Who'd Have Thunk I Could Have Written Three Books?

Yeah, back in the day, I wasn't much of a reader. I'm talking middle and high school. But, I guess once the state doesn't require you to go to school any more, it makes you want to learn. Or, at least, that's the case with me.

Yet, as a middle or high schooler, I never, EVER could have imagined I'd some day be an author. Much less write a second book. And now?

I'm ecstatic to announce the release of my third book, "I'm Here: Compassionate Communication In Patient Care."

My second book focused on health care professionals, "I'm Here" is autobiographical and written in the same style as, "Stethoscope." If you've read either "After This..." or my first health care book, "The Other End Of The Stethoscope: 33 Insights For Excellent Patient Care", I think you're just going to love, "I'm Here."

To get your very own copy, visit the store on www.MarcusEngel.com at:

http://www.MarcusEngelProducts.com

Thanks so much for your support of my writing, for taking a look at this blog and simply for taking an interest in my experiences!

Disappointing Differences In Dexter?

I freaking love the Showtime series, Dexter. I've read all Jeff Lindsay's "Dexter" books and, for the first time ever, a show is better than the books...and the books are awesome!

Here's the synopsis:

Dexter is a blood splatter analyst who works in forensics for Miami Metro Police Department. With cop blood in his own veins, Dexter is the expert's expert when it comes to blood splatters at a murder. He can draw a virtual picture, simply looking at the angles in which the blood has been thrown from the victim's wound. Kinda cool.

Here's the thing, though: Dexter himself is a serial killer. Crazy as this sounds, though, he only kills bad guys. Serial rapists, neo Nazis, pedophiles...those who've continually hurt others, yet who've managed to escape the law. Dexter follows a strict code taught by his cop father: The Code of Harry. In essence, it allows ONLY for the killing of guilty individuals. As you watch the show (which has fabulous actors, BTW) you really begin to root for Dexter. Then, I have to kinda catch myself...I'm rooting for someone's murder? Well, sure I can get caught up in the moment...and it's all fictional on the TV screen, right?

Well, in the DVD case of season #3 of Dexter, there's a coupon for products based on Dexter, including jewelry with tiny blood splatters, as well as a necktie with police tape and blood droplets. Hey, I like Dexter, but...is this going too far?

See, I have to throw some empathy out here. There are thousands of Americans murdered every year. If I were the parent of a murdered child, I don't think I could enjoy watching Dexter. And I wouldn't have to because that's the power of the remote control. If it offends you, turn the channel. Or, better yet, turn it off. But, if I buy a necktie and have a long conversation with someone while wearing said tie, do they have the right to be offended? Frankly, I think they do. Could it feel like belittling their loss? Or worse, glorifying it?

This is kind of how I feel when I've gone to some comedy clubs. Let's face it, at most comedy clubs, it's a comedian trying to get a start in the entertainment biz. By all means, do so. And by all means, get laughs however you can. Yet, because comedy clubs most often are just bars with a stage, as you can expect, there's lots of drinking going on. Well, when the audience is drunk, the comedian is on pretty safe territory to do drinking jokes. Fair enough. Yet, on more than one occassion, I've heard those drinking jokes go into drinking and driving jokes. I don't really find drunk driving so funny.

I realize this is "my issue." It's hard to be benign enough AND funny enough to stay in the limelight. But, if a comedian got up and started making serial killer jokes, yet the audience had members who'd had a family member murdered, no one would think it's out of bounds for those people to be offended and walk out.

I'm an opinionated person. I know that, from time to time, my viewpoints are going to piss some folks off (see? Someone probably got offended by my use of the word, "piss.") I just want to be cognisant enough to know if I'm offensive. And I hope others would be, too. And because of this desire, I won't wear a tie promoting a serial killer...even IF he's fictious and only kills bad guys.

I'm Here

One week, folks!

In just seven days, we'll be releasing my newest book to the public. "I'm Here: Compassionate Communication In Patient Care" will be available for purchase at MarcusEngel.com and at several of the major on line book retailers.

Be sure to check Facebook and Twitter for book giveaways leading up to the release!

BTW, July 1 will be the three year anniversary of my marriage to "I'm Here"'s editor, the lovely and talented Marvelyne. Help us celebrate by getting yourself a copy on release day!

Slaid

Please don't expect anything real profound this post, K?

Several years ago, a buddy turned me onto a Texas singer/songwriter named Slaid Cleaves. Love, LOVE this guy's music. I, in turn, have turned many of my friends onto Slaid, too.

Well, my great friends, Bryce & Nicole Taylor, live in Slaid's backyard (almost literally) in Austin, Texas, the center of the live music world. Recently, Slaid closed the show at the Kerrville Folk Festival, a place that has become of mythical proportion to yours truly and somewhere I hope to be next June when it happens again!

Anyway, Bryce and Nicole grabbed Slaid's latest CD for me and even gt him to autograph it! Such a thoughtful gesture and something I LOVE! If you dig singer/songwriter folk with an edgey flare, check out:

www.Slaid.com

Or put it into Pandora...I know not a single person who hasn't heard Slaid's music and fallen in love. Hope you will, too!

My Old Man

John Prine is one of my favorite artists. Folk music, nothing visual (duh!)

Prine's best friend was Steve Goodman, another folkie best known for writing the song, "The City Of New Orleans."

This morning, I got re-acquainted with a Steve Goodman song performed by Prine that I haven't heard for a couple years, "My Old Man." If you want a tear jerker of a song, check it out.

When I finished listening to it, my wife asked me what most appealed to me about this tune. First off, I think men aren't usually real huggy huggy emotional types. We're known for being the more reserved of the genders where emotions are concerned. So, I kinda like all songs sung about dads and sons.

This one, though, is an adult son talking about his recently departed father. The lyric that sticks out most to meis this:

"And I'd give up all I own to hear what he said when I wasn't listening to my old man"

Maybe it's because I'm older and a little wiser, or maybe it's because I have stepkids and a few others who've become my kids, but I really identify with this lyric.

My young life was never filled with yelling matches with my father. Anyone who knows Phil Engel knows he's way too happy go lucky and laid back to waste much energy on arguing. I wish I were more like him in that way.

I guess because my kids are stepkids and I didn't have to raise them from infancy that I don't totally relate to being a father. I married Taylor, Jordan and Maddison's mom when they were all teenagers. By that time, all the dirty diapers and temper tantrums were over (mostly).

I guess I hope my stepkids will listen to some of my guidance now. But, if they don't? No biggie. I wish I would have listened to my dad more growing up, but I think he knew I was going to have to make a lot of my own mistakes before I'd learn. And I know that for my kids, too. Nowadays, I want to be sure I'm also listening to my kids...if I can listen to my Dad, and still be open to listening to my kids, then I think that'll help me be more the kind of person I want to be: someone who's compassionate, caring and a good listener. I guess that's stuff I learned from My Old Man. Thanks, Dad...

One Crazy Table

Last night, we went out to eat with my father in law for Dad's Day. He's got a real quick wit and is a warehouse full of corny jokes...and this is usually displayed to the wait staff by the time the menus are passed out.

Last night, as our water was being served, he said to the waitress, "You're going to find that you're serving a bunch of crazy people..." This got a laugh from all of us, including the waitress.

The funny thing is, if anyone had walked up at different moments during the meal, they certainly WOULD have thought of us as crazy. In the couple hours we sat there, conversation touched upon the oil spill in the Gulf, black helicopters, UFOs, Pentecostal preachers from the 1970s, NPR,blogging, weapons and a slew of other topics. If a waiter or waitress swooped at any moment while one of these topics was being discussed, they could have very well thought all six of us WERE crazy.

Okay, now, singular focus back on yours truly. My wife and I were the first to arrived. We asked for a table for six and after we were seated, the hostess began placing menus and utensils around the table. I sat down into an uncomfortable wooden straightback chair and knew it was going to be a long night for me. See, due to recent surgeries, I still have a tender surgical incision between my navel and waistline. My jeans were pressing into the jeans and it was hard to get comfortable. I turned to my wife and quietly said, "I think I'm going to have to unbutton my pants."

Thing is? The hostess, unbeknownst to me, was still placing menus and utensils down...and apparently I hadn't spoken quietly enough. Once the rest of our family showed up, the wait staff, due to my gaff, already knew we were a bunch of crazies!

And, of course, I'm just kidding about the crazies part. Yet, if you walked past our table while someone said "UFOs", you might think we were crazy.

What do we learn from this? First and foremost that unless you sat there throughout the meal with six highly intelligent people, you wouldn't get an idea of our sanity. I've been very guilty in the past of thin slicing and pidegeon holing a person based on an initial reaction to a statement. This isn't fair nor accurate.

Realize that first impressions aren't always accurate. They're impressions; nothing more. They carry weight, sure, but if they are looked at as the gospel truth, that's really not fair.

Just take a little time before making a judgement...no matter if that determination turns out to be crazy or not!

Go Ask Alice...Who Her Friends Are

K, so it's spring of 1989 and I'm taking my first health course. It's 8th grade, I'm in Mr. Brake's class at Montgomery County R-II Middle School and I'm completely fascinated by sex ed. Who wasn't, after all?

After sex, what's the natural progression? Drugs! So, we're learning about booze and pot and what's the diff in a stimulant and a depressant, just an overview of drugs. They're bad, Mmm K?

I very vividly remember a book being referenced in class called, "Go Ask Alice." It's kinda a classic in the young adult reader category to describe the horrors of drug abuse. Well, in 8th grade, I wanted nothing to do with reading. Kinda the same through high school, until my senior year when I finally started to see some of the attraction of literature. Then? A few months later, I was a certified bibliophile. And by this time, I'm in my late teens and, hey, "young adult" means kids-not me. Thus, I never took the time to read, "Go Ask Alice"...until now.

I'm older, slightly wiser and more experienced with the world. Plus, now that I have kids, I read this book from the perspective of a parent. Last night, while working my way into Alice's drug world, I came across a quote I thought made an awesome amoung of sense:

"Real friendship can't be built on sympathy and a hanging on to someone just to keep from drowning. It has to be built on mutual likes and abilities and, yes, even backgrounds."

Before I got married, all I had were my friendships. I was unaccustomed to what the relationship of marriage truly was. I mean, we all have examples, but until you've been in a marriage, it's all seen from outside the fishbowl.

I've always been someone to nurture friendships. Through social media, that's even easier these days. But before I got married, your friends are your friends and, well, that's whatcha got.

It wasn't until after I had a ring on my finger did I start to understand that some of my bachelor relationships weren't necessarily built on mutual likes and interests but on sympathy or, well, just because I didn't know any better how to have healthy relationships with all friends. Heck, it's entirely possible that people were friends with ME due to sympathy and hanging on to keep from drowning, as the quote says.

Now that I'm in y mid 30s, happily married and always striving to have healthy relationships, I'm a little more likely to let some relationships go. Why? I've moved to another fishbowl and looked in on friendships. If they're not mutually beneficial, if they're unhealthy in any emotional or psychological way...screw 'em. Life is too short to stay in relationship with anyone that isn't healthy.

Who knew the "young adult" could have such insight?

Soon To Be Tweeting Again

Not only have I been lax on blogging, but also on tweeting. However, thanks to my buddy, Ron Graham's suggestion (BTW, visit Ron at www.accessability.blogspot.com), I've learned of a Twitter client specifically created for users of screen readers called Qwitter. A blind developer helping make Twitter more accessible...awesome! See ya on Twitter!

The Haps As Of Late

When I was a pledge of Kappa Sigma back in the spring of '97, my fellow pledge brothers and I were encouraged to get interviews with the active guys in the house. This was little more than getting their basic info of hometown, pledge pin number, pledge class, birthdate, that sorta stuff. Often times, the active brother would give a quote. One of the most memorable I heard was (pardon my French here): Excuses are like assholes...everyone has one and they all stink.

Granted, this ain't exactly profound, but I've gotta say, it's made me own up to a lot more of my shortcomings rather than rattling off some lame excuse!

So, as not to give you said lame excuse, I'll share why you've seen very few EE posts over the last couple months. From the last post date and for the next six weeks, I have little excuse. I was traveling, I was busy, but more than anything, I just failed to get 'er done.

Then, from May 5 until today, my excuse is a lot more legit...

On May 5, I went in for surgery at Missouri Baptist Hospital in St. Louis, MO. Why, since I live in Florida, would I go back to my hometown of St. Louis for surgery? Simple: There will never, EVER be a plastic surgeon who will work on me from the neck up other than Dr. Timothy Jones. Dr. Jones did my first facial reconstruction nearly 17 years ago and every reconstructive operation on me since. And, he's in STL. Which means I'll travel so as to keep my favorite surgeon's results!

Upon Dr. Jones' reccomendation, I was also having some hernia repairs done by Dr. Omar Guerra. These two awesome docs tag teamed on yours truly for a mere 12 hour operation on May 5.

A few days post op, it was pretty obvious that something just wasn't right. After X rays and CT scans, we learned that due to a lengthy surgery and the shifting of some abdominal scar tissue, my bowels were obstructed. Another surgery(kinda emergency since it started close to midnight) and another week of hospitalization while my guts kicked back into gear.

Discharged from Mo Bap and came home to Orlando...where I failed to progress. After several days of hurting and digressing, we went to a nearby hospital where it was determined I had ANOTHER bowel obstruction; this one due to a raging infection at the incision site from the last obstruction repair. Another surgery, another week in the hospital and I came home, still on IV atibiotics b/c the infection was an antibiotic resistant bit of nastiness.

So, after roughly a month of hospitalization and some extra time with homebound recovery, I am just now getting back to normal. All docs have suggested I spend the next month or so laying kinda low, so even E mail for this summer may be sporadic. Still, I'll try to get some posts up now that I'm totally capable of getting back in the office.

Thanks for understanding why EE has been so inactive...I'll try not to continue this habit! Hey, no one wants to stink!