Do you make resolutions? If so, do you keep them?
Studies show the vast majority of folks who make resolutions end up failing to meet said promises. Shocking, right? I think the reason so many people fail is because they state a gigantic, almost unobtainable goal. Then, the icing on the cake? They set multiple goals, making it even more difficult!
Losing weight is a big goal. So is quitting smoking. So are a lot of the big lifestyle change resolutions. The thing is, one is tough, two? Really, REALLY tough.
When using the whole resolution-making time, I flash back to goal setting workshops and being SMART(acronym for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely). Usually, resolutions include a few of these, but without the full combination of SMART, there’s no blueprint for success.
A few years ago, I sat in on a workshop given by a business expert. As an entrepreneur, he discouraged business plans, instead opting for a marketing plan. Thinking being, if you set a marketing plan into motion, the business will follow. Makes sense to me!
So when it comes to resolutions, I make small, frequent changes the goal. Like, instead of resolving to lose 40 lbs., I’m resolving to get on the treadmill for 30 minutes every day. Keeping this promise means I will, in fact, lose the extra weight. Instead of resolving to be a kinder, gentler person, I’m resolving to meditate for a minimum of five minutes every day. If I do this, a calm will certainly follow. Instead of resolving to have my best financial year ever, in spite of a slow economy, I’m making the resolution to make a minimum of 100 new contacts per week, blog at least once per week on my other blogs, and finish one new chapter per week in “The Other End Of The Stethoscope #2.” Again, when I do these things, the success I want is sure to follow.
Instead of setting ginormous goals, this year, resolve to do the little things that lead to the successes you want!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
2008-The Year That Was
Since it’s December 31, I, like most everyone, am reflecting back on the last 365 days. Where was I a year ago? Physically, mentally, emotionally? What have I experienced, accomplished and learned from this year? Let’s just do some bloviating on the subject…
I’ve now spent one full calendar year as a married guy. Do I enjoy being married? Absolutely! For all the belly aching by comedians, friends and talk shows, you’d think marriage was a death sentence. Not so, Al Bundy. It is a constant challenge to meld the lives of two individuals, especially when each brings so much history to the table. Yet, every pinch, grumble or tense maritial situation is a teaching tool. At least, that’s how I’ve chosen to view it. In this year, I’ve learned a lot of ways to better control myself, give up control in unnecessary areas and be more Zen about my closest relationships. Lots of stuff learned in 08, but this is likely the most precious.
In August came the double whammy. My stepson, Jordan, left home and started his freshman year at the University of Florida. My stepdaughter, Maddison, made the wise and mature choice to re-create herself into the person she wants to be. That’s a wonderful thing…but it did lead to her choosing to do this by living with her father in Texas. In the span of 13 months, I went from single guy to stepfather to empty nester. Ain’t no one can say I move slow!
It was tough giving up both kids to the lives they’ve chosen, but ultimately, I’ve learned, that’s what every parent should hope for: children growing up healthy, happy and motivated to create the best life possible.
2008 was a weird sort of year, career wise. I learned that in business, if someone does not meet a set deadline, do not hesitate to end that working relationship…immediately. This came after being screwed around for a mere nine months by my graphic designer. Giving folks the benefit of the doubt is good, but at some point, it just becomes someone taking advantage of your good naturedness. Drawing boundaries with business relationships is just as valueable as interpersonal relationships.
Another business lesson from 08 is simply to trust my gut. In May, I parted ways with the college bureau which had been “booking” me for the previous year. Had I listened to my gut instead of empty promises, I could have saved a lot of time, money and stress. This situation also reinforced the old Simon & Garfunkel lyric, “A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.” I’ve never been a fan of people who take no personal responsibility, but I’ve found that in business, it’s even more distasteful.
And speaking of personal responsibility, I failed in some of my blogging goals. I have the goal to blog every day. In 2008? Not even close. I do, however, hope the quality of blog posts is more meaningful than quantity. Throw in the creation of “Drunk Driving Speaker” and “Health Care Speaker” blogs which began back in the spring and I hope my lack of Engel’s Ensights posts will be looked at as less of a failure, and more of an expansion.
2008 was the year of increased technology for yours truly, too. When I began the year, I was at the same point technologically as I’d been for the previous several years. Thanks to my good buddy in Houston, Ron Graham, I’ve absorbed some geeky technological advancements that have increased the quality of my life. First? The purchase of a Victor Reader Stream from Humanware. If you’re blind or know someone who is, this is a device which has changed my life…and will probably do the same for many others. Now, instead of carrying around a walkman-ish four track tape player with one book, I’m toting a smaller digital device with over 30 books at a time, not to mention dozens of movies, podcasts, voice notes and albums. It’s like having an entire accessible library at my fingertips-and let me tell ya, when you live on planes like I do, you’re looking for every bit of entertainment you can find!
Second big tech advance? My ability to text message with my Pantech Duo phone with accessible software. Granted, texting is nothing new, but since I’ve been able to text, it’s bonded me closer to my stepkids than anything else has been able to do. Gotta talk to them in their own language, after all!
In the span of a month this spring, I presented at two very different high schools with very different students, but both taught me a great lesson: people are just people.
See, in March, I presented for a small, private Catholic high school in the mid-west. This school gives low income, underprivledged kids the opportunity for a great education, coupling that with life skills on the job. The kids at St. Peter Claver, Cristo Rey High in Omaha turned out to be some of the most generous, loving, insightful students I’ve had the pleasure of working with.
The following month, I spoke for Rye Country Day High School in Rye, NY. This school is private, selective, wealthy and the students? Exactly the same as those in Omaha. People are just people. Kids are just kids. Love all people, treat everyone equally and fairly and I think you’ll find the majority of differences are only apparent if you’re looking for them.
Globally. Well, any genius can see our economic markets rise and fall (mostly falling). For a while, I sat in anxious silence, grinding my teeth together, feeling nauseous and fearing the entire economy will come tumbling down. Then? I’m left with an economy in which I cannot thrive nor survive. But alas, a wise man once said, “Change the things you can “(this would be my old principal, BTW). As best I could, I’ve let this turmoil go. Do I still fear a further downturn in our economy? Sure! But I refuse to let it seep into my every thought. Life is too short to worry.
Politically: Election years suck. I got so flipping sick of all the negative press, all the ridiculous promises of candidates, all the people that feel a new president will either make or break our country. Not so, not so. Now that we have a new president, I’m happy all the election stuff is over. I’m also excited to support our new leader and hope folks will remember one thing that’s often forgotten: at the end of the day, we’re all Americans (well, other than the people who aren’t Americans)
Geographically, I learned to love some new places this year. Namely, Austin, Texas and Los Angeles. Both cities bring along their fair share of stereotyping, but open your eyes to the positive and you’ll see it, same as with anything.
Were there other 2008 things I’d like to share? Sure! But this is a blog, not a novel. So, with that wrap up, I’ll bid a fond farewell to 2008, welcome 09 in with open arms and wish everyone a happy new year!
I’ve now spent one full calendar year as a married guy. Do I enjoy being married? Absolutely! For all the belly aching by comedians, friends and talk shows, you’d think marriage was a death sentence. Not so, Al Bundy. It is a constant challenge to meld the lives of two individuals, especially when each brings so much history to the table. Yet, every pinch, grumble or tense maritial situation is a teaching tool. At least, that’s how I’ve chosen to view it. In this year, I’ve learned a lot of ways to better control myself, give up control in unnecessary areas and be more Zen about my closest relationships. Lots of stuff learned in 08, but this is likely the most precious.
In August came the double whammy. My stepson, Jordan, left home and started his freshman year at the University of Florida. My stepdaughter, Maddison, made the wise and mature choice to re-create herself into the person she wants to be. That’s a wonderful thing…but it did lead to her choosing to do this by living with her father in Texas. In the span of 13 months, I went from single guy to stepfather to empty nester. Ain’t no one can say I move slow!
It was tough giving up both kids to the lives they’ve chosen, but ultimately, I’ve learned, that’s what every parent should hope for: children growing up healthy, happy and motivated to create the best life possible.
2008 was a weird sort of year, career wise. I learned that in business, if someone does not meet a set deadline, do not hesitate to end that working relationship…immediately. This came after being screwed around for a mere nine months by my graphic designer. Giving folks the benefit of the doubt is good, but at some point, it just becomes someone taking advantage of your good naturedness. Drawing boundaries with business relationships is just as valueable as interpersonal relationships.
Another business lesson from 08 is simply to trust my gut. In May, I parted ways with the college bureau which had been “booking” me for the previous year. Had I listened to my gut instead of empty promises, I could have saved a lot of time, money and stress. This situation also reinforced the old Simon & Garfunkel lyric, “A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.” I’ve never been a fan of people who take no personal responsibility, but I’ve found that in business, it’s even more distasteful.
And speaking of personal responsibility, I failed in some of my blogging goals. I have the goal to blog every day. In 2008? Not even close. I do, however, hope the quality of blog posts is more meaningful than quantity. Throw in the creation of “Drunk Driving Speaker” and “Health Care Speaker” blogs which began back in the spring and I hope my lack of Engel’s Ensights posts will be looked at as less of a failure, and more of an expansion.
2008 was the year of increased technology for yours truly, too. When I began the year, I was at the same point technologically as I’d been for the previous several years. Thanks to my good buddy in Houston, Ron Graham, I’ve absorbed some geeky technological advancements that have increased the quality of my life. First? The purchase of a Victor Reader Stream from Humanware. If you’re blind or know someone who is, this is a device which has changed my life…and will probably do the same for many others. Now, instead of carrying around a walkman-ish four track tape player with one book, I’m toting a smaller digital device with over 30 books at a time, not to mention dozens of movies, podcasts, voice notes and albums. It’s like having an entire accessible library at my fingertips-and let me tell ya, when you live on planes like I do, you’re looking for every bit of entertainment you can find!
Second big tech advance? My ability to text message with my Pantech Duo phone with accessible software. Granted, texting is nothing new, but since I’ve been able to text, it’s bonded me closer to my stepkids than anything else has been able to do. Gotta talk to them in their own language, after all!
In the span of a month this spring, I presented at two very different high schools with very different students, but both taught me a great lesson: people are just people.
See, in March, I presented for a small, private Catholic high school in the mid-west. This school gives low income, underprivledged kids the opportunity for a great education, coupling that with life skills on the job. The kids at St. Peter Claver, Cristo Rey High in Omaha turned out to be some of the most generous, loving, insightful students I’ve had the pleasure of working with.
The following month, I spoke for Rye Country Day High School in Rye, NY. This school is private, selective, wealthy and the students? Exactly the same as those in Omaha. People are just people. Kids are just kids. Love all people, treat everyone equally and fairly and I think you’ll find the majority of differences are only apparent if you’re looking for them.
Globally. Well, any genius can see our economic markets rise and fall (mostly falling). For a while, I sat in anxious silence, grinding my teeth together, feeling nauseous and fearing the entire economy will come tumbling down. Then? I’m left with an economy in which I cannot thrive nor survive. But alas, a wise man once said, “Change the things you can “(this would be my old principal, BTW). As best I could, I’ve let this turmoil go. Do I still fear a further downturn in our economy? Sure! But I refuse to let it seep into my every thought. Life is too short to worry.
Politically: Election years suck. I got so flipping sick of all the negative press, all the ridiculous promises of candidates, all the people that feel a new president will either make or break our country. Not so, not so. Now that we have a new president, I’m happy all the election stuff is over. I’m also excited to support our new leader and hope folks will remember one thing that’s often forgotten: at the end of the day, we’re all Americans (well, other than the people who aren’t Americans)
Geographically, I learned to love some new places this year. Namely, Austin, Texas and Los Angeles. Both cities bring along their fair share of stereotyping, but open your eyes to the positive and you’ll see it, same as with anything.
Were there other 2008 things I’d like to share? Sure! But this is a blog, not a novel. So, with that wrap up, I’ll bid a fond farewell to 2008, welcome 09 in with open arms and wish everyone a happy new year!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Would You Give A Gift To A Brat You Don't Know?
Last night on a Southwest Airlines flight, Marvelyne and I were seated in front of an unaccompanied eight year old kid. Even with as much as I love kids, unaccompanied children on flights can sometimes be a challenge. This kid was to prove to be no exception to the rule!
The flight attendant seated a gentleman in the same row as the boy. The man, a good-natured, slow talking Texan, had a good spirit around him and happily accepted his role as partial babysitter. When he sat down, he immediately engaged the kid on a kid’s level; asking him questions about who he’d been visiting in Florida, where he lived, what grade he was in, what he wanted for Christmas, etc.
With the question about Christmas gifts, the boy said he wanted a double barrel Nerf shotgun. I doubt the gentleman is up on the latest Nerf products, so he asked the boy, “Do you have a Wii?” The boy answered, “Well, I want one, but my mom can’t afford it, so I’m asking for the Nerf gun.”
For a third grader to understand a parent’s financial issues is one thing. For that same kid to take it to the next level and want to help is another.
When the flight attendants started handing out beverages, the boy asked, “What’s the cheapest drink you have?”
Think about that for a second, folks…he’s a third grader on a cross country flight. Literally, Fort Lauderdale to Oakland, CA. He’s been away from home for eight days. He’s aware his mom is strapped for cash. He’s changed his wish list to accommodate what Mom can afford. Now, he’s taking it upon himself to be sure he’s purchasing the cheapest thing they have (BTW, everyone around him smiled when he got excited since the drinks are all free!)
Sweet, sensitive kid, huh? Not so much…
For the rest of the flight, he proceeded to kick the chair in front of him, to literally yell out for 10 seconds at a time, to play loudly with his G.I. Joes, to whistle and, in general, be a total pest. By the time we landed in Austin, I was glad to be getting off the plane.
As we taxied to the gate, the gentleman next to him handed him something. I’m not 100% sure what it was, but I figure it was money. He said to the boy, “Do you think if I give this to you, you can hang onto it and give it to your mom?” “Yes, I’ll put it in my wallet right now,” the boy answered. “You tell your mom to have a merry Christmas…and you do the same, okay?” The kid agreed.
Folks, there wasn’t anyone within earshot who didn’t have tears in their eyes. Maybe it’s because it’s Christmas. Maybe this is the kind of thing this man would do year round. Maybe it was feeling sorry for the kid’s financial plight.
Whatever it was, I want to be more like this Texan. Frankly, by the time I’d listened to the kid whistling loudly for an hour, I was just ready to remove myself from his presence. But this guy gave the kid grace, generosity and compassion-something I think I may lack. Even with all that annoyance from the flight, he still went back to wanting to help the little boy in the seat next to him…that same little kid who asked about soda prices and wanted to be sure his mama could afford his Christmas gifts.
What can you do to be more generous this time of year? Actually, any time during the year? And are you like this Texan? Willing to bend over backwards to help those less fortunate? Even if those less fortunate folks are annoying?
This was a Christmas Eve I’ll never forget…mainly because I want to work all year long at being like this Texan. I hope you’ll do the same.
The flight attendant seated a gentleman in the same row as the boy. The man, a good-natured, slow talking Texan, had a good spirit around him and happily accepted his role as partial babysitter. When he sat down, he immediately engaged the kid on a kid’s level; asking him questions about who he’d been visiting in Florida, where he lived, what grade he was in, what he wanted for Christmas, etc.
With the question about Christmas gifts, the boy said he wanted a double barrel Nerf shotgun. I doubt the gentleman is up on the latest Nerf products, so he asked the boy, “Do you have a Wii?” The boy answered, “Well, I want one, but my mom can’t afford it, so I’m asking for the Nerf gun.”
For a third grader to understand a parent’s financial issues is one thing. For that same kid to take it to the next level and want to help is another.
When the flight attendants started handing out beverages, the boy asked, “What’s the cheapest drink you have?”
Think about that for a second, folks…he’s a third grader on a cross country flight. Literally, Fort Lauderdale to Oakland, CA. He’s been away from home for eight days. He’s aware his mom is strapped for cash. He’s changed his wish list to accommodate what Mom can afford. Now, he’s taking it upon himself to be sure he’s purchasing the cheapest thing they have (BTW, everyone around him smiled when he got excited since the drinks are all free!)
Sweet, sensitive kid, huh? Not so much…
For the rest of the flight, he proceeded to kick the chair in front of him, to literally yell out for 10 seconds at a time, to play loudly with his G.I. Joes, to whistle and, in general, be a total pest. By the time we landed in Austin, I was glad to be getting off the plane.
As we taxied to the gate, the gentleman next to him handed him something. I’m not 100% sure what it was, but I figure it was money. He said to the boy, “Do you think if I give this to you, you can hang onto it and give it to your mom?” “Yes, I’ll put it in my wallet right now,” the boy answered. “You tell your mom to have a merry Christmas…and you do the same, okay?” The kid agreed.
Folks, there wasn’t anyone within earshot who didn’t have tears in their eyes. Maybe it’s because it’s Christmas. Maybe this is the kind of thing this man would do year round. Maybe it was feeling sorry for the kid’s financial plight.
Whatever it was, I want to be more like this Texan. Frankly, by the time I’d listened to the kid whistling loudly for an hour, I was just ready to remove myself from his presence. But this guy gave the kid grace, generosity and compassion-something I think I may lack. Even with all that annoyance from the flight, he still went back to wanting to help the little boy in the seat next to him…that same little kid who asked about soda prices and wanted to be sure his mama could afford his Christmas gifts.
What can you do to be more generous this time of year? Actually, any time during the year? And are you like this Texan? Willing to bend over backwards to help those less fortunate? Even if those less fortunate folks are annoying?
This was a Christmas Eve I’ll never forget…mainly because I want to work all year long at being like this Texan. I hope you’ll do the same.
Are You As Fair As A Dog?
People who are unfair have less intelligence than dogs.
Bold statement, huh? Not to insult our incredibly bright canine friends, but more to show the low aptitude and lack of compassion/empathy of some people.
The University of Portsmouth in England has a new study on dogs…and humans should take a lesson.
Researchers took two dogs, asked each to shake, both did. However, they rewarded only one dog. Next experiment? Same thing…same two dogs, asked them to shake, dogs extended a paw, but the same dog got the treat again. Rinse and repeat.
After doing this several times, the unrewarded dog refused to participate and actually started treating the other dog badly. Researchers hypothesized that dogs can truly understand fairness and even feel such complex emotions as guilt, jealousy, embarrassment and resentment.
Here we are at the holidays. A time we all give gifts to one another, generosity is at it’s peak, it’s just a good time to give and receive…unless you have that one infuriating and unfair person in your life. You know, the kind of person who gives a Nintendo Wii for a brother, but socks and underware for his sister. Or take the example of adults having a favorite child (which is really crappy parenting, BTW). They’ll shower gifts in bulk on one child, but his/her siblings get little to nothing.
Kids pick up on unfairness. They see it. And if you’re the kid on the short end of the stick, it hurts. And you remember it. And…no matter how old you are, if you’re the adult child being treated unfairly by the previous generation, it hurts you as bad as the little sister who only got socks.
I’m lucky. While total, 110% equality is impossible, I had parents who did their level best to be sure my sister and I were treated fairly. And when we went to my grandparents’ house? Same thing-approximately the same amount of money was spent on gifts. And if one kid had a $100 gift, but the other had 10 $10 gifts, the gift givers (maybe it was Santa? Who knows?!) found several inexpensive (or free) gifts to wrap for the kid who got the big thing. Again, dollar amounts were as close to identical as possible, so were the numbers of gifts. It only makes sense, doesn’t it? So why do some people choose to treat their recipients with so much inequity?
It doesn’t take a genius to figure how much it hurts children, even adult children, when there is inequity without even a hint of fairness. Now that I have stepchildren of my own, the one thing I hope I always do is practice fairness and equality toward each of them.
Folks, unfairness and inequality among family members is something that just makes my blood boil. I simply cannot understand how some gift givers are so emotionally unintelligent as to not only participate in inequality, but some even seem to thrive in it!
It’s Christmas. It’s a time for families. It’s a time for generosity. It’s a time for bonding. Yet, nothing can break down those bonds faster than the simple observance of inequality.
Please, faithful reader, practice justice in gift giving. Maybe instead of holiday cheer, we should really be focused on holiday fairness. If our four legged friends feel it, then your human relatives certainly will, too.
Here’s to holiday fairness for all!
Bold statement, huh? Not to insult our incredibly bright canine friends, but more to show the low aptitude and lack of compassion/empathy of some people.
The University of Portsmouth in England has a new study on dogs…and humans should take a lesson.
Researchers took two dogs, asked each to shake, both did. However, they rewarded only one dog. Next experiment? Same thing…same two dogs, asked them to shake, dogs extended a paw, but the same dog got the treat again. Rinse and repeat.
After doing this several times, the unrewarded dog refused to participate and actually started treating the other dog badly. Researchers hypothesized that dogs can truly understand fairness and even feel such complex emotions as guilt, jealousy, embarrassment and resentment.
Here we are at the holidays. A time we all give gifts to one another, generosity is at it’s peak, it’s just a good time to give and receive…unless you have that one infuriating and unfair person in your life. You know, the kind of person who gives a Nintendo Wii for a brother, but socks and underware for his sister. Or take the example of adults having a favorite child (which is really crappy parenting, BTW). They’ll shower gifts in bulk on one child, but his/her siblings get little to nothing.
Kids pick up on unfairness. They see it. And if you’re the kid on the short end of the stick, it hurts. And you remember it. And…no matter how old you are, if you’re the adult child being treated unfairly by the previous generation, it hurts you as bad as the little sister who only got socks.
I’m lucky. While total, 110% equality is impossible, I had parents who did their level best to be sure my sister and I were treated fairly. And when we went to my grandparents’ house? Same thing-approximately the same amount of money was spent on gifts. And if one kid had a $100 gift, but the other had 10 $10 gifts, the gift givers (maybe it was Santa? Who knows?!) found several inexpensive (or free) gifts to wrap for the kid who got the big thing. Again, dollar amounts were as close to identical as possible, so were the numbers of gifts. It only makes sense, doesn’t it? So why do some people choose to treat their recipients with so much inequity?
It doesn’t take a genius to figure how much it hurts children, even adult children, when there is inequity without even a hint of fairness. Now that I have stepchildren of my own, the one thing I hope I always do is practice fairness and equality toward each of them.
Folks, unfairness and inequality among family members is something that just makes my blood boil. I simply cannot understand how some gift givers are so emotionally unintelligent as to not only participate in inequality, but some even seem to thrive in it!
It’s Christmas. It’s a time for families. It’s a time for generosity. It’s a time for bonding. Yet, nothing can break down those bonds faster than the simple observance of inequality.
Please, faithful reader, practice justice in gift giving. Maybe instead of holiday cheer, we should really be focused on holiday fairness. If our four legged friends feel it, then your human relatives certainly will, too.
Here’s to holiday fairness for all!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Arrogance and Entitlement
Until last evening, I’d never heard of former CT governor, John Rowland. Even as closely as I watch politics, Rowland’s time in the limelight was nearly five years ago-before I kept close tabs on such things.
However, if you’re from CT, you probably know the governor as a crook. And he is-self admittedly.
See, with all the hoopla about the current governor situation in Illinois, much more attention is being paid to other political figures controversial doings. Rowland doesn’t have anything quite as blatant on his record as the current IL governor, but nonetheless, the law is the law…and Rowland broke that law. He resigned from office in 2004, admitted his mistake, was found guilty and served 10 months in a federal pen in Pennsylvania.
Last night, I was flipping around the tube and found Mike Huckabee’s show on Fox News. Rowland was Huckabee’s guest and spoke openly and candidly of his illegal affairs. I’m quick to write off lawbreakers as crooks, especially politicians. Rowland is no different, but after his interview, I cut the guy a little slack. Why, when I despise pretty much all politicians, would I give grace to an admitted crook? Simple: we all make mistakes. When one admits those mistakes and openly (and honestly) tries to right that wrong, I’m a little more compassionate. Rowland, from what I gathered last night, ain’t just blowing smoke. He seemed genuinely sorry for his deeds and doesn’t try to redirect the public eye from his wrongdoings.
When Huckabee asked Rowland why he committed his crimes, Rowland spoke about his arrogance. An elected politician since the young age of 23, Rowland worked his way up through the CT political scene until he was elected three times-the first trice elected CT governor in over 200 years, not to mention the youngest CT governor ever.
But, he said, he started believing his own press releases. He actually believed all the butt kissing yes men around him, started feeling as though laws didn’t apply to him and, well, his actions got him caught by the feds. He very plainly says he was arrogant, felt a great sense of entitlement and the combination of these two were the ingredients that led to his downfall.
Again, my Rowland knowledge comes from reading about him on Wikipedia just now, and a 10 minute interview last night. I’m not well educated enough to comment if he’s a great guy, or a crook per sey, but I do agree with his summations on arrogance and entitlement.
When one starts believing the great things people say about them, there’s trouble afoot. This is a personal thing for me-and a fine line to walk for most every speaker I know.
In my business, where self promotion is the name of the game, this is an easy trap to fall into-and I never, EVER want to start thinking I’m something great. Instead, I think the information I have is great. That information is the thing which keeps the audience and my readership asking for more. I’m not cool enough to be the guy on my press releases, but I do know there is information I have which has helped me-and can help others.
If I ever stop distinguishing between the two, someone tell me, okay? I’ll never do something so disingenuous I’ll do time, but my integrity will always be something I’ll work hard to preserve.
However, if you’re from CT, you probably know the governor as a crook. And he is-self admittedly.
See, with all the hoopla about the current governor situation in Illinois, much more attention is being paid to other political figures controversial doings. Rowland doesn’t have anything quite as blatant on his record as the current IL governor, but nonetheless, the law is the law…and Rowland broke that law. He resigned from office in 2004, admitted his mistake, was found guilty and served 10 months in a federal pen in Pennsylvania.
Last night, I was flipping around the tube and found Mike Huckabee’s show on Fox News. Rowland was Huckabee’s guest and spoke openly and candidly of his illegal affairs. I’m quick to write off lawbreakers as crooks, especially politicians. Rowland is no different, but after his interview, I cut the guy a little slack. Why, when I despise pretty much all politicians, would I give grace to an admitted crook? Simple: we all make mistakes. When one admits those mistakes and openly (and honestly) tries to right that wrong, I’m a little more compassionate. Rowland, from what I gathered last night, ain’t just blowing smoke. He seemed genuinely sorry for his deeds and doesn’t try to redirect the public eye from his wrongdoings.
When Huckabee asked Rowland why he committed his crimes, Rowland spoke about his arrogance. An elected politician since the young age of 23, Rowland worked his way up through the CT political scene until he was elected three times-the first trice elected CT governor in over 200 years, not to mention the youngest CT governor ever.
But, he said, he started believing his own press releases. He actually believed all the butt kissing yes men around him, started feeling as though laws didn’t apply to him and, well, his actions got him caught by the feds. He very plainly says he was arrogant, felt a great sense of entitlement and the combination of these two were the ingredients that led to his downfall.
Again, my Rowland knowledge comes from reading about him on Wikipedia just now, and a 10 minute interview last night. I’m not well educated enough to comment if he’s a great guy, or a crook per sey, but I do agree with his summations on arrogance and entitlement.
When one starts believing the great things people say about them, there’s trouble afoot. This is a personal thing for me-and a fine line to walk for most every speaker I know.
In my business, where self promotion is the name of the game, this is an easy trap to fall into-and I never, EVER want to start thinking I’m something great. Instead, I think the information I have is great. That information is the thing which keeps the audience and my readership asking for more. I’m not cool enough to be the guy on my press releases, but I do know there is information I have which has helped me-and can help others.
If I ever stop distinguishing between the two, someone tell me, okay? I’ll never do something so disingenuous I’ll do time, but my integrity will always be something I’ll work hard to preserve.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Courageous Heart
Over the last few years, I’ve written several blogs and newsletters about the DeWalle family in St. Louis. Barb DeWalle is my favorite nurse from my tour of duty in Barnes Hospital and someone you may have read about in, “After This…”
One of my first conversations with Barb was about her son, Mark. We share a name (though a different spelling), we were teenagers at the same time and, most importantly, we both played (and loved) football. Mark was a member of the state champion Mehlville Panthers football team during his senior year of high school. Ain’t too many high school players can say that!
A few years after high school, Mark was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. He took the chemo and fight head on and beat it…for a few years. When the recurrence of this cancer came back, Mark knew his chances of beating it again were slim. He put up a gallant effort, but ultimately made the decision to take control of his own life…and refused any further treatments.
Before he finally passed away in June of 07, he spoke with his family about leaving a legacy which meant so much to him: Mehlville football. Soon after his death, the Mark DeWalle Courageous Heart medal was created. This award is given every year to a Mehlville High School football player who shows great promise of overcoming adversity and keeping a positive attitude.
What’s more, Mark’s older brother, John, handed out the medal since he’s a Mehlville football coach. On Mark’s blog (which his mom, Barb, keeps updated) is his brother’s speech as the medal was awarded to this year’s recipient.
If you’re a former athlete, or the parent of a high school athlete, I hope you’ll take a look at:
www.MarkDewalle.com
and see some of the things John said-truer words could not have been spoken. Football is more than just a high school sport-it’s a teaching tool to help the development of young men, turning them from immature boys into adults who face challenges head on. And I’m one of these guys, too…
Scroll down to Barb’s post from Dec. 9 to see John’s speech and the announcement of the winner of the Mark DeWalle Courageous Heart medal.
One of my first conversations with Barb was about her son, Mark. We share a name (though a different spelling), we were teenagers at the same time and, most importantly, we both played (and loved) football. Mark was a member of the state champion Mehlville Panthers football team during his senior year of high school. Ain’t too many high school players can say that!
A few years after high school, Mark was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. He took the chemo and fight head on and beat it…for a few years. When the recurrence of this cancer came back, Mark knew his chances of beating it again were slim. He put up a gallant effort, but ultimately made the decision to take control of his own life…and refused any further treatments.
Before he finally passed away in June of 07, he spoke with his family about leaving a legacy which meant so much to him: Mehlville football. Soon after his death, the Mark DeWalle Courageous Heart medal was created. This award is given every year to a Mehlville High School football player who shows great promise of overcoming adversity and keeping a positive attitude.
What’s more, Mark’s older brother, John, handed out the medal since he’s a Mehlville football coach. On Mark’s blog (which his mom, Barb, keeps updated) is his brother’s speech as the medal was awarded to this year’s recipient.
If you’re a former athlete, or the parent of a high school athlete, I hope you’ll take a look at:
www.MarkDewalle.com
and see some of the things John said-truer words could not have been spoken. Football is more than just a high school sport-it’s a teaching tool to help the development of young men, turning them from immature boys into adults who face challenges head on. And I’m one of these guys, too…
Scroll down to Barb’s post from Dec. 9 to see John’s speech and the announcement of the winner of the Mark DeWalle Courageous Heart medal.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Weird Relatives And What We Can Learn From Them
Do you have anyone goofy in your family? Ya know, that one weird uncle who can’t speak a sentence without mentioning duck hunting. Or the aunt who has more cats than bedrooms. Or the cousin who believes every conspiracy theory ever uttered. Sure you do-we’ve all got someone like this!
In my family, we have an extended relative who is kinda an odd bird, but totally harmless. And after being around him a little on this trip home, I realized something I’d never really noticed before.
Let me paint you a little portrait…
This guy is around 60, retired and lives in small town Missouri. Several years ago, he and his wife renewed their vows…but not only did the ceremony have the usual re-commitment of husband to wife (and vice versa), this ceremony included something more: interpretive dancers.
Now, my family are salt of the earth, pragmatic, sensible mid-westerners. They are NOT the type of folk who even know what interpretive dance is, much less would pay interpretive dancers to display their art. Yet? There they were! Flitting around the church sanctuary, trailing those ten foot long streamers from dowl rods, making quite the spectacle!
And this fella rides a scooter. One of those 50 cc engine motorbikes you might see ridden around college campuses or retirement villages-but NOT on state highways through cornfields and past farms.
Another thing? He crochets! Seriously, crochets! I did some latch hook as a kid, and I tried to cross stitch once with my grandma on vacation, but a seamstress (seamster?) I am not! And how many people (much less men) even still know this lost art?
All these eccentric things are just the tip of the iceberg. The stories can go on for hours about other things this relative has been involved in over the years.
And yet? He just doesn’t care what anyone thinks. He rides his scooter, he crochets blankets for his grandkids-and he doesn’t care that these things are looked upon by others with a bit of a raised eyebrow. He’s either incredibly secure with who he is-or he’s oblivious to the fact his lifestyle choices are, well, kinda odd for who he is.
But he does everything with a gusto and passion for life, never incumbered by stereotypes or the desire to impress people.
That, faithful reader, is something I, too, would like to strive for. So often, we don’t do what we want and love, but we do what we think others expect. To put aside all opinions and just live life on one’s own terms is impressive-and I want to be a little more like my weird relative.
In my family, we have an extended relative who is kinda an odd bird, but totally harmless. And after being around him a little on this trip home, I realized something I’d never really noticed before.
Let me paint you a little portrait…
This guy is around 60, retired and lives in small town Missouri. Several years ago, he and his wife renewed their vows…but not only did the ceremony have the usual re-commitment of husband to wife (and vice versa), this ceremony included something more: interpretive dancers.
Now, my family are salt of the earth, pragmatic, sensible mid-westerners. They are NOT the type of folk who even know what interpretive dance is, much less would pay interpretive dancers to display their art. Yet? There they were! Flitting around the church sanctuary, trailing those ten foot long streamers from dowl rods, making quite the spectacle!
And this fella rides a scooter. One of those 50 cc engine motorbikes you might see ridden around college campuses or retirement villages-but NOT on state highways through cornfields and past farms.
Another thing? He crochets! Seriously, crochets! I did some latch hook as a kid, and I tried to cross stitch once with my grandma on vacation, but a seamstress (seamster?) I am not! And how many people (much less men) even still know this lost art?
All these eccentric things are just the tip of the iceberg. The stories can go on for hours about other things this relative has been involved in over the years.
And yet? He just doesn’t care what anyone thinks. He rides his scooter, he crochets blankets for his grandkids-and he doesn’t care that these things are looked upon by others with a bit of a raised eyebrow. He’s either incredibly secure with who he is-or he’s oblivious to the fact his lifestyle choices are, well, kinda odd for who he is.
But he does everything with a gusto and passion for life, never incumbered by stereotypes or the desire to impress people.
That, faithful reader, is something I, too, would like to strive for. So often, we don’t do what we want and love, but we do what we think others expect. To put aside all opinions and just live life on one’s own terms is impressive-and I want to be a little more like my weird relative.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Morton, Plant, Mease Health Care
On Monday, December 8, I was the honored speaker for the nurse managers of Morton, Plant, Mease Health Care at Morton-Plant Hospital in Clearwater, FL. Always exciting to share my message, but double that excitement to work with nurse managers who can carry that learning back to their floor nurses!
Special thanks to Robin Lapham for helping arrange the event and for being such a thorough client! Always makes my job easier when my clients are on top of their game as you are, Robin! Thanks!
Special thanks to Robin Lapham for helping arrange the event and for being such a thorough client! Always makes my job easier when my clients are on top of their game as you are, Robin! Thanks!
Saturday, December 06, 2008
It's Fine To Want...Just Don't Expect
It’s a Saturday morning and I’ve been feeling lazy ever since I woke up. So, instead of doing any work, I made a pot of coffee, grabbed my Victor Stream (blind guy’s audio reading device) and stepped out onto the back porch to finish Melissa Bank’s, “The Wonder Spot.”
All the bad economic news this week has left me in a bit of a tither. Not pulling my hair out yet, but watching the market surge and fall is enough to make anyone want a Maalox I.V. So, with my laziness today, I was excited to get lost in the story of Sophie for a while in “The Wonder Spot.”
Today’s revelation from Sophie was about expectation. Here she is a 30-something working in a dead end advertising job for the last dozen years. She doesn’t love it, it’s just a job to her. She looks around at her boyfriend (a doctor), her brother (a white collar businessman), her best friend (a playwrite) and her co-worker (a born editor). Everyone but her, she feels, has a calling to do what they’re doing. But then she looks around. The guy on the corner selling hot dogs probably never drempt of doing what he’s doing. The people going to their jobs on the subway? Same story. Only some people are lucky enough to be able to answer their calling. Sophie, she knows, is not one of them.
Then, by letting a little of her resentment go, she realizes it’s not wrong to want more-but it is wrong to expect it.
That’s almost a direct quote (but don’t quote me on it since I’m kinda anal about copyright infringement). Here, again: It’s not wrong to want more, but it is wrong to expect it.
I am so, SO lucky in my life. I have a fabulous life all around; family, career, financial security, creature comforts, sense of meaning-I’m just plain lucky. Do I want more? Absolutely! I want to earn enough money to have a thatch hut by the ocean in Bermuda, I want a log cabin in the northwoods of Minnesota, I want a condo in downtown Austin, I want to be able to buy every guitar ever played by Johnny Cash, I want to be able to eat at a fine restaurant every night, then have the dough to pay the plastic surgeon to give me a tummy tuck from excess calorie intake-I just want more!
Yet, if I come to expect more, then it doesn’t happen, I’m left disappointed and unappreciative of what I have. Expectation is just one step away from entitlement-and that is a one way ticket to lifelong disappointment.
Appreciate what you have. Feel free to want more. And do everything you can to get more. But don’t expect it will happen-living in expectation is certain to leave you disappointed if something doesn’t come to fruition.
All the bad economic news this week has left me in a bit of a tither. Not pulling my hair out yet, but watching the market surge and fall is enough to make anyone want a Maalox I.V. So, with my laziness today, I was excited to get lost in the story of Sophie for a while in “The Wonder Spot.”
Today’s revelation from Sophie was about expectation. Here she is a 30-something working in a dead end advertising job for the last dozen years. She doesn’t love it, it’s just a job to her. She looks around at her boyfriend (a doctor), her brother (a white collar businessman), her best friend (a playwrite) and her co-worker (a born editor). Everyone but her, she feels, has a calling to do what they’re doing. But then she looks around. The guy on the corner selling hot dogs probably never drempt of doing what he’s doing. The people going to their jobs on the subway? Same story. Only some people are lucky enough to be able to answer their calling. Sophie, she knows, is not one of them.
Then, by letting a little of her resentment go, she realizes it’s not wrong to want more-but it is wrong to expect it.
That’s almost a direct quote (but don’t quote me on it since I’m kinda anal about copyright infringement). Here, again: It’s not wrong to want more, but it is wrong to expect it.
I am so, SO lucky in my life. I have a fabulous life all around; family, career, financial security, creature comforts, sense of meaning-I’m just plain lucky. Do I want more? Absolutely! I want to earn enough money to have a thatch hut by the ocean in Bermuda, I want a log cabin in the northwoods of Minnesota, I want a condo in downtown Austin, I want to be able to buy every guitar ever played by Johnny Cash, I want to be able to eat at a fine restaurant every night, then have the dough to pay the plastic surgeon to give me a tummy tuck from excess calorie intake-I just want more!
Yet, if I come to expect more, then it doesn’t happen, I’m left disappointed and unappreciative of what I have. Expectation is just one step away from entitlement-and that is a one way ticket to lifelong disappointment.
Appreciate what you have. Feel free to want more. And do everything you can to get more. But don’t expect it will happen-living in expectation is certain to leave you disappointed if something doesn’t come to fruition.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Christmas In Prison
Nah, no incarceration for yours truly...not yet, at least!
I just placed John Prine's "Christmas in Prison" as the song for my MySpace profile. Prine is second only to Dylan in the whole folk singer category (a bold statement and well deserved!). "Christmas in Prison" is one of the first tunes I ever learned to play on guitar, too. In addition to it's simplicity, it's the only song I know that talks about sacharine...go figure!
www.MySpace.com/MarcusEngel
I just placed John Prine's "Christmas in Prison" as the song for my MySpace profile. Prine is second only to Dylan in the whole folk singer category (a bold statement and well deserved!). "Christmas in Prison" is one of the first tunes I ever learned to play on guitar, too. In addition to it's simplicity, it's the only song I know that talks about sacharine...go figure!
www.MySpace.com/MarcusEngel
Monday, December 01, 2008
Happy Birthday, Marvelyne!
So excited I get to spend my life with my best friend!
It's your birthday, but I'm the one who's wish was granted!
I love you!
And for you, faithful reader, here's a pic of us up in the mountains of Helen, GA last week.
And for you, faithful reader, here's a pic of us up in the mountains of Helen, GA last week.
It was a fantastic Thanksgiving vacation!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
The Wonder Spot
For the last several days, I’ve been indulging in Melissa Bank’s, “The Wonder Spot.” After reading Bank’s, “The Girl’s Guide To Hunting and Fishing” last year, I was pumped to read, “The Wonder Spot.”(Note to reader: if you’re a single female, be sure to get a copy of “The Girl’s Guide To Hunting and Fishing.” I promise you won’t be disappointed!)
Now, why might a dude like me be interested in reading books with a largely female audience? Simple: Bank is just an amazing writer! Her character development is incredibly detailed-exactly the thing that, for me, makes a novel great!
In “Spot”, there is a short story where the main character, Sophie, is an entry level editorial assistant in a Manhattan literary agency. Not only is she entry level, but Sophie struggles with incompetency; slow at typing, slow at reading, slow at writing, late for work. Yet, she’s observant and thoughtful-something which is sorely lacking in the agency.
Francine is another entry level editorial assistant who shares office space with Sophie. Both Francine and Sophie are assigned to read all the unrequested manuscripts that show up in the agency. Looking for that needle in a haystack, the diamond in the trash bin or, literally, the next big selling novel amongst ginormous stacks of manuscripts of wannabe authors.
Sophie simply skims the unrequested manuscripts, almost tossing them aside without a fair read-through. Francine, on the other hand, reads every word of every manuscript, even if she knows before the end of the first chapter that the novelist will get a “Thanks, but no thanks” form letter. Francine states that every author deserves to have their manuscript read by an agency…especially since each author may have spent the better part of a decade writing it.
Folks, speaking as someone who has sent in manuscripts to agencies (and then gotten back that “Thanks, but no thanks” letter), I really hope there are people like Francine in the world. Those who see the hard work others have done, recognize their sacrifices and, whether their product is good or not, give it the respect such a sacrifice deserves.
While I chose to self publish for a variety of reasons, I really hope that at some anonymous agency, there was a Francine giving my words the respect of a read-through.
To whom can you be Francine? Is there someone who wants your ear, but doesn’t have much of a chance of being heard? Are there people who have sacrificed great things and just need a bit of your recognition?
The Francines of the world don’t promise life-changing things…they’re just happy to give respect and recognition where it is due. Who knew I’d learn something valueable from a fictional character?
Now, why might a dude like me be interested in reading books with a largely female audience? Simple: Bank is just an amazing writer! Her character development is incredibly detailed-exactly the thing that, for me, makes a novel great!
In “Spot”, there is a short story where the main character, Sophie, is an entry level editorial assistant in a Manhattan literary agency. Not only is she entry level, but Sophie struggles with incompetency; slow at typing, slow at reading, slow at writing, late for work. Yet, she’s observant and thoughtful-something which is sorely lacking in the agency.
Francine is another entry level editorial assistant who shares office space with Sophie. Both Francine and Sophie are assigned to read all the unrequested manuscripts that show up in the agency. Looking for that needle in a haystack, the diamond in the trash bin or, literally, the next big selling novel amongst ginormous stacks of manuscripts of wannabe authors.
Sophie simply skims the unrequested manuscripts, almost tossing them aside without a fair read-through. Francine, on the other hand, reads every word of every manuscript, even if she knows before the end of the first chapter that the novelist will get a “Thanks, but no thanks” form letter. Francine states that every author deserves to have their manuscript read by an agency…especially since each author may have spent the better part of a decade writing it.
Folks, speaking as someone who has sent in manuscripts to agencies (and then gotten back that “Thanks, but no thanks” letter), I really hope there are people like Francine in the world. Those who see the hard work others have done, recognize their sacrifices and, whether their product is good or not, give it the respect such a sacrifice deserves.
While I chose to self publish for a variety of reasons, I really hope that at some anonymous agency, there was a Francine giving my words the respect of a read-through.
To whom can you be Francine? Is there someone who wants your ear, but doesn’t have much of a chance of being heard? Are there people who have sacrificed great things and just need a bit of your recognition?
The Francines of the world don’t promise life-changing things…they’re just happy to give respect and recognition where it is due. Who knew I’d learn something valueable from a fictional character?
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Be Respectful
As I said in yesterday's post, we just returned from a week in the mountains for Thanksgiving vacation. My in laws, all around, were in attendance all week, with the exceptions of my stepson, Jordan, and my nephew, Christopher.
Earlier in the week, Christopher was still in Miami for a varsity basketball game. His dad, Steve, called Christopher while I was standing nearby. After all the usual Q & A of, "How's it going?" "How'd your game go last night?", that sorta stuff, Steve left Christopher with one parting piece of advice:
"Be respectful to the Smiths." The Smiths are family friends who Christopher stayed with while his mom and dad were in the mountains.
Be respectful. That's a lot less subjective than, "Be good!" Don't you think?
Even if respect is a bit subjective, it has an air of the Golden Rule to it. Simply act in a way that tells others they are acknowledged and appreciated.
Do you always act respctful? I wish I could say YES...but I don't. And with Steve's bit of food for thought, maybe that'll start to take the place of, "Be good."
Earlier in the week, Christopher was still in Miami for a varsity basketball game. His dad, Steve, called Christopher while I was standing nearby. After all the usual Q & A of, "How's it going?" "How'd your game go last night?", that sorta stuff, Steve left Christopher with one parting piece of advice:
"Be respectful to the Smiths." The Smiths are family friends who Christopher stayed with while his mom and dad were in the mountains.
Be respectful. That's a lot less subjective than, "Be good!" Don't you think?
Even if respect is a bit subjective, it has an air of the Golden Rule to it. Simply act in a way that tells others they are acknowledged and appreciated.
Do you always act respctful? I wish I could say YES...but I don't. And with Steve's bit of food for thought, maybe that'll start to take the place of, "Be good."
Friday, November 28, 2008
Well, Did You Complain On Wednesday?
Apologies for the lack of posts this Thanksgiving week. We spent this week with my extended family in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Helen, Georgia. Had a fabulous time and, with mountain air, tons of food and neverendding conversations with family, blogging was put on the backburner.
And while I wasn't blogging, I've been wearing my "no complaints" bracelet now for the last several weeks. Wednesday was officially a No Complaint holiday-exactly what Rev. Will Bowen (author of "A Complaint Free World" is pushing for! And did I succeed in not complaining? Nope! But I tried! And it was a really fabulous day...probably partially because I was practicing my not complaining as dogmatically as I could.
And after this past week's Engel's Ensights, did you strap on a rubber band and try to live complaint free? I know several of my friends tried and I congratulate them!
More posts (with pics) coming tomorrow! Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
And while I wasn't blogging, I've been wearing my "no complaints" bracelet now for the last several weeks. Wednesday was officially a No Complaint holiday-exactly what Rev. Will Bowen (author of "A Complaint Free World" is pushing for! And did I succeed in not complaining? Nope! But I tried! And it was a really fabulous day...probably partially because I was practicing my not complaining as dogmatically as I could.
And after this past week's Engel's Ensights, did you strap on a rubber band and try to live complaint free? I know several of my friends tried and I congratulate them!
More posts (with pics) coming tomorrow! Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Rationality Takes The Reins!
Well, it had to happen sooner or later! The most feared organization finally pushed me to the limit…not the FBI, nor the CIA, not even Homeland Security…but our Home Owners Association.
Yesterday, all the home owners in our community received a letter through the mail. Basically, it said that due to a funding shortage, everyone’s home owners fees would double in 2009. Not up 20%, not 50%...but up 100%
And that’s not the worst of it! Every single home owner must pay approximately $700 in an emergency assessment. The amount must be paid in full within, oh, like three weeks, or the HOA will put an 18% interest penalty to each home AND a lien against the house.
So, last night, we got to meet all our neighbors! Everyone was up in arms about this incredibly high emergency assessment, not to mention this is coming right about the time property taxes are due AND Christmas is just a few weeks away. Ridiculous. And everyone knows it.
Grass roots efforts take place and everyone gathered together to determine what we can do about it. I begrudgingly went to this meeting, ready to have to listen to a bunch of crazies shoot off their mouths in anger. When emotions run high, people end up checking their brains at the door. But ya know? It wasn’t like that…
I was so pleased that any time someone started off on a tangent, some level-headed person would reel that person back in. When people start complaining about one thing, so often, it becomes a downward spiral. First people erupt about the high assessment, but the next thing ya know, they’re screaming about the college students partying too much, a street light that’s out, blah, blah, blah. Only once did this happen. When it did, a very controlled, rational owner stood up and said, “We need to be sure we’re keeping complaints separate. We gathered together tonight due to the assessment. We’ll have more power to negotiate the assessment if we don’t get bogged down in additional complaints.”
Ah, someone who knows how to get ‘er done! I love it!
One of my biggest pet peeves is inefficiency. A gathering of angry home owners has every possibility of having about as much efficiency as a mesh waterbed. Yet, those who understand the situation and want it corrected took the lead and, with a mission and purpose, kept things moving along.
What will be the outcome here? I don’t know for sure, but I’m very, VERY pleased to see leaders emerge. True leadership comes from an ability to step outside one’s emotions to complete the task at hand. And since some of our neighbors can do this, it makes me glad to know we’re on the right track.
Yesterday, all the home owners in our community received a letter through the mail. Basically, it said that due to a funding shortage, everyone’s home owners fees would double in 2009. Not up 20%, not 50%...but up 100%
And that’s not the worst of it! Every single home owner must pay approximately $700 in an emergency assessment. The amount must be paid in full within, oh, like three weeks, or the HOA will put an 18% interest penalty to each home AND a lien against the house.
So, last night, we got to meet all our neighbors! Everyone was up in arms about this incredibly high emergency assessment, not to mention this is coming right about the time property taxes are due AND Christmas is just a few weeks away. Ridiculous. And everyone knows it.
Grass roots efforts take place and everyone gathered together to determine what we can do about it. I begrudgingly went to this meeting, ready to have to listen to a bunch of crazies shoot off their mouths in anger. When emotions run high, people end up checking their brains at the door. But ya know? It wasn’t like that…
I was so pleased that any time someone started off on a tangent, some level-headed person would reel that person back in. When people start complaining about one thing, so often, it becomes a downward spiral. First people erupt about the high assessment, but the next thing ya know, they’re screaming about the college students partying too much, a street light that’s out, blah, blah, blah. Only once did this happen. When it did, a very controlled, rational owner stood up and said, “We need to be sure we’re keeping complaints separate. We gathered together tonight due to the assessment. We’ll have more power to negotiate the assessment if we don’t get bogged down in additional complaints.”
Ah, someone who knows how to get ‘er done! I love it!
One of my biggest pet peeves is inefficiency. A gathering of angry home owners has every possibility of having about as much efficiency as a mesh waterbed. Yet, those who understand the situation and want it corrected took the lead and, with a mission and purpose, kept things moving along.
What will be the outcome here? I don’t know for sure, but I’m very, VERY pleased to see leaders emerge. True leadership comes from an ability to step outside one’s emotions to complete the task at hand. And since some of our neighbors can do this, it makes me glad to know we’re on the right track.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
My Favorite Crab
This past weekend, we journeyed to central Texas to see my stepdaughter, Maddison, in her school play of Alice in Wonderland. Maddi played the crab and did a fabulous, FABULOUS job! (and yes, I have the right to have a slanted opinion because she's my girl!) The Belton High School students did an awesome job with the play and, maybe even more, I got something a little more meaningful out of the play...
The play wasn't word for word "Alice", but was a little more of an avant-garde interpretation of the famous story. Just like in the Lewis Carrol version, Alice drinks a potion that makes her gigantic (Big Alice) and then a different potion that shrinks her to two feet tall (Small Alice).
Not sure about you, but if I swallowed something that made me grow in over seven foot intervals, I might be pretty hacked off! Yet, Alice just seemed puzzled. I believe her actual words were, "This just keeps getting curiouser and curiousier..."
Curious? Growing and shrinking like that? We should all look at our adversity as something to be curious about – but instead, we just usually end up getting mad. Next time I'm faced with something weird and disruptive to my life, I'm going to try to take Alice's attitude: just think of it as something curious.
And Maddison? Great job! I'm super proud of you! You're my favorite crab!
The play wasn't word for word "Alice", but was a little more of an avant-garde interpretation of the famous story. Just like in the Lewis Carrol version, Alice drinks a potion that makes her gigantic (Big Alice) and then a different potion that shrinks her to two feet tall (Small Alice).
Not sure about you, but if I swallowed something that made me grow in over seven foot intervals, I might be pretty hacked off! Yet, Alice just seemed puzzled. I believe her actual words were, "This just keeps getting curiouser and curiousier..."
Curious? Growing and shrinking like that? We should all look at our adversity as something to be curious about – but instead, we just usually end up getting mad. Next time I'm faced with something weird and disruptive to my life, I'm going to try to take Alice's attitude: just think of it as something curious.
And Maddison? Great job! I'm super proud of you! You're my favorite crab!
Erin Weed, Mike Domitrz and Marcus at Bacchus General Assembly!
As you might expect, I meet a whole, WHOLE lot of speakers in this biz. Two of the finest speakers (and people) I know are these two folks pictured with me; Erin Weed with Girls Fight Back: http://www.girlsfightback.com/
and Mike Domitrz with "Can I Kiss You?" http://www.canikissyou.com/
If you've had yours truly to your campus and trust my opinion, you simply cannot go wrong with either of these speakers, too! I'm honored to be in the same business with them and to call them friends!
If you've had yours truly to your campus and trust my opinion, you simply cannot go wrong with either of these speakers, too! I'm honored to be in the same business with them and to call them friends!
Concordia University-Chicago
On Tuesday, Nov. 18, I was honored to present a program at Concordia University in Chicago! Student athletes and others gathered in the K.C.C. for a program to inspire students to make intelligent choices... and from all the Facebook sign ups and messages I've received, we got 'er done! 
Special thanks to Kathy Gebhardt and Pete Gnan for hosting me at Concordia! It's been several years since I've worked in Chicago and it was awesome to be there with such a great group of Concordia folks!
Bacchus in Columbus!
Sorry for the lack of postings the last week or so. I've been on the road a lot and now, here's why!
Thursday, Fri. and Sat. of last week, I was exhibiting and presenting at the Bacchus Network General Assembly held in Columbus, OH. This is the third year I've attended G.A. and I'm always so excited to get to meet new friends and see past acquaintances!
This year, I was also excited to present with the PACE team from DeSales University on "Booze Busters." To the best of our knowledge, this is the first time a university has partnered with a professional speaker to present a breakout session at G.A. I want to thank the PACE team for welcoming me in with open arms and congratulations on a job well done! Special thanks to Dr. Gregg Amore and Wendy Krisak for helping facilitate everything... and for one of the funnest times I've ever had at a conference dinner!
Side note: Friday night at G.A., there was a fire in a neighboring building. A big, stinky electrical fire. This fire caused the power grid to be switched off and hence, our hotel to be without power for nearly 12 hours. And yet? Hanging out on the street corner with the DeSales PACE team was just super fun! No one I'd rather be homeless with! And thanks to the Columbus Hyatt for handling the disaster in such a professional manner-truly one of the finer examples of customer service I've ever experienced!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
A Pet's Ten Commandments
Often when I’m walking with someone who doesn’t know Carson (or me) very well, this person will try to do Carson’s job for him. They’ll tell me to step to the right or the left, that there’s a big obstacle coming up to go around, stuff like that.
This gives me the opportunity to explain how a dog’s perception works; that Carson’s doggie vision and ideas don’t tell him to start going around an obstacle until he’s right up on it. For example, if there’s a garbage can blocking the sidewalk, Carson will walk right up to the bin, make a sharp 90 degree turn to the right, another sharp 90 to the left, another to the left and then, once we’re around the obstacle, another back to the right. Think military marching formation.
Humans, on the other hand, will make a gentle arc around the obstacle with the full knowledge the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Dogs? Not so much.
As I learned at the Seeing Eye-the user must always trust the dog. “Follow your dog” became the montra. The dog has been extensively trained to do his/her job and we, mere humans, need to step in line with how the dog has been trained. That trust and bond is why this article struck me so deeply…
I was sent this article via E mail and, while it’s a tear jerker, I hope it gives some good insight from a dog’s perspective. If we humans could step into the mind of a dog, we’d be a lot better off. This article helps us do just that…
A PET'S TEN COMMANDMENTS.........
1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is
likely to be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.
4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment.
You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only
you.
5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand
your voice when speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.
7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt
you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if
something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food,
I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or
weak.
9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.
10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you
can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier
for me if you are there, because I love you so.
This gives me the opportunity to explain how a dog’s perception works; that Carson’s doggie vision and ideas don’t tell him to start going around an obstacle until he’s right up on it. For example, if there’s a garbage can blocking the sidewalk, Carson will walk right up to the bin, make a sharp 90 degree turn to the right, another sharp 90 to the left, another to the left and then, once we’re around the obstacle, another back to the right. Think military marching formation.
Humans, on the other hand, will make a gentle arc around the obstacle with the full knowledge the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Dogs? Not so much.
As I learned at the Seeing Eye-the user must always trust the dog. “Follow your dog” became the montra. The dog has been extensively trained to do his/her job and we, mere humans, need to step in line with how the dog has been trained. That trust and bond is why this article struck me so deeply…
I was sent this article via E mail and, while it’s a tear jerker, I hope it gives some good insight from a dog’s perspective. If we humans could step into the mind of a dog, we’d be a lot better off. This article helps us do just that…
A PET'S TEN COMMANDMENTS.........
1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is
likely to be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.
4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment.
You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only
you.
5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand
your voice when speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.
7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt
you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if
something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food,
I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or
weak.
9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.
10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you
can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier
for me if you are there, because I love you so.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Veterans Day...Did You Remember?
While running errands today, we stopped by our bank. We sat waiting for a few minutes, trying to figure out why it was closed. A holiday? Don’t think so. Did the bank get robbed? Highly unlikely.
Then, after thinking a bit, we realized it IS a holiday: Veterans Day. I’m simply ashamed this didn’t immediately spring to mind.
Our veterans are the whole reason I can write whatever I want on this blog (within reason, of course). Their sacrifices are what allow us to have the freedoms we have today. Vets, teachers, nurses and cops are all my heros…and this is why I’m just so ashamed I didn’t immediately link up Tues., Nov. 11, 2008 with Veterans Day.
I wish our country would place the importance of Veterans Day up there with Christmas, Thanksgiving and (believe it or not) Halloween. Wouldn’t it be great if our vets were all honored on their day, instead of it being an afterthought?
Today has now been emotionally linked in my brain. It’s going to be my goal to never again let Veterans Day pass without having thought of it the week before and (hopefully) having done something to honor our men and women who’ve served in the U.S. Armed Forces.
If you’re a vet, please know you have my gratitude and appreciation for the sacrifices you’ve made…and you have my apologies for forgetting your day and my humble promise I’ll try not to let it happen again.
Then, after thinking a bit, we realized it IS a holiday: Veterans Day. I’m simply ashamed this didn’t immediately spring to mind.
Our veterans are the whole reason I can write whatever I want on this blog (within reason, of course). Their sacrifices are what allow us to have the freedoms we have today. Vets, teachers, nurses and cops are all my heros…and this is why I’m just so ashamed I didn’t immediately link up Tues., Nov. 11, 2008 with Veterans Day.
I wish our country would place the importance of Veterans Day up there with Christmas, Thanksgiving and (believe it or not) Halloween. Wouldn’t it be great if our vets were all honored on their day, instead of it being an afterthought?
Today has now been emotionally linked in my brain. It’s going to be my goal to never again let Veterans Day pass without having thought of it the week before and (hopefully) having done something to honor our men and women who’ve served in the U.S. Armed Forces.
If you’re a vet, please know you have my gratitude and appreciation for the sacrifices you’ve made…and you have my apologies for forgetting your day and my humble promise I’ll try not to let it happen again.
DUIfoundation.org
I just learned of a great resource with whom I share a mission: www.DUIfoundation.org
From their site, DUIfoundation.org stresses the human repercussions of impaired driving; that a single mistake can have devastating affects on not only the driver, but his/her passengers and other motorists.
But we all know this stuff, right? Everyone knows impaired driving is wrong and shouldn't be done, right? Sure! We all know this...but there are still approximately 15, 000 individuals killed every year due to intoxicated driving.
www.DUIfoundation.org is yet another resource in the fight to reduce (and hopefully eliminate) this dangerous and senseless crime. From legislation to law enforcement to support groups to resources for those with substance abuse issues, DUIfoundation.org is a web site I'll be visiting frequently. I hope you will, too.
From their site, DUIfoundation.org stresses the human repercussions of impaired driving; that a single mistake can have devastating affects on not only the driver, but his/her passengers and other motorists.
But we all know this stuff, right? Everyone knows impaired driving is wrong and shouldn't be done, right? Sure! We all know this...but there are still approximately 15, 000 individuals killed every year due to intoxicated driving.
www.DUIfoundation.org is yet another resource in the fight to reduce (and hopefully eliminate) this dangerous and senseless crime. From legislation to law enforcement to support groups to resources for those with substance abuse issues, DUIfoundation.org is a web site I'll be visiting frequently. I hope you will, too.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Cal State San Marcos
Thursday, Nov. 6 found me at Cal State-San Marcos to work with the students there! And what a fun group to work with! Special thanks to Julie Mattingly for being such an awesome client AND awesome person, Erika and Jenny for helping coordinate everything for my visit! Thanks also to Kathy, the health educator, at CSU-SM for helping drum up interest and for co-sponsorship for the event. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of students and I’m so glad that, even voluntary attendance got the auditorium filled!
Side note: If you’ve never been to San Marcos, leave your wing tips and cufflinks at home! San Marcos is this cool little beach town-ish place that has such a fun and laid back vibe! Was really cool to soak it up for a while!
And to Julie, Erika and Jenny… thanks for helping me haul my stuff all over campus all day…y’all can be my Sherpas any time!
Side note: If you’ve never been to San Marcos, leave your wing tips and cufflinks at home! San Marcos is this cool little beach town-ish place that has such a fun and laid back vibe! Was really cool to soak it up for a while!
And to Julie, Erika and Jenny… thanks for helping me haul my stuff all over campus all day…y’all can be my Sherpas any time!
Cal State Fullerton
Thanks to Nick Katz at Cal State-Fullerton for inviting me in to work with the new Greeks and athletes on Nov. 5. Still in post-election afterglow, the CSU-Fullerton program was a great time!
Special thanks to Jenny, Emma the photographer (and all around cool gal), Emel, Matt and Sarah for being such awesome hosts… not to mention hooking me up with the CA fav, In and Out.
Thanks to all CSU-Fullerton students who’ve signed up to be friends on Facebook and MySpace, too!
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
You're Never Too Old To Rock-N-Roll...or Shoot Hoops!
Ya know, it's one thing that this fella is a full time college student. I hope when I'm in my 70s, I'm still this excited about life! But to put on a pair of Nikes and hit the court when most peers are drawing Social Security? That's just too cool!
****
Grandpa's Got Game -- Ken Mink, 73, Scores in Collegiate Contest
His joints may be a little creaky -- and he may not have played competitive ball for 50 years -- but 73 year old college basketball player Ken Mins is on the scoreboard and possibly in the recordbooks.
The retiree, who is a full-time college student at Roane State Community College, came into a game last night against King College's junior varsity with about 16 minutes left in the second half. He attempted one shot in about three minutes. When Mink entered the game seven minutes later, he was fouled and made two free throws.
"I found myself on the free-throw line 52 years after my last college game," Mink said. "I said, 'Just relax and shoot it like you know how to all day long.' I just floated the shots in there. I'm in the books now. I can relax a little bit."
Mink played ball at Lees College in Jackson, KY, half a century ago but was expelled after someone soaped the basketball coach's office. He still insists he didn't do it.
****
Grandpa's Got Game -- Ken Mink, 73, Scores in Collegiate Contest
His joints may be a little creaky -- and he may not have played competitive ball for 50 years -- but 73 year old college basketball player Ken Mins is on the scoreboard and possibly in the recordbooks.
The retiree, who is a full-time college student at Roane State Community College, came into a game last night against King College's junior varsity with about 16 minutes left in the second half. He attempted one shot in about three minutes. When Mink entered the game seven minutes later, he was fouled and made two free throws.
"I found myself on the free-throw line 52 years after my last college game," Mink said. "I said, 'Just relax and shoot it like you know how to all day long.' I just floated the shots in there. I'm in the books now. I can relax a little bit."
Mink played ball at Lees College in Jackson, KY, half a century ago but was expelled after someone soaped the basketball coach's office. He still insists he didn't do it.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Vote!
Tomorrow marks the end of this very heated (and very long) Presidential race. It’s been a one-of-a-kind race, hasn’t it?
So, tomorrow: vote. If you’re a registered voter (not a dead person, a minor or a dog), then get out and exercise your Constitutional right!
The country we now live in is so polarized, so distrustful of anyone who doesn’t wear their colors, so fixiated on personal preference instead of a candidate’s true qualities. And ya know? That doesn’t change the fact America is a democracy.
A government of the people, by the people, for the people…
I hope tomorrow has the largest voter turnout ever. I hope more Americans get out and exercise that Constitutional right than in any previous election. I hope our voter turnout rates start to mirror those of the other Democratic countries of this world (for example, European democracies think anything less than 75% is pitiful…and it is! But in America, we’re usually in the 60% range. So, who is really pathetic?)
The early voting place down the street from my home has had early voting the last week. Voters sometimes have waited in line for over three hours to be sure their ballot is cast. No matter your political affiliation, you’ve gotta smile at the excitement, fervor and commitment this race has generated!
Tomorrow? Vote. And on Wednesday? Let’s all realize that, no matter the outcome of the race, we’re all Americans. And let’s start to act like it again.
So, tomorrow: vote. If you’re a registered voter (not a dead person, a minor or a dog), then get out and exercise your Constitutional right!
The country we now live in is so polarized, so distrustful of anyone who doesn’t wear their colors, so fixiated on personal preference instead of a candidate’s true qualities. And ya know? That doesn’t change the fact America is a democracy.
A government of the people, by the people, for the people…
I hope tomorrow has the largest voter turnout ever. I hope more Americans get out and exercise that Constitutional right than in any previous election. I hope our voter turnout rates start to mirror those of the other Democratic countries of this world (for example, European democracies think anything less than 75% is pitiful…and it is! But in America, we’re usually in the 60% range. So, who is really pathetic?)
The early voting place down the street from my home has had early voting the last week. Voters sometimes have waited in line for over three hours to be sure their ballot is cast. No matter your political affiliation, you’ve gotta smile at the excitement, fervor and commitment this race has generated!
Tomorrow? Vote. And on Wednesday? Let’s all realize that, no matter the outcome of the race, we’re all Americans. And let’s start to act like it again.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
And These Are Real!
Okay, maybe not... but it sure beats paying Dr. 90210 for a figure I only needed for a night!For all those who requested – your wish is my command! Nothing beats a German soprano opera singer with chest hair AND giant cans!
And with Marvelyne dressed as the cutest Hell's Angel biker girl ever, we made quite a pair! Had a blast at the Bahia Shrine Sheiks Halloween party, too!
And if Marvelyne's picture is out of focus or off center? Cut me some slack – I'm a blind guy with a camera!
Friday, October 31, 2008
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
It’s not St. Pat’s Day.
It’s not New Year’s Eve.
It’s not Labor Day weekend.
It’s Halloween! And what’s that have to do with the afore listed holidays?
Those holidays are just immediately associated with alcohol consumption. Really, what’s St. Patty’s Day without Guinness and Jamison? And New Year’s just wouldn’t be the same without a midnight champagne toast.
Yet? The single biggest bar night of the year is today: Halloween! After all, we adults get to dress up like we did as children, we get to go have tons of fun with other adults acting like children and that, as you might expect, means many, many Halloweeners (huh huh…I said wiener) means lots of alcohol consumption.
Tonight, with little trick or treaters out, it’s time to be extra diligent while driving. Later, when the bars begin to fill up, THAT is when we all need to be even more aware of others.
Happy Halloween, everyone… and please be safe tonight!
It’s not New Year’s Eve.
It’s not Labor Day weekend.
It’s Halloween! And what’s that have to do with the afore listed holidays?
Those holidays are just immediately associated with alcohol consumption. Really, what’s St. Patty’s Day without Guinness and Jamison? And New Year’s just wouldn’t be the same without a midnight champagne toast.
Yet? The single biggest bar night of the year is today: Halloween! After all, we adults get to dress up like we did as children, we get to go have tons of fun with other adults acting like children and that, as you might expect, means many, many Halloweeners (huh huh…I said wiener) means lots of alcohol consumption.
Tonight, with little trick or treaters out, it’s time to be extra diligent while driving. Later, when the bars begin to fill up, THAT is when we all need to be even more aware of others.
Happy Halloween, everyone… and please be safe tonight!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
University of Central Florida
I will travel anywhere, at any time to do keynotes for anyone who requests them.
It is nice, however, to also be able to sleep in my own bed! Although I've given four collegiate programs at the University of Central Florida, both nights I was able to come home, put my feet up on my own coffee table while relaxing on my own couch. Reason being, UCF is about 10 minutes from my front door!
What makes this an even more unique group of programs is my UCF client, Marcus Sedberry. In addition to being the first other Marcus I've ever had as a client, Marcus is also an incredibly nice, determined individual who is committed to the overall health and development of student athletes. His commitment simply shines through his work and I was so pleased to work with him!
Additionally, Marcus' assistant, Ashley, is a grad student who made my time around UCF even more fun and memorable!
Besides the student athlete programs (which were sponsored through the CHAMPS/Life Skills portion of the NCAA), I also had an opportunity to meet with Greek Life from UCF. The Tuesday afternoon luncheon with fraternity and sorority members, not to mention a great group of nursing students, helped kick off the tour de la UCF! Thanks to Lindi Smedberg and Ashley (not the same Ashley as from athletics) for helping make this so meaningful for all those who participated!
I'd also like to thank Brennen, Sam and Jenny from the Student Athlete Council for an awesome dinner last night! It was so cool to hear that, in addition to keeping stellar GPAs and a tough practice schedule, just how much community service student athletes do every semester! Truly admirable, you guys!
Again, thank you to everyone who made this time at my new adopted home university so incredible!
It is nice, however, to also be able to sleep in my own bed! Although I've given four collegiate programs at the University of Central Florida, both nights I was able to come home, put my feet up on my own coffee table while relaxing on my own couch. Reason being, UCF is about 10 minutes from my front door!
What makes this an even more unique group of programs is my UCF client, Marcus Sedberry. In addition to being the first other Marcus I've ever had as a client, Marcus is also an incredibly nice, determined individual who is committed to the overall health and development of student athletes. His commitment simply shines through his work and I was so pleased to work with him!
Additionally, Marcus' assistant, Ashley, is a grad student who made my time around UCF even more fun and memorable!
Besides the student athlete programs (which were sponsored through the CHAMPS/Life Skills portion of the NCAA), I also had an opportunity to meet with Greek Life from UCF. The Tuesday afternoon luncheon with fraternity and sorority members, not to mention a great group of nursing students, helped kick off the tour de la UCF! Thanks to Lindi Smedberg and Ashley (not the same Ashley as from athletics) for helping make this so meaningful for all those who participated!
I'd also like to thank Brennen, Sam and Jenny from the Student Athlete Council for an awesome dinner last night! It was so cool to hear that, in addition to keeping stellar GPAs and a tough practice schedule, just how much community service student athletes do every semester! Truly admirable, you guys!
Again, thank you to everyone who made this time at my new adopted home university so incredible!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Principals, Police Chiefs and Props
Even though I’m a Floridian now, I still keep up with goings-on in St. Louis. I just figure if it makes the news in STL, then it probably effects the lives of some people I know and love.
So, last night I was listening to an interview with the new police chief, Daniel Isom. Being interviewed by Rodney Boyd on 97.1 FM, the podcast tracked Chief Isom’s entire career since he entered law enforcement 20 years ago.
Chief Isom comes from a family of educators; his mother a public school teacher and his father a school administrator. It seemed in his blood, so one of his assignments over the last two decades was being the top cop at the St. Louis Police Academy.
In the interview, Boyd asked Chief Isom if he ever sees any of the cadets he trained at the Academy. You could tell this question pleased the chief. With a big smile, he said, “Oh yes! And now many of them are moving up through the ranks themselves. When they see me, they’ll often share a story or something they remember about me from their training days.”
Being the kid of a teacher myself, I’ve seen first hand what an “interesting” job education is. The teacher sees the day to day changes in the students, but rarely does he/she get real kudos for the job they’ve done. That’s not real surprising because most of us don’t understand the powerful impact educators have had on our lives until many, many years later.
But the thing I’ve found about teachers is that they’re not the kind of people who need constant pats on the back. They typically do it for the satisfaction they’re helping kids and changing lives. Even if they never get the props for the lives they’ve touched, it seems enough just to know they’re doing something beneficial.
Back in the spring, I was in Columbia, Missouri to speak for a convention. Earlier that day, I took my old principal, Larry Luetjen, out to lunch. It was the first time I’d seen him in nearly 10 years, and 15 years since he could still hand me a detention slip!
If you’ve heard me speak, you’ve heard me tell some stories about Mr. Luetjen. He was, after all, the man who first said, “Change the things you can…and don’t worry about the rest”; a message I’ve parroted to audiences for the last several years. Taking my principal to lunch and telling him how much those words shaped my life was one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I know Larry was touched by me passing along my gratitude, too…but that’s not why he did that job for so many years. He (and most every other educator I’ve ever met) simply do it because they know they’re helping to create a better world by educating students and molding lives.
And that, faithful reader, is something we all should admire.
So, last night I was listening to an interview with the new police chief, Daniel Isom. Being interviewed by Rodney Boyd on 97.1 FM, the podcast tracked Chief Isom’s entire career since he entered law enforcement 20 years ago.
Chief Isom comes from a family of educators; his mother a public school teacher and his father a school administrator. It seemed in his blood, so one of his assignments over the last two decades was being the top cop at the St. Louis Police Academy.
In the interview, Boyd asked Chief Isom if he ever sees any of the cadets he trained at the Academy. You could tell this question pleased the chief. With a big smile, he said, “Oh yes! And now many of them are moving up through the ranks themselves. When they see me, they’ll often share a story or something they remember about me from their training days.”
Being the kid of a teacher myself, I’ve seen first hand what an “interesting” job education is. The teacher sees the day to day changes in the students, but rarely does he/she get real kudos for the job they’ve done. That’s not real surprising because most of us don’t understand the powerful impact educators have had on our lives until many, many years later.
But the thing I’ve found about teachers is that they’re not the kind of people who need constant pats on the back. They typically do it for the satisfaction they’re helping kids and changing lives. Even if they never get the props for the lives they’ve touched, it seems enough just to know they’re doing something beneficial.
Back in the spring, I was in Columbia, Missouri to speak for a convention. Earlier that day, I took my old principal, Larry Luetjen, out to lunch. It was the first time I’d seen him in nearly 10 years, and 15 years since he could still hand me a detention slip!
If you’ve heard me speak, you’ve heard me tell some stories about Mr. Luetjen. He was, after all, the man who first said, “Change the things you can…and don’t worry about the rest”; a message I’ve parroted to audiences for the last several years. Taking my principal to lunch and telling him how much those words shaped my life was one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I know Larry was touched by me passing along my gratitude, too…but that’s not why he did that job for so many years. He (and most every other educator I’ve ever met) simply do it because they know they’re helping to create a better world by educating students and molding lives.
And that, faithful reader, is something we all should admire.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Is This Not The Cutest Thing Ever?
While at Eastern Washington University this past week, Carson fell in love with some students. Namely, Maria and Kaley. Before I spoke, Carson was in hog heaven with girls' hands all over him (what can I say? He's a guy!) I didn't have the heart to make him take the stage with me, so he just chilled on the front row. Somewhere during my program, Maria and Kaley snapped this picture.Every once in a while, I get someone who thinks it's not fair that Carson has to drag me around the country, go into all kinds of unfamiliar places, experience different and major changes in weather patterns, that sort of thing. These people have apparently never owned a dog! A dog wants nothing more than to be with and please his/her master/mistress. And Carson gets that all the time! But he's doubly lucky because not only does he get lovin' from his master (and your humble blog author), he also gets to make new friends wherever he goes! And when you count it up? This west coast tour? Carson probably got petted by well over 500 people in the last couple weeks – it's not every dog who can claim to be so pettable!
Subtle Changes
Living in Florida the last 18 months, I’ve learned to appreciate the subtle changes in weather. What’s that you say? I’m in Florida and it’s always warm and beautiful and tropical? First, that’s what I used to say before I moved here. Second…remember Tropical Storm Fay a few months ago? Yeah, that wasn’t pretty.
Here, when it starts getting where the highs are in the low 80s, fall and winter are here! And this morning was the first time in the last, oh, seven months I’ve been even remotely cool out of doors. This morning, though, when I stepped out, I was wishing I’d grabbed my Gators hoodie from the closet!
Being a native born Midwesterner, I scoffed at the Floridian idea of “cold.” Like, if the low is in the mid 70s, I’d be hearing stuff like, “Wow, it’s really cold tonight!” Yeah, not so much.
Yet, the last 18 months have taught me that Floridians have something I don’t: an appreciation for these subtle changes. And I want to be more like them. I want to notice every tiniest little improvement from the sweat-soaked summers through the can’t-beat-it-with-a-stick weather from late Oct. through early March. This morning was the first big change I’ve noticed, but having that attitude of appreciation will make me a little more observant of improvements for the next several months.
What does this have to do with you, faithful reader, who may very well bbe reading this from the tundra up north? Is it just for me to rub it in? *smile*…no, not at all. I’ve just been making a conscious effort to truly appreciate the good things in life lately. I think we all should. And when I stepped into a crisp Florida morning today, it just showed me one more thing to appreciate…and made me really excited about the cooler times to come!
Here, when it starts getting where the highs are in the low 80s, fall and winter are here! And this morning was the first time in the last, oh, seven months I’ve been even remotely cool out of doors. This morning, though, when I stepped out, I was wishing I’d grabbed my Gators hoodie from the closet!
Being a native born Midwesterner, I scoffed at the Floridian idea of “cold.” Like, if the low is in the mid 70s, I’d be hearing stuff like, “Wow, it’s really cold tonight!” Yeah, not so much.
Yet, the last 18 months have taught me that Floridians have something I don’t: an appreciation for these subtle changes. And I want to be more like them. I want to notice every tiniest little improvement from the sweat-soaked summers through the can’t-beat-it-with-a-stick weather from late Oct. through early March. This morning was the first big change I’ve noticed, but having that attitude of appreciation will make me a little more observant of improvements for the next several months.
What does this have to do with you, faithful reader, who may very well bbe reading this from the tundra up north? Is it just for me to rub it in? *smile*…no, not at all. I’ve just been making a conscious effort to truly appreciate the good things in life lately. I think we all should. And when I stepped into a crisp Florida morning today, it just showed me one more thing to appreciate…and made me really excited about the cooler times to come!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Why Brad Meltzer Is Such A Cool Guy
Over the summer, I read Brad Meltzer’s “Book of Fate.” If you’re not familiar with Brad’s work, think Tom Clancy mixed with Vince Flynn and add a dash of Stephen King(for the great character development). “Fate” was a fantastic story, no doubt, but what really made it endearing, for me, was Meltzer’s spice of using Freemasonry in the plot. As a Mason, hearing about all the weirdo conspiracy crap gets really old. Seems like in the last half dozen years, every other book blends in some secret society sorta stuff, trying to be the next multi-bazillion book best seller in the footprints of Dan Brown. Yet, Brad’s work, while it has some of the same elements, isn’t rooted in sensationalism and rhetoric. “The DaVinci Code” made it sound as though our fraternity is somehow responsible for the overthrow of the American government AND we all know some deep, dark secret about Jesus. Negative on both counts. Religion and politics are banned from any discussion within Masonry.
Since there is some fun and intrigue in talking about secret societies, Brad added a touch of Masonry to “Book of Fate” and it made the story all the more interesting. He did not, however, take cheap shots at Masonry nor accuse we Masons of the New World Order or protecting the recipe for Big Mac’s secret sauce.
So, I like Brad. He just seems like a real good guy. So, I wrote him and told him thanks for this portrayal in “Fate.” He sent back a nice note and now I’m on his mailing list. This is where Brad gets even more kudos…
Here’s a quick example of the sorta notes Brad sends out to his readers(edited for space, this came out in September):
No question, this has been a crazy year for Cori and our family -- both good and bad -- but as the new book comes out tomorrow, I just don't think I can
send out some mass email while ignoring everything else that's happened.
So let me start by saying thank you for getting us here -- not just for voting on the title, but for the true support -- for the notes and well wishes
and love that's been sent our way when we really needed it. We've officially been doing this book thing for over a decade now, and as I was fighting
(again) with my Dad last night, he was insisting that I can't possibly know every single person who buys the books.
As always, he's wrong.
I do.
Because I know you, which ties me to all the people you've talked us up to. All the people you've sent these emails to, or stopped in bookstores, or said,
"You gotta read this book."
And that's why I get to do this today.
As usual, Cori will send the official email out tomorrow. And of course, would love if you could circulate it to all known breathing-type people. But
for tonight, please do know how much we appreciate all you've done already.
Love and hugs and mushiness,
B
Friends, this gracious attitude from such an accomplished author, mixed with his humility, really makes Brad the kinda person I want to sit down with and have a Big Mac. To show appreciation for the people who got him where he is, to display this wonderment and, “I can’t believe I get to live this life!” kind of excitement-this all adds up to someone who’s emotional intelligence is right where it should be. And it makes me, as a reader, feel good to know the author thinks just as much of me as I do of him.
Brad, keep writing and I’ll keep reading! And thanks again!
Since there is some fun and intrigue in talking about secret societies, Brad added a touch of Masonry to “Book of Fate” and it made the story all the more interesting. He did not, however, take cheap shots at Masonry nor accuse we Masons of the New World Order or protecting the recipe for Big Mac’s secret sauce.
So, I like Brad. He just seems like a real good guy. So, I wrote him and told him thanks for this portrayal in “Fate.” He sent back a nice note and now I’m on his mailing list. This is where Brad gets even more kudos…
Here’s a quick example of the sorta notes Brad sends out to his readers(edited for space, this came out in September):
No question, this has been a crazy year for Cori and our family -- both good and bad -- but as the new book comes out tomorrow, I just don't think I can
send out some mass email while ignoring everything else that's happened.
So let me start by saying thank you for getting us here -- not just for voting on the title, but for the true support -- for the notes and well wishes
and love that's been sent our way when we really needed it. We've officially been doing this book thing for over a decade now, and as I was fighting
(again) with my Dad last night, he was insisting that I can't possibly know every single person who buys the books.
As always, he's wrong.
I do.
Because I know you, which ties me to all the people you've talked us up to. All the people you've sent these emails to, or stopped in bookstores, or said,
"You gotta read this book."
And that's why I get to do this today.
As usual, Cori will send the official email out tomorrow. And of course, would love if you could circulate it to all known breathing-type people. But
for tonight, please do know how much we appreciate all you've done already.
Love and hugs and mushiness,
B
Friends, this gracious attitude from such an accomplished author, mixed with his humility, really makes Brad the kinda person I want to sit down with and have a Big Mac. To show appreciation for the people who got him where he is, to display this wonderment and, “I can’t believe I get to live this life!” kind of excitement-this all adds up to someone who’s emotional intelligence is right where it should be. And it makes me, as a reader, feel good to know the author thinks just as much of me as I do of him.
Brad, keep writing and I’ll keep reading! And thanks again!
Damn Right, Amazon Rocks!
Amazon.com is just an amazing company to work with and buy from.
Amazon.com is one of the on-line booksellers that carries my books-and they’re amazingly easy to work with (bonus when working with any company!). When someone orders one of my books from Amazon.com, I get an E mail from Amazon, fill out a simple form and send the book in with the form. Easy as pie! Not so much with some other booksellers on line.
Since Amazon.com is so easy to work with selling my books, I try to do business with them when I’m ready to buy schtuff, too. Such is the case with the newest CD from Hank Williams III.
I ordered his newest CD earlier this week. Then, due to their lowest price guarantee on pre-orders, last night, the following E mail popped up in my in box:
Greetings from Amazon.com. You saved $1.00 with Amazon.com's Pre-order Price Guarantee! The price of the item(s) decreased after you ordered them, and we gave you the lowest price.
The following title(s) decreased in price:
Damn Right, Rebel Proud [Explicit Lyrics]
Price on order date: $12.99
Price charged at shipping: $11.99
Lowest price before release date: $11.99
Quantity: 1
Total Savings: $1.00
$1.00 is your total savings under our Pre-order Price Guarantee.
Thanks for shopping at Amazon.com, and we hope to see you again soon.
Folks, THIS is why Amazon.com is such a great company! I liked them before, but this “bending over backwards” for the customer is exactly what’ll keep me coming back for more!
A dollar's worth of savings, but now I'm a committed customer for life! A lot of companies can learn from this example.
Amazon.com is one of the on-line booksellers that carries my books-and they’re amazingly easy to work with (bonus when working with any company!). When someone orders one of my books from Amazon.com, I get an E mail from Amazon, fill out a simple form and send the book in with the form. Easy as pie! Not so much with some other booksellers on line.
Since Amazon.com is so easy to work with selling my books, I try to do business with them when I’m ready to buy schtuff, too. Such is the case with the newest CD from Hank Williams III.
I ordered his newest CD earlier this week. Then, due to their lowest price guarantee on pre-orders, last night, the following E mail popped up in my in box:
Greetings from Amazon.com. You saved $1.00 with Amazon.com's Pre-order Price Guarantee! The price of the item(s) decreased after you ordered them, and we gave you the lowest price.
The following title(s) decreased in price:
Damn Right, Rebel Proud [Explicit Lyrics]
Price on order date: $12.99
Price charged at shipping: $11.99
Lowest price before release date: $11.99
Quantity: 1
Total Savings: $1.00
$1.00 is your total savings under our Pre-order Price Guarantee.
Thanks for shopping at Amazon.com, and we hope to see you again soon.
Folks, THIS is why Amazon.com is such a great company! I liked them before, but this “bending over backwards” for the customer is exactly what’ll keep me coming back for more!
A dollar's worth of savings, but now I'm a committed customer for life! A lot of companies can learn from this example.
Friday, October 24, 2008
The Worst Bumper Sticker Ever
While we were headed over to my father in law’s house for dinner last night, we witnessed something rather odd. And disturbing.
While stopped at a red light, Marvelyne began reading the rhetoric of the vehicle in front of us. One big bumper sticker said: Stop Believing, Start Thinking.”
I can only assume this is some sorta dig at Christianity. And that’s everyone’s first amendment right-to say stupid stuff.
On the opposite side of the bumper was a sticker that read: “Embarrassed Parent Of A Failing Student.”
Then, around the license plate was a frame that announced the driver was clergy from some sort of church.
Does this puzzle you, too?
It’s always kind of interesting how people have to advertise their religious thoughts and beliefs. Personally, I think my relationship between the divine and me is (gasp!) between the divine and yours truly. Not you. Not the person sitting in the car behind me. Just me and the creator. Strange how people feel the need to show off the denomination and/or the religion they align with.
With all the confusing messages, the worst had to be the “Embarrased Parent.”
Put yourself back into the mind of a kid. Everyone, even to their elderly death bed, is seeking parental acceptance and love. How many adults seek therapy due to the fact they’re still looking to be loved and accepted? It makes sense when the most primary relationship one knows is unfulfilling, doesn’t it?
Now, think about the person who’d put a “Think”-ish bumper sticker on his/her car. Chances are, this kind of person fancies himself/herself an intellectual. After all, they’ve ascended above mere mortal “belief” into “thought.”
But why didn’t they think a little further? If they had, maybe they’d understand how damaging the other bumper sticker is.
Kids want acceptance. And love. And they deserve it. If they don’t have it, they’ll seek it out in other ways; promiscuity, drugs, alcohol, disruptive behavior, etc. But when a parent doesn’t provide that love and acceptance AND the parent advertises how embarrassed they are while, at the same time pointing out the child’s shortcomings…does anyone expect this kid to grow up and not be scarred?? Like, truly, emotionally injured?
Kids need to be nurtured. And loved. And helped-no matter what. To not give this kind of support is one thing. To advertise a kid’s grades is another. And still another to be embarrassed. And still a further grievance to show it off to everyone who sees the car…just so sad any parent could do this. But even worse that he/she already thinks they’re so much more enlightened than the rest of the world.
While stopped at a red light, Marvelyne began reading the rhetoric of the vehicle in front of us. One big bumper sticker said: Stop Believing, Start Thinking.”
I can only assume this is some sorta dig at Christianity. And that’s everyone’s first amendment right-to say stupid stuff.
On the opposite side of the bumper was a sticker that read: “Embarrassed Parent Of A Failing Student.”
Then, around the license plate was a frame that announced the driver was clergy from some sort of church.
Does this puzzle you, too?
It’s always kind of interesting how people have to advertise their religious thoughts and beliefs. Personally, I think my relationship between the divine and me is (gasp!) between the divine and yours truly. Not you. Not the person sitting in the car behind me. Just me and the creator. Strange how people feel the need to show off the denomination and/or the religion they align with.
With all the confusing messages, the worst had to be the “Embarrased Parent.”
Put yourself back into the mind of a kid. Everyone, even to their elderly death bed, is seeking parental acceptance and love. How many adults seek therapy due to the fact they’re still looking to be loved and accepted? It makes sense when the most primary relationship one knows is unfulfilling, doesn’t it?
Now, think about the person who’d put a “Think”-ish bumper sticker on his/her car. Chances are, this kind of person fancies himself/herself an intellectual. After all, they’ve ascended above mere mortal “belief” into “thought.”
But why didn’t they think a little further? If they had, maybe they’d understand how damaging the other bumper sticker is.
Kids want acceptance. And love. And they deserve it. If they don’t have it, they’ll seek it out in other ways; promiscuity, drugs, alcohol, disruptive behavior, etc. But when a parent doesn’t provide that love and acceptance AND the parent advertises how embarrassed they are while, at the same time pointing out the child’s shortcomings…does anyone expect this kid to grow up and not be scarred?? Like, truly, emotionally injured?
Kids need to be nurtured. And loved. And helped-no matter what. To not give this kind of support is one thing. To advertise a kid’s grades is another. And still another to be embarrassed. And still a further grievance to show it off to everyone who sees the car…just so sad any parent could do this. But even worse that he/she already thinks they’re so much more enlightened than the rest of the world.
How Do You Remember It?
One of my favorite mystery writers is Jeffrey Deaver, best known for his Lincoln Rhyme series. Rhyme is a quadriplegic forensic investigator with NYPD. Since Rhyme is a quad and cannot physically do the work himself, he verbally coaches mere mortal investigators through the evidence collection processes. Then, as the reader, you get to listen in, get all the forensic education, but it never feels so third person.
One thing I enjoy about the Lincoln Rhyme character is his insatiable quench for forensic evidence. He cares not for the eyewitness reports because he knows eyewitnesses are invariably unreliable. Memories fade, are altered and don’t hold up in court like cold, hard evidence. Rhyme disregards the witness accounts like an Oscar winner would brush off a middle school musical. Completely irrelevant to the true professionalism on which he relies.
Rhyme isn’t an oddball, either. Ask any investigator, police officer, etc. and they’ll tell you the same thing-witnesses aren’t reliable. If 10 people witness an accident, cops are likely to get 10 different stories. Everyone’s perspective is altered by their history, personal experiences, their angle, mindset at the time of the occurrence-just everything. Again, witnesses aren’t reliable because memories aren’t reliable.
Yet, we all probably believe our memories serve us correctly, right? Duh! It’s not like we purposefully re-write history in our own minds! Well, maybe some of us do-but that’s certainly not the norm.
While on this Tour de la West Coast, I stopped into Boise, Idaho for a few days to hang out with my BFF from college, Hilary. If you’ve read “After This…”, you’ll likely remember Hilary as the person who helped babystep me back into real life my freshman year back in college. She helped with my classes, assisted me in getting around campus at the beginning of the semester and, most importantly, was my friend when I thought there was nothing likeable about me.
While we lounged around Hilary’s Boise living room, listening to Kasey Chambers and splitting some merlot, we took a stroll down memory lane. We’re going back over a dozen years to our first meeting in Ms. Robison’s English 120 class, then through the next three years we were in college together.
When we discussed the days that were, all the while, I kept feeling the need to apologize to Hilary. The Marcus I remember from that time was a self centered, inebriated jerk who, out of internal pain, took out his frustrations on the people around him. I was mean, I was cutting, I was insulting, I was just a class A A-hole. When Hilary and I talked about hanging out in my dorm room, she remembers watching 80s movies and eating pizza and chit chatting-just two regular college pals. I don’t remember this. The movies? The Pizza? Yes. Being friendly and sweet and compassionate? Not so much. I more remember sitting on the floor, out of my mmind on cheap Scorsby with some wretched internal monologue going on about how much life sucked. A dozen years ago-SOMETHING happened to solidify a friendship between Hilary and I. We just happen to remember the details differently.
When we were skipping down memory lane (and after my eighth apology in three minutes), Hilary posed a question I’d not really thought about: “Marc, do you really think I’d have hung out with you if you were as big of an asshole as you remember being?”
To which I have to answer…no. No, I don’t.
Hilary had enough self respect to not allow herself to be verbally abused by some inebriated waste. This lends loads of credit to the notion that, like Lincoln Rhyme says, memories are deceiving. And mine are, too.
Giving myself some grace is tough. It’s probably one of the toughest things I wrestle with on a day to day basis. Yet, there is truth in the world. One of the truest things I know is that what we remember may not actually be what went down. Eyewitness reports, autobiographies, courtroom testimonies-they’re all only as good as the memory is. And the human memory has the tendency to have loads of different things help paint the picture. I know this. I do. I know my memory, like everyone’s, isn’t the gospel truth. Hell, the gospel truth isn’t even the gospel truth…but I digress. And that’s why hanging out with Hil over the weekend was so good for me.
My memories of details are unreliable. One thing is certain, though: Hilary is still my friend. And she wouldn’t be if I were truly the guy I remember.
You can draw whatever conclusions you like from this little tale. For me, I’m just glad something I’ve intellectually known as truth was put into a context I can emotionally understand. And hopefully-I’m a better person for it. Thanks, Hil.
One thing I enjoy about the Lincoln Rhyme character is his insatiable quench for forensic evidence. He cares not for the eyewitness reports because he knows eyewitnesses are invariably unreliable. Memories fade, are altered and don’t hold up in court like cold, hard evidence. Rhyme disregards the witness accounts like an Oscar winner would brush off a middle school musical. Completely irrelevant to the true professionalism on which he relies.
Rhyme isn’t an oddball, either. Ask any investigator, police officer, etc. and they’ll tell you the same thing-witnesses aren’t reliable. If 10 people witness an accident, cops are likely to get 10 different stories. Everyone’s perspective is altered by their history, personal experiences, their angle, mindset at the time of the occurrence-just everything. Again, witnesses aren’t reliable because memories aren’t reliable.
Yet, we all probably believe our memories serve us correctly, right? Duh! It’s not like we purposefully re-write history in our own minds! Well, maybe some of us do-but that’s certainly not the norm.
While on this Tour de la West Coast, I stopped into Boise, Idaho for a few days to hang out with my BFF from college, Hilary. If you’ve read “After This…”, you’ll likely remember Hilary as the person who helped babystep me back into real life my freshman year back in college. She helped with my classes, assisted me in getting around campus at the beginning of the semester and, most importantly, was my friend when I thought there was nothing likeable about me.
While we lounged around Hilary’s Boise living room, listening to Kasey Chambers and splitting some merlot, we took a stroll down memory lane. We’re going back over a dozen years to our first meeting in Ms. Robison’s English 120 class, then through the next three years we were in college together.
When we discussed the days that were, all the while, I kept feeling the need to apologize to Hilary. The Marcus I remember from that time was a self centered, inebriated jerk who, out of internal pain, took out his frustrations on the people around him. I was mean, I was cutting, I was insulting, I was just a class A A-hole. When Hilary and I talked about hanging out in my dorm room, she remembers watching 80s movies and eating pizza and chit chatting-just two regular college pals. I don’t remember this. The movies? The Pizza? Yes. Being friendly and sweet and compassionate? Not so much. I more remember sitting on the floor, out of my mmind on cheap Scorsby with some wretched internal monologue going on about how much life sucked. A dozen years ago-SOMETHING happened to solidify a friendship between Hilary and I. We just happen to remember the details differently.
When we were skipping down memory lane (and after my eighth apology in three minutes), Hilary posed a question I’d not really thought about: “Marc, do you really think I’d have hung out with you if you were as big of an asshole as you remember being?”
To which I have to answer…no. No, I don’t.
Hilary had enough self respect to not allow herself to be verbally abused by some inebriated waste. This lends loads of credit to the notion that, like Lincoln Rhyme says, memories are deceiving. And mine are, too.
Giving myself some grace is tough. It’s probably one of the toughest things I wrestle with on a day to day basis. Yet, there is truth in the world. One of the truest things I know is that what we remember may not actually be what went down. Eyewitness reports, autobiographies, courtroom testimonies-they’re all only as good as the memory is. And the human memory has the tendency to have loads of different things help paint the picture. I know this. I do. I know my memory, like everyone’s, isn’t the gospel truth. Hell, the gospel truth isn’t even the gospel truth…but I digress. And that’s why hanging out with Hil over the weekend was so good for me.
My memories of details are unreliable. One thing is certain, though: Hilary is still my friend. And she wouldn’t be if I were truly the guy I remember.
You can draw whatever conclusions you like from this little tale. For me, I’m just glad something I’ve intellectually known as truth was put into a context I can emotionally understand. And hopefully-I’m a better person for it. Thanks, Hil.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Loyola Marymount University
Ah, southern California! L.A. gets a bad rap... but if it's so terrible, why do so many people choose to live there?
Well, yesterday, Oct. 22, I found out one of the reasons: Loyola Marymount University.
I was brought to LMU by Dan Faill and the fraternity/sorority system for alcohol awareness week - and we had a blast! LMU is this gorgeous campus filled with highly motivated, friendly and quality students. Just a couple miles from the beach and Marina del Ray, LMU couldn't ask for a much nicer physical setting! And yet? The people are even more impressive!
Special thanks to Dan Faill for inviting me to campus, but even more for allowing me to hang with the Greek Council: Liz, Maddie, Kelsey and Tony. All four of these students are just plain fun!
Thanks to Kelsey and Tony for helping me get around L.A. and just for such great conversations! Looking forward to a return trip to LMU sometime in the future! Thanks again!
Well, yesterday, Oct. 22, I found out one of the reasons: Loyola Marymount University.
I was brought to LMU by Dan Faill and the fraternity/sorority system for alcohol awareness week - and we had a blast! LMU is this gorgeous campus filled with highly motivated, friendly and quality students. Just a couple miles from the beach and Marina del Ray, LMU couldn't ask for a much nicer physical setting! And yet? The people are even more impressive!
Special thanks to Dan Faill for inviting me to campus, but even more for allowing me to hang with the Greek Council: Liz, Maddie, Kelsey and Tony. All four of these students are just plain fun!
Thanks to Kelsey and Tony for helping me get around L.A. and just for such great conversations! Looking forward to a return trip to LMU sometime in the future! Thanks again!
EWU
All right, so there ain't too much that beats getting to be in the Pacific Northwest during the fall! Living in Florida, it was so, so cool (literally) to step out in the morning, feel the chill come on, then ward it off with some strong coffee! Well, nothing beats that... except for getting to hang with my peeps at Eastern Washington University!
I first spoke at EWU back in 2006 for freshman orientation, so I'd already fallen in love with the greater Spokane region. But throw in some great times with Michelle Pingree, Jane Davis, Laurie, Laurel, Kaley, Marie, Tawney, James Wagner and Mike Miller and, well, it just was such a blast! Thank all of you for giving me such a great time! Whether it was having big gnarly biscuits at the Rusty Moose with Michelle, endlessly quoting "Super Bad" and "Stepbrothers" with Tawney and Marie and Kelly, talking fraternity/sorority philosophy with James Wagner or sharing time with the EWU athletes – this can all be summed up in two words: Good Times!
BTW... special thanks to Michelle P. for the gift for Marvelyne that she hasn't yet received (it's still buried in my suitcase, but she'll have it soon!)
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