I'm a certified craigslist junkie. I admit it. When someone wants to unload 2000 hardback mystery novels for a $20 bill, there's Marcus ready to buy them up. Or non-used espresso makers. Or 12 string guitars. Or whatever catches my ear.
The very best part of craigslist is (strangely enough) called, "Best Of Craigslist" (convenient, eh?)
Usually Best Of consists of hilarious accounts of blind dates, trying to sell some useless junk, humorous prose or whatever aspiring writers think is entertaining for Joe CLer like moi.
Today, though, I found the following. Could a better tribute be paid to anyone? Not the usuall funnies I find on Best Of, but coming up on Father's Day, I thought I'd share...
***************
Things my father taught me--------------------------------------------------------------------
The measurement of my finger from the tip to the first joint is 1 inch...depth for planting peas.
The measurement to the second joint is 2 inches...depth for corn.
Return borrowed things in better shape than when you borrowed them.
There are two types of trouble...one is the trouble you knowingly walk into, the other is trouble that just happens...it's important to know the difference.
Walk softly but carry a big stick.
if you have to use said stick, make sure who you use it on, doesn't get up.
Grits is good.
Foul language is a sign of a limited vocabulary
Orion, the Big and Little Dippers.
Everyone is a friend until proven otherwise.
Licorice ferns, huckleberries, nettles, sword ferns.
Tabasco won't kill you even if you eat it by the spoonfull.
Don't watch the clock when you're at work.
Fish can see you if you look over the side of the boat.
Fish can hear you if you talk to loud.
Respect the elders.
Never go to bed angry.
That which does not kill you will hurt like the dickens, but it will make you stronger.
Family is the most important thing on earth.
How to play the guitar, spoons, mouth harp, and water filled bottles.
The true meaning of "Self Made Man"
If you don't know something, go to the library and learn it.
The phrases "I don't know", "I forgot", or "I tried (and failed)" are excuses.
There is a difference between an excuse and a reason, know the difference.
Take care of your apperance...even if it is just a t-shirt and jeans.
The world can change everything about you, except your point of view...unless you allow it to.
David L. McDonald
born 1936-passed 2008
precious father
beloved husband
A right good fellow.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Ratting Yourself Out
Close friends and family make a joke out of how much I dislike movies. At first glance, most folks probably think this is due to me not being able to see the screen. Negative. It's totally, TOTALLY an attention span thing. I loathe sitting through a two hour movie of average quality then, at the end saying, "Welp, there's two hours of my life I'll never get back!"
So, this may be a little odd (and disjointed) when I share a scene from a movie. And worse? I'm not even 100% sure what movie I'm talking about!
Let's assume I do, though, and let's hope my memory serves correct and I really AM referring to "Rush Hour." (One of 'em, I don't remember which). A fast talking L.A. cop reminiscent of Eddie Murphy in Beverly Hills Cop, is put in charge of an Asian law enforcement expert while the Asian guy is in town. The L.A. cop hates this task, talks all kind of crap to, about and around the visitor. The Asian visitor politely smiles, says nothing, and disregards the angry and frustrated tone of his "host."
A bit later in the flick, the Asian busts out with some perfectly articulated English. When the L.A. cop asks him why he'd waited so long to reveal his fluency, the Asian says, "I've found it's best to just let people talk for a while. That way, you can see just how full of shit they are."
A subtle reminder to just keep quiet? Yup.
Now, flashback to a meeting I attended last week. I was sitting down with two guys who work in the home construction business. Put any two builders together and, within minutes, they'll start talking about what idiots inspectors are. The case was no different here.
One builder explained how an inspector showed up to his property. They shook hands, introduced themselves, then the inspector started examining the project. The builder followed close at his heels, always ready to answer questions, but never speaking without being asked directly.
After the inspection, the two stood silently while the inspector glanced over his notes. One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes. Four minutes. Never did the inspector raise a pencil or a question, just silently read his paperwork. Finally, the builder asked, "Is there anything else you need to inspect?" The inspector glanced up and said, "Is there anything else you need to show me?" The builder looked back and said, "Well, you're the inspector...and you've seen it all. Is there a problem with anything?"
Pure genius here....
The inspector said, "If I stand here quietly for a while, most often, the builder will start to ramble on and spill the beans about what's not up to code."
Since the builder didn't do this, inspection passed!
Silence is truly golden sometimes, isn't it? And for a dude who makes his living speaking, this pains me to say! The key here that both the Asian law enforcement expert AND the builder know is when to talk...and when to keep their traps shut. We could all take a lesson, don't ya think?
So, this may be a little odd (and disjointed) when I share a scene from a movie. And worse? I'm not even 100% sure what movie I'm talking about!
Let's assume I do, though, and let's hope my memory serves correct and I really AM referring to "Rush Hour." (One of 'em, I don't remember which). A fast talking L.A. cop reminiscent of Eddie Murphy in Beverly Hills Cop, is put in charge of an Asian law enforcement expert while the Asian guy is in town. The L.A. cop hates this task, talks all kind of crap to, about and around the visitor. The Asian visitor politely smiles, says nothing, and disregards the angry and frustrated tone of his "host."
A bit later in the flick, the Asian busts out with some perfectly articulated English. When the L.A. cop asks him why he'd waited so long to reveal his fluency, the Asian says, "I've found it's best to just let people talk for a while. That way, you can see just how full of shit they are."
A subtle reminder to just keep quiet? Yup.
Now, flashback to a meeting I attended last week. I was sitting down with two guys who work in the home construction business. Put any two builders together and, within minutes, they'll start talking about what idiots inspectors are. The case was no different here.
One builder explained how an inspector showed up to his property. They shook hands, introduced themselves, then the inspector started examining the project. The builder followed close at his heels, always ready to answer questions, but never speaking without being asked directly.
After the inspection, the two stood silently while the inspector glanced over his notes. One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes. Four minutes. Never did the inspector raise a pencil or a question, just silently read his paperwork. Finally, the builder asked, "Is there anything else you need to inspect?" The inspector glanced up and said, "Is there anything else you need to show me?" The builder looked back and said, "Well, you're the inspector...and you've seen it all. Is there a problem with anything?"
Pure genius here....
The inspector said, "If I stand here quietly for a while, most often, the builder will start to ramble on and spill the beans about what's not up to code."
Since the builder didn't do this, inspection passed!
Silence is truly golden sometimes, isn't it? And for a dude who makes his living speaking, this pains me to say! The key here that both the Asian law enforcement expert AND the builder know is when to talk...and when to keep their traps shut. We could all take a lesson, don't ya think?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Parenting
Over the weekend, a buddy and I were playing around on youtube and other such time-wasting sites. We came across a recorded conversation via phone between Hulk Hogan and his son, Nick Hogan.
Nick Hogan, as you may well know, is serving eight months in a FL county jail after pleading no contest to reckless driving. The charges stemmed from a wreck in the summer of 2007 in which his passenger, John, was severely injured and entered a coma from which he's not ever expected to return.
Hulk and Nick's conversation was, in a word: sickening. Hulk is basically telling his son that John, the passenger, was an agressive, arrogant young man who, due to his actions, was placed in this coma by God. In Hulk's own words, "God laid some heavy shit on that kid..." Nick took this as prompting and said, "Well, John was a negative person..."
Never mind Nick was driving the car. Never mind Nick may have very well been intoxicated. Never mind the passenger, John, will probably be a vegetable for the rest of his life...it's John's fault and God's will. Or, so says the Hulk.
No personal accountability, no personal responsibility, nothing but arrogant disregard. Yep, that's Hulk's parenting style. Needless to say, Hogan does NOT know best.
Now, let's contrast this with a note from my friend, Debe Hoffman. Last week, Debe was watching Dr. Phil with her 19 year old, Caleb. The episode showed brats and how awful they are to their parents, how mean they are at school, the typical showcasing of brats.
As the episode went on, Caleb started commenting about how the brats' parents are to blame. Debe engaged her son, agreed for the most part, but said that at some age, personal accountability kicks in and then, no matter what the parent does, it's the brat's choice to be bratty. Caleb agreed, but really, really put the lion's share of the blame on the parents.
He continued to get more and more adament about the parents' responsibility. Debe finally laughed and said, "I wish I'd have recorded this to play back to you when you're a parent...that everything is the fault of the parents and nothing is the kids fault!"
Caleb stopped, looked her in the eye and softly said, "Mom, you don't get it. I'm saying that the reason I'm not a brat is because of you. You showed me personal responsibility when I was a kid. The mothers on this show can't hold a candle to the terriffic job you did of raising me."
Parents, wouldn't you like to be Debe? If, in a dozen years or so, my stepkids are happy, healthy, mature adults and return to say thank you for what little influence I had in their late adolescent years, well, I'll be happy. Still, every parent knows the greatest reward is to see the kid develop and grow into that well-rounded adult. And I'll keep my fingers crossed I can help mine along the way-if just a little.
Maybe we need to submit this for a reality series: Hoffman Knows Best! I'll darned sure watch that over Tia Tequila!
Nick Hogan, as you may well know, is serving eight months in a FL county jail after pleading no contest to reckless driving. The charges stemmed from a wreck in the summer of 2007 in which his passenger, John, was severely injured and entered a coma from which he's not ever expected to return.
Hulk and Nick's conversation was, in a word: sickening. Hulk is basically telling his son that John, the passenger, was an agressive, arrogant young man who, due to his actions, was placed in this coma by God. In Hulk's own words, "God laid some heavy shit on that kid..." Nick took this as prompting and said, "Well, John was a negative person..."
Never mind Nick was driving the car. Never mind Nick may have very well been intoxicated. Never mind the passenger, John, will probably be a vegetable for the rest of his life...it's John's fault and God's will. Or, so says the Hulk.
No personal accountability, no personal responsibility, nothing but arrogant disregard. Yep, that's Hulk's parenting style. Needless to say, Hogan does NOT know best.
Now, let's contrast this with a note from my friend, Debe Hoffman. Last week, Debe was watching Dr. Phil with her 19 year old, Caleb. The episode showed brats and how awful they are to their parents, how mean they are at school, the typical showcasing of brats.
As the episode went on, Caleb started commenting about how the brats' parents are to blame. Debe engaged her son, agreed for the most part, but said that at some age, personal accountability kicks in and then, no matter what the parent does, it's the brat's choice to be bratty. Caleb agreed, but really, really put the lion's share of the blame on the parents.
He continued to get more and more adament about the parents' responsibility. Debe finally laughed and said, "I wish I'd have recorded this to play back to you when you're a parent...that everything is the fault of the parents and nothing is the kids fault!"
Caleb stopped, looked her in the eye and softly said, "Mom, you don't get it. I'm saying that the reason I'm not a brat is because of you. You showed me personal responsibility when I was a kid. The mothers on this show can't hold a candle to the terriffic job you did of raising me."
Parents, wouldn't you like to be Debe? If, in a dozen years or so, my stepkids are happy, healthy, mature adults and return to say thank you for what little influence I had in their late adolescent years, well, I'll be happy. Still, every parent knows the greatest reward is to see the kid develop and grow into that well-rounded adult. And I'll keep my fingers crossed I can help mine along the way-if just a little.
Maybe we need to submit this for a reality series: Hoffman Knows Best! I'll darned sure watch that over Tia Tequila!
Monday, May 26, 2008
Why I Can Do What I Do
On the flight back to Orlando yesterday, I got a good little reminder from the Southwest Airlines pilot on flight 3032. As we're descending into Orlando, the pilot said over the PA, "Hope y'all are having a great Memorial Day weekend...I'm glad we could spend part of it with you. Please, if you know a vet, be sure to tell them, 'Thank you.'"
Why can I do what I do? Because of soldiers who've protected my first amendment rights. Why can I travel in relative safety throughout the country? Because of our soldiers fighting terrorism in the Middle East. Why are we able to go to the store without fear of being blown up by a car bomb in the Target parking lot? Because our soldiers are helping to keep those kinds of homicidal killers out of our country. Why am I able to sleep a little easier at night, even as we head into hurricane season in Florida? Because if a catastrophe strikes, the National Guard will be at the ready immediately.
You, too, benefit from all these privledges protected by our active soldiers and vets. To those brave souls, you have my unending gratitude...and my hope that other Engel's Ensights readers will pass along theirs, as well.
Why can I do what I do? Because of soldiers who've protected my first amendment rights. Why can I travel in relative safety throughout the country? Because of our soldiers fighting terrorism in the Middle East. Why are we able to go to the store without fear of being blown up by a car bomb in the Target parking lot? Because our soldiers are helping to keep those kinds of homicidal killers out of our country. Why am I able to sleep a little easier at night, even as we head into hurricane season in Florida? Because if a catastrophe strikes, the National Guard will be at the ready immediately.
You, too, benefit from all these privledges protected by our active soldiers and vets. To those brave souls, you have my unending gratitude...and my hope that other Engel's Ensights readers will pass along theirs, as well.
Catching Up
What? No Engel's Ensights posts the past few days? What gives?
What gives was lack of net access. Just returned from a few days in The Lou with family and friends. Took tohe trip back in order to visit my aunt and uncle, as well as see some friends, all of which was topped off by a fantastic show by Robert Earl Keen at the Pageant!
Man, one of the best REK shows I've witnessed! Forget the opening act, forget the North Mississippi All Stars, REK took the cake with his stories and songs when he took the stage.
I want to send out special thanks to my buddy, Steve Stair, for getting us the tickets. At the last moment, Steve was unable to attend due to a terminally ill father. As he said, "I can't miss a moment with my father...I'd feel awful forever if he died while I was out seeing a concert." In times like this, you do whatever you think is right. And Stair is the kinda guy who does things right.
Thanks to my friends, Amy and Andy, for some pre-show entertainment consisting of old stories and crab rangoons!
And with that, I'll bid you farewell until the next post. Don't worry-loads of stories and insights to share!
What gives was lack of net access. Just returned from a few days in The Lou with family and friends. Took tohe trip back in order to visit my aunt and uncle, as well as see some friends, all of which was topped off by a fantastic show by Robert Earl Keen at the Pageant!
Man, one of the best REK shows I've witnessed! Forget the opening act, forget the North Mississippi All Stars, REK took the cake with his stories and songs when he took the stage.
I want to send out special thanks to my buddy, Steve Stair, for getting us the tickets. At the last moment, Steve was unable to attend due to a terminally ill father. As he said, "I can't miss a moment with my father...I'd feel awful forever if he died while I was out seeing a concert." In times like this, you do whatever you think is right. And Stair is the kinda guy who does things right.
Thanks to my friends, Amy and Andy, for some pre-show entertainment consisting of old stories and crab rangoons!
And with that, I'll bid you farewell until the next post. Don't worry-loads of stories and insights to share!
Monday, May 19, 2008
The Sign Of A True Professional
Is there any hotter of a topic than religion? Historically, religion has been used to justify the slaughter of millions,, to push governmental policies, to create laws and, worst of all, to justify the crimes committed against humanity. Listen to anyone who is a strong, strong believer of anything faith based and, chances are, you'll hear someone with a very slanted opinion.
This is why I was so encouraged when I heard a recent interview with Dr. William B. Bradshaw. Dr. Bradshaw is a retired college president, professor and novelist-as well as having one of the only degrees ever given (maybe the only one at all!) in (get this) demonology.
Now, if you think the study of demons is some wacky degree you get off line for $25 and a framed certificate-think again. Dr. Bradshaw is a graduate of Yale Divinity school and St. Andrew's University. Oh, and he's a retired protestant minister, to boot.
If someone is a minister, you can bet he/she had a very, very strong belief in deity...duh! How many athiests ever decide to go to seminary?!
Dr. Bradshaw was being interviewed on my fav radio show, The Dave Glover Show on 97.1 FM in St. Louis. Dave asked a very pointed question: After studying anything and everything to do with demons, everything from Biblical accounts to being "hands on" at an exorcism, have you come to your own personal conclusion about whether or not demons exist?"
Now, folks, this is where Dr. Bradshaw showed some true, true professionalism. Let's not forget he is retired-after over 40 years of study. Studying EVERYTHING! For decades! And yet? His answer to Dave's querry?
"I have come to my personal conclusion. However, I do not share my personal beliefs. If I tell you my personal beliefs, I leave the position of an academic and step into the role of a convertor. I want the study of demonology to be as academic as possible, so I do not share my personal beliefs."
Do you get how awesome this is? He's a minister, so he obviously believes the Christian set of beliefs is correct. Yet when it comes to his academic studies, he wants no part of teaching his beliefs, but rather, only focusing on the study from a strictly academic perspective. Do you know what kind of self discipline and respect for academia this must take? And what would you expect from an academic?
I salute you, Dr. Bradshaw, for remaining a true professional...and, I'll soon be reading your book, too!
This is why I was so encouraged when I heard a recent interview with Dr. William B. Bradshaw. Dr. Bradshaw is a retired college president, professor and novelist-as well as having one of the only degrees ever given (maybe the only one at all!) in (get this) demonology.
Now, if you think the study of demons is some wacky degree you get off line for $25 and a framed certificate-think again. Dr. Bradshaw is a graduate of Yale Divinity school and St. Andrew's University. Oh, and he's a retired protestant minister, to boot.
If someone is a minister, you can bet he/she had a very, very strong belief in deity...duh! How many athiests ever decide to go to seminary?!
Dr. Bradshaw was being interviewed on my fav radio show, The Dave Glover Show on 97.1 FM in St. Louis. Dave asked a very pointed question: After studying anything and everything to do with demons, everything from Biblical accounts to being "hands on" at an exorcism, have you come to your own personal conclusion about whether or not demons exist?"
Now, folks, this is where Dr. Bradshaw showed some true, true professionalism. Let's not forget he is retired-after over 40 years of study. Studying EVERYTHING! For decades! And yet? His answer to Dave's querry?
"I have come to my personal conclusion. However, I do not share my personal beliefs. If I tell you my personal beliefs, I leave the position of an academic and step into the role of a convertor. I want the study of demonology to be as academic as possible, so I do not share my personal beliefs."
Do you get how awesome this is? He's a minister, so he obviously believes the Christian set of beliefs is correct. Yet when it comes to his academic studies, he wants no part of teaching his beliefs, but rather, only focusing on the study from a strictly academic perspective. Do you know what kind of self discipline and respect for academia this must take? And what would you expect from an academic?
I salute you, Dr. Bradshaw, for remaining a true professional...and, I'll soon be reading your book, too!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Is This A Way To Save On Gas? Neigh!
Earlier this week, there was a report of a Tennessee man who is trying to beat the high gas prices-by riding his horse to work.
Now, that's a cute story and all. Most folks love horses and would probably like to ride occassionally. Maybe even often, depending on just how much you love horses. But a money saver?
The man admits his horse eats approximately $150-$200 worth of food every month. Plus, the horse itself was probably several thousand dollars. Vet bills, housing accomodations, care, saddle, tack, ...yeah, not such a money saver, buddy!
We live in one of the most congested areas around. So much so that running little errands like going to the post office or dry cleaner take an hour, even though they are both within three or four miles of the front door. Why? Traffic.. And yet? Do we spend $200 per month on gas? Maybe, but if so, that's a real, real expensive month.
If someone wants to ride their horse, fine! More power to 'em! And if someone wants to ride his/her horse to work, even more fine! But it is NOT a money saver, folks-and don't pretend it is!
Now, that's a cute story and all. Most folks love horses and would probably like to ride occassionally. Maybe even often, depending on just how much you love horses. But a money saver?
The man admits his horse eats approximately $150-$200 worth of food every month. Plus, the horse itself was probably several thousand dollars. Vet bills, housing accomodations, care, saddle, tack, ...yeah, not such a money saver, buddy!
We live in one of the most congested areas around. So much so that running little errands like going to the post office or dry cleaner take an hour, even though they are both within three or four miles of the front door. Why? Traffic.. And yet? Do we spend $200 per month on gas? Maybe, but if so, that's a real, real expensive month.
If someone wants to ride their horse, fine! More power to 'em! And if someone wants to ride his/her horse to work, even more fine! But it is NOT a money saver, folks-and don't pretend it is!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Thank You, Discovery Channel!
We all like secrets, right? Conspiracy theories, secret societies, under-the-table goings-on...all these things intrigue the average mind. At least, my average mind.
As you may have read in my autobiography, I'm a Freemason. As you may also know, Freemasons are always under the gun by conspiracy theorists and other whackos who want to make our humble brotherhood into something it's not; namely, a new world order which controls everything from the Catholic church to the government of your town. Negative, on all counts.
Tonight, the Discovery Channel had several hours of documentaries on Freemasonry. Without a doubt, this is the most balanced, accurate and fair depiction I've ever seen on the Masonic Lodge. Major, major props go to the Discovery Channel for their representation of the fraternity.
Was it all accurate? Nah, not really. Their footage of an actual Masonic Entered Apprentice initiation was far from correct(something probably intended by the Masonic actors), but at least the Discovery Channel did not participate in the usual Freemasonry bashing by conspiracy weirdos.
In fact, in our age of media hype where mountains are made of mole hills, I give such huge props to DC for bringing it all back home at the end of the program. See, in the intro, they had two or three "experts" making outlandish claims about the Masons; they control all governments of all countries, they are responsible for thousands of unsolved murders world wide, etc.
At the end of the program, after showing how many conspiracies simply don't hold water, they had more comments by the "experts." Here is where DC really gets kudos...the first expert then started to discuss how extra terrestrials came from outer space, landed in Europe, bred with the giants of the world to create slaves which are now known as homo sapiens...and those slaves were the first Masons. Beg pardon, Sir Whack Job? By completing the program with such outlandish claims, the "experts" showed their true colors of Fruit Loops...thereby giving more creedence to the true work of the order-brotherly love, relief, truth and the betterment of the individual man.
Again, in our age of biased media and puffing up every story as the next giant headline, it was really refreshing to see Discovery Channel keeping things in perspective and showing the truth-no matter how boring it really is!
As you may have read in my autobiography, I'm a Freemason. As you may also know, Freemasons are always under the gun by conspiracy theorists and other whackos who want to make our humble brotherhood into something it's not; namely, a new world order which controls everything from the Catholic church to the government of your town. Negative, on all counts.
Tonight, the Discovery Channel had several hours of documentaries on Freemasonry. Without a doubt, this is the most balanced, accurate and fair depiction I've ever seen on the Masonic Lodge. Major, major props go to the Discovery Channel for their representation of the fraternity.
Was it all accurate? Nah, not really. Their footage of an actual Masonic Entered Apprentice initiation was far from correct(something probably intended by the Masonic actors), but at least the Discovery Channel did not participate in the usual Freemasonry bashing by conspiracy weirdos.
In fact, in our age of media hype where mountains are made of mole hills, I give such huge props to DC for bringing it all back home at the end of the program. See, in the intro, they had two or three "experts" making outlandish claims about the Masons; they control all governments of all countries, they are responsible for thousands of unsolved murders world wide, etc.
At the end of the program, after showing how many conspiracies simply don't hold water, they had more comments by the "experts." Here is where DC really gets kudos...the first expert then started to discuss how extra terrestrials came from outer space, landed in Europe, bred with the giants of the world to create slaves which are now known as homo sapiens...and those slaves were the first Masons. Beg pardon, Sir Whack Job? By completing the program with such outlandish claims, the "experts" showed their true colors of Fruit Loops...thereby giving more creedence to the true work of the order-brotherly love, relief, truth and the betterment of the individual man.
Again, in our age of biased media and puffing up every story as the next giant headline, it was really refreshing to see Discovery Channel keeping things in perspective and showing the truth-no matter how boring it really is!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Things I'm Afraid Of...
I have a couple of different web sites. I have three or four blogs. I have a profile on MySpace, facebook and linkedin, as well as some other networking sites. With these elements, you'd probably think I was pretty tech savvy. Negative.
Technology scares me. Maybe not scares, but definitely intimidates. See, technology itself is kinda intimidating. Just learning to do something new takes some courage, but to learn to do something new AND learning it with commands for my adaptive screen reading software makes it a whole different ball of wax.
I've hesitated for a long, long time on getting a new cell phone. Yet, when I finally got my new cell about a month ago, I wondered how I've lived so long without these new features. This phone has totally improved my relationship with my stepkids, believe it or not. Teenagers seem as though their main form of communication is text messaging. With my new phone, I can finally do that! Just dropping little notes to my stepdaughter telling her to have a good night at work, or an inside joke between my stepson and I, these have made our overall relationship all the more fun!
Another thing I've resisted is the whole Ipod movement. There have been accessible mp3 players and IPOD-ish devices for a while now, but there's double the learning curve when you're using adaptive technology.
Well, I finally bit the bullet. Yesterday, I ordered the new Victor Stream. The Victor Stream is an accessible player which has accessible software for blind users, but can play all digital music, books, podcasts, etc. It hasn't even arrived, but in prep for the minute it hits my hands, I've been working on downloading different things.
One thing I really, really miss about STL is talk radio. Orlando is just lacking in this department. And specifically I miss 97.1 FM Talk from STL. And even more specifically, I miss the Dave Glover Show. I can still stream it in sometimes, but it's kinda a pain in the rump. So, in a given month, I doubt I've caught the DGS more than two or three times...but not any more!
As of yesterday, I've started downloading all the episodes and placing them on my laptop. I can play them right here on the computer, or wait until the Victor Stream arrives and transfer there. Either way, this world of the DGS has once again opened up to me!
And why was I intimidated? Fear of failure, pure and simple. But I know I'm not an idiot, so with a little practice I can figure it out. And I have. And now I'm enjoying my favorite show again.
Fear is crap. I hate fear. And yet, like everyone, I succumb to it from time to time. I'm glad this isn't going to be one of those times. There is so much upside potential once that fear is conquered that it makes me question my fear about other technological things. What's my next tech fear to overcome? Dunno...but when I see it, I won't turn away!
Technology scares me. Maybe not scares, but definitely intimidates. See, technology itself is kinda intimidating. Just learning to do something new takes some courage, but to learn to do something new AND learning it with commands for my adaptive screen reading software makes it a whole different ball of wax.
I've hesitated for a long, long time on getting a new cell phone. Yet, when I finally got my new cell about a month ago, I wondered how I've lived so long without these new features. This phone has totally improved my relationship with my stepkids, believe it or not. Teenagers seem as though their main form of communication is text messaging. With my new phone, I can finally do that! Just dropping little notes to my stepdaughter telling her to have a good night at work, or an inside joke between my stepson and I, these have made our overall relationship all the more fun!
Another thing I've resisted is the whole Ipod movement. There have been accessible mp3 players and IPOD-ish devices for a while now, but there's double the learning curve when you're using adaptive technology.
Well, I finally bit the bullet. Yesterday, I ordered the new Victor Stream. The Victor Stream is an accessible player which has accessible software for blind users, but can play all digital music, books, podcasts, etc. It hasn't even arrived, but in prep for the minute it hits my hands, I've been working on downloading different things.
One thing I really, really miss about STL is talk radio. Orlando is just lacking in this department. And specifically I miss 97.1 FM Talk from STL. And even more specifically, I miss the Dave Glover Show. I can still stream it in sometimes, but it's kinda a pain in the rump. So, in a given month, I doubt I've caught the DGS more than two or three times...but not any more!
As of yesterday, I've started downloading all the episodes and placing them on my laptop. I can play them right here on the computer, or wait until the Victor Stream arrives and transfer there. Either way, this world of the DGS has once again opened up to me!
And why was I intimidated? Fear of failure, pure and simple. But I know I'm not an idiot, so with a little practice I can figure it out. And I have. And now I'm enjoying my favorite show again.
Fear is crap. I hate fear. And yet, like everyone, I succumb to it from time to time. I'm glad this isn't going to be one of those times. There is so much upside potential once that fear is conquered that it makes me question my fear about other technological things. What's my next tech fear to overcome? Dunno...but when I see it, I won't turn away!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Fool Me Once...
When last I ranted about a recent trip to the doctor's office (dermatologist, to be precise) you heard about the pathetic, controlling nature of the doc's administrative nurse out front. This "health care professional"(and I use that term loosely) stated that their office policy was to not allow couples in to see the doctor together. Ridiculous, I know... and it was proven so when my lovely bride questioned the doctor about this. He said, "Of course your husband can be in here!"
Well, today was follow-up day. Marvelyne has had two stitches in her nose the last eight days from a biopsy of a questionable area; not to mention two non-stitched locations on her right leg where samples were also taken. Yours truly had one spot removed from his back. As all good dermatological offices should, the combined four samples were biopsied - and all came back as benign. Whew!
Now, let me explain a few other things...
When Marvelyne first made the appointment, it was primarily to discuss an area on her temple that we were concerned about. This was explained to the nurse before the doctor entered the exam room. Once the doctor came in, he looked at a couple of areas and then ordered the tests. When Marvelyne began to ask him about the area she was concerned about, he refused to even look at it, and said, “That’s enough with these other three today. Come back in six weeks and we'll look at that one."
Folks, what does this say to the patient? If you're wondering, I'll tell you what it says to me, the patient (well, the husband of the patient):
"Yeah, it could be cancer, but we're not going to mess with it for another month and a half. In fact, I'm so unconcerned with it, I'll not even examine it, much less take a sample to be sure, but I'll have you inconvenience your schedule, worry yourself sick and come back later so I can charge you for another office visit! Won't that be fun?"
Did he really say this? With the exception of the money talk... yes. More or less, his attitude is one of disregard for his patient's feelings, time and finances. This is EXACTLY why this dermatologist will not, in fact, get Marvelyne's appointment in six weeks. Does any patient want to be treated by a doctor who disrespects these highly important aspects? Negative, ghost rider.
So, we'll search out a new doctor. And if you've had opportunities to be treated as less than human by physicians – take the matter into your own hands. Be fair, but be fair to yourself, too-patients are customers. If the physician does not offer good patient care, then it should be viewed as a restaurant offering less than adequate customer service. I encourage you to respect yourself and be treated as the valuable patient you are.
Well, today was follow-up day. Marvelyne has had two stitches in her nose the last eight days from a biopsy of a questionable area; not to mention two non-stitched locations on her right leg where samples were also taken. Yours truly had one spot removed from his back. As all good dermatological offices should, the combined four samples were biopsied - and all came back as benign. Whew!
Now, let me explain a few other things...
When Marvelyne first made the appointment, it was primarily to discuss an area on her temple that we were concerned about. This was explained to the nurse before the doctor entered the exam room. Once the doctor came in, he looked at a couple of areas and then ordered the tests. When Marvelyne began to ask him about the area she was concerned about, he refused to even look at it, and said, “That’s enough with these other three today. Come back in six weeks and we'll look at that one."
Folks, what does this say to the patient? If you're wondering, I'll tell you what it says to me, the patient (well, the husband of the patient):
"Yeah, it could be cancer, but we're not going to mess with it for another month and a half. In fact, I'm so unconcerned with it, I'll not even examine it, much less take a sample to be sure, but I'll have you inconvenience your schedule, worry yourself sick and come back later so I can charge you for another office visit! Won't that be fun?"
Did he really say this? With the exception of the money talk... yes. More or less, his attitude is one of disregard for his patient's feelings, time and finances. This is EXACTLY why this dermatologist will not, in fact, get Marvelyne's appointment in six weeks. Does any patient want to be treated by a doctor who disrespects these highly important aspects? Negative, ghost rider.
So, we'll search out a new doctor. And if you've had opportunities to be treated as less than human by physicians – take the matter into your own hands. Be fair, but be fair to yourself, too-patients are customers. If the physician does not offer good patient care, then it should be viewed as a restaurant offering less than adequate customer service. I encourage you to respect yourself and be treated as the valuable patient you are.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Shantaram
Several years ago, like, at least two, I had a book reccomended by a friend, Alice. Two days later, this same book was reccoed by another friend, Andy. This wasn't the new Stephen King, nor Patterson, nor anyone I'd ever heard of. The book? "Shantaram" by Gregory David Roberts.
When I finally worked down the ol' "to read" list to "Shantaram", I was pumped to get started on it! That is, until it actually arrived.
Sidebar: I receive all my books on extended play, four track cassettes from the National Library Services. An average book (say one of those by Patterson or Grisham) will usually run three, maybe four cassettes in total. Four cassettes equals sixteen total sides equals around a 700 page book.
When "Shantaram" arrived, folks, it came in two boxes it's so big! Now, I ain't skeered of a long book, but this is probably the second longest work I've ever read (the first being "It" by King which I read when I was 14)..
"Shantaram" weighs in at a whopping 29 sides and well over 900 pages. Twenty pages into the novel? I was hooked!
Roberts has led a fascinating, fascinating life. While "Shantaram" is a novel and fiction, it traces many of the experiences Roberts has had. While not a true autobiography, his accounts of Bombay, etc. are true to form due to having lived in the sub-continent for many years.
Now, I'll not spoil the story for you, faithful reader, but if you'd like to check out a little about "Shantaram", take a look at:
www.Shantaram.com
I was checking out some of the info on the site and ran into a quote of Roberts' I really like:
Love the truth, and be true to love.
I'm only on side three (approx. 75 pages) thus far, but if this philosophy is prevelant in "Shantaram" (which from all accounts it will be), expect to hear even more about this work on EE in the coming days!
When I finally worked down the ol' "to read" list to "Shantaram", I was pumped to get started on it! That is, until it actually arrived.
Sidebar: I receive all my books on extended play, four track cassettes from the National Library Services. An average book (say one of those by Patterson or Grisham) will usually run three, maybe four cassettes in total. Four cassettes equals sixteen total sides equals around a 700 page book.
When "Shantaram" arrived, folks, it came in two boxes it's so big! Now, I ain't skeered of a long book, but this is probably the second longest work I've ever read (the first being "It" by King which I read when I was 14)..
"Shantaram" weighs in at a whopping 29 sides and well over 900 pages. Twenty pages into the novel? I was hooked!
Roberts has led a fascinating, fascinating life. While "Shantaram" is a novel and fiction, it traces many of the experiences Roberts has had. While not a true autobiography, his accounts of Bombay, etc. are true to form due to having lived in the sub-continent for many years.
Now, I'll not spoil the story for you, faithful reader, but if you'd like to check out a little about "Shantaram", take a look at:
www.Shantaram.com
I was checking out some of the info on the site and ran into a quote of Roberts' I really like:
Love the truth, and be true to love.
I'm only on side three (approx. 75 pages) thus far, but if this philosophy is prevelant in "Shantaram" (which from all accounts it will be), expect to hear even more about this work on EE in the coming days!
Happy Mother's Day!
Just wanted to say a very happy mother's day to all the moms out there!
Ya know, Mother's Day is all based around honoring the work and sacrafices of moms. Yet, every mother I know isn't as honored by flowers and lunch as seeing her kids grow up to be happy, healthy and successful. Not financially successful as much as a mature, well-rounded emotionally sound adult. And that doesn't just get shown on Mother's Day, but all year round.
So, if you're a mom, I wish you the happiest of Mother's Days! And if you have a mom, be sure to tell her today how much she's done for you. Happy Mom's Day!
Ya know, Mother's Day is all based around honoring the work and sacrafices of moms. Yet, every mother I know isn't as honored by flowers and lunch as seeing her kids grow up to be happy, healthy and successful. Not financially successful as much as a mature, well-rounded emotionally sound adult. And that doesn't just get shown on Mother's Day, but all year round.
So, if you're a mom, I wish you the happiest of Mother's Days! And if you have a mom, be sure to tell her today how much she's done for you. Happy Mom's Day!
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Criticize With The Mouth, Compliment With The Hand
Have you ever had a disagreement with someone via E mail? If so, you probably know how quickly tempers rise and the situation spins out of control. There are people with whom I'd never, ever verbally spar, but when we E chat? It's like cats and dogs. Welcome to communication with words, but without inflection, pauses, softening the tone, etc.
I was just reading an article on business advice. The writer interviewed some big time CEOs and asked, "What's the best business advice you ever received?"
The answer I enjoyed the most was from the head honcho of a major cosmetics company. In essence, he said his predecessor shared with him the title of this blog post.
Specifically, when you have to critique aan employee or a peer(or anyone, for that matter), do it verbally and in person. When you're ready to compliment someone, do it in writing.
Why is this so helpful?
Well, to start, having a written record of a criticism is something most folks tend to dwell over again and again and again. A few weeks ago, I got an E mail from a business relation. Some of her points were legit, some were just stupid. But it all came into my ears as criticism. I looked at this E mail no more than half a dozen times, dissecting it, analyzing it, cursing it-all before I realized I was driving myself nuts. Then, I deleted it. And quickly deleted my entire recycle bin.
Plus, a "Good job!" or "Atta boy!" doesn't mean nearly as much if it's in passing. If someone compliments me with words written in an E mail or letter, I treasure that. I don't if they just say it. After all, compliments are handed out constantly(step into any department store and you'll quickly be complimented by a sales person).
I'd never heard it put quite this concisely, but from now on, any disagreement will not be met with a reply to an E mail, but with a call. Any time I need to compliment someone, it'll be by using the tips of my fingers.
Hope this advice works for you, too.
I was just reading an article on business advice. The writer interviewed some big time CEOs and asked, "What's the best business advice you ever received?"
The answer I enjoyed the most was from the head honcho of a major cosmetics company. In essence, he said his predecessor shared with him the title of this blog post.
Specifically, when you have to critique aan employee or a peer(or anyone, for that matter), do it verbally and in person. When you're ready to compliment someone, do it in writing.
Why is this so helpful?
Well, to start, having a written record of a criticism is something most folks tend to dwell over again and again and again. A few weeks ago, I got an E mail from a business relation. Some of her points were legit, some were just stupid. But it all came into my ears as criticism. I looked at this E mail no more than half a dozen times, dissecting it, analyzing it, cursing it-all before I realized I was driving myself nuts. Then, I deleted it. And quickly deleted my entire recycle bin.
Plus, a "Good job!" or "Atta boy!" doesn't mean nearly as much if it's in passing. If someone compliments me with words written in an E mail or letter, I treasure that. I don't if they just say it. After all, compliments are handed out constantly(step into any department store and you'll quickly be complimented by a sales person).
I'd never heard it put quite this concisely, but from now on, any disagreement will not be met with a reply to an E mail, but with a call. Any time I need to compliment someone, it'll be by using the tips of my fingers.
Hope this advice works for you, too.
Monday, May 05, 2008
When You're A Professional...
I just got back from an appointment with a new dermatologist. It was a fairly wretched experience. The physician himself was a pretty good guy, but his staff? Yeesh. Awful. Unfortunately, this doctor has missed one of the keys to being a professional-be sure the people representing you are professional, too.
Here's how this went down...
Marvelyne and I scheduled appointments back to back. We both wanted to hear what the doc had to say to the other. Fair enough, especially since my reason for the appt. was so the dermatologist could point out skin blemishes to Marvelyne I obviously don't see.
When the secretary called Marvelyne's name from the waiting room, I got up, too. Convo went down like this:
Secretary: "Sir, we'll see you when your wife is finished."
Marcus: "We're together."
Sec: "I'm sorry, but we don't see couples together. She can come get you when it's your turn."
Marcus: "So, she can be in my appointment, but I can't be in hers? That doesn't make sense."
Sec: "I'm sorry, sir, but that's our policy."
Now, folks, that was NOT their policy. In fact, when the doc came into Marvelyne's appt., she asked, "Can my husband be in here?" The doc's response was what it should be, "Of course!"
Still, 10 minutes later, I was finally allowed into the exam room with my wife-and with a temper about at the boiling point. I'd not yet met the doc, but what do you think my overall impression was? Yep-negative.
Any professional knows he/she must, MUST have representatives who give a favorable impression. This doc does not have that person on his staff. In fact, instead of a non-issue(a worst case scenario for a physician's secretary), he has one who does harm.
This isn't to say the doc himself was bad. He was fine, but the impression was already made by his crappy secretary.
After being represented by a speaker's bureau in the past, and after having different web designers creating work to represent me, and an army of past marketing folks, I know one thing-do NOT hire anyone who cannot properly represent me to others. I've made this mistake time and time again. Is it even possible not to? Sure, but just like finding Prince Charming, sometimes you've gotta kiss a lot of frogs
The key is, when you realize the person representing you is a frog, it's time to make frog legs. As a professional, I will never continue to allow someone to represent me in person, print, communication or video who cannot make me look fabulous. Seems like doctors need this lesson, too.
.
Here's how this went down...
Marvelyne and I scheduled appointments back to back. We both wanted to hear what the doc had to say to the other. Fair enough, especially since my reason for the appt. was so the dermatologist could point out skin blemishes to Marvelyne I obviously don't see.
When the secretary called Marvelyne's name from the waiting room, I got up, too. Convo went down like this:
Secretary: "Sir, we'll see you when your wife is finished."
Marcus: "We're together."
Sec: "I'm sorry, but we don't see couples together. She can come get you when it's your turn."
Marcus: "So, she can be in my appointment, but I can't be in hers? That doesn't make sense."
Sec: "I'm sorry, sir, but that's our policy."
Now, folks, that was NOT their policy. In fact, when the doc came into Marvelyne's appt., she asked, "Can my husband be in here?" The doc's response was what it should be, "Of course!"
Still, 10 minutes later, I was finally allowed into the exam room with my wife-and with a temper about at the boiling point. I'd not yet met the doc, but what do you think my overall impression was? Yep-negative.
Any professional knows he/she must, MUST have representatives who give a favorable impression. This doc does not have that person on his staff. In fact, instead of a non-issue(a worst case scenario for a physician's secretary), he has one who does harm.
This isn't to say the doc himself was bad. He was fine, but the impression was already made by his crappy secretary.
After being represented by a speaker's bureau in the past, and after having different web designers creating work to represent me, and an army of past marketing folks, I know one thing-do NOT hire anyone who cannot properly represent me to others. I've made this mistake time and time again. Is it even possible not to? Sure, but just like finding Prince Charming, sometimes you've gotta kiss a lot of frogs
The key is, when you realize the person representing you is a frog, it's time to make frog legs. As a professional, I will never continue to allow someone to represent me in person, print, communication or video who cannot make me look fabulous. Seems like doctors need this lesson, too.
.
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Birthday Thanks!
Yours truly hhit the big 33 yesterday! It was a fantastic day and I couldn't be happier with how it went! Thanks to all who sent cards, E mails, called and, most of all, for the bazillions of MySpace and Facebook comments with birthday wishes! I felt rock star popular!
Around here, it was work as usual for a good portion of the day. Went out for some errands in the afternoon and treated myself to some new clothes. Dinner with Marvelyne and the kids at Uno's for dinner, then off to the Shrine for the Florida Shrine Association fun!
And what did I get? Well, believe it or not, my favorite gift was socks. Yes, socks. When I bought my tux a few weeks ago, the only expense I spared was a pair of black silk socks. It's ridiculous to pay nearly $20 for one pair of socks. But Marvelyne, being the astute girl that she is, watched for the sale and got the final component of "pimp Marcus out" wear!
Also got a James McMurtry CD(BTW, if you dig alt country, check out his tune "Choctaw Bingo." If you're easily offended, don't.) Also got Old Crow Medicine Show's "Big Iron World" and the best of the Dave Glover Show(a little reminder of STL and back home). Gator wear is now in full effect as my stepson will be starting at University of Florida this fall(thank God I like blue and orange!).
Again, turning 33 just reinforced how blessed I am to have such a fabulous family, such great friends and a fulfilling career which introduces me to so many incredible people. Thanks, everyone!
Around here, it was work as usual for a good portion of the day. Went out for some errands in the afternoon and treated myself to some new clothes. Dinner with Marvelyne and the kids at Uno's for dinner, then off to the Shrine for the Florida Shrine Association fun!
And what did I get? Well, believe it or not, my favorite gift was socks. Yes, socks. When I bought my tux a few weeks ago, the only expense I spared was a pair of black silk socks. It's ridiculous to pay nearly $20 for one pair of socks. But Marvelyne, being the astute girl that she is, watched for the sale and got the final component of "pimp Marcus out" wear!
Also got a James McMurtry CD(BTW, if you dig alt country, check out his tune "Choctaw Bingo." If you're easily offended, don't.) Also got Old Crow Medicine Show's "Big Iron World" and the best of the Dave Glover Show(a little reminder of STL and back home). Gator wear is now in full effect as my stepson will be starting at University of Florida this fall(thank God I like blue and orange!).
Again, turning 33 just reinforced how blessed I am to have such a fabulous family, such great friends and a fulfilling career which introduces me to so many incredible people. Thanks, everyone!
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Different People, Different Reactions
Why are you the way you are? Like, think of one of your bad personality traits. Any reason why you're that way?
Some mental health experts like to think each child is born with a clean slate. I.E., their personality is created by experiences. Realistically, this makes little sense.
Still, I find it fascinating to explore people. Why am I the way I am? Why are you the way you are?
One of my negative traits is that I'm controlling. I want to have a precise and accurate and efficient plan for everything. Then, I want that plan carried out to a T. I get edgey with detours from that plan and often get angry if things don't happen the way they were intended. Grr. I hate this about myself.
Why am I this way? Well, I can't specifically point to instances from childhood, but I can certainly imagine it has something to do with my blindness and loss of sight at 18. See, I had zero control while I was hospitalized. I couldn't feed myself, wash myself, breathe on my own...even wipe myself. Zero control. So, when little bits of self control started coming back, I latched on with a death grip!
Secondly, in my life as a single blind dude living alone, I had to plan things pretty specifically. I'd stock up on groceries because, well, if I run out of something, getting to the store isn't quite as easy as it once was. I kept my home in a moderately precise order. If the remote control gets misplaced, I can't just glance down at the coffeetable to see it's still there, just two foot out of the way. Plus, as much as it pains me to admit it, there was a weird insecurity thing I had going on: I will be anal retentive and even more precise with my appearance. Never, EVER do I want people to say, "The dude has two different colored socks on. What do you expect? He can't see them anyway!" Yikes! Never!
So, a few nights ago I was watching that lovely show, "Intervention." Pathetic case of a 40-something mother of three who became an alcoholic. She really drank like a college freshman; with complete abandon, no control, acted ridiculous when she was wasted, made terrible decisions when shhe was drunk.
In an interview while she was sober, she(the alcoholic) told the story of a visit to the next door neighbor when she was a child. That neighbor molested her. When she told her parents, they swept it under the rug. Her mother(also interviewed) said, "Something happened, but it didn't harm her. There were no repurcussions from it or anything bad at all."
Say it with me folks...WTF? A child is sexually abused by an adult and there are no repurcussions? What planet are you living on, lady?
So, we have said alcoholic pointing to the molestation as a reason for her addiction. We have said alcoholic's mother saying it didn't hurt the child at all. Wherein does the truth lie?
Frankly, I don't believe any child can be sexually molested and NOT be effected from it. Duh! They may learn to cope, they may learn to adapt, they may even take it as a later opprotunity to further improve their life, but saying there's no effect? Pshaw!
This made me pause to think about my own childhood. Quite lucky was I that molestation never occurred. But, bring it to something less damaging; my controlling nature. Is there an event from my childhood where I felt powerless, thus today I want to be the puppett master? Probably. And just as probably, there are instances where my parents put good, educational life lessons in my head that, without them today, I might be a serial killer. Who knows?
It just made for some interesting food for thought. How come one child can be disciplined and they grow up to see that as a benefit, yet another child saw their discipline as oppression.
It really makes me wonder about the influence I have on my stepkids, Maddison and Jordan. If I speak crossly to them once, will they be on a show, 20 years from now, talking about how their stepfather's behavior towards them caused them to go on a shooting spree? If you think too much on the effect adults can have on children, well, for me, it almost makes me impotent with fear. The last thing I'd ever, EVER want to do is hurt a child...but that's a risk every parent takes, isn't it?
What's my point? I dunno. I guess I don't really have one. In the end, this brain candy has just made me take a closer look at how I interact with my stepkids. There are enough issues in the world which can screw a person up without parents adding to them. Parents should be adults in every sense of the word: but especially emotionally. How does an adult take on that emotional maturity? By thinking through scenarios, leaving the adult him/herself out of the equation and, ultimately, determining what is the best for the child.
God, I'm like Dr. Phil or something, eh? Ha!
Some mental health experts like to think each child is born with a clean slate. I.E., their personality is created by experiences. Realistically, this makes little sense.
Still, I find it fascinating to explore people. Why am I the way I am? Why are you the way you are?
One of my negative traits is that I'm controlling. I want to have a precise and accurate and efficient plan for everything. Then, I want that plan carried out to a T. I get edgey with detours from that plan and often get angry if things don't happen the way they were intended. Grr. I hate this about myself.
Why am I this way? Well, I can't specifically point to instances from childhood, but I can certainly imagine it has something to do with my blindness and loss of sight at 18. See, I had zero control while I was hospitalized. I couldn't feed myself, wash myself, breathe on my own...even wipe myself. Zero control. So, when little bits of self control started coming back, I latched on with a death grip!
Secondly, in my life as a single blind dude living alone, I had to plan things pretty specifically. I'd stock up on groceries because, well, if I run out of something, getting to the store isn't quite as easy as it once was. I kept my home in a moderately precise order. If the remote control gets misplaced, I can't just glance down at the coffeetable to see it's still there, just two foot out of the way. Plus, as much as it pains me to admit it, there was a weird insecurity thing I had going on: I will be anal retentive and even more precise with my appearance. Never, EVER do I want people to say, "The dude has two different colored socks on. What do you expect? He can't see them anyway!" Yikes! Never!
So, a few nights ago I was watching that lovely show, "Intervention." Pathetic case of a 40-something mother of three who became an alcoholic. She really drank like a college freshman; with complete abandon, no control, acted ridiculous when she was wasted, made terrible decisions when shhe was drunk.
In an interview while she was sober, she(the alcoholic) told the story of a visit to the next door neighbor when she was a child. That neighbor molested her. When she told her parents, they swept it under the rug. Her mother(also interviewed) said, "Something happened, but it didn't harm her. There were no repurcussions from it or anything bad at all."
Say it with me folks...WTF? A child is sexually abused by an adult and there are no repurcussions? What planet are you living on, lady?
So, we have said alcoholic pointing to the molestation as a reason for her addiction. We have said alcoholic's mother saying it didn't hurt the child at all. Wherein does the truth lie?
Frankly, I don't believe any child can be sexually molested and NOT be effected from it. Duh! They may learn to cope, they may learn to adapt, they may even take it as a later opprotunity to further improve their life, but saying there's no effect? Pshaw!
This made me pause to think about my own childhood. Quite lucky was I that molestation never occurred. But, bring it to something less damaging; my controlling nature. Is there an event from my childhood where I felt powerless, thus today I want to be the puppett master? Probably. And just as probably, there are instances where my parents put good, educational life lessons in my head that, without them today, I might be a serial killer. Who knows?
It just made for some interesting food for thought. How come one child can be disciplined and they grow up to see that as a benefit, yet another child saw their discipline as oppression.
It really makes me wonder about the influence I have on my stepkids, Maddison and Jordan. If I speak crossly to them once, will they be on a show, 20 years from now, talking about how their stepfather's behavior towards them caused them to go on a shooting spree? If you think too much on the effect adults can have on children, well, for me, it almost makes me impotent with fear. The last thing I'd ever, EVER want to do is hurt a child...but that's a risk every parent takes, isn't it?
What's my point? I dunno. I guess I don't really have one. In the end, this brain candy has just made me take a closer look at how I interact with my stepkids. There are enough issues in the world which can screw a person up without parents adding to them. Parents should be adults in every sense of the word: but especially emotionally. How does an adult take on that emotional maturity? By thinking through scenarios, leaving the adult him/herself out of the equation and, ultimately, determining what is the best for the child.
God, I'm like Dr. Phil or something, eh? Ha!
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