Marcus Is On Twitter!

Yep, I'm only about a year (or more) late catching onto the Twitter craze...but now you can follow my microblogging on Twitter at:

www.Twitter.com/MarcusEngel

I'm still learning to use Twitter, so please be patient! Thanks, friends!

Feats of Valor

This weekend, while you're sitting around eating Cheetos and thinking about how you should be doing housework, reach down and grab the remote control. Tune into the Military Channel and watch the show called "Feats of Valor."

This is a documentary of three special vets and the heroic undertakings that show them to be outstanding representatives of our armed forces. Plus, the show was created by Cory and Becky Fisher, sis and bro-in-law of a good friend. I've seen some of Cory and Becky's other works and they do a fantastic job! Hope you'll tune in!

"Hold Onto These Moments As They Pass"

One of my very favorite songs ever is "A Long December" by Counting Crows. In that tune is a lyric I love so much...so much that I included it in "After This...":

"I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold onto these moments as they pass...."

Life is all about grabbing the moments in front of us. After all, once a moment is gone, it's gone for good. Therefore, live in that moment, feel every bit of happiness, sorrow, joy, anger-everything. These moments are what life is about...

This past weekend, we met my parents and sister and her family in Branson for a short vacation. I love Orlando...love the people, love the ease of travel, love the climate (most of the time)...but the thing I hate is being so far away from my family.

I have three step kids who are grown and out of the house. I got to parent them for a couple years, but they were teenagers when we came together. My sister, on the other hand, has three kiddos; Lauren, 7, Michaela, 4, and James just turned 1 this week.

In Branson, I got to know my nieces and nephew better...keeping in mind that I've never lived within 200 miles of them, but now, it's even harder to get together. This week, we got to witness James taking his first steps, got to play pet store with Michaela and got to watch Hannah Montana with Lauren-times I'll never forget (and I hope they won't, either)

As life moves on, I hope you'll take time to live in each moment, experience the world as a child does and hold onto your special moments as they pass...

Same Transportation, Same Location, Different Destination

Ever had one of those situations with someone about how to get somewhere? Not like choosing a route, but more a way to get to a destination in the more esoteric sorta way?

Lately, I've been involved with a situation in an organization to which I belong. We all want the same outcome, some folks just have a very staunch opinion of how to achieve that outcome. In a nutshell, we all want the same thing...the difference just lies in how to accomplish it.

On a recent flight, we were talking about this idea. Today, we took a flight from Branson, MO to Sanford, FL. There were approximately 150 people on board. Me, my wife and around 145 passengers boarded the plane, found our seats and sat back for the two hour flight. The flight attendants boarded early and had to work (including one flight attendant who was overheard complaining because another passenger dropped his cell phone in the toilet and wanted the flight attendant to reach in and pull it out.) Then, there were the pilots on the flight deck. They had to talk to the control tower, take off, pay attention to the on board computer, land the plane and taxi up to the jetway.

Where did we all end up? Sanford Intl. Airport. Did every person on the flight have the same experience getting there? Not hardly.

When working in any group, it soon becomes apparent how most everyone wants to accomplish some goal...it's just the difference of opinion on how to reach that goal.

Think of this next time you're working with others-what is the best, most efficient way to accomplish the mission? Then, realize your opinions aren't always going to align with those of others. Yet, if we want the same goal and we're all willing to work for it, that's a prime example of the give and take of every relationship...and the reason for the give and take to occur is simply because we all come from different backgrounds and personalities. I wish you luck in your inter-personal dealings...and your flights, too.

University of Kansas Medical Center

To kick off Nurses Week 2009, I had the privilege of presenting at the University of Kansas Medical Center in Kansas City, KS. Two programs to two separate groups of nurses; everyone from the newest R.N. to the top dog nurse managers – such an awesome experience!

Special thanks to Karen Wray, R.N. for inviting me to present to the KUMC nurses, and to Lisa Voohries for all the extra work she did to make our first trip to KUMC so memorable! Thanks, you guys...and have a fantastic nurses week!

Does Glassware Promote Drinking?

A high school in Pennsylvania has made the news for the prom favors chosen by the students. Seems the students all received a shot glass as a take-home souvenir from prom. Parents were upset that the glasses promoted alcohol consumption and were being distributed to minors. The principal (who signed the invoice for the favors) didn't realize what he was signing (or so he said), thinking it was just party favors.

First off, this is nothing new, even if it was on the national news. For the last 17 years, I've had a beer mug sitting in my cabinet that advertises one of my proms. But, did that glass promote alcohol consumption by my underaged classmates and I?

Frankly, we didn't need much promotion. The glass was much more a sign of the times rather than a prom favor. But did it send the wrong message? That's a tough question to answer.

Will we ever be able to eliminate underage drinking? Very doubtful. After all, where there's a will, there's a way. It's doubtful we'll ever be able to squelch the teenage desire to drink alcohol. It is, after all, something adults do and kids aren't allowed. (ADD story: I have a theory we should ban all books. Why? Because it'll make kids want to read! I volunteer MY book to be the first on the list to be banned! Simply put, it's human nature to want what we are not allowed.)

So, will we be able to stop the desire? No, but we can stop some of the culture around drinking. Flip through any catalog of prom favors and you'll quickly see it's not just beer mugs and shot glasses. Hurricane glasses, wine goblets, champagne flutes, scotch glasses, pilsners – if you can serve alcohol in it, you can get it emblazoned with your school's prom theme.

Simply put, I think it's shameful that companies sell this stuff. Will it directly cause minors to drink? Probably not. Does it help create the unnecessary link between celebration and alcohol consumption? Certainly. And does it give students paraphernalia they'll then display on their keepsake shelf at home, immediately recognizable as a device used to consume alcohol? Definitely.

And let's cut the crap...sure, you can drink water out of a wine glass, but no one does. And people don't get served Mountain Dew in beer mugs. And a shot glass is good for absolutely nothing except liquor.

Principal's part in this? Yeah, he/she holds some blame. As tight as school budgets are, as famous as teens are for trying to get away with pranks and jokes and all around mayhem, don't you think it'd be smart to take a little looky see before you sign your name on the dotted line?

Who wins in this situation? The parents. They've made their wishes known – they want their children to be sober and alcohol free. With all the bad rap parents get for throwing keggers and overnights for drunken minors, I was really glad to hear parents standing up for some safe actions of their kids.

Just Say "Thank You..."

This week, one of my best buds, Tim Hubbard, arrives home from his second tour of duty as an Army Reservist in Iraq. We haven't talked yet, but I'm so looking forward to catching up with him and getting re-acquainted after he's been gone the last year.

Just as Tim is returning home, I heard a quick snippet on the Dave Glover Show (97.1 FM in St. Louis) about a recent study done. Actually, less of a study and more of an opinion poll. The activity was, I believe, conducted by the University of Illinois on what our service men and women most want from the public when they return from overseas tours.

The vast majority of armed services personnel said they didn't want anything except to know their service is appreciated. In their words, "Just say 'Thank you.'"

Tim has been my buddy for nearly 15 years, so with him, it goes a little deeper than simply saying, "Thank you." He'll probably get a Vegas trip or something out of it! But that's just one thing I can do...what can you do?

We can all fulfill the request from our brave military men and women by simply saying, "Thank you..." I hope you will, too.

Will Lowering The Drinking Age Make Us As Moderate As Europeans?

Before I got married two years ago, I read everything I could get my hands on that dealt with parenting-specifically, parenting teenagers. And even more particularly, teenage stepchildren. So, bopping along through my list of potential reads, I came across a title that made me smile, “Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy” by Dr. Michael Bradley.

Ordered it, read it, LOVED IT! Gave me so much insight into the mindset of my new teenage stepkids…and I was really ashamed to admit I’d forgotten what it was like to be a teen. But his book put me right back into the mindset, the insecurities and the oddities of teenage life. I’ve since recommended this book to dozens, maybe hundreds, of parents with teenagers (hey, it’s the least I can do, right?)

Tonight, Dr. Mike Bradley’s E newsletter popped up in my in box. Felt this is good blog food for Drunk Driving Speaker since, well, it’s all about teens and drinking.

Let it never again be said that Europeans know moderation and Americans do not. Here’s Dr. Bradley’s article:


Dr. Mike Bradley's e-Newsletter
"Lowering the Drinking Age Will Save Teen Lives"
The dad who said this was a member of my audience in a talk about the alcohol abuse tsunami that has swept over America’s teenagers. Like the hundreds of other parents (along with many college presidents) who have said the same thing to me over the years, he was thoroughly convinced that allowing teens to drink alcohol at younger ages would reduce this problem: “We should let American kids drink like they do in Europe---you know, where kids grow up using alcohol from a young age so that they learn how to drink responsibly. European kids don’t see booze as a ‘forbidden fruit’ so they aren’t as attracted to it as teens are here. I know because I grew up in Spain and saw kids drinking wine at age four. They would just sip it. Everyone knows that kids in Europe don’t abuse alcohol like American teens.”
First, a disclaimer: I’m a myth junkie. I fervently hope that “Nessie” (the Loch Ness Monster) truly exists. And no one would love it more than I if one day it is proven that space aliens have been visiting our planet. I love those myths. They give me a welcome relief from the tedium of the day, an exciting respite where I can believe that magic is possible, that there are simple answers to complex issues, and that the experts don’t know what they’re talking about. I hate it when scientists rain on my fantasy parades by telling me that the odds of anyone having ever been abducted by space aliens are about the same as the odds of being abducted by space---well, you know what I mean. So I very much sympathize with folks who believe that handing Coors to kids will cure this epidemic of dangerous teen drinking. If that worked, I’d be the first to buy my son a keg and share a few with him. But science tells me that that “life-saving” act could well kill him.
According to those party-pooper researchers at the National Institutes of Health teenagers who start drinking at age 14 have a five-hundred-percent increase in the odds of becoming an addict than kids who wait until age 21 to imbibe. Teen brains are apparently “soft,” much more prone to the addictive effects of substances such as alcohol. Adolescent gray matter seems to get whacked much more powerfully by booze than does adult brain tissue. And alcohol is associated with everything bad that happens to teens to include car crashes, school failures, arrests, sexual assaults, unintended pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and that worst of all parental nightmares, suicide.
So what about those European adolescents who can legally drink anywhere from birth to age 16, who are given alcohol at early ages, and who “everyone knows” are drinking responsibly? Well, I’m afraid that they must be off swimming with Nessie or teleporting to Mars since we can’t seem to locate them on Earth. In comparing adolescent drinking patterns (via the 21 nation European School Survey Project on Alcohol and Other Drugs and the United States Monitoring the Future Survey), it becomes clear that American kids (ages 15-16) are pikers when it comes to the “boozing Olympics.” For example, while 39% of US teens admit to drinking in the past 30 days, they only tie for last place with Croatia. The adolescents in each of the other 20 European nations easily beat out the US with some nations doubling our “scores” of active teen drinkers (Greece and the UK tied at 74% with Denmark being the runaway “winner” at 81%). Well, you could argue, maybe those EU kids ar e drinking, but surely they’re drinking more responsibly, right? Wrong! US teens “lose” the party-‘til-you-puke event as well. While 24% of America’s kids binge drink, every other EU nation (except Portugal) handily beats us. Interestingly, Denmark again “wins” that binge drinking event with 61% of its teens regularly drinking themselves into oblivion. Clearly, providing kids with access to alcohol does not teach responsible drinking. It does teach life-threatening risk taking.
I love myths as much as you might but if you ever had to bet the ranch on Nessie surfacing or ET phoning home, would you bet for or against those events? Well, that same cold calculus must also hold true for the deadly myths about teen drinking. The brutal fact is that an astounding number of us parents promote adolescent alcohol madness by voluntarily providing this deadly substance to our kids based upon an insane belief in those killer myths. A third of drinking teens say that their parents hand them the booze. A fourth of our kids say that parents drink with them.
If we grownups all stop pushing this drug, will our teens stop drinking? No, but science also shows that our calm but firm opposition can limit the frequency and intensity of adolescent use. Few folks obey speed limits, but everyone knows that those silly signs and annoying tickets do limit our dangerous excesses. So when it comes time to bet the life of your child, avoid the loud “everyone knows” myths and instead trust the quiet science which yells, “Teenagers can’t drink.”
Dr. Mike Bradley
Dr. Bradley is available for speaking events on a variety of topics. Check out docmikebradley.com for more information and for excerpts from all of his books, including his latest release When Things Get Crazy with Your Teen: The Why, the How and What to Do NOW! (McGraw Hill, 2009).




Marcus Engel inspires audiences to achieve success - No Excuses!www.MarcusEngel.comMarcus@MarcusEngel.com314-852-4494

Happy Mother's Day?

Here we are, Mother’s Day! I’m one of the very, VERY fortunate ones who grew up with a mom who not only loved me unconditionally, but one who also supported any positive directions my life would take. I think my mom has always had the opinion about her kids, “I want whatever is best for my kids.”

A lot of people say that, right? Yet, a lot of parents hinder their kids by saying they want what’s best for the kid, but they end up trying to get what’s best for the parent. Like, not allowing the kid to have a social life so the kid will stay at home and keep the parent company. Or a parent who doesn’t want the kid to go away to college because the parent will miss the kid too much. To me, this type of immaturity in raising kids actually ends up harming the child…and I’m so, SO glad I never had to deal with that.

I was never made to feel guilty because my dreams and desires took me away from my parents home. I’ve never had to feel angst and shame because I missed being at Mom’s beckon call on her birthday or mother’s day. Life just doesn’t always allow for me to be everywhere I WANT to be-but I’ve got a Mom who truly wants me to live my life. And that, unfortunately, means sometimes she doesn’t get to see her kids on mother’s day. Like, today.

The other thing I’ve found about my mom is that she truly appreciates just the opportunity of being a mom. She has two adult, healthy, happy successful kids who she doesn’t have to spend extra time worrying about. Of course, she’s a mom, so she’ll worry like any mother, but not undually so.

This morning, I looked at MarkDewalle.com, the blog ran by my favorite nurse, Barb Dewalle, who many of you’ve read about in “After This…” Barb’s 24 year old son, Mark, passed away due to a rare form of cancer in 2007. Can any of us imagine being a mom on mother’s day when we also have a child who is deceased? That’s gotta be really, really tough….

Plus, I’ve just accepted a new position on the state advisory board for Mothers Against Drunk Driving-Florida. What is the whole reason MADD exists? Moms who’ve had the unnecessary loss of a child. Again, what must mother’s day be like for these moms?

My mom nearly lost me back in ’93 in that horrible crash. Do we tend to appreciate things more when they’re almost snatched away? You betcha…and I think that’s something my mom has never forgotten. And from that, I benefit…and I hope she benefits, too, by seeing a well-adjusted adult child living the life he wants to lead.

So this Mother’s Day 2009, I hope you’ll spare a thought and some good energy for moms who’ve lost children…and I hope you’ll take some inspiration from my mom who truly wants what is best for her kids, too.

Livin' In The 'Used To'

Last night, I attended a meeting with some pretty heated discussions. The reason doesn't matter, it was the typical inefficient meeting with people bantering back and forth about the best way to get things accomplished-never realizing that their arguing is preventing ANYTHING from being accomplished.

At one point, a question was posed, "Why are we doing it like this?" To which an answer was given, "That's what's required." The retort: "Well, it didn't used to be like that."

(Insert best "cut the BS comment I've heard in a while):

"We're not livin' in the 'used to be.' We're living in the now and want to get it right for the future."

Love it!

Do you ever find yourself living in the 'used to be"? When you're pining for the "old days" or how things have formerly been done? To me, constantly looking back means you can't get a good view of the future. It's also something (I feel) makes you get old real, real quick.

We can live in the "used to be", or we can face reality that now is...which would you rather embrace?

Thanks For The Birthday Wishes, Friends!

Yep, the big 34 came and went yesterday...no longer can I be the double trace year...but alas, it's better than the allternative, right?

Just want to say THANK YOU to all the friends who sent Happy Birthday E mails, Facebook posts, and calls-you guys rock!

And even though this sounds a little like a used car sales pitch, I did a little contest via Facebook. Around noon yesterday, I posted my status which was a little something like this:

Marcus is celebrating his 34th birthday! So, in celebration, the first ten people who send me a private message WITH your mailing address will get a free copy of my book. Ready...set...GO!

In less than five minutes, I'd had over a dozen messages with addresses. The winners were two friends from Detroit Country Day, an old buddy from Camp Mo-Val, a MADD friend from West Palm, a (hopefully soon) client from Virginia and another person from Jersey who's name I know, but can't remember how we know one another. All in all, an awesome way to distribute some books to folks and have a little fun doing it!

Thanks again, everyone, for making birthday #34 so awesome!