Ever Been Ripped A New One?

I have. Though, come to think of it, I don't know exactly what "one" is! Just today, in fact, did some ripping occur...

I'm a member of several different collegiate associations. I use these organizations to help me market my speaking services to the universities and colleges that most frequently request them. As an associate member in these orgs, I am allowed to send a limited number of unsolicited contacts to other members every year. I usually go by the 2, 2 and 2 rule: 2 calls, 2 E mails or 2 pieces of hard copy mail. How often? Spread out over two semesters.

So, today I was doing my marketing and working through a list of fraternity and sorority advisors. I try to make my personality come across in my E marketing pieces. One of the biggest compliments I've ever received is that my books and speaking services should carry an R rating. R for Real. I don't sugar coat things, I am totally myself and I'm real. Audiences are too savvy these days for any speaker to think they can get away with playing a character. Just be real. People respond to real people. And I'm one of them.

Anywho, in my E marketing piece, I posed the question: Would you like to work with a speaker who does't suck, isn't a diva and will leave your students with an unforgettable message?"

I received a response saying, "I don't want to work with a speaker who's sales pitch includes the phrase 'who doesn't suck.'" We're organizations of values and leadership. Please remove me from your mailing list.

I keep a running list of those who asked to be removed, and this person's name/address immediately went on it. I respect the privacy of those I mail. But, since I have a blog, and I'm still a little hot under the collar about his response, I'm going to vent. Here goes:

First, it's anyone's choice who they want to work with. I choose my business partners and everyone has that right. So does this guy. Still, here's what I don't think he gets:

Those of us who work in fraternity and sorority life have, for years, tried to dismantle the image set by "Animal House." We've spent a great deal of time basing our fraternal organizations around the motto and positive teachings of each organization. It's not just wild parties, drunken orgies and Belusi-ish antics. I believe that, I live that, I want others to know the qualities and values of these organizations.

But, here's the question...does using the word "suck" denote...well, anything? I have to imagine that every IFC and/or Pan Hellenic meeting this person advises uses that word at least once. And I' bet anything the members of the organizations involved do, too. And, I'd even go out on a limb to suggest that this gent, too, has some words in his vocabulary which others might find objectionable.

To me, my words show I'm real. That's how I talk. Both on the platform and off. And if someone doesn't like it? Well, that's their perogative. But to insinuate that to use the word "suck" somehow devalues the quality and value of fraternities and sororities? Brother, you're way, way off base.

At the end of the day, I took note of his concern. I disagree, but his point is noted. And his name and address are now on my "Do Not Mail" list. And I've deleted his little rant. I'll sleep fine tonight knowing I'm still me. I hope he will, too.

Is President Obama A Muslim?

A few days ago I was talking with an idiot. I don’t use that term lightly, but in this case, it’s appropriate.

Last week, a study came out that said 20% of Americans don’t know what religion President Obama follows. A similar study was released that stated 1 in 5 Americans believe our President is a Muslim.

Here’s the thing: How do we know what anyone believes? Simply put, we cannot. We can watch one’s actions, listen to their words and statements, but we can never truly know what is in another person’s heart, can we?

Think of it this way…

If I tell you I’m a Christian, simply based on my statement, you have no reason to believe (or not believe) me, right? If I tell you I’m a Christian and you know I go to church twice per week, the case for my faith is bolstered. If I tell you I’m a Christian, you witness me going to church and I act in the way you believe Christians act, again, more fodder for my claim.

But, could I be lying? Could I be going into a church but not worshipping? Could I be faking my actions? Yes, yes and yes. You will have no idea what my true, heart held beliefs are.

So, back to the Obama/Muslim thing. The idiot and I were discussing these new surveys that came out. Having 20% of Americans believe our national leader is a different religion than he espouses is pretty significant. The idiot says, “Oh yeah, I guarantee he’s a Muslim. I just know he is…”

I stopped, gave him my (as my wife calls it) the famous Marcus “WTF?” look. I posed this question to him…

1. You believe our President gets down on his knees five times per day and prays to the east to give glory to the Muslim god, Allah?
2. You think our president believes the main tenant of Islam; that there is one God, Allah, and that Mohammad is his prophet?
3. You believe that President Obama’s membership in the United Church of Christ (remember old Reverend Wright?) is nothing more than a farce?

The idiot begins back peddling and talks about the mosque at ground zero, President Obama’s bloodlines and heritage and how he’s sympathetic to the Islamic faith. Fair enough…but none of that makes him a Muslim. It simply shows our President is tolerant of the Muslim faith. But does that make him a Muslim? It does not.

IS President Obama a Muslim? I don’t know. Neither do you. Neither does the idiot.

I do know this. President Obama is a Democrat. His actions suggest a belief in tolerance of other faiths. Traditionally, Muslims and Jews have been at polar opposites; going so far as to kill one another on a annual, weekly even daily basis. There are a significant number of folks who claim to be Jewish in the Democratic party; people who are political allies of President Obama. If he’s a Muslim, wouldn’t these Jewish politicians be his arch enemies?

The idiot, like most idiots, starts talking before thinking things over. To state one’s belief is a step. To claim that belief to be undeniably true is a bigger step. To guarantee it is a third (and bigger…and stupider) step.

Before forming a belief system, and definitely before stating your beliefs and claiming their truth, think. It seems that people who don’t think typically raise their voices the loudest. And then others who don’t think begin to follow those ways because they, too, haven’t took the time to think things out rationally.

Will this ever change? Doubtful. The world has been saturated with people who believe ridiculous things since day #1. Yet, I don’t want to be one of these people. I want to see what’s behind the curtain before making claims I may have to retract later. I want to have a well thought out reason for my beliefs. Why? To win an argument or discussion? No. Simply because I want to have an accurate view of the world. Not an opinion based on short sided thinking.

What about you? Do you speak before thinking? Do you espouse claims that don’t pass the sniff test? Do you believe what others say, simply because they have the bully pulpit? I’ve been this guy in the past…but now, I’ll politely listen. And I’ll internally think. And I’ll come to the most logical, rational set of beliefs; not one that I buy into just because someone else does.

Man's Search For Meaning

Back at my freshman year at Missouri State, I had to read Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning" for a religion 101 class. Did I read it? Yes. Do I remember it? Very, very little.

Yet, it's one of those books that ranks up there with, oh, the Bible, and Why Bad Things Happen To Good People, etc. Such valueable information, all presented with such horrid reality from the holocaust that, if nothing else, it leaves the reader knowing how good we have it.

Ya know, though, I don't think that lowest common denominator was Frankl's goal; i.e., that people feel good b/c they're not in a concentration camp. Rather, he's trying to show his philosophy that his reason for survival was partially credited by his desire to see his wife again and have hisschool of thought known by the world.

When Frankl talked about this (BTW, I just read the book again over the last few days), I kinda related to him. When I do speeches or write articles or books or whatever, my goal isn't that the listener/reader walk away going, "Man, with everything Marcus has been through, I've got nothing to complain about!" Rather, I'm hopeful that the elements I put into practice to get through my extreme adversity can be applicable to the life of the reader/listener. Dig?

Because of my desire to be known for my motto and philosophies, I paid particular attention to those of Frankl. Still, how can you read aboput the horrors of Auschweitz and not be grateful to live in 21st century America?

While I often give book reccomendations to my blog readers, this is one of those books of paramount importance. I feel like our world would be better off if everyone at a sixth grade level or above would read, "Man's Search For Meaning." That's a pretty big position...and one I don't take lightly. The info therein is just so, so relevant to the lives of everyone who has ever asked the question, "What's my place in this world?"

When You Don't Know What To Feel

My Facebook news feed is going crazy with excitement and angst. Why? Because so many of my FB friends are headed off to college for the first time.

Do you remember the first time you left home? Whether it was to college, out to your own place, moved in with your significant other, whatever, that's a big experience almost everyone has.

When I first left for college, I remember being out of my gourd with anxiety and excitement. It was a whole, big new world and I was pumped to dive into it. Then, when I did, it wasn't quite what I was expecting. It was a new world, true, but it was pretty lonely at first. Moving nearly 200 miles away from my best froiends, I was in a new environment, knew hardly anyone, just a whole slew of newness...and I didn't especially like it. I saw reunions of other Missouri State students; friends excited to see each other after months of being apart. I, on the other hand, knew no one.

That's the bad thing. The good thing was that it didn't take too long to start making friends-some of which I still have to this day. But those first days at school? Yeah, sad, lonely, scared and intimidated.

For my young friends who are headed off to college for the first time, take it from a veteran: give it some time. The newness will be gone in a short time. You'll make friends, experience new things and, soon, it'll just be your life. To get to that point, though, you've gotta dive in head first. I encourage and challenge you to put yourself out there. Walk up to people to make new friends, go somewhere uninvited, smile, experience. You'll be glad you did.

One Foot In Front Of The Other

Have you seen "The Drop"? If not, check it out at:

www.TheDropMovie.com

This is the seven minute short film we created earlier this year for a film contest. That gave us the itch to create a full length feature film based on my autobio, "After This..." For years, folks have told me "After This..." would make a great movie. And, having heard this so many times, I finally started to believe it.

Lately, we've shifted this deisre into high gear. No promises yet on if this is going to happen, but we're sure pushing forward!

I recently spoke to a gentleman in the film industry who does budget breakdowns for full length features. Of course, being a businessman, my mind is constantly fluttering around on how we can make this film, market it, make it a huge hit. When I started speaking with the budget breakdown guy, he said simply, "There are other people who need to worry about the marketing, Marcus. Your job is to just keep the passion for the project. If you keep putting one foot in front of the other, that passion will get this movie into production."

I marinated on that a while and decided he's right. While I can help with marketing, etc., my biggest gift is simply having the story. Done. And how much of life's successes is simply because someone keeps putting one foot in front of the next?

If I were super sensitive, I'd have given up on this project already. The first time someone told me how much it costs just to edit a film, I'd have been out. The first time I heard about how few films are bought, I'd have given up. But, we haven't yet. And we're going to keep knocking on doors, meeting with folks and pushing forward until we've exhausted every possibility. And then? We're going to start on a different route...but now? I'm content to take that budgeter's advice and keep putting one foot in front of the next.

Am I really Admitting To This on EE?

Okay, gotta give some back story before making this admission...

I play acoustic guitar. One of my biggest joys in life is performing live. Not doing my speaking thang (though that's a lot of fun, too), but having my 12 string Taylor on my lap, sitting on a bar stool with a mic in front of my face. In that position, you'l find me blaring out sub-par Johnny Cash, Springsteen, Tom Petty and John Prine tunes.

Since relocating to Florida a few years back, I haven't pursued playing out much; what we in the biz call "gigging." Have done a few acoustic sets, but nothing like I was doing in STL. Anyway, it's something I want to get back into.

As avid of a reader as I am, I'm currently reading a book you would never, in a million years, guess I'd be reading. The book? "The Girl's Guide To Rocking" by Jessica Hopper.

Why is a 35 year old man reading this? Mainly because there's actually good info in there. Granted, I'm not a teenage chick (who the book is aimed at), but good info nonetheless. Like, how to book gigs, the different styles of guitars (taught me a few things) and a lot about recording (something I really haven't done)

Still, the thing I dig most about this book is the self empowerment. Hopper gives a story of some girls who formed a band and, not being old enough to play in bars, they asked a local pizza joint if they could play there. Their friends came, bought pizza, so the owner asked the girls to come back the next weekend. This grew and grew until the girl band was booking other gigs. Finally, they got to big to play the pizzeria...and they were just barely high schoolers.

Hopper encourages readers to go out, look under every stone, ask tons of questions and, if you're persistent, you'll get what you want. I love this! And I love this message delivered to girls in such a positive, yet still rock and roll, way.

If we wait around for opportunity to come knocking, well, sometimes it will. More often, though, we're spending our lives just, well, waiting. I don't live like that. I won't live like that. And after reading Hopper's book, I doubt too many readers will want to live like that, either.

Resetting With Help From The Sandman

Do you ever get stressed out? Of course-we all do. How do you deal with the pressure?

When I get stressed, I tend to get into a funk. I.E., I don't tend to be stressed, take a few deep breaths and de-stressify myself. Instead, I get anxious and keep that anxiety around for many hours. This eats at me, I know it's not healthy and yet? It's really tough to change. Not that I'm not trying, but it's become my pattern and habit.

I was speaking with a friend recently about this. Her suggestion? Go to bed. And early. Write the day off as a bad day, go to bed early and tell yourself that when you wake up in the morning, yesterday is over. Then, specifically mae the choice NOT to let yesterday become today.

Sound advice. And ya know? It works.

Next time you're stressed, do the natural thing (after screaming at your spouse, I mean!)...just go to bed. The most natural way for the body to heal is sleep. And let's face it...stress is an injury. It hurts our immune system, our digestive system, our nervous system. It just sucks. Sleep...and when you wake up, it's a new day.