworking.

Been A While, eh?

Just back from an extended weekend; my first back in The Lou since the permanent move south. First off, congrats and Happy Father's Day to all the dads! Especially mine!
Second, congrats to the new Mr. and Mrs. Kit Norton. For those of you who've read "After This..." Kit is that guy I used to weightlift with back at Missouri State, both before and after I lost my sight. He's remained a close friend for the last dozen-plus years and I was honored to be a groomsman in his wedding yesterday. Congrats, Kit and Gina...many years of happiness and love to you both!

Also, while I was back in my old stomping grounds, I got to catch up with some of my relatives. Specifically, Marvelyne and I went to my grandmother's home where she presented us with our wedding gift-a hand quilted, well, quilt! My grandmother is an artiste extraordinaire with a thimble and needle when it comes to quilting and this gift was no exception.

I also got to catch up with my favorite nurse, Barb, who's son, Mark, passed away last week due to an aggressive form of cancer. It made me feel such humility to be in the presence of someone with such strength who has (and is) weathered such a storm. My sympathy and best wishes to Barb and her family.

Finally, today I got back to Orlando and walked in to my first father's day. True, our wedding isn't for another two weeks. Until then, I'm not a bona fide stepfather, but close enough for government work, eh? Thanks to Jordan and Maddi for welcoming me in as a parent! And to the rest of the fathers out there, again, congrats!

Sympathy

This morning, my favorite nurse's son passed away. Yesterday afternoon, I received word that my good friend, Travis, received some shocking news that his father had suddenly died. Both of these people were represented as characters in "After This..." because both Barb and Travis are a major piece of the reason I'm alive today. If you're the praying type, please throw out a few for both families. Thanks.

Dating Dilemmas

While surfing around, I just found a link advertising a dating web site-for those of a certain political party. Not a political persuasion, but a specific political party. And I asked myself...is this really a good idea?

Sociologists tell us that if a group of moderately like-minded individuals comes together, the tendency is for the cohesion of the group to become more centered around the mutually agreed upon cause...while at the same time, that "cause" becomes more strict, fundamental and narrow.

For example, let's say a group of environmentalists get together...not at a Greenpeace rally or anything, but let's just say they happen to meet at a cocktail hour. When the conversation turns to the state of the environment, their leaning becomes devout and that's what the individuals bond around. Next thing ya know, they're out chaining themselves to trees...when, had you asked them if they'd ever do anything rash, they'd honestly answer no.

Or, let's take the flip side. Example: a handfull of individuals meet through serendipity. Theyy are fairly conservative folks who lean towards the GOP. After some bonding time and feeling out where one another stands politically, the next thing ya know, they're out bombing abortion clinics.

Now, the examples I gave ar laughable and extreme. Yet, there is truth in how people bond to one idea more stronglyy when it's their only common ground.

Even with my fairly strong political leanings, I would never, EVER try to date someone I found through a web site based around a political affiliation. Reason? Well, by the time we'd be having dessert, the political landscape would be tattered with our extreme conversations. Thankfully, I'm not dating any more and don't have to worry about such things! Still, watch out for how extreme views creep in when there is only one item over which to bond.

There's Nothing That Can Be Done

This morning, a guy from the home warranty office stopped by. We showed him the small things with the house that need to be adjusted or repaired; simple caulking, squeaky doors, intercom system speakers thatt are scratchy, that sort of stuff.
When I pointed out carpet tacks sticking up; tacks that have bloodied my feet over the last couple of months, he said, "Yeah, there's nothing that can be done about that..."

I hate, HATE to hear those words come out of anyone's mouth, but especially someone who works in the service industry. The whole idea of service iss to be sure the customer gets what the customer needs. In this case, I need non-bloody feet. Can it be accomplished? "There's nothing that can be done about that..." Whatever, Beavis. A statement like this is the fastest way to lose the faith and respect of those you serve. And a better way to communicate it may be, "I'll see what I can do" or "This is a difficult problem to fix, but I'll give it my best effort."
Drawing that line of "There's nothing that can be done..." is simply giving up-and I want to work with people who will, at least, try.

Bring It On!

One of my long time buds, Dave, is a social worker at a residential care facility for severely abused children. I've done some pro bono work at this place and, I've gotta tell ya, you don't even want to hear stories about the crap these kids have been through unless you have a strong stomach. And really, not even then. If you sat me in a room and had me think up awful scenarios for a year, my tales still wouldn't equal the treatment these kids have endured.

A few weeks ago, we were playing poker and Dave was telling war stories from his work. Another friend asked, "Ya know, with kids this emotionally disturbed, do they ever make up lies and report you to the authorities?" Without a thought, Dave said, "Oh yeah, all the time. Usually happens a few times per year that some kid tells DFS I'm molesting them or something." The obvious question was asked, "So, what do you do then?" Dave said simply, " I tell them to bring it on! Sure! Come on in! Investigate all you want! I do nothing wrong and I have nothing to hide! Bring on your investigation!"

I don't think I have the fortitude to do Dave's job. I'm glad there are people like him so I don't have to. And I'm so happy he said, in so few words, what is a great way to conduct one's life: do nothing wrong and fear no prying eyes.

Every time we hear aboutt an investigation in Washington, there's someone trying to get a court order to stop it. Why? Unless there is something to hide, why not show the world? I've chosen to live life like Dave says: be transparent, do nothing illegal nor immoral and let anyone and everyone see whatever they want!

I Never Thought...

Last night, I got involved in what has become a Saturday night ritual: watching real crime mysteries. I know, I know...as a certified hater off the TV's ability to suck life right out of us, why would I spend an hour or two in front of such an object? Well, because this is the sorta TV that tickles my brain.

Last night was watching a show on cold cases; murders where the killers have never been brought to justice. This episode had to do with a killing of two African American teenagers in Mississippi in 1964. Members of the Klan were driving down the road, recognized the two boys, lied to them about who they were and the boys jumped into their truck...only to be drug into the woods, tied to a tree, beaten within an inch of their lives and then drowned in the Mississippi River. We've all heard the stories about lynchings and beatings in the south during the most difficult times, but for some reason, this struck me as worse. I'm not sure why-maybe it was the testimonies, maybe it was the fact they were near the spot where the boys were beaten, whatever. One of the Klansmen later reported to the FBI what had happened to finish off the young men. They were untied from the tree, thrown into the trunk of a car, driven to an island in the middle of the Mississippi River, tied to loose slabs of train track, then tossed in the river to drown.

Lacsidasical prosecutors, an unsympathetic community, the south in the middle of a civil rights movement, etc. etc....but there was never a conviction. Not even an indictment. The brother of one of the murdered boys now lives in Colorado Springs and was taken by the documentary crew to the town to try to find justice. It took 18 months and tons of trying, but they finally, finally got an indictment for the murders.

What struck me so much was the attitude of the brother. He said, "I never thought I could walk up to a white person and talk wth them...not here. Not in this town."

Yes, there is prejudice and racism in the world. We all know that. But to have lived through such a horrific event and put that fear behind him to go back to ind justice(especially some 40 years later) is a tenacity we all should admire.

We're Not the Perfect Family

Today I got an E mail from my soon-to-be new brother-in-law, Steve. He was writing to ask me to speak to his organization in the near future, but I was also glad to just hear from any of those in the family I'm marrying into. I've met Steve once and it was very brief, really nothing more than a handshake and an introduction.
So, at the end of his message, I was glad to read a P.S. It said, "We're definitely not the perfect family, but we're all we've got. Let's make the best of it and have fun"

Really, isn't this all we(or anyone) can do? We don't get to choose our family members. If that were the case, so many of us certainly wouldn't choose who we have! But family is one of the core units of our culture and the only way I know how to live is to help make those family ties knot as smoothly as possible.

Our Screwed Up Legal System

I've spent a decent amount of time watching the news this afternoon. I'm disgusted and in awe of just how off kilter our legal system is. First, the case of the murderer in Tennessee. Woman shot her husband in the back while he was slleeping. She received less than a year in jail,;time that can actually be spent in a mental institution. I'm nott a mental health expert(obviously) so I can't really comment on whether or not this sentence is harsh or not.
Now, Paris Hilton(I promise not to rant too much) was just re-sentenced to serve the rest of her sentence. 45 days.
I am a strong proponent of strong sentences. But is there something wrong in our legal world when a crime resulting in the death of another nets 270 days, and Paris' crime gets 45 days?I think so.

Illegal Drunk

In the last week, an illegal immigrant with a valid NC driver's license struck and killed another motorist while he had a BAC that was well, WELL over the presumptive legal limit.. There's all sorta stuff in the news talkshows about how we, as an American government, need to make it more difficult for undocumented workers to get drivers licenses. Plus, this brings up the whole argument of illegal iimmigration.
While I sat watching these reports, the age old question kept running through my mind: How do you keep ANYONE from getting behind the wheel? License or no, anyone with working body parts can turn the key, put the car into drive and roll on out to do whatever damage they might do. I don't see any reason to bring up more stringent regulations for obtaining licenses-just enforce the laws in place. And then? It will STILL not keep drunk individuals from getting behind the wheel. So, if people are this oblivious or have this much disregard for the law, the only thing we, as Americans can do is to demand more law enforcement on the streets.
Let's not get caught up in the sideline arguments when the real question here is the crime of DWI-not illegal immigration.

Spyco?

Safeco Insurance, based in Seattle, has a new thang called "Teensurance." In essence, Safeco gives parents(a.k.a. policy holders) a device the size of a Blackberry that is mounted inside the teen's car. Using GPS, the device will send a text message to the policy holder/parent if the teen driver speeds or strays from a designated area. Let's call this what it is: spying.

Spying is every parent's right, especially where cars are concerned. This goes double if the parent owns the car, holds the policy on the car's insurance and allows the teen to use the car at all. Kids aren't going to like it, sure. And then they have an option: get their own vehicle and buy their own insurance. Until then, parents have every right to know where their property is.
Would I have said this when I was 16? Or, is this just a reaction to being an almost stepparent? Actually, I was given TONS of liberty, car wise, when I was a teen. And I tried my best to respect that due to the fact I wasn't paying the insurance. Maybe it's a sign of the changing times about to take place in my life, but if property is purchased by anyone, that same anyone has all the rights to it.
And really, who are we kidding? Within a year, every cell phone and car manufactured in the states will probably have GPS capability. A good idea? This is up for debate, but it's certainly going to hold teens accountable.

Never Argue With A Woman

Heard this today and, being one of the only jokes I could actually put in this blog, thought I'd take advantage of the cleanliness. And, yes, of course my fiance reads! She edited my book, didn't she? *smile* Enjoy!

******************************
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and begins to read her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

We Didn't Receive The Book

As you've heard me talk about Mark DeWalle and his struggle with aggressive forms of cancer, there's another thing I was alerted to on his web site, markdewalle.com just this morning. His mom, Barb(a.k.a., my favorite nurse from my own medical struggles) blogged yesterday with the heading, "We Have Been Overruled." In essence, to protect Mark's strength, they decided to now only allow family in to see him. Mark overruled this and pointed out that this is kinda selfish. Upon further consideration, Barb agreed and said, "We didn't receive the book on how to do this."
We all know that a book on how to help someone in his final days probably doesn't exist. Or, it doesn't cover stuff like this. But then, with all the self help and personal development books that DO exist, these situations-these struggles with life and the ultimate end of life- there is no guidance. All one can do is chart their own course.
If you feel insulted by the actions of others as you try to help, remember what Barb said here: They didn't receive the book.

Have You No Shame?

I was just reading through an industry publicationn for speakers. There's a speaker who everyone in the industry(the world?) knows or, at least, knows of. This speaker just sent in a "tip" for getting your wireless card upgraded for your laptop.
He said if you have your wireless card through XYZ cell phone provider, E mail them and tell them their card isn't compatible with your new Vista operating system. Then, they'll send you a "voucher" to go to the nearest cell phone store, present the voucher for an upgraded card.
This is all kosher so far...until he tells the reader that the new card for the newest MS operating system allso works with the old XP system. In essence, the less than ethical reader now has a way to screw the cell phone company out of a new card...with an outright lie.
I wouldn't be one of the people who would take advantage of this loophole, but I find it really, really curious that such a high profile individual would put out a tip that is so unethical. Maybe I'm the oddball, but I certainly can't understand lying and cheating being associated with my name. Hence, I just don't lie and cheat. Makes it easier to live.

70 Years Since the Hat Toss

This morning on NPR, there was a segment about South High School in Lima, OHH. Today, the class of 1937 is celebrating their 70th class reunion. 70 years. Wow!
What's better, the class representative being interviewed talked about how much fun the class had in high school. Keep in mind that this was smack dab in the midst of the Great Depression.. Still, the dozen or so classmates that will show up to today's reunion don't seem to focus on the fact that their high school years were spent fighting through the biggest downturn in the American economic cycle, but rather, they focused on the things kids should focus on-dates, basketball games, studying, etc.
Plus, maybe it's just me, but I think it's the cutest thing in the world to see folks who are in the twilight years still embracing and loving life with all the vitality and energy they had as youngsters. Cheers to the South High School Class of '37!

Not Many People...

Sometime last week, the exterminator showed up to do their first treatment for spiders and such. I was kind of surprised when the bug guy turned out to be a bug girl. I was even more surprised when she came in the house, shook my hand, saw Carson's harness hanging on the front door knob and asked, "Is this a Seeing Eye dog?" She then said that her son had a Canine Companion dog prior to his passing(her son, not the dog).
My heart goes out to anyone who loses a child. That simply should not happen-adults and parents should NOT outlive their kids. We talked a little more and when I explained my blindness was due to a car crash, she shared a horrible crash she'd been in as a teenager. We talked a little more and, before she left, I handed her a copy of my book. As she flipped the book over and read the synopsis on the back, her voice dropped. "A drunk driver did this to you?" I guess I'd left that part of the story out. At this point, she started to break into tears.
I've been around some folks who get emotional at hearing my loss of sight, but this was...different. Turns out, this girl's sister had been driving while intoxicated several months ago and injured another person. The very next day, her sis was being sentenced. Awful. Just awful. "I want her to read this...I hope she'll learn something from it...if the crash didn't teach her already." I concurred and I really do hope she'll share it.
A few days later, I got an incredibly sweet E mail from this bug girl. In it, she thanked me, cited some passages from the book that spoke to her and said how she'd love me to visit the kids and nurses at the nursing home where her son lived his final years.
However, that wasn't the part that kicked me in the heart. She said, "Thank you for taking the time to talk to me...not many people talk to a bug girl."

I understand that there are people in the world who look at others as less. I understand that the have nots of society are sometimes viewed as irrelevant by the haves. I know that many people think that because of their position in life, it gives them license to treat others like dirt. I understand this happens-but I freaking hate it. Why do I hate it? Because it's the way I'm sometimes treated due to my blindness. Did I do anything special for this girl? In my book, no. In her book, yes. But the truth is, we all, ALL should simply treat others like we want to be treated(don't quote me on this, I'm pretty sure it's plagarized).
If you're in the greater Orlando area and want a sweetheart to take care of your extermination needs, let me know-I've got the girl for you.

I Like Facts

Okay, I have absolutely no interest in Rosie O'Donnell, Elizabeth nor anything to do with The View. I care not for celebrity opinions on world events...unless those opinions are based in facts and logic.
However, unless you've been in a comatose state for the last couple of weeks, you've probably had to endure the endless speculation over the spats on The View. Again, I've never watched an episode of this show and, God willing, I never will.
Tonight, however, I was watching 24 hour news and it was one of the segments: what will Rosie do now? I don't care. I don't care what she did before. But when watching the clip of Rosie and Elizabeth having their feud, I've gotta say, no rational human being can argue with Rosie O'Donnel on these matters. The thing I liked the most was Elizabeth saying, "I like facts." Basing an opinion on facts and not emotions is key to any healthy, rational adult's existence.
I've got pretty strong views on political situations of the world, too, but I base these opinions in fact and logic, not emotions. I'm happy to listen to the varying opinions of anyone(and I do mean anyone) provided they can discuss topics without getting overly emotional and without basing their points strictly on what they feel, not how they think.

Acceptable Levels of Risk

Have you heard about this yahoo with TB who took a trans-Atlantic flight AGAINST his doc's orders? He has a highly resistant form of TB, was told by his physicians not to travel in a commercial airliner due to his level of contagiousness. Well, he did anyway. Now, people from the plane are being tested and everyone's fate is kinda up in the air. There are people on TV who are just blasting him left and right for his selfish decision to risk infecting innocent people.
When asked why he took the risk, he said that with his info, he didn't think it was a problem. Hmmm, others sure did!
What is so irritating is the bigger picture here. People are all up in arms about his selfish choice...yet, on any given weekend night, an abnormally high number of drunks are driving down the same streets as you. Do people get up in arms? Hold press conferences? Nope. And that is a level of risk that almost every DWI driver will say was a risk theyy took-a limited risk. "I didn't think I was unsafe to drive" or "I was only on back streets" or "I was the soberest person in our group." Whatever. There is no excuse for either behavior. In fact, there is no excuse whatsoever for risking the safety and well being of any other human being. Period.