Should You Be Receptive?

"Be receptive to something new!"

This is what I heard the first time I turned up my nose at sushi. I work really hard at being open to new things, so, after a little more thought, dived into my first tempura roll...and I've loved every delicious bite of Japanese food since!

Tonight, though, my wonderfully smart and talented wife made an interesting point about reception. We were having a lengthy discussion about some mutual friends and drama going on in their life. Marvelyne said, "They're not the kind of people who seem real receptive of gossip. It probably just goes in one ear and out the other."

Being receptive doesn't mean embracing and/or accepting. I'm open and receptive to listening to just about anyone. Nazis? Let 'em talk! After 30 seconds of chatter they show how stupid they are! Hellfire and brimstone preachers? Speak freely! Same story as the Nazis - the more you talk, the more opportunity I have to see the flaws of your thinking. Differing political views? Hey, I'll watch a debate between the libertarians and the American Communist Party if I can learn something from it!

The thing is, just like with these three examples (and the previously mentioned acquaintances), I will be receptive - but not accepting of just about anything.

Why We Should Ban More Books

When I was in middle school, I leafed through Harriet Beecher Stowe's, "Uncle Tom's Cabin." Around that same time, I think I read most of Judy Blume's "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret." In high school, I read both of Twain's most popular, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer.

Why did I read these? Because I wasn't supposed to! Duh!

Why else would a 12 year old boy be reading about slaves and female puberty? Okay, maybe the female puberty stuff makes more sense. But the reason-the ONLY reason I ever picked these books up was because I knew they had "questionable" content..

In Ohio, there's a famous situation going on right now. A high school had planned to dramatize Agatha Christie's "Ten Little Indians" for their spring production. Tain't gonna happen. Apparently, the school board caught flack for this because some take offense to the term "indian." Understandable. Native Americans have every right to be called whatever they want to be called. Is it offensive? I don't know-I'mm not of the heritage in question.

But ya know what? I now want to read this classic work! Yup, throw it in with my readings of "The Slaughterhouse Five" and "Catcher in the Rye" and everything else eveer deemed "questionable."

Ban a book and insure it's popularity. Ban books and you'll certainly have more little Marcus Engels out there reading them. Ban books and see how many kids are inspired to read!

My idea? Ban amazon.com altogether and we'll get every kid in America reading! Wishful thinking? Yes. And I'm not serious-I obviously love amazon.

Just know that the more something is shunned by, well, anyone, makes it fair game of interest for everyone else.

Power To The People?

I just finished watching the Republican debates from CNN and youtube.com. If you didn't catch it, the debate mainly consisted of questions sent in via video clips. For instance, there'd be a 10 second video clip where the "star" stated his/her namee, city and state, then their question.

I really liked this form of questioning. I'd much rather hear questions from average Americans than from Wolf Blitzer or Shepherd Smith. Let's face it-Americans are going to elect the next prez, so it should be the American people asking the questions on which those votes will be based.

For all the bad press youtube gets for jackass stunts pulled by high school dudes, this was a fantastic use of 21st century technology.

Oh, and did you think the guy with the Confederate flag was as big of a tool as I did? Yeah, thought so.

The Trouble With Doctors...

There are a bazillion issues with health care in Americans. Americans themselves are one of the biggest problems-we don't take care of ourselves, we expect doctors to fix all our issues with the wave of a magic wand, you get the idea. Pretty much everything except personal responsibility.

Physicians take part of the blame, too. You've probably heard the notion, "Doctors only want to do two things: cut ya or drug ya.

There's a certain bit of truth to this statement. After all, doctors do have the power of the prescription pad, and the surgeons have the power to operate. On the first side of this(drugs), there's a minute clinic type place just down the street from my home. They advertise, "Physician appointment and prescription: $70" Uh, so every time someone walks in they also get a prescription? What if they don't NEED a prescription? Do they get one anyway, just because they paid for it?

Today I had an appointment with a surgeon. Nothing serious, thank you very much! Due to some post-crash procedures that included a feeding tube, the lining of my abdomen is, well, about as strong as the upper body strength of a third grade girl. I.E., not. Thus, I now have my third incisional hernia in less than five years. I expected to go to the surgeon and walk out with a date for surgery on the calendar. Didn't happen.

After feeling the protrusion, the surgeon(who was this friendly old timey country doctor type) said, "Know what I'd do if I were you? Nothing. Nothing at all."

Beg pardon? What? Repeat, please! A surgeon who does not want to cut? Could the stereotype be (GASP!) wrong?

After some explaination, the surgeon said if I wanted him to, he could do the operation...but why? It doesn't bother me, it doesn't hurt, it doesn't limit my lifestyle, why go through surgery if it isn't dangerous or bothersome? Well, Doc, I couldn't agree with you more!

What did this teach me? Probably nothing new, but it did reinforce the stupidity of stereotypes.. Thanks for that, Doctor Mac, and for NOT making me a patient!

If You Love Carson...

You'll want to visit the new and improved web site for the Seeing Eye, Inc., Carson's alma mater:

www.SeeingEye.org

I hear there are pics of new puppiess there, too(c'mon on! If nothing else, you wanna go see cute cuddly little puppies, don't you?)

For those of us who utilize the services of working dogs, the Seeing Eye is the flagship dog training org in the world. Makes me proud as a handler to see the Eye so well represented on the web!

I'm Not There

Generally, I hate movies. There's the list of my favs; Scent of A Woman, Pulp Fiction, Blues Brothers, etc., but there's rarely a time when, on a dead evening, I pipe up with, "Hey, let's go to a movie!" Chalk it up to A.D.D. or blindness or lack of interest in seeing Saw #15, but movies usually just aren't of a whole lot of interest to yours truly.

However, since I heard about, "I'm Not There", I'd been raring at the bit to go! What? You haven't seen "I'm Not There" on the marquis at your local Cinema 20? That's because it's not a movie that'll get a whole lot of recognition from the big boys.

"I'm Not There" is a fictionalized account of Bob Dylan's life(and you know what a big Dylan fan I am!), but not anything like what you may expect. It is, if nothing else, an art film. Hence, it's disjointed, vague, strange, jumbled and confusing-and it's also one of the most creative works I've ever seen.

The writer took six intermingled segments from Dylan's life; the fictional account of his life prior to NYC he told reporters once he got famous, his heavy drug days, the interviews with non-answers he was so famous for giving during press conferences, and, strangely, an old west-ish scene with Billy the Kid.

Mixing all these segments together is confusing enough. But then, keep in mind these are somewhat fictionalized. So, the role of Dylan is played by a folk singer named Jack Rollins(who?), but who walks, talks and acts like Dylan. Hmmm. Now, the plot thickens when, in each segment, Dylan's role is played by a different actor. Richard Gere being one of them. That's not so far-fetched, but when Dylan's role is played by an 11 year old black kid, by Kate Blanchett(sp? Remember-I'm not a big Hollywood fan and less of a Hollywood speller) and a few others who, well, aren't remotely close to the demographics of Dylan.

And, hands down, Kate Blanchett gives one of the most intriguing performances I've ever witnessed on screen. Strange enough to see a female acting this role, but she obviously did lots of study into the idiosyncricies of Dylan before stepping on the set. Just powerful.

Now, why do I give you this review? Because you care? Nah, because I learned something in this film...

Viewing "I'm Not There" is akin to riding a roller coaster. You can do nothing but hang on annd enjoy the ride!! You can't steer the film, you can't predict it, you(often times) can't even make sense of it. But the viewer will absorb it and enjoy it in the most of Zen ways. The more you try to make sense of it, the more frustrated you'll become. So, just live in the moment, let the film be what it is-art in all it's glory.

Mizzou-RAH!

When I was growing up, it seemed like every Sunday afternoon was spent around Grandma and Grandpa Engel's kitchen table. Fried chicken and mashed potatos are my most vivid memory, but I'm sure the menu was a little more extensive than that!

The other strong memory of that kitchen table was the glassware. Nothing fancy, but for a kid-unforgettable. See, Grandma Engel had drinking glasses that bore the insignia and schedule from the University of Missouri Tigers. This would have been circa 1987, so it was a little odd to see the year "1968" on the glasses. Nonetheless, there were all sorts of phrases like "Champions!" and "Title!" all over the glasses, too.

And friends, until last night, I'm not sure the University of Missouri has really had a team to be proud of since those glasses were created(and yes, Nixon was in office then). Sure, there was a bowl game a few years ago(the Cornnuts Bowl or something ridiculous that no one watched), but last night's victory over rival KU was nothing short of sweet!

Congrats, MU, and here's to a win against Oklahoma next week!

Thank You...Thank You Very Much!

To be said in your best Elvis-sounding voice...

The whole idea of Thanksgiving is to remember all the things we have and how lucky we are. And we are! I mean, if you're reading this, you're probably in the U.S. of A and that means you've got a front row seat to everything! There is hardly anyone in this country that goes without food, shelter and at least some amenities of a quality life. Certainly there are people who are homeless, but the vast, VAST majority of Americans have more than ammple amounts of, well, everything!

While Thanksgiving is the day we're supposed to remember to be grateful for all we have, when you have as much as most Americans do, one day simply isn't enough. We need to really take a look at all we have, every day, and be grateful forthe awesome things we possess; food, clothing, shelter, relationships, material goods-all the things that make life worth living.

For this Thanksgiving 2007, I wish you a day filled with food and laughter and fun, and I hope you'll take time to be grateful every day, all year long.

Teach Your Children Well

Yesterday, we hired a handyman which I, of course, found on craigslist.org. Floyd was hired to hang up some artwork and decorations in our living room-a task we could take care of IF we had a 15' ladder(which we don't).

When Floyd the handyman arrived, he brought along his young son. His boy is out of school all week, so Floyd took the opprotunity to have a helping hand AND teach a few lessons to the kiddo.

His son, Austin, was probably no older than first grade, but he really WAS a help-running to the truck for an extension cord, helping to lift the coffeetable, etc.

When it came time to pay Floyd for his services, he had Austin calculate everything in their record books. As he's showing the boy how to add up the different items, he's continually emphasizing, "You always, always have to keep track of your bookwork, okay?"

Then, after all was figured up, Floyd said, "I'm going to knock off $15 because I wasn't able to hang that one picture right, and I was 30 minutes late.." We protested because his work was superb. He made a motion to Austin and said, "Son, you always have to be generous with the people who hire you. That's key in this business."

I chimed in my two cents worth with, "Being generous is key in ALL business!"

It was really refreshing to see a parent taking such an active interest in actually teaching the kid; not having helping hands so the parent doesn't have to work as hard, not feeling like he was forced to keep an eye on the kid since school was out, but actually instructing and guiding the little guy into how one conducts a good, ethical and successful business.

If you're in the Orlando area, consider a handyman named Floyd Davis:
fdavis001@cfl.rr.com

The Best CL Rant Ever!

I freakin' love craigslist.org. I've purchased and sold so many things over the last year that I'd have been unable to buy/sell were it not for CL. In fact, right now, I'm sipping an espresso from the espresso/cappucino maker I bought off a guy over the weekend for $15. I'm sure this thing was much more expensive than that in the store, and thank God for people who get gifts they don't use! But even more, how awesome is it to have such a grass roots site that puts people in touch with one another? And how awesome is it that it works at such a level to put the responsibility in the hands of the users?

Anywho, this morning I was purusing the Best of CL and came acrosss a rant from a woman who's husband is being shipped out to Iraq. She had one of the most articulate, well-written arguments/points I've heard expressed. I so wish I could cut and paste it here, but the language is pretty colorful and, if you want to read it badly enough, you'll go to CL and find it yourself.

Anyway, she was making the point that people don't know what to say when she informs them her husband is being shipped to a war zone. She said, "I don't want to hear about your problems, I don't want your political leanings, I don't want to go to your Bbible study to give me hope, I don't want to hear, 'Well, at least you still have me!'..."

So often, when a hardship is told, people tend to think they have to come up with a great response. Something that'll lighten the mood, or something that'll give the person hope, or something that'll fix the problem. Most often, people who tell you of their problems simply want a listening ear and an understanding heart. I'd like to thank this anonymous poster for showing the readers, in no uncertain terms, what a spouse of a soldier needs the most. We should all learn from her writings...

Keeping Up With the Garcias

Smith is the #1 surname in America. But for the first time ever, two Hispanic names, Garcia and Rodriguez, have pushed into the top ten...and not just pushed, but Garcia shot up to #7.

I've always thought names were an interesting way of identifying people. NPR did a segment a few years ago on a common name(I forget what it is exactly, but let's say it was John Smithson). Two Englishmen, while getting sloppy on grog, discover one of them shares a name with an acquaintance of the other. So, when John Smithson and Bill Anderson are sipping ale, it turns out Bill has heard of another John Smmithson. So, in their completely rational mindset, they jump on a train and travel for hours to seek out the other John Smithson. As they network this through, they find more and more folks by the same name. Turns out, as their research progressed, they met a couple who'd actually changed their names(both of 'em, his AND hers) to John Smithson, just for the pure novelty of it.

It really makes you wonder...what's in a name? Marvelyne and I often joke that, due to the uniqueness of both of our names, on paper, most folks probably assume we're black. And according to this same study, there is a big racial divide within names, too. 90% of everyone named Schmidt is white, while 90% of Washingtons are black.

Yet, America being the great melting pot that it is, somewhere down the line, there are going to be round-eyed white guys with blonde hair name Martinez, and dark skinned dark haired ladies named Davis-all the more evidence that America remains the most diverse culture on earth

A Real Stinker

I'm a bibliophile. That's book lover, for those of you who aren't also bibliophiles!

Amongst my bibliophile loves is anything and everything written by Stephen King. I swear, I could probably force myself to read a French cookbook if it sayss: By Stephen King on the cover!

For the last couple of weeks, I've been working my way through "The Journals of Elenor Drues" by Elenor Drues. When you're Stephen King and have been writing best sellers for the last three decades, you can experiment with your writing styles. That's what he did with Elenor Drues. Don't be fooled-even though it says it's by this anonymous woman you've never heard of, it's a work of King's. And, frankly, it sucks.

The book is only about 200 pages long and it's taken me nearly two weeks to get through it(which I finally did today). There are many aspects to this; it's difficult for a 60 year old maan to write from the perspective of a 76 year old woman. The story just isn't that interesting. And, as happens every once in a great while, I just loathe the narrator who reads the book on tape. All these combined mean it took me nearly 20 days to get through a read that should have taken me half a week.

While expressing my disgust at this book to my wife, she said, "He's such a master of writing...but he puts out a real stinker every so often!"

She's so right! And really, King is no different than any other artist(or person, for that matter). Even people who are considered top of the heap have times where they're just off. Even a great athlete can have a bad day. Even some of the finest actors from Hollywood have made movies that make me want to hurl.

It just goes to prove that even select individuals who are the masters of their fields must have grace and compassion on themselves-we can't all be perfect all the time, even if you're perfect most all of the time!

If It Sounds Too Good To Be True...

C'mon! Say it with me! "...It probably is!"

Any parent worth his/her salt presses this into the mind of the kid, right? It sure was taught to me! And to most everyone I know!

Yet, even knowing it doesn't mean people actually heed this warning. Yes, there are fast talking salesmen who confuse the subject so the buyer doesn't really know what he/she is getting. And that's okay if we're talking some cheap item-after all, even fast talkin' salesmen have the right to make a living.

I just finished watching a PBS documentary on how America got into the sub-prime mortgage snafu. I heard lots of bad stuff about the former CEO of Ameriquest, how the government isn't willing to help, how manipulative the mortgage salesmen were-but never, not once did someone say, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is."

There was lots of finger pointing at everyone EXCEPT the person who was the final decision maker: the home buyer. Trust me, I'm as distressed over the home mortgage problem as anyone(except those who've lost their homes), but I can't keep from thinking: the person who bought the home made the decision. It's that person's name on the forms. It's that person who ultimately has the opprotunity to turn down everything because it's just not a good deal. And most importantly, that person has the responsibility for educating him/herself on every aspect to do with the mortgage.

Really, if prime is 6%, and a slick mortgage salesman offers a buyer a rate of 2.5%...uh, maybe we should think back to the days when Mommy and Daddy said, "If it's too good to be true, it probably is..."

Really, ARMs tell you, right there in the name, that the rate is "adjustable." So, when the low rate was named, what kind of fool doesn't ask, "So, what will the rate be when it's adjusted?" Apparently, 2 million homes(estimated) in the U.S. were bought by just such fools.

II loathe the mortgage companies who used illegal and immoral tactics to make sales. But let's not forget personal responsibility. If someone is about to make the biggest investment in life, I hope they're smart enough to read the fine print-and to remember the lesson our parents taught.

Ho Ho...NO!

I wouldn't have believed it, but I heard it on the most popular television news show on cable TV.

In Australia, there is a person who coordinates all the Santas for all the department stores. This person has determined that St. Nick saying, "Ho ho ho!" might be offensive to some women. So, Aussie Santas are now required to say, "Ha ha ha!"

To which, I say "Ha ha ha!"

Seriously, folks! We all know a ho or two, but would they be offended by Santa giving his usual verbage? Highly unlikely. They're far too busy sucking down white zinfandel and smoking menthol 100 ciggiess while waiting for Mr. Overdose On Cologne Guy to try to pick them up. Too graphic? Ridiculous? Yes...just as stupid as changing Sannta's slogan.

Bull Puckey!

Is cow poop the environmental wave of the future?

Tonight, Fox News ran a fun segment on a way of turning cow manure into methane gas, then using the methane gas to power homes. In central Texas, there are plants that do this very process. The cow dukey is re-hydrated, then mixed with oils and fats and water to speed up the production of methane. Then, this single plant can power over 1000 homes across central Texas.

This is awesome news...and would you be surprised to find out the woman they interviewed about cow poop methane production was Patty? Yeah, me neither.

Children's Hospital

Thanks to the miracle of modern technology, I can stream radio stations in from other parts of the world. If you're reading this, you can too!

It keeps me connected with friends and family back home to be able to listen to St. Louis radio. Today, on 97.1 FM, I heard a really awesome commercial for CChildren's Hospital.

In it, a little girl asks, "What are all you numbers doing in the hallways of Children's Hospital? Are you sick?"

To which a number replies, "No, we're actually here to show how well we're doing!" Each number; #7, #8, #1, etc. all represent a ranking that Children's Hospital has for each of it's departments. All the rankings are quite impressive! Children's Hospital is a sister org of Barnes Hospital, the place that saved my life when I was 18.

I'm so proud my hometown has such an awesome institution for the health care of children. Now, if we can just figure out a way where kids never have to go to the hospital, we'll be even better...

Would You Be Happy For Your Spouse To Cheat?

I wouldn't. But for Sandra Day O'Connor, the fact her husband has a new girlfriend is a relief. I came across the article in USA Today and I think this is one of the truest definitions of love I've found. Here's the link to the article:

A New Page in O'Connors' Love Story - AOL News

See, John O'Connor has Alzheimer's. He lives in a home for patients with severe Alzheimer's in Arizona. His wife, Sandra Day O'Connor, retired from the U.S. Supreme Court last year in order to help take care of her husband. Now, at 77 years of age and with a personality compromised due to Alzheimer's, John O'Connor has found a new girlfriend, also a patient at the home.

Does Sandra get jealous? Bitter? Resentful? No. She's pleased. When she visits, she sees John happy, content and, as their eldest son described, "like a teenager in love." Due to this wretched disease, Mr. O'Connor is no longer the same person. He may not even realize he is still married to his same wife of 50 years. But Alzheimer's, according to experts, doesn't diminish one's capacity and need for human relationships.

Justice O'Connor is doing the absolute best she can with a situation beyond her control. And really, she's shown me the truest definition of love-putting aside one's personal desires for the best situation for a loved one. If you click on the link above, you may want a box of Kleenex nearby... it's a tear jerker, folks...

Don't Taze Me, Bro!

Tupperware. Pampered Chef. Candles. Baskets...these all represent kinds of parties I've NOT been to! And, God willing, I'll never be at any party with multi-level marketing!

But now, a new twist for ladies on the pyramid scheme circuit...tasers. Yes, tasers.

Who'd have thunk it, but taser parties are popping up like a mugger's eyes after being hit with mega-voltage. Would you believe tasers actually come in fresh new colors? True story!

All kidding aside, no one can dismiss the sense of tasers. No, they're not fool proof, they still have dangers, even fatal dangers, for some taze victims with heart conditions, but all in all, non-lethal weapons are a kinder, gentler way to help our law enforcement officers(and now Joe Average Citizens) protect themselves from violence.

Bad Bad Apples

Well, in addition to rubbing elbows with Hollywood types in Spokane, WA this weekend, I also met two of my colleagues:

Rodger Campbell and Frank Kitchen

Rodger and Frank are represented by Coleman Productions, too andare just some really awesome guys! Check out their site at:

www.badbadapples.com

I can't wait to see these guys do their thang in person! If their normal personalities are indicative of what they do on the platform, then the audience is in for a real treat!And, if you like to dance, you're going to want to check out their videos on their site and on Coleman Production's site, too:

www.ColemanProductions

Marcus & Mr. Belding

Remember growing up watching "Saved by the Belll"? If your answer is yes, you're probably between 35 and 20. Outside of that demographic, Zack Morris, A.C. Slater, Screech and Mr. Belding are names that probably mean next to nothing to you. But, if you ARE from the "Saved By The Bell" generation, then you darned sure remember Dennis Haskins' character, principal Mr. Belding.

Well, at NACA West, Dennis Haskins (a.k.a. still Mr. Belding to those who'll recognize his face) happened to be in a booth a few down from ours. He stopped by to pet Carson and I didn't realize who he was. When he learned Carson's name, he said, "When I was on 'Saved By The Bell', our studio was right across from 'The Tonight Show.' I used to see Johnny Carson every day and called him Mr. Carson." Around this time it's sinking in who this guy is, but Ii didn't want to assume anything. Thus I asked, "You were on 'Saved By The Bell'?" He said, "Yes, I was Mr. Belding."

At this point, I stuck out my hand, gave him our Kappa Sigma grip and and stated letters only brothers of our order would know. Yep, it's true! Mr. Belding is a brother of Kappa Sig! It's way cool to meet new brothers, but even more awesome when those guys happen to be famous actors! Here's a shot of Mr. Belding and yours truly... who'd have thunk I'd be rubbing elbows with Hollywood types in Spokane?

NACA West in Spokane!

Well, for my first NACA conference, I couldn't have asked for more!
I presented a 15 min. lecture showcase on behalf of my agency,

Coleman Productions

http://www.colemanproductions.com/

Below are pics of myself and David Coleman, aka: the Dating Doctor,

my agent at CPI, Brooke Sims, and our CPI booth at NACA.

Thanks to all who attended my lecture showcase and for stopping past the booth!

Metro Life Church, Miami, FL

Tuesday and Wednesday, Nov. 6 and 7,

I was honored to present a couple of programs for

Metro Life Church in Miami, FL.

On Tuesday evening, the keynote was for the men's group - an especially awesome treat for me since it's rare I get to present for gender-specific organizations. In programs that are gender specific, whether male or female, I feel like there are topics we can cover more in depth than with a mixed audience. I want to thank the gentlemen who attended for being such an awesome group to work with, for their attentiveness and for making my first experience at Metro Life Church so incredible!

And if I thought Tuesday night was da bomb, Wednesday night blew my mind! Thanks to all who came out, who were touched by what I presented and for so many kind words and hugs afterward!

A very, very special thanks goes to Steve and Mary Alessi, pastors of Metro Life Church. Pastors Steve and Mary also happen to be my bro-in-law and sis-in-law, and it was terrific getting to know my new family members even more!

Metro Life Church is really what a church should be - open, inviting, compassionate, giving and close. However the dynamic is created at Metro Life Church, it's there and is ready for anyone who'd like to have a positive worship experience. Check out their site at:

http://www.metrolifechurch.cc/

I've Been Everywhere, Man!

Apologies for the lack of posts in recent days. As the heading says, I've been everywhere(to quote the famous Johnny Cash).

On Tuesday and Wednesday, I was honored to present for Metro Life Church in Miami, FL. The pastors of this church happen to be my bro-in-law and sis-in-law, Steve and Mary Alessi. Pics and personal thank yous for this event will be in another post.

So, Miami is where I woke up yesterday morning. When I laid down last night, it was in Spokane, WA. A few hours at home in Orlando in between and, well, you just have to glance at a map to see that Thursday, I really WAS everywhere, man!

In Spokane for the NACA West conference, for which I'll be showcasing this morning. Pics and commentary to come after, too...just wanted to get a quick post up so no one thinks there is a death or anything!

Seeing A Ghost

In the past year, Hank Williams III has become one of my favorite performers. Raucous, redneck, acoustic driven noise with no apologies to those who are offended-exactly what alternative country was meant to be! So, last night was a night I'd been anticipating for a long, long time...

Hank played Orlando last night and, without a doubt, his music is some of the best funked up redneck hollarin' around!

Then, without fair warning, the hellbilly sound died and metal took over. I don't mean metal like our old friends AC/DC or Motley Crue, I mean Gwar and Slipknot. As soon as my ears stopped bleeding, I figured out Hank's country set was over and his metal band, Assjack, had taken the stage. Then, it was time to bail. Gwar and Marcus just don't go together.

Still, for the handfull of songs I heard, Hank's voice transformed the night into something out of a ghost story. There's no better known name in country music than Hank Williams, and on stage with that high, broken tenor sound of his granddad, Hank 3 turned into Hank Sr., right before my very ears. If nothing else, it was the closest I'll ever come to seeing the legendary Hank Williams-especially since he was dead a good 20 years before I entered the world. Craziness.

Tomorrow On Oprah!

One of my fellow speakers with Coleman Productions:

www.ColemanProductions.com

will be on Oprah tomorrow. Judson Laipply is best known for "The Evolution of Dance"-if you're an Oprah watcher, you'll love this!

Thoughts from Dr. William Samek

If you are a subscriber to the Marcus Engel Newsletter, you may remember September's newsletter which included my thoughts on forgiveness. While writing this newsletter, I began to realize just how many facets the whole idea of forgiveness has! Yet for me, the single biggest aspect that has influenced my life is the idea of forgiveness as something the survivor(I hate the word "victim") does for himself/herself. For example, yours truly has forgiven the offender who took his sight. Not because he asked for it, not because I don't want him to carry the weight of it, but because I, me-I want to be able to move forward with my life. That's really tough to do if I'm bogged down in the injustice of the act.

After the newsletter went out, I received an E mail response from Dr. William Samek, a mental health professional in Miami, FL who happens to be a subscriber to the Marcus Engel Newsletter. He raised some really great points and I was so happy to get some feedback on this subject from a professional-someone who has lots more than personal experience with forgiveness. From Dr. Samek's points and my own exploration of forgiveness, I realized it is such a vague concept I could probably write a newsletter on each facet for each month for years to come! But, that's probably going to get old, so I'd just like to now give you Dr. Samek's thoughts on the matter...and thanks, Dr. Samek, for the food for thought!

Marcus,
I am a clinical and forensic psychologist. I read your book a few years
ago and I found today's Newsletter interesting food for thought. I
specialize in treating sexual abuse and therefore I have thought over
the years a lot about the issue of forgiveness.

I agree that getting to the point of letting go of the anger is a very
important part of recovery from trauma. I agree that it can be difficult
to do and that it takes time. I agree that not letting go of the anger
only hurts the victim. It has no impact on the abuser/offender.

However, I do not call letting go of the anger, which is an important
part of recovery for a victim, forgiveness. I believe that forgiveness
has a component of forgiving the abuser, of saying you no longer blame
him or you do not hold him accountable any longer. Christian counselors
often preach the need to forgive the offender and turn judgment over to
God. I think this is not good counseling and not good theology.
Forgiveness is good and it is appropriate when, and only when, the
offender repents. Only when the offender truly repents, not just in
words but also in changed behaviors, is forgiveness appropriate, in my
opinion.

I think we need a better word for letting go of the anger than
forgiveness. Forgiveness has a meaning, I believe, that includes letting
go of the blame placed on the offender. I think recovery for a victim
requires letting go of the anger and, depending on the situation, it may
or may not also require letting go of the blaming the offender. Another
way to say this is there is emotional forgiveness and intellectual
forgiveness. Forgiveness - letting go of the emotional anger (feelings)
is always a necessary part of a full recovery for the victim.
Forgiveness - letting go of the intellectual anger (thoughts) is not a
necessary part of full recovery for a victim and is appropriate only
when the offender truly repents. For a victim to forgive in the
intellectual sense of the term a non-repentant abuser is, in my opinion,
further abuse of the victim. For example, a girl who was molested by a
father who continues to deny that it ever happened, needs to eventually
let go of her hurt and rage and to understand that her father is a sick
man who was likely seriously abused by his family during his childhood
but she does not need to forgive him in the common sense of forgive.

Just some of my thoughts on forgiveness and healing.

Dr. Samek
Miami, FL

More Thoughts on Forgiveness

Last night, I performed the usual Saturday night ritual of watching 48 Hours Mystery. This was a really, really disturbing case, to say the least. Here goes with a description:

A college-aged son, Bart, hired a couple of hitmen to murder his parents and little brother. After dinner one evening, the four family members returned home to find a gunman in their living room. Four shots, one into the chest of both the mom and big bro, one into the shoulder of Bart himself., just to make it look like Bart wasn't involved.

Two years and a manhunt later, Bart was finally caught and convicted. The jury then had to do the sentencing, too. This being Texas, conspiracy for Murder 1 can still carry the death penalty.

Now, keep in mind the silent person in all this: Bart's father. The man who was targeted to be shot, the man who's son killed his wife and youngest son. The father is pleading for the jury to spare his son's life-to only sentence him to life in prison. In interviews with the father, he stated, "That first night of the shooting, I forgave all those involved. I wanted to be able to move forward myself and I couldn't do that if I carried the anger and hurt from the murders."

Wow. Can any of us even imagine being in this man's position? There are so many angles to this story, but what will always stick out ifs how the father could forgive and move on so easily. Was it really that easy? He certainly made it ;look so.

And, with apologies for being so tardy, I now post a second blog from Dr. William Sameck who, after September's newsletter, wrote me some of his thoughts on forgiveness which I'd like to share. Here goes:

Dirty Dog!

Have you heard all the ruckus around Dog The Bounty Hunter?

Dog,, on a private call to his son, dropped the N word several times, along with plenty of profanity. His son then sold the recording of the conversation to the National Enquirer for a handsome profitt. When the tape went public, you can imagine what hot water Dog is now in for his comments.

Personally, I've never watched a full episode of Dog. I really have no opinion of him, other than apparently he's got a pretty unique look since a bunch of folks dressed up as Dog for Halloween.

But what of a son ratting out his father? Sure, Dog is an idiot with racist views, but the bigger crime than stupidity and ignorance is outright disloyalty to one's family. Shame on Dog for being such a closed-minded guy, but bigger shame on his son for selling out his father's career for nothing more than financial gain.

University of West Georgia

Tuesday, Oct. 30, I had the privilege of speaking at the

University of West Georgia.

Thanks to the marketing efforts put out by several different departments on campus, we had more in the venue than the fire marshall should allow! A very special thanks to Debra Duggan for being such an awesome client to work with!

Thanks to the peer educators who helped host the event and to the Kappa Sigma chapter at West Georgia for taking me to lunch!

If you're a West Georgia student who wants more information on peer education and healthy choices, stop by the health center and talk to Debra... she's awesome!

Spooky Stuff!

Okay, I'm a big nerd and I love, Love, LOVE all the real life spook stuff that is on Discovery and History and A & E around Halloween.

Last night, I caught an interesting episode of some paranormal show about the East State Prison in PA.

Apparently, this prison was build in the 1800s and closed in the later part of the 20th century. It started out with the best of intentions; a different kind of incarceration for prisoners. New, innovative, less cruel. Thing is, it turned out to be even more cruel and unusual than any other prison on earth. Devices that would make a torturer grin with glee were routine. Things like tongue clips to shred the muscles of the tongue were used to "promote" silence amongst the prisoners.

How could something that started out as being a new and positive step in tthe right direction for corrections go so tragically wrong? Well, how often does this happen?

So often, things are started with the best of intentions...yet end up being detriments. Communism? Started out as a great theory. Equality amongst all people. In practice? Doesn't work real well. Organized religion? Again, sometimes works, sometimes has really harmful consequences. Guns? In the hands of the right people, no problem. Thing is, the "right people" aren't the only gun owners.

There are always a variety of aspects for why something is started as a good thing, but then ends up being harmful. At the basis of almost everything that goes bad are human beings. The decisions to abuse something good for power, ego or benefit are human emotions which most humans would be better off without.