"Anyone can become angry, that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way, this is not easy."
-Aristotle
Currently reading "Emotional Intelligence" by Dan Goleman. Wow, what an awesome concept! And one that has rung true with me for so long!
See, Goleman's idea is that IQ only measures academic intelligence. Yet, we put so much emphasis on intelligence by judging someone by his/her I.Q. Goleman says...this is bunk! True, IQ has it's place, but in the big picture, one's IQ/academic intelligence only accounts for so much. Say, 20% of a person's ability to be successful in his/her humanity.
What does this mean? Well, E.Q. is combined of several aspects; self awareness, tenacity, the ability to control one's emotions, etc. What we'd normally call someone is "mature." Think of an immature spoiled brat who can't fill any piece of the previously mentioned Aristotle's Challenge. Know any adults like that, too? Sure you do! They're everywhere! And they're all low on the E.Q. scale! After all, there are a lot of adults who act like spoiled brat children!
A person with moderate intelligence who is able to feel, understand, articulate and control his/her emotions is bound for a much more successful life than someone with a much higher I.Q.
One of Goleman's examples is from a case that took place here in Florida. A student in a high school physics class receives 80% on a quiz. This is the lowest score said student has ever had. He feels the low grade is the fault of the teacher, so he carries a butcher's knife to school to kill him. In the student's mind, this B grade will keep him out of Harvard...and it's all the teacher's fault! For this, in the student's mind...the teacher must die. The student succeeds in stabbing the teacher, but the altercation is interrupted before anyone dies. The student was tried and found not guilty by reason of temporary insanity. That's the story in a nutshell. How could a student with a weighted GPA over 4.5 make such a stupid summation and choice? Easy, says Goleman, low E.Q.
Know anyone like this? Sure you do! I know several people who are potential members of Mensa, but can't hold a steady job. So, what's all them smarts really doing for them? They can win at Jeopardy if they ever get on, I guess!
Long before I'd heard of E.Q., I've pondered that successful people aren't always the smartest people. Degrees don't necessarily determine whether or not someone is smart. Hell, I know a few M.D.s who I wouldn't trust to watch Carson - they're just that irresponsible and flighty. All part of E.Q.? Maybe... and you'll mostly be able to tell someones E.Q. by conversing with them. If they can articulate what they are feeling in a calm, controlled manner and search out solutions that make sense, balancing the feelings of all parties involved, then you've got someone with high E.Q.
I don't claim to have high E.Q. Okay, maybe I do. Somewhere along the way, I chose to make every major decision in life built on logic and rationality. Do I always do this? Maybe not always, but close... I really try. Why? Because to do anything less is a certain way to get one place: no where!
If you're the cerebral type, pick up a copy of "Emotional Intelligence." I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the things you learn!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
How Come It Can't Be Just "A Guy?"
A few days ago, I got an inquiry from an acquaintance about a problem his daughter was having. His daughter is a student at a large university in the mid-west and has what he called "a stalker."
I'm not there. I don't even know his daughter. I've never been to this school. Since I work with schools across the country and often work in the fraternity and sorority system, he asked my help.
"She's been stalked and harassed by this frat guy. He's been peeping on her dorm room and has followed her around campus."
My advice was first, call the cops. Stalking isn't to be taken lighttly. Second, call campus security-they can get there fastest if there's another incident. Third (and what he was callling for), talk to the director of fraternity/sorority life at the college.
This is a horrible situation. Period. Yet, as with anything that goes wrong on a campus, it seems like the first people to get pointed at are the fraternity members (not so much with sororities since their reputation isn't as bad). I mean, even if a student in question does something wrong, the media will often phrase it as "a fraternity prank." That affiliation carries a reputation from the days of Animal House when Greek Life was different than today.
This is all the more reason why fraternity/sorority members are held to a higher standard. Unfair as that association is, it's still there.
I'm not there. I don't even know his daughter. I've never been to this school. Since I work with schools across the country and often work in the fraternity and sorority system, he asked my help.
"She's been stalked and harassed by this frat guy. He's been peeping on her dorm room and has followed her around campus."
My advice was first, call the cops. Stalking isn't to be taken lighttly. Second, call campus security-they can get there fastest if there's another incident. Third (and what he was callling for), talk to the director of fraternity/sorority life at the college.
This is a horrible situation. Period. Yet, as with anything that goes wrong on a campus, it seems like the first people to get pointed at are the fraternity members (not so much with sororities since their reputation isn't as bad). I mean, even if a student in question does something wrong, the media will often phrase it as "a fraternity prank." That affiliation carries a reputation from the days of Animal House when Greek Life was different than today.
This is all the more reason why fraternity/sorority members are held to a higher standard. Unfair as that association is, it's still there.
Doing Something You Love...And Getting Paid For It!
Do you like your job? Do you love it?
This question was the topic of discussion between some buds recently. Of the four at the table, I was the only person who loved his job(go figure). Two liked their jobs-they didn't dread going to work, but it wasn't their ultimate passion. One Negative Nancy was the only person to say he hated his job. Is that an accurate representation of the American work force? One quarter love their jobs, one quarter hate them, and half are okay enough not to quit. Does that seem accurate to you?
This is highly, HIGHLY unscientific, as you may expect. Still, I think it may be a commentary on mindsets more than job satisfaction. Like, 25% of Americans are negative, constantly unhappy personalities. Of course, this means that attitude will carry over to their outlook on their career.
Anyway, that really has nothing to do with anything! Except that today the news showed a clip about some people who really love what they do. And they should! Not everyone gets the chance to be a professional video gamer!
What? Pro gamers? Yep! Believe it or not, there are several national tournaments with teams from around the country. Each player makes a $30K salary, with the potential for big bonuses if their team wins. One world championship even has a half million dollar purse for the winning team!
I guess when you think about this, it's not all that much different than pro athletes(real athletes, not just those who have fast and strong thumbs). Still, who'd have thunk people could get paid to sit and play games?
One gamer, a 20 year old named Vanessa, stated, "It's always great to get to do something you love and get paid for it!" Amen, sister! Me and the other 25% of Americans in my highly unscientific survey agree with you!
This question was the topic of discussion between some buds recently. Of the four at the table, I was the only person who loved his job(go figure). Two liked their jobs-they didn't dread going to work, but it wasn't their ultimate passion. One Negative Nancy was the only person to say he hated his job. Is that an accurate representation of the American work force? One quarter love their jobs, one quarter hate them, and half are okay enough not to quit. Does that seem accurate to you?
This is highly, HIGHLY unscientific, as you may expect. Still, I think it may be a commentary on mindsets more than job satisfaction. Like, 25% of Americans are negative, constantly unhappy personalities. Of course, this means that attitude will carry over to their outlook on their career.
Anyway, that really has nothing to do with anything! Except that today the news showed a clip about some people who really love what they do. And they should! Not everyone gets the chance to be a professional video gamer!
What? Pro gamers? Yep! Believe it or not, there are several national tournaments with teams from around the country. Each player makes a $30K salary, with the potential for big bonuses if their team wins. One world championship even has a half million dollar purse for the winning team!
I guess when you think about this, it's not all that much different than pro athletes(real athletes, not just those who have fast and strong thumbs). Still, who'd have thunk people could get paid to sit and play games?
One gamer, a 20 year old named Vanessa, stated, "It's always great to get to do something you love and get paid for it!" Amen, sister! Me and the other 25% of Americans in my highly unscientific survey agree with you!
Friday, September 28, 2007
Candidate Calculator
During the 04 election, I heard a great idea that I've subscribed to ever since. When someone asks you about your political views, don't answer. At least, not in the traditional way people usually answer. If you say you're a Republican, you're quickly lumped in with the Rush Limbaughs and Pat Robertsons of the world; judgemental, unfeeling and stingy. If you answer that you're a Democrat, then you're quickly lumped in with the Michael Moores and moveon.org crowd. See what I'm getting at? It seems people have no idea what moderation is any more, so upon your answer, you'll be thrown in with the most polar viewpoint.
Now, here's the idea: Force the asker to inquire on your specific beliefs. Chances are, when you answer on each individual topic, it'll show a greatly different view than the previously mentioned polar opposite. And really, if your opinion matches perfectly with that of the GOP or the Dems, issue by issue, point by point, all the way down the line, then you're either one of the polar people in question, or you're a Kool-Aid drinking lemming.
So, it was way cool this morning when I opened my E mail and discovered this:
"Candidate Calculator"
This Candidate Calculator asks your opinion, issue by issue, and asks you to rate how important each issue is to you. At the end, it'll tell you which of the current candidates you align most closely with, and what percentage you and the candidate both agree on.
I love this! What a way to keep people honest! Okay, maybe not... it IS politics after all, and honesty seems to have no place in the political world, unfortunately. Still, when you take the test blindly(i.e., to really try to see who you match with), you may get a very different view than you thought! And drop me an E mail when you do... I'd love to see where everyone stands!
Now, here's the idea: Force the asker to inquire on your specific beliefs. Chances are, when you answer on each individual topic, it'll show a greatly different view than the previously mentioned polar opposite. And really, if your opinion matches perfectly with that of the GOP or the Dems, issue by issue, point by point, all the way down the line, then you're either one of the polar people in question, or you're a Kool-Aid drinking lemming.
So, it was way cool this morning when I opened my E mail and discovered this:
"Candidate Calculator"
This Candidate Calculator asks your opinion, issue by issue, and asks you to rate how important each issue is to you. At the end, it'll tell you which of the current candidates you align most closely with, and what percentage you and the candidate both agree on.
I love this! What a way to keep people honest! Okay, maybe not... it IS politics after all, and honesty seems to have no place in the political world, unfortunately. Still, when you take the test blindly(i.e., to really try to see who you match with), you may get a very different view than you thought! And drop me an E mail when you do... I'd love to see where everyone stands!
Playing That Card
If you've met me, you know I'm highly unlikely to ever play the "disability card." This is what friends and I have coined as the privledges I may get to go to the front of the line due to having a disability, or having a handicapped hang tag for the car, etc. Every once in a while, a situation calls for taking advantage of this privledge, but for the most part, I try to keep my blindness as a non-issue.
Well, yesterday was a day to end all days. My lovely wife and I went to the DMV to get a handicapped hang tag. It's rare that we'd use it, and definitely not when there's not ample handicapped parking, but like I said before, certain times call for it. You know the DMV-outdated equipment, idiotic workers, bureaucratic nightmare...ya know, typical government.
Let me give you a couple of examples why I, a blind guy who doesn't drive/own a car/have bodily disabilities, would desire a hang tag. First, much of it is due to Carson, my Seeing Eye dog. Parking lots are dangerous places. No sidewalks, cars flowing every which way, people paying attention to the closest empty space-NOT the people walking around. Plus, it's Florida, it's hot, and the pavement can burn the skin off a dog's feet if you don't watch out. If I'm in winter somewhere else, the more I can minimize the chemicals and salts put down for ice, the better the health of Carson(dogs DO like to lick their feet, ya know?) If it's raining, while strapping on C's harness, I'm out in it a lot longer AND I can't just make a sprint for the closest entrance. 90% of the time, I'm carrying my laptop and rain and electronics don't mix. So, again, will I use the hang tag? In certain situations, yes. But c'mon...I'm not the guy who'll abuse that courtesy.
Still, at the DMV yesterday, I was made to feel like I was trying to crack into Fort Knox. The state of FL offers an additional hang tag if you have multiple vehicles, etc. Of course, I do a lot of travelling and would like to take a hang tag with me when I go. If it's raining some tropical depression and we park in handicapped when leaving Orlando, I'd like to be able to park in handicapped when I reach Detroit in January and there's salt all over the parking lot. To do this, it was pointed out by the DMV worker that I don't drive and I don't own a car(never mind the fact I'm there with my wife and she does both). The DMV worker then whips out an affidavit I must sign multiple times. It says I swear that I travel at least four times per month. Fair enough. I sign. Then comes the lecture.
If my wife and I park at a store in handicapped parking, I must, MUST get out of the car. No one can park in handicapped unless I'm with them. Even to just run in the store ffor a few minutes, no one can do it.
To this I say, "Duh!"
I understand there is something a little odd about a blind guy who doesn't drive nor own a car applying for a hang tag. On first glance, it appears futile. But DMV workers deal with this every day. I don't like getting the evil eye as if I'm trying to pull one over on the state. Please. If I was going to try to fleece someone, I'd find a better way to do it.
We can place the blame on the bureaucratic nature of government, on the oddity of a blind dude with a handicapped hang tag or solely at the feet of the woman who waited on us. Either way, the stereotypical DMV experience lives on.
Well, yesterday was a day to end all days. My lovely wife and I went to the DMV to get a handicapped hang tag. It's rare that we'd use it, and definitely not when there's not ample handicapped parking, but like I said before, certain times call for it. You know the DMV-outdated equipment, idiotic workers, bureaucratic nightmare...ya know, typical government.
Let me give you a couple of examples why I, a blind guy who doesn't drive/own a car/have bodily disabilities, would desire a hang tag. First, much of it is due to Carson, my Seeing Eye dog. Parking lots are dangerous places. No sidewalks, cars flowing every which way, people paying attention to the closest empty space-NOT the people walking around. Plus, it's Florida, it's hot, and the pavement can burn the skin off a dog's feet if you don't watch out. If I'm in winter somewhere else, the more I can minimize the chemicals and salts put down for ice, the better the health of Carson(dogs DO like to lick their feet, ya know?) If it's raining, while strapping on C's harness, I'm out in it a lot longer AND I can't just make a sprint for the closest entrance. 90% of the time, I'm carrying my laptop and rain and electronics don't mix. So, again, will I use the hang tag? In certain situations, yes. But c'mon...I'm not the guy who'll abuse that courtesy.
Still, at the DMV yesterday, I was made to feel like I was trying to crack into Fort Knox. The state of FL offers an additional hang tag if you have multiple vehicles, etc. Of course, I do a lot of travelling and would like to take a hang tag with me when I go. If it's raining some tropical depression and we park in handicapped when leaving Orlando, I'd like to be able to park in handicapped when I reach Detroit in January and there's salt all over the parking lot. To do this, it was pointed out by the DMV worker that I don't drive and I don't own a car(never mind the fact I'm there with my wife and she does both). The DMV worker then whips out an affidavit I must sign multiple times. It says I swear that I travel at least four times per month. Fair enough. I sign. Then comes the lecture.
If my wife and I park at a store in handicapped parking, I must, MUST get out of the car. No one can park in handicapped unless I'm with them. Even to just run in the store ffor a few minutes, no one can do it.
To this I say, "Duh!"
I understand there is something a little odd about a blind guy who doesn't drive nor own a car applying for a hang tag. On first glance, it appears futile. But DMV workers deal with this every day. I don't like getting the evil eye as if I'm trying to pull one over on the state. Please. If I was going to try to fleece someone, I'd find a better way to do it.
We can place the blame on the bureaucratic nature of government, on the oddity of a blind dude with a handicapped hang tag or solely at the feet of the woman who waited on us. Either way, the stereotypical DMV experience lives on.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
More On Forgiveness
Thanks to all who wrote and commented on the Marcus Engel Newsletter for September. Wow, what awesome responses I got back! One was from a psychologist who I'll ask for permission to reprint his comments...very, very enlightening since he works with many victims of sexual abuse. Second, my good Miniwanca/Merrowvista friend, Zoe!, reminded me that just this past Saturday was the Jewish holy day of Yom Kippur. She took the time to explain that one of the biggest parts of Yom Kippur is recognizing all the wrong we've personally done and trying to obtain forgiveness and reconciliation for it. Thanks Zoe! for the insight!
However, one of the best E mails I got was from a retired English teacher from Tennessee. Mrs. Mackey told me about how her son committed suicide over 20 years ago as a teenager and how, just a few years later, her husband passed away. She joked about the pop psychology idea of closure...which, I agree, is kinda ridiculous since closure means an end. There's never an end to memories. Iis closure impossible then? I don't know for sure, but it works once again as a vital part of forgiveness.
I do a ton, A TON of E mailing. Every once in a while, I'm in contact with someone who, just from their words on a screen, I know I could really click with. Mrs. Mackey is one of these people. I was so excited to hear her take on simply accepting reality and moving on that we've had several E conversations since first receiving her message yesterday. Plus, I look forward to meeting her sometime when I'm up in TN.
Again, thanks to all who gave me some additional food for thought! Glad to know folks are reading my stuff!
However, one of the best E mails I got was from a retired English teacher from Tennessee. Mrs. Mackey told me about how her son committed suicide over 20 years ago as a teenager and how, just a few years later, her husband passed away. She joked about the pop psychology idea of closure...which, I agree, is kinda ridiculous since closure means an end. There's never an end to memories. Iis closure impossible then? I don't know for sure, but it works once again as a vital part of forgiveness.
I do a ton, A TON of E mailing. Every once in a while, I'm in contact with someone who, just from their words on a screen, I know I could really click with. Mrs. Mackey is one of these people. I was so excited to hear her take on simply accepting reality and moving on that we've had several E conversations since first receiving her message yesterday. Plus, I look forward to meeting her sometime when I'm up in TN.
Again, thanks to all who gave me some additional food for thought! Glad to know folks are reading my stuff!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Unfair Press Once Again
Last year, one of my favorite clients was St. Louis Community College at Meremac. The Meremac campus was five minutes from my front door(that beats flying cross country), but the folks who hosted me in the Disability Support Services Office are just steller individuals. I was keynoting at Meramec in recognition of their achievement day for students with disabilities. These students have overcame some great challenges to not only complete their education, but thrive with great grades and school involvement. If every school put this much of an investment into their students with disabilities, the awareness portion of my keynote could be eliminated entirely!
St. Louis Community College at Meramec is a sister institution with the other St. Louis Community Colleges, around half a dozen other campuses. They all act under the same leadership but, as my clients explained, are more like family.
Today on the STL NBC affiliate, there was a news story about the St. Louis Community College at Florissant Valley not accomodating students with learning disabilities. The report was done just like all other investigative reports; with an agenda to make someone look bad. I've not been to Flo Valley to speak, have never had their DSS office as a client. I do know, however, that this isn't par for the course through the STLCCs I've worked with in the past. After all, one member of their family brought me in(and that ain't cheap) to show their students how appreciated they are. Does Mike Owens and the Channel 5 news crew have a point? Maybe, but to really learn the facts, I'd have to do some investigations of my own.
In the meantime, if you're considering one of the SLCCs, keep considering it. With media bias and a slanted viewpoint, you shouldn't believe everything that comes across the tube. Those haven't been my experiences at all. Just a little good publicity for an institution that's getting hammered by the media right now.
http://www.ksdk.com/video/default.aspx?aid=59365&bw
St. Louis Community College at Meramec is a sister institution with the other St. Louis Community Colleges, around half a dozen other campuses. They all act under the same leadership but, as my clients explained, are more like family.
Today on the STL NBC affiliate, there was a news story about the St. Louis Community College at Florissant Valley not accomodating students with learning disabilities. The report was done just like all other investigative reports; with an agenda to make someone look bad. I've not been to Flo Valley to speak, have never had their DSS office as a client. I do know, however, that this isn't par for the course through the STLCCs I've worked with in the past. After all, one member of their family brought me in(and that ain't cheap) to show their students how appreciated they are. Does Mike Owens and the Channel 5 news crew have a point? Maybe, but to really learn the facts, I'd have to do some investigations of my own.
In the meantime, if you're considering one of the SLCCs, keep considering it. With media bias and a slanted viewpoint, you shouldn't believe everything that comes across the tube. Those haven't been my experiences at all. Just a little good publicity for an institution that's getting hammered by the media right now.
http://www.ksdk.com/video/default.aspx?aid=59365&bw
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The Good War?
Ken Burns' "The War" documentary has begun airing on PBS. After watching an interview with him this morning, I wanted to learn more about the documentary. I'm a big history buff anyway, but when I searched out some info on this film, I was blown away.
Burns makes an interesting point. Every war since WWII has had major conflict. Korea was a "police action", as was Vietnam. There was plenty of well-founded dissention amongst the public over both these wars. Then, we are all too aware of how much conflict there is over the war in Iraq. But WWII? We were all on the same team. There weren't liberals and conservatives who were polarized like they are today. There weren't red and blue states-just Americans. As awful as World War II was, there is something solid, comforting and patriotic about an experience Americans lived together, all working towards the same purpose. Now? It's just sad.
Secondly, due to all the conflicts over the Korean War until today's battles in the sandbox, World War II is still looked at as "the good war." When we all knew what we were fighting for, when we all wanted the same end, when people were more interested in the preservation of America than which political leaders they aligned with. The good war....
and yet? Here's the shocker for me...in reading the review of the documentary, Burns tells that the second World War left nearly 60 million people dead. 60 million! Can we even imagine a number that large? 60 million. God. I just can't get over that number. 60 million...just that number makes me want to learn more. This event that literally rocked the world in a way it'd never been changed.
I hate that some people forget just how big tragedies are. We're all just too accustomed to tragedy. Flip on the news any night of the week and you'll see several. But something as big as WWII simply cannot EVER be forgotten. I want to do my part in helping keep the memory of this horror alive...and so I'll educate myself a little more by watching this. I hope you'll consider it, too.
Burns makes an interesting point. Every war since WWII has had major conflict. Korea was a "police action", as was Vietnam. There was plenty of well-founded dissention amongst the public over both these wars. Then, we are all too aware of how much conflict there is over the war in Iraq. But WWII? We were all on the same team. There weren't liberals and conservatives who were polarized like they are today. There weren't red and blue states-just Americans. As awful as World War II was, there is something solid, comforting and patriotic about an experience Americans lived together, all working towards the same purpose. Now? It's just sad.
Secondly, due to all the conflicts over the Korean War until today's battles in the sandbox, World War II is still looked at as "the good war." When we all knew what we were fighting for, when we all wanted the same end, when people were more interested in the preservation of America than which political leaders they aligned with. The good war....
and yet? Here's the shocker for me...in reading the review of the documentary, Burns tells that the second World War left nearly 60 million people dead. 60 million! Can we even imagine a number that large? 60 million. God. I just can't get over that number. 60 million...just that number makes me want to learn more. This event that literally rocked the world in a way it'd never been changed.
I hate that some people forget just how big tragedies are. We're all just too accustomed to tragedy. Flip on the news any night of the week and you'll see several. But something as big as WWII simply cannot EVER be forgotten. I want to do my part in helping keep the memory of this horror alive...and so I'll educate myself a little more by watching this. I hope you'll consider it, too.
Walter Cronkite's Revolutions
Watching several different morning news programs this morning, I'm continually amazed at just how strange the idea of morning journalism is. If you think about the traditional morning news shows, Today, Good Morning America, etc., the anchors are always so informal. Can you imagine having Brian Williams or Ted Koeppel(back in the day) sitting around on a couch, yucking it up while sucking down java?
Morning news programs are just embarassing. I just think if people want to have a lighthearted laugh while watching the day's headlines, they'll flip on The Daily Show. Just an interesting dynamic I've noticed over my morning coffee.
Morning news programs are just embarassing. I just think if people want to have a lighthearted laugh while watching the day's headlines, they'll flip on The Daily Show. Just an interesting dynamic I've noticed over my morning coffee.
Pom PomGate?
Last week, the NFL commissioner sent out a memo to all 32 teams stating the team cheerleaders will no longer be allowed too distract the opposing team's players. Say what?
According to, well, evvery sports report I've read, the NFL claims the cheerleaders will no longer be allowed to warm up, stretch, do practice routines or anything that'd be remotely distracting in the tunnel for the opposing team.
In a game between the Skins and the Patriots, a player claimed he was so distracted by the antics of the opposing team's cheerleaders that he couldn't perform on the field. Again, say what?
Okay, I'm originally from St. Louis-the place with the Edward Jones Dome. The Dome is considered one of the hardest places to play in because the volume is so excessive. And it's so common before NFL games to have hours and hours of tailgate parties sponsored by alcohol companies and bars and restaurants. Never mind the fact there are 20K drunken fans screaming at the top of their lungs...we've gotta get those sexy chicks away from the players!
Dear God. What are we? Back in caveman days? Are women simply known for their bodies used to tempt men? And are men so easily distracted where we constantly have our attention diverted from the job to the closest tight end(little football humor there!).
This whole thing really makes us take a step back in our evolution as human beings. If we were animals that had to be separated to control the breeding and overpopulation of earth, it'd be one thing. We're not. And the NFL shouldn't have to tell the little girlies to get away from the big boys so they can play their game. Yeesh. You'd think a guy getting paid hundreds of thousands of bucks per year would be able to focus, wouldn't you?
According to, well, evvery sports report I've read, the NFL claims the cheerleaders will no longer be allowed to warm up, stretch, do practice routines or anything that'd be remotely distracting in the tunnel for the opposing team.
In a game between the Skins and the Patriots, a player claimed he was so distracted by the antics of the opposing team's cheerleaders that he couldn't perform on the field. Again, say what?
Okay, I'm originally from St. Louis-the place with the Edward Jones Dome. The Dome is considered one of the hardest places to play in because the volume is so excessive. And it's so common before NFL games to have hours and hours of tailgate parties sponsored by alcohol companies and bars and restaurants. Never mind the fact there are 20K drunken fans screaming at the top of their lungs...we've gotta get those sexy chicks away from the players!
Dear God. What are we? Back in caveman days? Are women simply known for their bodies used to tempt men? And are men so easily distracted where we constantly have our attention diverted from the job to the closest tight end(little football humor there!).
This whole thing really makes us take a step back in our evolution as human beings. If we were animals that had to be separated to control the breeding and overpopulation of earth, it'd be one thing. We're not. And the NFL shouldn't have to tell the little girlies to get away from the big boys so they can play their game. Yeesh. You'd think a guy getting paid hundreds of thousands of bucks per year would be able to focus, wouldn't you?
Monday, September 24, 2007
Good Luck, Chuck
A few nights ago, I took the family out to the movies. A couple of points come to mind when I think of this little outing:
First, both the wife and I were absolutely flipping exhausted Saturday night. I wanted to take a bath and watch some TV and be asleep by 10 p.m. Didn't happen that way. The kids wanted to go to a movie and, well, I'm a softie. So, we went. As always, you regret more the things you didn't do than those you did. Very glad we went to the movies because we all laughed our butts off at Dane Cook in Good Luck Chuck.
Second, let me give a little synopsis of the flick:
Dane Cook plays a bachelor who was "hexxed" by some little Goth girl when he was 10 years old. During a knock down, drag out game of spin the bottle, Dane's character got placed with a girl who he wasn't at all interested in kissing. When she got rejected, she used her powers to hex him into never finding love. Yet, the strange thing was, after Dane's character slept with a woman, the next man she'd meet would be her true love. Hence, Dane's adult character had gaggles of women lining up to sleep with him...not because of he himself, but because they wanted to find their dream man. So, Dane's character, Chuck, is going at it like a rabbit with hundreds of women....until, as in all good love stories, he finds a girl-THE girl. He then realizes all the casual sex he's been having isn't fulfilling and wants to get with "the girl"...but how do you hook up with her when tthe hex is in place? Of course, if he goes too far with her, it means the next man after Chuck will be her true love. Oh, the dilemmas!
When we got home, Marvelyne and I were discussing the movie. She made a good point that led to an interesting discussion; Dane/Chuck found out he wasn't satisfied by all the casual sex, but there was not point 1 made about it being wrong or emotionally harmful or anything less than, well, just sex.
In our world, morality is kind of a sliding scale. We can't place our morality on other people or else we're not being accepting and understanding(or so some would have us believe) There was an entire scene where Dane's character is just making it with woman after woman after woman...and the worst thing? It has nothing to do with Dane/Chuck as a person, nor is it about the woman as a person-it's a means to an end. The women want to get past Dane/Chuck...some so quick that they have dinner plans with someone immediately after they do the deed. Dane is just enjoying it, but is really looking for something more. So, it's the typical case of using another human being.
One may argue that Dane's character and the women are all adults partaking in consentual, safe sexual relationships. And one may be right. I still have to wonder if it's healthy emotionally(and yes, I DO realize this is a fictional movie), but it's not so different from how some people live. Is it emotionally healthy to try to rack up as many partners as possible? Is it emotionally healthy to use another person, for either party? Is it emotionally healthy to bolster one's ego like this?
I'll let Dr. Drew or Dr. Ruth be the judge of this. Or other experts who know human psychie better than I. Still, interesting food for thought when you're spending a Saturday night at the movies.
First, both the wife and I were absolutely flipping exhausted Saturday night. I wanted to take a bath and watch some TV and be asleep by 10 p.m. Didn't happen that way. The kids wanted to go to a movie and, well, I'm a softie. So, we went. As always, you regret more the things you didn't do than those you did. Very glad we went to the movies because we all laughed our butts off at Dane Cook in Good Luck Chuck.
Second, let me give a little synopsis of the flick:
Dane Cook plays a bachelor who was "hexxed" by some little Goth girl when he was 10 years old. During a knock down, drag out game of spin the bottle, Dane's character got placed with a girl who he wasn't at all interested in kissing. When she got rejected, she used her powers to hex him into never finding love. Yet, the strange thing was, after Dane's character slept with a woman, the next man she'd meet would be her true love. Hence, Dane's adult character had gaggles of women lining up to sleep with him...not because of he himself, but because they wanted to find their dream man. So, Dane's character, Chuck, is going at it like a rabbit with hundreds of women....until, as in all good love stories, he finds a girl-THE girl. He then realizes all the casual sex he's been having isn't fulfilling and wants to get with "the girl"...but how do you hook up with her when tthe hex is in place? Of course, if he goes too far with her, it means the next man after Chuck will be her true love. Oh, the dilemmas!
When we got home, Marvelyne and I were discussing the movie. She made a good point that led to an interesting discussion; Dane/Chuck found out he wasn't satisfied by all the casual sex, but there was not point 1 made about it being wrong or emotionally harmful or anything less than, well, just sex.
In our world, morality is kind of a sliding scale. We can't place our morality on other people or else we're not being accepting and understanding(or so some would have us believe) There was an entire scene where Dane's character is just making it with woman after woman after woman...and the worst thing? It has nothing to do with Dane/Chuck as a person, nor is it about the woman as a person-it's a means to an end. The women want to get past Dane/Chuck...some so quick that they have dinner plans with someone immediately after they do the deed. Dane is just enjoying it, but is really looking for something more. So, it's the typical case of using another human being.
One may argue that Dane's character and the women are all adults partaking in consentual, safe sexual relationships. And one may be right. I still have to wonder if it's healthy emotionally(and yes, I DO realize this is a fictional movie), but it's not so different from how some people live. Is it emotionally healthy to try to rack up as many partners as possible? Is it emotionally healthy to use another person, for either party? Is it emotionally healthy to bolster one's ego like this?
I'll let Dr. Drew or Dr. Ruth be the judge of this. Or other experts who know human psychie better than I. Still, interesting food for thought when you're spending a Saturday night at the movies.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Perfect Scores...And perfect Stupidity
John Liu, a senior at a Danville, KY high school, has just scored perfect scores on both the SAT and ACT. I'm fascinated with people this intelligent. I mean, back in the days when I was taking the standardized tests, I was lucky to get scores in the double digits! Okay, maybe not quite that bad, but certainly not Ivy League entrance material like John is.
So, an incredible feat and one for which he should be congratulated!
Now, the bad news. I read this article on usatoday.com (find link to story below) and was bewildered AND disgusted by the comments after the story! Of the dozen or so I read, only two(count 'em, two) were positive and congratulatory. What? Yes...everything else was about how perfect scores don't mean squat if you don't have good networking and people skills. And some were even derogatory of John's accomplishment because he's Asian. This is an awesome story about a brilliant kid who made an accomplishment that is literally one in a million. And what happens? People try to down the dude for it! If that's going to be the case, what's the point of trying? Yeesh!
Read for yourself...and if you're the type of person who walks away from this NOT celebrating John's feat, do yourself a favor and keep your trap shut. I sure wish the people leaving comments on the site would have...
Teen gets perfect scores on SAT, ACT - USATODAY.com
So, an incredible feat and one for which he should be congratulated!
Now, the bad news. I read this article on usatoday.com (find link to story below) and was bewildered AND disgusted by the comments after the story! Of the dozen or so I read, only two(count 'em, two) were positive and congratulatory. What? Yes...everything else was about how perfect scores don't mean squat if you don't have good networking and people skills. And some were even derogatory of John's accomplishment because he's Asian. This is an awesome story about a brilliant kid who made an accomplishment that is literally one in a million. And what happens? People try to down the dude for it! If that's going to be the case, what's the point of trying? Yeesh!
Read for yourself...and if you're the type of person who walks away from this NOT celebrating John's feat, do yourself a favor and keep your trap shut. I sure wish the people leaving comments on the site would have...
Teen gets perfect scores on SAT, ACT - USATODAY.com
You Can't Fix Stupid
A few days ago, my friend, Carrie, received an E mail from a relative. This message was all politically geared about what candidates were "correct" due to their religious/social outlooks. It very much made one candidate seem "good" because he/she had one view on abortion and his/her opponent "bad" because of theirs. That's all good and fine. Stupid, but fine.
What was not fine was some of the outright lies put forth in this message; one of which being that Barack Obama is a Muslim. Uh, no. Senator Obama and I happen to belong to the same denomination and trust me, I'm not fluent in Arabic and couldn't quote you anything from the Koran.
So, Carrie was angry at what she felt were bigoted comments. She blasted back with a reply about intolerence and if we really want to go back to the time when there were lynchings and dog attacks on anyone who wasn't our race/religion/sexual persuasion/etc. Then, venting, she wrote me and asked, "Am I wrong?"
Here's what I told her:
Wrong? No. Pissing in the wind? Yes. It is impossible to argue with another's belief system. No matter what logic and rationality is used, you'll never be able to change the mind of anyone who is set on one viewpoint. When someone makes the claim that a politician isn't ethical or moral based on his/her voting record, THAT is an example of someone who has an absolute belief system that will not be changed. Never mind that we constituents may pressure our politicians into voting for our desires, no matter what they personally think. No matter that our elected officials may have more insight into a certain bill that gets a yea or nay vote based on it's contents(contents we aren't fully aware of).
But, back to the point. Trying to reason with someone who has absolutist and extreme views is a ginormous waste of time. Sit down and try to get a hunter to believe the eating of meat is wrong and you'll see what I'm saying. Do the same with a smoker and talk about outlawing cigarettes. No matter what one's belief system is, absolute viewpoints lead to less reason. Then, trying to reason with an unreasonable viewpoint is, as said before, a complete waste of time.
What was not fine was some of the outright lies put forth in this message; one of which being that Barack Obama is a Muslim. Uh, no. Senator Obama and I happen to belong to the same denomination and trust me, I'm not fluent in Arabic and couldn't quote you anything from the Koran.
So, Carrie was angry at what she felt were bigoted comments. She blasted back with a reply about intolerence and if we really want to go back to the time when there were lynchings and dog attacks on anyone who wasn't our race/religion/sexual persuasion/etc. Then, venting, she wrote me and asked, "Am I wrong?"
Here's what I told her:
Wrong? No. Pissing in the wind? Yes. It is impossible to argue with another's belief system. No matter what logic and rationality is used, you'll never be able to change the mind of anyone who is set on one viewpoint. When someone makes the claim that a politician isn't ethical or moral based on his/her voting record, THAT is an example of someone who has an absolute belief system that will not be changed. Never mind that we constituents may pressure our politicians into voting for our desires, no matter what they personally think. No matter that our elected officials may have more insight into a certain bill that gets a yea or nay vote based on it's contents(contents we aren't fully aware of).
But, back to the point. Trying to reason with someone who has absolutist and extreme views is a ginormous waste of time. Sit down and try to get a hunter to believe the eating of meat is wrong and you'll see what I'm saying. Do the same with a smoker and talk about outlawing cigarettes. No matter what one's belief system is, absolute viewpoints lead to less reason. Then, trying to reason with an unreasonable viewpoint is, as said before, a complete waste of time.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
The "Blink" Factor
While unpacking some boxes today, I came across some old fraternity memorabilia from college days. In amongst the paddles and shingles, I found the 98-99 composite from the Mu Rho Chapter of Kappa Sigma. My daughter, Maddison, was rooting through the box with me and, upon finding the composite, she got real excited.
If you're not familiar, a composite is a collection of pics of all the fraternity guys. Smack dab in the middle of everything was Dasher, my first Seeing Eye dog with the label, "Mascot" under his photo. Mascot? Not so much. We all know dogs are better behaved than humans..and that goes double for fraternity boys!
While Maddi looked over the pics of my brothers, there was the occassional, "Oo! He's a cutie!" comment throwwn around. Then, as she looked at more, she'd say, "He looks like a jerk" or "He looks like he'd be a nice guy." After several of these, I started noticing that she was almost always right. When she said a guy looked like a jerk, well, he really -was- a jerk.
I am a HUGE fan of "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. In "Blink", the author tells us that there are a multitude of tips we get when we first meet someone. Some people get a feeling by these tips and call it intuition. Gladwell proposes that intuition issn't mysterious-it's a combination of many little hints that make up a general feeling...and we need to listen to that feeling.
I think Maddi proved this today. From just a glance at a 10 year old photo, she nailed several guys for who they were at that time. Coincidence? Maybe, maybe, but it seemed a little toooooo good to be happenstance.
Either way, get a copy of "Blink" for yourself and learn to trust your gut.
If you're not familiar, a composite is a collection of pics of all the fraternity guys. Smack dab in the middle of everything was Dasher, my first Seeing Eye dog with the label, "Mascot" under his photo. Mascot? Not so much. We all know dogs are better behaved than humans..and that goes double for fraternity boys!
While Maddi looked over the pics of my brothers, there was the occassional, "Oo! He's a cutie!" comment throwwn around. Then, as she looked at more, she'd say, "He looks like a jerk" or "He looks like he'd be a nice guy." After several of these, I started noticing that she was almost always right. When she said a guy looked like a jerk, well, he really -was- a jerk.
I am a HUGE fan of "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. In "Blink", the author tells us that there are a multitude of tips we get when we first meet someone. Some people get a feeling by these tips and call it intuition. Gladwell proposes that intuition issn't mysterious-it's a combination of many little hints that make up a general feeling...and we need to listen to that feeling.
I think Maddi proved this today. From just a glance at a 10 year old photo, she nailed several guys for who they were at that time. Coincidence? Maybe, maybe, but it seemed a little toooooo good to be happenstance.
Either way, get a copy of "Blink" for yourself and learn to trust your gut.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Vent
One of the biggest kicks I get is feedback from readers. It's really cool to try and track down how someone in (insert any name of town) received my books and how they got to me. Today, that waas the case once again.
I received an E mail from a teacher of visually impaired kids in PA. She'd been given a copy of "After This..." by a friend who knows her love for reading. After several kind remarks about how much she enjoyed it, Jacqui gave me a few specifics. Her most noteable was a scene in the book where I, frustrated, depressed and probably inebriated, broke down to my close friend, Hilary. With grace and compassion, Hilary let me vent...all the way. Nothing was left. And she was still there when the blubbering, red-faced mess known as moi was finished.
I don't think this is the most profound story in the book, but that's just it-someone else did. Jacqui said in her work with kids with new visual impairments, someone just needs to listen to them vent. And sometimes life just sucks. Jacqui said she feels she'll be a better listener now and will curb the pep talk until the student is ready for it. Wow, and who'd have thunk it? I wrote that scene more with the idea of developing Hilary's character-not to teach a lesson.
Thanks, Jacqui in PA, for your message, for taking the time to read my work and to show me that there are unintended benefits to my work! You've put a smile on my face for the rest of the day!
I received an E mail from a teacher of visually impaired kids in PA. She'd been given a copy of "After This..." by a friend who knows her love for reading. After several kind remarks about how much she enjoyed it, Jacqui gave me a few specifics. Her most noteable was a scene in the book where I, frustrated, depressed and probably inebriated, broke down to my close friend, Hilary. With grace and compassion, Hilary let me vent...all the way. Nothing was left. And she was still there when the blubbering, red-faced mess known as moi was finished.
I don't think this is the most profound story in the book, but that's just it-someone else did. Jacqui said in her work with kids with new visual impairments, someone just needs to listen to them vent. And sometimes life just sucks. Jacqui said she feels she'll be a better listener now and will curb the pep talk until the student is ready for it. Wow, and who'd have thunk it? I wrote that scene more with the idea of developing Hilary's character-not to teach a lesson.
Thanks, Jacqui in PA, for your message, for taking the time to read my work and to show me that there are unintended benefits to my work! You've put a smile on my face for the rest of the day!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Would You Hire Me Because I'm White?
Wow, right now, I'm disturbed.
I was just checking MySpace for my messages and found a link advertising keynote speakers. Since I work so heavily in the youth world, I thought this may be something I'd like to explore. Then, after seeing a few different buttons for different speakers' bureaus, I found a link to blackspeakers.com A site solely for black speakers?
I'm baffled by this. Wasn't it the great Dr. King who said we should judge a man by the content of his character, not by the color of his skin? I can only imagine those who are on this site declare themselves activists for their race...and that seems different than what Dr. King had in mind.
Personally, if some client said they hired me specifically because I'm caucasian, I think I'd turn down the gig. I want to work with individuals and audiences who appreciate my work for it's content, not my race. Am I the only one who thinks like this?
I was just checking MySpace for my messages and found a link advertising keynote speakers. Since I work so heavily in the youth world, I thought this may be something I'd like to explore. Then, after seeing a few different buttons for different speakers' bureaus, I found a link to blackspeakers.com A site solely for black speakers?
I'm baffled by this. Wasn't it the great Dr. King who said we should judge a man by the content of his character, not by the color of his skin? I can only imagine those who are on this site declare themselves activists for their race...and that seems different than what Dr. King had in mind.
Personally, if some client said they hired me specifically because I'm caucasian, I think I'd turn down the gig. I want to work with individuals and audiences who appreciate my work for it's content, not my race. Am I the only one who thinks like this?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
The Return...and Travel Misadventures
Well, after an extended weekend with friends, family, reunions and surprise Bday parties, I'm back in the Sunshine State! And none too soon, either, since I had to try very hard to get away from a bona fide looney I met at Lambert today. And where is the lesson in this? Dunno. You see if you can find one.
I take my seat and a woman walks up. She introduces herself as Katherine. I tell her my name. She then presses a thin, plastic envelope into my palm. It's about the size of a book of matches and is stapled to a business card. Katherine says, "This is a petall of a rose from our blessed mother. These petals have been known to bring about many healings." I was polite, said thank you and shoved the rose petal into my laptop case.
As Katherine left, I began to get angry. Well, that quickly subsided because I realized it's stupid to get mad at crazy people. And how do I know she's crazy? Because without even knowing me, Katherine determined that I needed to be healed. Of what? I assume blindness.
Do I? Well, I'll let the fine physicians of the world work on that, not some stranger in an airport.
Katherine broke the #1 rule of interaction:
Do not go into an interaction with an agenda and expect to be successful
I'm less likely to put any "faith"(pardon the pun) into rose petals from some NYC shrine if they're given by someone who doesn't know me, my life, what I do. If Katherine had taken the time to get to know me, I may have been more likely to hear her point of view. But starting with an assumption? Bad business. Bad religion. Bad idea.
I take my seat and a woman walks up. She introduces herself as Katherine. I tell her my name. She then presses a thin, plastic envelope into my palm. It's about the size of a book of matches and is stapled to a business card. Katherine says, "This is a petall of a rose from our blessed mother. These petals have been known to bring about many healings." I was polite, said thank you and shoved the rose petal into my laptop case.
As Katherine left, I began to get angry. Well, that quickly subsided because I realized it's stupid to get mad at crazy people. And how do I know she's crazy? Because without even knowing me, Katherine determined that I needed to be healed. Of what? I assume blindness.
Do I? Well, I'll let the fine physicians of the world work on that, not some stranger in an airport.
Katherine broke the #1 rule of interaction:
Do not go into an interaction with an agenda and expect to be successful
I'm less likely to put any "faith"(pardon the pun) into rose petals from some NYC shrine if they're given by someone who doesn't know me, my life, what I do. If Katherine had taken the time to get to know me, I may have been more likely to hear her point of view. But starting with an assumption? Bad business. Bad religion. Bad idea.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
If It Works Out, Great!
Yesterday was a wild, wild day. We flew into STL to be with family, only to find it happened to be "Let's Screw Over Our Customers!" day at the car rental place. Already late, we ran to a doctor's appointment. On the way, I phoned my friend, Alice, to see if she and her husband, Jim would like to meet for a quick happy hour. TIf we could work it in, it'd be wedged in between a doctor's appointment, a potential meeting with my attorney and the need to be at a birthday party 30 miles away...all this had to be worked out in a matter of about four hours. Possible? Sure! But, what if I schedule to meet with friends, then the unforseen happens? Car trouble. A long wait in the waiting room. Not having all the proper paperwork. If the cosmos aligned perfectly, we should have time to grab a quick drink with friends. That's a big, BIG "IF."
And it didn't work out. But Alice is one of those low maintenence friends. You know the kind, right? That person who, if you have to re-schedule at the last minute doesn't take it personally. That person who has no agenda for your time together. That person who won't expect anything but social time, pure and simple. That person who doesn't get insulted by much and you don't have to watch what you say(me and my mouth? I really value these kinds of people!)
Iin her words, "If it works out, great! If not, we'll catch you next time!"
That is exactly what I wanted to hear. And that's exactly the kind of friend I want and need. Those people who realize every interaction is a gift and appreciate it(not a gift because it's me, either...c'mon, I'm not that cool!), but those who just know all social interaction with friends should be easy, low maintenence and with nothing but the best of intentions. Gotta love it!
And it didn't work out. But Alice is one of those low maintenence friends. You know the kind, right? That person who, if you have to re-schedule at the last minute doesn't take it personally. That person who has no agenda for your time together. That person who won't expect anything but social time, pure and simple. That person who doesn't get insulted by much and you don't have to watch what you say(me and my mouth? I really value these kinds of people!)
Iin her words, "If it works out, great! If not, we'll catch you next time!"
That is exactly what I wanted to hear. And that's exactly the kind of friend I want and need. Those people who realize every interaction is a gift and appreciate it(not a gift because it's me, either...c'mon, I'm not that cool!), but those who just know all social interaction with friends should be easy, low maintenence and with nothing but the best of intentions. Gotta love it!
Friday, September 14, 2007
VViva Vacation!
Okay, it's not exactly a vacation per say, but I'll be travelling the next few days with limited net access. Thus, we'll get some blogs posted as I have time and the ability to do so. Have a great and safe weekend!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
That Blatant?
A few months ago, I received an inquiry via list serve about bad fraternityy/sorority tee shirts.The inquirer was doing a breakout session at a conference and wanted examples of some of the rude messages members had seen plastered across the backs of college students. Being an old fraternity boy myself, I've seen plenty-and plenty were not something I'd be caught dead wearing in front of people now. Like the shirt that showed a party scene with the sun rising in the background saying, "We drink more beer before 6 a.m. than most people drink all day." Really? That's something to be proud of? There are plenty, PLENTY that I can't even write for fear it'll go into the spam folders of the folks who have Engel's Ensights set up on their RSS.
Now, this wasn't a tee shirt, but a poster on campus advertising some weekend parties. The sign read simply, "Come, get drunk, have sex." This wasn't a bar advertising their stuff, but a poster on the wall of a good sized private university. Yeah, Get Drunk, Have Sex. Jesus.
When did the world become so blatantly rude and disrespectful? I know, I know...that makes me sound like an old fogie. It just seems like after signs like this, Brittany showing her stuff as she gets out of a car, Paris Hilton being proud of her quazi-film, where do we go from here? How much more in your fface can we get with sex?
Some 10 or 15 years ago, Jane's Addiction put out a CD called "Nothing's Shocking." The whole theme is that with all the blood and guts and sex that is shoved down the throats of Americans, how can we possibly be shocked by anything? And it's true...and that was like 15 years ago! Really, where can we go from here?
Now, this wasn't a tee shirt, but a poster on campus advertising some weekend parties. The sign read simply, "Come, get drunk, have sex." This wasn't a bar advertising their stuff, but a poster on the wall of a good sized private university. Yeah, Get Drunk, Have Sex. Jesus.
When did the world become so blatantly rude and disrespectful? I know, I know...that makes me sound like an old fogie. It just seems like after signs like this, Brittany showing her stuff as she gets out of a car, Paris Hilton being proud of her quazi-film, where do we go from here? How much more in your fface can we get with sex?
Some 10 or 15 years ago, Jane's Addiction put out a CD called "Nothing's Shocking." The whole theme is that with all the blood and guts and sex that is shoved down the throats of Americans, how can we possibly be shocked by anything? And it's true...and that was like 15 years ago! Really, where can we go from here?
Chairity?
Ya know, I'm not real big on accepting chairity. I don't think there are a whole lot of sane people who accept chairity and want more of it. Most of us(I presume) want to have enough to be chairitable to those who are less fortunate.
When I was a poor college student, every time I'd go to a certain restaurant(that shall remain nameless since it's known nationwide), the bill would come and, well, your ol' pal, Marcus, got to do the dine and dash without actually dashing. Translation? They would never charge me. The first time, I thought it was a fluke. The secondd, third, fourth time, well, I started to notice a pattern.
I was really torn over this. Granted, I was a poor college student, but this is southwest Missouri and I knew darned good and well there were people in there a lot, LOT poorer than I. Not students, regular folks. I assume this lack of charge was due to me being blind. They never let any of my friends slide, probably due to the fact they seemed like able-bodied peeps. So, I was torn. I still am. I can certainly afford my own dinner. A nice little treat? Sure, but it wasn't like I couldn't have gone to a different restaurant and gotten charged.
Now, having said that, there are some forms of chairity I'm more than happy to take. For example, our cable and home phone service is provided by Bright House networks. BH is good enough to give me free directory assistance since yours truly cannot utilize a phone book. Same with my cell service through the new AT&T. And I'll certainly take advantage of bbeing first on a flight. Are these really chairity? Some may argue it is. I'm torn...but I'll keep accepting these as whatever they are.
Today, I called a limo service co. for transportation to a speaking gig next month. While talking to the owner of the company, I told him I'd have my wife and my Seeing Eye dog along. He laughs, tells me about his yellow lab at home and then gives me a discounted rate. Why? In his words, "I try to give a little discount for those who may have some additional challenges getting around."
Did he really give me a discount? I don't know. I only know the quoted price. If he did, should I refuse totake it and demand to pay full fee? I don't know. Transportation is one area I cannot handle on my own. Looking up a phone number? Sure, there are enough free searches and the net that make this possible. But getting from the airport to a college 30 miles away? Pretty difficult for me to accomplish on my own.
Frankly, I don't dig taking chairity. Call it pride. Yet, I continue to accept little discounts in service along the way. Does this make me a bad person?
When I was a poor college student, every time I'd go to a certain restaurant(that shall remain nameless since it's known nationwide), the bill would come and, well, your ol' pal, Marcus, got to do the dine and dash without actually dashing. Translation? They would never charge me. The first time, I thought it was a fluke. The secondd, third, fourth time, well, I started to notice a pattern.
I was really torn over this. Granted, I was a poor college student, but this is southwest Missouri and I knew darned good and well there were people in there a lot, LOT poorer than I. Not students, regular folks. I assume this lack of charge was due to me being blind. They never let any of my friends slide, probably due to the fact they seemed like able-bodied peeps. So, I was torn. I still am. I can certainly afford my own dinner. A nice little treat? Sure, but it wasn't like I couldn't have gone to a different restaurant and gotten charged.
Now, having said that, there are some forms of chairity I'm more than happy to take. For example, our cable and home phone service is provided by Bright House networks. BH is good enough to give me free directory assistance since yours truly cannot utilize a phone book. Same with my cell service through the new AT&T. And I'll certainly take advantage of bbeing first on a flight. Are these really chairity? Some may argue it is. I'm torn...but I'll keep accepting these as whatever they are.
Today, I called a limo service co. for transportation to a speaking gig next month. While talking to the owner of the company, I told him I'd have my wife and my Seeing Eye dog along. He laughs, tells me about his yellow lab at home and then gives me a discounted rate. Why? In his words, "I try to give a little discount for those who may have some additional challenges getting around."
Did he really give me a discount? I don't know. I only know the quoted price. If he did, should I refuse totake it and demand to pay full fee? I don't know. Transportation is one area I cannot handle on my own. Looking up a phone number? Sure, there are enough free searches and the net that make this possible. But getting from the airport to a college 30 miles away? Pretty difficult for me to accomplish on my own.
Frankly, I don't dig taking chairity. Call it pride. Yet, I continue to accept little discounts in service along the way. Does this make me a bad person?
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
For True Music Lovers...
Monday was one of the happiest days of my life. It ranks right up there with my wedding day, graduation from college and when my books were released. What was so exciting? Two words: The Boss.
After Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen had a greater influence on my life and recovery than any other artist. And after looking at his limited concert schedule this fall, it turns out I'll be in NYC on the same day he's playing Madison Square Garden. Coincidence? I think not. I prefer to think of it as karma. Or something. Either way, Monday morning, we got the tickets! Can you imagine how pumped I'll be when the show actually happens?
Well, my obsessive compulsive disorder has kicked in and now, well, it's Bruce everything. Today, my buddy Ron sent a link to a site that was offering a free David Gilmour concert from the 80s. Better yet was finding a few old Boss concerts on there! So, for true music lovers, check out:
www.wolfgangsvault.com
For those who enjoy this kinda music, you'll surely recognize the name Bill Graham(not to be confused with the evangelist). Ths is part of Graham's collection of rock shows from the vintage rock-n-roll years. Enjoy!
After Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen had a greater influence on my life and recovery than any other artist. And after looking at his limited concert schedule this fall, it turns out I'll be in NYC on the same day he's playing Madison Square Garden. Coincidence? I think not. I prefer to think of it as karma. Or something. Either way, Monday morning, we got the tickets! Can you imagine how pumped I'll be when the show actually happens?
Well, my obsessive compulsive disorder has kicked in and now, well, it's Bruce everything. Today, my buddy Ron sent a link to a site that was offering a free David Gilmour concert from the 80s. Better yet was finding a few old Boss concerts on there! So, for true music lovers, check out:
www.wolfgangsvault.com
For those who enjoy this kinda music, you'll surely recognize the name Bill Graham(not to be confused with the evangelist). Ths is part of Graham's collection of rock shows from the vintage rock-n-roll years. Enjoy!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
If You've Gotta Go Out...
Here we are again. The anniversary of the day the world changed. Where were you?
9-11 is one of those times in life where one will never forget where they were when they heard the news. Things like that only come along every few years...thank God.
Watching the footage and memorial ceremonies this morning, I was continually struck by the references to Flight 93; the plane that went down in Pennsylvania. Why? It was the only one of the hijacked planes where the passengers saw what was going on...and then took matters into their own hands. That famous phrase, "Let's roll!" was said by one of the passengers as they stormed the cockpit which had been taken over by the hijackers. That took guts. Lots of guts.
Before all this started, I was watching some news program last night about a little boy in Detroit. An 11 year old boy came home from school to find a masked intruder standing in his living room. The masked man grabbed the boy and pressed his hand over his mouth to keep the kid quiet. What did the kid do? Realized he was in trouble and took his life into his own hands...and bit down-hard!
When he was interviewed later, the boy said, "When he grabbed me, I thought I was going to die. I figured if I was going to die, I was going to go out fighting!" Not much different from the brave souls who took down Flight 93, eh?
We all know the fight or flight syndroms: when one believes their life is in jeopardy, they'll either battle to stay alive, or flee to preserve life.
On this anniversary of September 11, 2001, I'm so thankfuly for the courage of the people on Flight 93, and the fearlessness shown by the boy in Detroit. We should all have this kind of courage.
9-11 is one of those times in life where one will never forget where they were when they heard the news. Things like that only come along every few years...thank God.
Watching the footage and memorial ceremonies this morning, I was continually struck by the references to Flight 93; the plane that went down in Pennsylvania. Why? It was the only one of the hijacked planes where the passengers saw what was going on...and then took matters into their own hands. That famous phrase, "Let's roll!" was said by one of the passengers as they stormed the cockpit which had been taken over by the hijackers. That took guts. Lots of guts.
Before all this started, I was watching some news program last night about a little boy in Detroit. An 11 year old boy came home from school to find a masked intruder standing in his living room. The masked man grabbed the boy and pressed his hand over his mouth to keep the kid quiet. What did the kid do? Realized he was in trouble and took his life into his own hands...and bit down-hard!
When he was interviewed later, the boy said, "When he grabbed me, I thought I was going to die. I figured if I was going to die, I was going to go out fighting!" Not much different from the brave souls who took down Flight 93, eh?
We all know the fight or flight syndroms: when one believes their life is in jeopardy, they'll either battle to stay alive, or flee to preserve life.
On this anniversary of September 11, 2001, I'm so thankfuly for the courage of the people on Flight 93, and the fearlessness shown by the boy in Detroit. We should all have this kind of courage.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Hell No, We Won't Go!
Today, I’ve been watching a lot of the testimony on Capital Hill by Gen. David Petraeus, the top dog in the Iraq conflict. While he was giving his report to the Senators and Congressmen, protesters stood up and started, well, protesting.
The protesters were carried out by security, but not until after they’d disrupted the General’s report and the entire proceedings. The second outburst was even worse…a woman screaming bloody murder at the General. From my viewpoint on the couch, I couldn’t make out a single thing she was saying, but her wails and howls were like that of an animal. Seriously, these sounds were right out of a teenage horror flick.
Even the most ardent opposition to the war cannot possibly condone the disruption that took place today. Moreover, even those on the fence about the war in Iraq have to look upon these protesters as a bunch of wing nuts. Yes, protester woman in the stands, you certainly made your dissent known. You also made anti-war advocates cringe with embarrassment at how you chose to handle your 15 seconds of fame.
Do I support protesting? Absolutely…provided it’s done in the limits of the law(today’s protesters were not). Do I think it’s a way to actually excite changes? Nope!
In fact, a friend I was speaking with recently, even with drastically different views, had to agree. President Bush was in his town and he was met with a large faction of protesters. When my friend arrived, he found people not only protesting the war, but signs for environmental issues, economic issues and, some five years after the fact, a sign expressing hatred for the Bush V. Gore case heard by the Supreme Court!
What did that protest accomplish? Well, I guess President Bush now knows people hate him. Right. As if he didn’t know that before.
Can you imagine the power protesters could wield if they organized around a central theme? I mean, if you can get people together to know where to protest, you can surely get a form letter sent out to send to the different politicians who’s opinions you’d like to change!
I would go to war and give my life for the American right to freedom of speech. I wholeheartedly believe in every American’s right to protest peacefully. It’s just too bad so many Americans use their first amendment rights to engage in something so chaotic that accomplishes virtually nothing. If protesters would use their time writing their Congressmen instead of drawing signs, you'd see more changes in politics. If protesters used the time they spend marching around the streets to organize those with similar views, they'd be a lot more likely to have their opinions heard. The more disruptive the protest, the more the law is overlooked so people can spew their opinions, the less rational individuals actually listen.
The protesters were carried out by security, but not until after they’d disrupted the General’s report and the entire proceedings. The second outburst was even worse…a woman screaming bloody murder at the General. From my viewpoint on the couch, I couldn’t make out a single thing she was saying, but her wails and howls were like that of an animal. Seriously, these sounds were right out of a teenage horror flick.
Even the most ardent opposition to the war cannot possibly condone the disruption that took place today. Moreover, even those on the fence about the war in Iraq have to look upon these protesters as a bunch of wing nuts. Yes, protester woman in the stands, you certainly made your dissent known. You also made anti-war advocates cringe with embarrassment at how you chose to handle your 15 seconds of fame.
Do I support protesting? Absolutely…provided it’s done in the limits of the law(today’s protesters were not). Do I think it’s a way to actually excite changes? Nope!
In fact, a friend I was speaking with recently, even with drastically different views, had to agree. President Bush was in his town and he was met with a large faction of protesters. When my friend arrived, he found people not only protesting the war, but signs for environmental issues, economic issues and, some five years after the fact, a sign expressing hatred for the Bush V. Gore case heard by the Supreme Court!
What did that protest accomplish? Well, I guess President Bush now knows people hate him. Right. As if he didn’t know that before.
Can you imagine the power protesters could wield if they organized around a central theme? I mean, if you can get people together to know where to protest, you can surely get a form letter sent out to send to the different politicians who’s opinions you’d like to change!
I would go to war and give my life for the American right to freedom of speech. I wholeheartedly believe in every American’s right to protest peacefully. It’s just too bad so many Americans use their first amendment rights to engage in something so chaotic that accomplishes virtually nothing. If protesters would use their time writing their Congressmen instead of drawing signs, you'd see more changes in politics. If protesters used the time they spend marching around the streets to organize those with similar views, they'd be a lot more likely to have their opinions heard. The more disruptive the protest, the more the law is overlooked so people can spew their opinions, the less rational individuals actually listen.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Reads from Ridley
A few days ago, I read an interview given by one of my favorite authors, Ridley Pearson. In it, the interviewer posed the question:
What is the one book you feel everyone should read?
Wow, what a question! Ridley's answer? "To Kill A Mockingbird" by Harper Lee.
I tried and tried to think of one that would beat out "Mockingbird" as my #1 choice, but so far, I can't come up with anything better.
However, I'd not even rank Lee's only novel as one of my fav top 10. Not even top 20. Don't get me wrong, I love this book-but if I were limited to 10 books to read repeatedly for the rest of my life, it wouldn't be in the selection.
Yet, if there was a required book for all Americans? Yeah, still, I can't come up with something better. Any ideas? I'd love to hear them!
Speaking of reading, I have finally, finally learned how to use the library search system to select my books. Thus, I've been going down my extensive list, only to find that the majority of books aren't available on tape. It's one of the infuriating things about being blind-the limited selection of books.
This isn't to say there aren't plenty. There are. But I read some weird stuff. And just to know that these books are not all available as they are to the greater population is rather annoying. Yet, since I'll never, ever be able to read every book I'd like to, I'm finding this a bit of a mixed blessing. Still, if you have suggestions, I'm always looking for new titles to check out! Send 'em my way if you have something you think may be of interest!
What is the one book you feel everyone should read?
Wow, what a question! Ridley's answer? "To Kill A Mockingbird" by Harper Lee.
I tried and tried to think of one that would beat out "Mockingbird" as my #1 choice, but so far, I can't come up with anything better.
However, I'd not even rank Lee's only novel as one of my fav top 10. Not even top 20. Don't get me wrong, I love this book-but if I were limited to 10 books to read repeatedly for the rest of my life, it wouldn't be in the selection.
Yet, if there was a required book for all Americans? Yeah, still, I can't come up with something better. Any ideas? I'd love to hear them!
Speaking of reading, I have finally, finally learned how to use the library search system to select my books. Thus, I've been going down my extensive list, only to find that the majority of books aren't available on tape. It's one of the infuriating things about being blind-the limited selection of books.
This isn't to say there aren't plenty. There are. But I read some weird stuff. And just to know that these books are not all available as they are to the greater population is rather annoying. Yet, since I'll never, ever be able to read every book I'd like to, I'm finding this a bit of a mixed blessing. Still, if you have suggestions, I'm always looking for new titles to check out! Send 'em my way if you have something you think may be of interest!
Friday, September 07, 2007
DeSales University
Thanks to the Character U students at DeSales University for hosting me on Wed., Sept. 5. It's always a pleasure to come to DeSales,
but this was an especially awesome trip!
Special thanks to Wendy Krisak, Dr. Gregg Amore, Chad Surface
Special thanks to Wendy Krisak, Dr. Gregg Amore, Chad Surface
and the PACErs for an excellent experience!
This program was booked through my collegiate agency, Coleman Productions:
www.ColemanProductions.com
To learn more about DeSales University, take a look at:
www.DeSales.edu
www.ColemanProductions.com
To learn more about DeSales University, take a look at:
www.DeSales.edu
More Help For Teachers And Students
After yesterday's blog post, I received a few E mails about the same topic. My friend, Brian Skelly, got me hip to a St. Louis based org called Kidsmart:
www.kidsmartstl.org
This non-for-profit org makes school supplies available for underprivledged kids via teachers; every kind of material resource a teacher may need in the classroom. It's not a national program, but if you're in the STL area, please consider donating to this worthy org.
However, there are similar programs around the country. Skelly also introduced me to A Gift for Teaching, an Orlando based org that is similar to Kidsmart:
www.agiftforteaching.org
Again, help the kids, help the teachers, help the community. Thanks for your consideration of these two worthy organizations!
www.kidsmartstl.org
This non-for-profit org makes school supplies available for underprivledged kids via teachers; every kind of material resource a teacher may need in the classroom. It's not a national program, but if you're in the STL area, please consider donating to this worthy org.
However, there are similar programs around the country. Skelly also introduced me to A Gift for Teaching, an Orlando based org that is similar to Kidsmart:
www.agiftforteaching.org
Again, help the kids, help the teachers, help the community. Thanks for your consideration of these two worthy organizations!
Thursday, September 06, 2007
A Good Use Of $300
Being the son of an elementary school teacher, I saw first hand how much personal money was spent on tmy mom's 5th grade classroom. And she wasn't alone. Even a decade ago, teachers weree, on average, spending well over $100 of their personal money on classrooms every year. These expenses weren't for things like a new coffee cup for the teacher, but rather classroom supplies that were simply not in the school's budget.
This evening, I spoke to a friend who has a new job teaching elementary art. The first day of school, her principal walked around to each teacher, handed them an envelope and said, "For use in the classroom." Then he smiled and walked away. When my friend opened the envelope, she found a check made out to her for $300 and a short note of appreciation from the president of the PTO.
Teachers are underpaid. Period. For the amount of work they do, for the importance of their jobs and for the committment they put into their work, they're paid far, far below what they're worth. But no one who goes into education does it for the money.Low salaries are compensated by smiles from kids and the knowledge that they may, in some way, help that child to grow up and become a successful adult.
Still, no other career is more worthy of an unsolicited bit of extra money. Please consider getting involved with the PTO at your school and help out those who give so much of themselves. After all, if you're reading this, you're probably a successful product of the education system, too!
This evening, I spoke to a friend who has a new job teaching elementary art. The first day of school, her principal walked around to each teacher, handed them an envelope and said, "For use in the classroom." Then he smiled and walked away. When my friend opened the envelope, she found a check made out to her for $300 and a short note of appreciation from the president of the PTO.
Teachers are underpaid. Period. For the amount of work they do, for the importance of their jobs and for the committment they put into their work, they're paid far, far below what they're worth. But no one who goes into education does it for the money.Low salaries are compensated by smiles from kids and the knowledge that they may, in some way, help that child to grow up and become a successful adult.
Still, no other career is more worthy of an unsolicited bit of extra money. Please consider getting involved with the PTO at your school and help out those who give so much of themselves. After all, if you're reading this, you're probably a successful product of the education system, too!
Girl Power!
Girl Power
By CHUCK SALTER
No rich relatives? No professional mentors? No problem. Ashley Qualls, 17, has built a million-dollar web site. She's LOL all the way to the bank.
Late last year, Ian Moray stumbled across a cotton-candy-pink Web site called Whateverlife.com. As manager of media development at the online marketing company ValueClick Media, he was searching for under-the-radar destinations for notoriously fickle teenagers. Beyond MySpace and Facebook, countless sites come and go in the teen universe, like soon forgotten pop songs. But Whateverlife stood out. It was more authentic somehow. It featured a steady supply of designs for MySpace pages and attracted a few hundred-thousand girls a day. "Clever design, a growing base--that's a no-brainer for us," Moray says.He approached Ashley Qualls, Whateverlife's founder, about incorporating ads from ValueClick's 450 or so clients and sharing the revenue. At first, she declined. Then a few weeks later she changed her mind. He was in Los Angeles and she was in Detroit, so they arranged everything by phone and email. They still have yet to meet in person.When did Moray, who's 40, learn that his new business partner was 17 years old?Pause."When our director of marketing told me why Fast Company was calling," says Moray, now ValueClick's director of media development. "I assumed she was a seasoned Internet professional. She knows so much about what her site does, more than people three times her age."It's like that famous New Yorker cartoon. A dog typing away at a computer tells his canine buddy, "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."At 17 going on 37 (at least), Ashley is very much an Internet professional. In the less than two years since Whateverlife took off, she has dropped out of high school, bought a house, helped launch artists such as Lily Allen, and rejected offers to buy her young company. Although Ashley was flattered to be offered $1.5 million and a car of her choice--as long as the price tag wasn't more than $100,000--she responded, in effect, Whatever. :) "I don't even have my license yet," she says.Ashley is evidence of the meritocracy on the Internet that allows even companies run by neophyte entrepreneurs to compete, regardless of funding, location, size, or experience--and she's a reminder that ingenuity is ageless. She has taken in more than $1 million, thanks to a now-familiar Web-friendly business model. Her MySpace page layouts are available for the bargain price of...nothing. They're free for the taking. Her only significant source of revenue so far is advertising.
The Inc. 5,000
This year, Inc. expands their list of America's fastest-growing companies tenfold. See who made the list:
Inc. 5,000: Complete List
25 Top Private Firms
25 Top Revenue Producers
25 Youngest CEOs
According to Google Analytics, Whateverlife attracts more than 7 million individuals and 60 million page views a month. That's a larger audience than the circulations of Seventeen, Teen Vogue, and CosmoGirl! magazines combined. Although Web-site rankings vary with the methodology, Quantcast, a popular source among advertisers, ranked Whateverlife.com a staggering No. 349 in mid-July out of more than 20 million sites. Among the sites in its rearview mirror: Britannica.com, AmericanIdol.com, FDA .gov, and CBS.com.And one more, which Ashley can't quite believe herself: "I'm ahead of Oprah!" (Oprah.com: No. 469.) Sure, Ashley is a long way from having Oprah's clout, but she is establishing a platform of her own. "I have this audience of so many people, I can say anything I want to," she says. "I can say, "Check out this movie or this artist.' It's, like, a rush. I never thought I'd be an influencer." (Attention pollsters: 1,500 girls have added the Join Team Hillary '08 desktop button to their MySpace pages since Ashley offered it in March.)She has come along with the right idea at the right time. Eager to customize their MySpace profiles, girls cut and paste the HTML code for Whateverlife layouts featuring hearts, flowers, celebrities, and so on onto their personal page and--presto--a new look. Think of it as MySpace clothes; some kids change their layouts nearly as frequently. "It's all about giving girls what they want," Ashley says.These days, she and her young company are experiencing growing pains. She's learning how to be the boss--of her mother, her friends, developers-for-hire in India. And Whateverlife, one of the first sites offering MySpace layouts specifically for girls, needs to mature as well. "MySpace layouts" was among the top 30 search terms on Google in June. Ashley knows that she needs new content--not just more layouts, but more features, to distinguish Whateverlife from the thousands of sites in the expanding MySpace ecosystem. Earlier this year, she created an online magazine. Cell-phone wallpaper, a new source of revenue at 99 cents to $1.99 a download, is in the works.Running a growing company without an MBA, not to mention a high-school diploma, is hard enough, but Ashley confronts another extraordinary complication. Business associates may forget that she is 17, but Detroit's Wayne County Probate Court has not. She's a minor with considerable assets--"business affairs that may be jeopardized," the law reads--that need protection in light of the rift her sudden success has caused in an already fractious family. In January, a probate judge ruled that neither Ashley nor her parents could adequately manage her finances. Until she turns 18, next June, a court-appointed conservator is controlling Whateverlife's assets; Ashley must request funds for any expense outside the agreed-upon monthly budget.The arrangement, she says, affects her ability to react in a volatile industry. "It's not like I'm selling lemonade," she says. Besides, it's her company. If she wants to contract developers or employ her mother, Ashley says, why shouldn't she be able to do it without the conservator's approval?So the teenager has hired a lawyer. She wants to emancipate herself and be declared an adult. Now. At 17. Why not just sit tight until June? The girl trying to grow up fast can't wait that long.
By CHUCK SALTER
No rich relatives? No professional mentors? No problem. Ashley Qualls, 17, has built a million-dollar web site. She's LOL all the way to the bank.
Late last year, Ian Moray stumbled across a cotton-candy-pink Web site called Whateverlife.com. As manager of media development at the online marketing company ValueClick Media, he was searching for under-the-radar destinations for notoriously fickle teenagers. Beyond MySpace and Facebook, countless sites come and go in the teen universe, like soon forgotten pop songs. But Whateverlife stood out. It was more authentic somehow. It featured a steady supply of designs for MySpace pages and attracted a few hundred-thousand girls a day. "Clever design, a growing base--that's a no-brainer for us," Moray says.He approached Ashley Qualls, Whateverlife's founder, about incorporating ads from ValueClick's 450 or so clients and sharing the revenue. At first, she declined. Then a few weeks later she changed her mind. He was in Los Angeles and she was in Detroit, so they arranged everything by phone and email. They still have yet to meet in person.When did Moray, who's 40, learn that his new business partner was 17 years old?Pause."When our director of marketing told me why Fast Company was calling," says Moray, now ValueClick's director of media development. "I assumed she was a seasoned Internet professional. She knows so much about what her site does, more than people three times her age."It's like that famous New Yorker cartoon. A dog typing away at a computer tells his canine buddy, "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."At 17 going on 37 (at least), Ashley is very much an Internet professional. In the less than two years since Whateverlife took off, she has dropped out of high school, bought a house, helped launch artists such as Lily Allen, and rejected offers to buy her young company. Although Ashley was flattered to be offered $1.5 million and a car of her choice--as long as the price tag wasn't more than $100,000--she responded, in effect, Whatever. :) "I don't even have my license yet," she says.Ashley is evidence of the meritocracy on the Internet that allows even companies run by neophyte entrepreneurs to compete, regardless of funding, location, size, or experience--and she's a reminder that ingenuity is ageless. She has taken in more than $1 million, thanks to a now-familiar Web-friendly business model. Her MySpace page layouts are available for the bargain price of...nothing. They're free for the taking. Her only significant source of revenue so far is advertising.
The Inc. 5,000
This year, Inc. expands their list of America's fastest-growing companies tenfold. See who made the list:
Inc. 5,000: Complete List
25 Top Private Firms
25 Top Revenue Producers
25 Youngest CEOs
According to Google Analytics, Whateverlife attracts more than 7 million individuals and 60 million page views a month. That's a larger audience than the circulations of Seventeen, Teen Vogue, and CosmoGirl! magazines combined. Although Web-site rankings vary with the methodology, Quantcast, a popular source among advertisers, ranked Whateverlife.com a staggering No. 349 in mid-July out of more than 20 million sites. Among the sites in its rearview mirror: Britannica.com, AmericanIdol.com, FDA .gov, and CBS.com.And one more, which Ashley can't quite believe herself: "I'm ahead of Oprah!" (Oprah.com: No. 469.) Sure, Ashley is a long way from having Oprah's clout, but she is establishing a platform of her own. "I have this audience of so many people, I can say anything I want to," she says. "I can say, "Check out this movie or this artist.' It's, like, a rush. I never thought I'd be an influencer." (Attention pollsters: 1,500 girls have added the Join Team Hillary '08 desktop button to their MySpace pages since Ashley offered it in March.)She has come along with the right idea at the right time. Eager to customize their MySpace profiles, girls cut and paste the HTML code for Whateverlife layouts featuring hearts, flowers, celebrities, and so on onto their personal page and--presto--a new look. Think of it as MySpace clothes; some kids change their layouts nearly as frequently. "It's all about giving girls what they want," Ashley says.These days, she and her young company are experiencing growing pains. She's learning how to be the boss--of her mother, her friends, developers-for-hire in India. And Whateverlife, one of the first sites offering MySpace layouts specifically for girls, needs to mature as well. "MySpace layouts" was among the top 30 search terms on Google in June. Ashley knows that she needs new content--not just more layouts, but more features, to distinguish Whateverlife from the thousands of sites in the expanding MySpace ecosystem. Earlier this year, she created an online magazine. Cell-phone wallpaper, a new source of revenue at 99 cents to $1.99 a download, is in the works.Running a growing company without an MBA, not to mention a high-school diploma, is hard enough, but Ashley confronts another extraordinary complication. Business associates may forget that she is 17, but Detroit's Wayne County Probate Court has not. She's a minor with considerable assets--"business affairs that may be jeopardized," the law reads--that need protection in light of the rift her sudden success has caused in an already fractious family. In January, a probate judge ruled that neither Ashley nor her parents could adequately manage her finances. Until she turns 18, next June, a court-appointed conservator is controlling Whateverlife's assets; Ashley must request funds for any expense outside the agreed-upon monthly budget.The arrangement, she says, affects her ability to react in a volatile industry. "It's not like I'm selling lemonade," she says. Besides, it's her company. If she wants to contract developers or employ her mother, Ashley says, why shouldn't she be able to do it without the conservator's approval?So the teenager has hired a lawyer. She wants to emancipate herself and be declared an adult. Now. At 17. Why not just sit tight until June? The girl trying to grow up fast can't wait that long.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Forgiveness?
I get this question a lot: have you forgiven the drunk driver who took your sight? My answer, as always is this: Forgiveness is a vague concept. When I get a true definition of forgiveness, I'll be able to tell you yes or no.
Well, as my beautiful bride and I were chatting this morning, the concept of forgiveness came up. She's pretty darned brilliant, so I asked her to define forgiveness in her terms. After discussing this further, I think we hammered out what our definition is:
When one can remember, acknowledge and accept being wronged, but that awareness does not bring about emotions that are negative to that person nor does it consume his/her life, then forgiveness has taken place.
Is this correct for anyone else? I'm noot 110% certain it's my final definition, but if you have any thoughts, please leave a comment or E mail me directly. This will probably be the topic of this month's newsletter, and I would love to be able to think this through fully from many different points of view. Thanks, folks!
Well, as my beautiful bride and I were chatting this morning, the concept of forgiveness came up. She's pretty darned brilliant, so I asked her to define forgiveness in her terms. After discussing this further, I think we hammered out what our definition is:
When one can remember, acknowledge and accept being wronged, but that awareness does not bring about emotions that are negative to that person nor does it consume his/her life, then forgiveness has taken place.
Is this correct for anyone else? I'm noot 110% certain it's my final definition, but if you have any thoughts, please leave a comment or E mail me directly. This will probably be the topic of this month's newsletter, and I would love to be able to think this through fully from many different points of view. Thanks, folks!
Monday, September 03, 2007
Are We Just That Naive? Gullible? Stupid?
I just received one of those lovely forwards with little known facts. You know the one...it is physically impossible for a human being to lick his/her own elbow. Yeah, you've got it too, haven't you?
There are some things in there I know are true; like the world's most difficult tongue twister. But there are several other things which leave me scratching my noggin and asking, "Hmmmm."
Call me skeptical, but I'm not sure a study of 200,000 ostriches was done over eight years and that the study turned up not one instance of an ostrich burying it's head in the sand. Really? Do we have nothing better to study than quarter of a million ostriches who may or may not stick their head underground?
Then again, we do live in America...the country thatt, in the 1980s, spent millions studying bovine methane emissions. Yes, cow farts. And don't take my word for this...I read it in U.S. News when I was a kid! So anyway...this E mail brings me bback to the question that kicked all this off...are we just that naive?
And the answer is yes. Check snopes.com and you'll see bazillions of urban myths that have been proven false; the gang that will kill you if you flash your headlights, the kid who's dying wish is to collect a million get well messages, that sorta stuff. For whatever reason, it seems that anything that is written down, we believe. And yet, I sit here with my laptop and the power to blast a message to millions(nay, billions of people) world wide about how a study has been done that shows eating ketchup 10 times per day will give you an instant goiter. C'mon! I could, but why would I?
Some must get off on the power. And they have a willing audience of we lemmings that seem ready to swallow any info that comes down the pike. Not sure about you, but due to the fact I don't enjoy egg on my face, Ii don't forward anything that can't be proven. Maybe ostriches don't stick their heads in the sand, but when it comes to fact checking, people sure do.
There are some things in there I know are true; like the world's most difficult tongue twister. But there are several other things which leave me scratching my noggin and asking, "Hmmmm."
Call me skeptical, but I'm not sure a study of 200,000 ostriches was done over eight years and that the study turned up not one instance of an ostrich burying it's head in the sand. Really? Do we have nothing better to study than quarter of a million ostriches who may or may not stick their head underground?
Then again, we do live in America...the country thatt, in the 1980s, spent millions studying bovine methane emissions. Yes, cow farts. And don't take my word for this...I read it in U.S. News when I was a kid! So anyway...this E mail brings me bback to the question that kicked all this off...are we just that naive?
And the answer is yes. Check snopes.com and you'll see bazillions of urban myths that have been proven false; the gang that will kill you if you flash your headlights, the kid who's dying wish is to collect a million get well messages, that sorta stuff. For whatever reason, it seems that anything that is written down, we believe. And yet, I sit here with my laptop and the power to blast a message to millions(nay, billions of people) world wide about how a study has been done that shows eating ketchup 10 times per day will give you an instant goiter. C'mon! I could, but why would I?
Some must get off on the power. And they have a willing audience of we lemmings that seem ready to swallow any info that comes down the pike. Not sure about you, but due to the fact I don't enjoy egg on my face, Ii don't forward anything that can't be proven. Maybe ostriches don't stick their heads in the sand, but when it comes to fact checking, people sure do.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Don't Listen To Me
While flipping around the Sunday morning news shows, I happened upon an interview with Toby Keith. The interviewer asked Keith about his political views, the war, and his songwriting in relation to the current political situations around the world.
Keith has a unapologetic tone about his views, but as he said, "Don't listen to me. This situation in Iraq is much, much more complicated than any of us can really comprehend. I've had the opprotunity to speak with 50 generals over the last five years and it's still just so complicated. People sshouldn't listen to me and my views on this, and they shouldn't listen to any of the chowderheads who are singing about their views. I'm just a songwriter and doing what I do."
Ya know, when Americans are so likely to grab ontoo little phrases and quote them as the gospel truth, this is showing a lot of humility on Keith's part. Neil Young should take a lesson. A three minute song can do nothing but express the singer's views...but even the songwriter would admit you simply cannot summize the east/west situation in a song. So, as Keith says, listen-but study for yourself.
Keith has a unapologetic tone about his views, but as he said, "Don't listen to me. This situation in Iraq is much, much more complicated than any of us can really comprehend. I've had the opprotunity to speak with 50 generals over the last five years and it's still just so complicated. People sshouldn't listen to me and my views on this, and they shouldn't listen to any of the chowderheads who are singing about their views. I'm just a songwriter and doing what I do."
Ya know, when Americans are so likely to grab ontoo little phrases and quote them as the gospel truth, this is showing a lot of humility on Keith's part. Neil Young should take a lesson. A three minute song can do nothing but express the singer's views...but even the songwriter would admit you simply cannot summize the east/west situation in a song. So, as Keith says, listen-but study for yourself.
What You Want And How To Get It
As with the beginning of each new month, there's a new heading for Engel's Ensights. This month, it comes from one of my current musical favs, Hank Williams the Third.
What? The third? yes! Even though Hank Sr. has been dead for over 50 years, there almost seems to be a channelling of his soul through Hank 3. When I first heard this raucous redneck noise, I totally fell in love with it.
So, what does this have to do with anything? Very little...except the promotion of good music. Yet, there was a little something Hank 3 taught me during the reading of one of his interviews.
Hank 3's real name is Shelton Williams. Why then, would he take the name of his grandfather and his father's pseudonym? Simple: Hank 3 knows that if there was a show billed as Shelton Williams, it wouldn't attract nearly as much attention as Hank Williams the Third. He knows what he wants and knows how to get it. I respect that. I'd much rather see him promoting his music through his lineage than acting all pompous and stoic and acting as though he doesn't have the most famous name in country music.
Plus, come November, I've got tix to see 3 in concert...I'll let ya know if it's worth going to for you!
What? The third? yes! Even though Hank Sr. has been dead for over 50 years, there almost seems to be a channelling of his soul through Hank 3. When I first heard this raucous redneck noise, I totally fell in love with it.
So, what does this have to do with anything? Very little...except the promotion of good music. Yet, there was a little something Hank 3 taught me during the reading of one of his interviews.
Hank 3's real name is Shelton Williams. Why then, would he take the name of his grandfather and his father's pseudonym? Simple: Hank 3 knows that if there was a show billed as Shelton Williams, it wouldn't attract nearly as much attention as Hank Williams the Third. He knows what he wants and knows how to get it. I respect that. I'd much rather see him promoting his music through his lineage than acting all pompous and stoic and acting as though he doesn't have the most famous name in country music.
Plus, come November, I've got tix to see 3 in concert...I'll let ya know if it's worth going to for you!
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