There is nothing, NOTHING quite like New York City! And even if it's a cliché', I've gotta say - I LOVE NEW YORK!
A couple weeks ago, I made my seemingly annual summer trip to the Big Apple to speak at Columbia University. Only this time, instead of just bringing my wife, Marvelyne, I also drug along my parents.
My dad was celebrating his 70th birthday the day we arrived and I wanted his first trip to the city to be one he'd never forget. And I'm pretty sure we accomplished that - and more!
Within six hours, Dad had taken his first limo ride, tasted the best soul food on earth, mastered the subway, walked thru Times Square and, of course, caught a glimpse of some of NYC's "colorful" people. Not a bad time for a self-admitted hillbilly from Missouri!
While riding the D train uptown, we had another experience that, to me, just sums up New York. A guy stood up on the subway and, with all the finesse of a master orator, began speaking to the passengers.
"My name is BLUE and I'm a local New York City poet. I've written four books, most recently, 'Don't Beat Your Children Or They'll Turn Out Like Me.' It includes one of my favorites, 'A Good Way To Tell That You're In A Bad Neighborhood Is When You See A Lot Of Churches.'"
We all had a laugh at the titles which, of course, was his intent. But, really, BLUE is a serious businessman. I mean, he's taken the time to write, edit, publish, and advertise at least four books. He has a website up and running. And instead of relying on the conventional methods of selling, he's pounding the pavement (errr riding the subway) promoting his art AND giving passengers some entertainment.
Being an author, I'm often asked about how to write a book. Sooooo many people have a dream, a thought, a vision of writing - but don't know where to begin. I know that feeling very well! Yet, when people get down to brass tacks and learn how much time, energy and money it'll take to get the book out there, they often decide to leave it as a dream. The investment seems to much if there's not a sure fire major publishing contract in the offering.
BLUE is NOT one of these people! Not everyone can get their books in bookstores and available to a national audience. (Actually MOST people can't.) It doesn't really matter if the quality of writing surpasses Shakespeare - and the story line is the next Harry Potter. If no one knows about it, it's as if it doesn't exist at all.
The thing that so impressed me about BLUE is how he's out there, not living on a dream, but doing what he can to make that dream happen. He may not have a bazillion dollar advance with a major publisher, but he's got a gift for being in front of an audience and he uses that gift every day on the train. He exemplifies the "Change the things you can" message my audiences witness - and I'm proud I got to witness his art in its natural environment.
With all the economy woes and corporate troubles, everyone seems really focused on just getting by, day to day. Who can follow a dream when there's rent due, food to buy, debt to pay down? There's this whole practical side of life to contend with, right? I'm big on reality and doing what needs to be done to survive. I also know this: if we wait for every detail to be perfect - we will probably never see our dreams become reality. Why? Because perfection doesn't exist.
Instead of waiting for the perfect time, scenario, etc., look around. See what there is that you CAN do... right now. When we change our life, touch our community, help our neighbor, follow our dream - then we can really see how our individual actions can help change the world. P.S. And if you want to learn more about BLUE's poetry, check him out on FaceBook: Brad Bathgate
Monday, August 03, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Do We All Need To Be Part Of Something?
Last week I was listening to Springsteen. Surprise, surprise-I listen to The Boss about every day.
Yeah, I'm an E Street Junkie, no doubt, but I also think Springsteen has some lyrics that are just undeniably true. I take those lyrics, apply them to my life and...voila! A new EE post!
This time, it was "Hungry Heart." In this famous tune, Bruce sings, "I don't care what anybody says, there ain't nobody who wants to be alone."
I know a couple of confirmed bachelors who would disagree with this...but I know a whole, WHOLE lot more folks who are represented by these words. The need for human relationships is one of our strongest desires. I think we all desire to have relationships with depth, meaning and truth.
So, a couple days later, I was at the Kappa Sigma Grand Conclave. Joining Kappa Sigma (which I did back in the summer of 1997) is still one of the best choices I've ever made. To speak at Conclave in front of 1000 of my brothers was truly awesome; personally AND professionally.
While at Conclave, it was cool to walk the lobby and halls with guys I'd never before met, yet those who've been through an identical experience. That common ground gives us an automatic relationship; as it does for every fraternity member.
Whether it's a deep interpersonal relationship like Bruce is singing about, or it's a wider net of brotherhood, we all have the need for human connection. If we can help others realize this desire, it helps put us one step closer to our own goals.
Yeah, I'm an E Street Junkie, no doubt, but I also think Springsteen has some lyrics that are just undeniably true. I take those lyrics, apply them to my life and...voila! A new EE post!
This time, it was "Hungry Heart." In this famous tune, Bruce sings, "I don't care what anybody says, there ain't nobody who wants to be alone."
I know a couple of confirmed bachelors who would disagree with this...but I know a whole, WHOLE lot more folks who are represented by these words. The need for human relationships is one of our strongest desires. I think we all desire to have relationships with depth, meaning and truth.
So, a couple days later, I was at the Kappa Sigma Grand Conclave. Joining Kappa Sigma (which I did back in the summer of 1997) is still one of the best choices I've ever made. To speak at Conclave in front of 1000 of my brothers was truly awesome; personally AND professionally.
While at Conclave, it was cool to walk the lobby and halls with guys I'd never before met, yet those who've been through an identical experience. That common ground gives us an automatic relationship; as it does for every fraternity member.
Whether it's a deep interpersonal relationship like Bruce is singing about, or it's a wider net of brotherhood, we all have the need for human connection. If we can help others realize this desire, it helps put us one step closer to our own goals.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Columbia University
Wow, second year in a row to have an awesome event with Columbia University nursing students! Thanks to all who took part in the day's events and especially to those future nurses who've signed up to be Facebook friends!
A HUGE "Thank You!" to Dr. Norma Hannigan for believing my medical programs have enough info to warrant a second trip to Columbia! (And for being the kind of educator we are fortunate to have shaping the healthcare profession – she makes me want to go back to school)!
It’s hard to express the mindset the day put me into – somewhere between ecstatic, humbled I'm able to help and realization that this is why I do what I do. Thank you!
A HUGE "Thank You!" to Dr. Norma Hannigan for believing my medical programs have enough info to warrant a second trip to Columbia! (And for being the kind of educator we are fortunate to have shaping the healthcare profession – she makes me want to go back to school)!
It’s hard to express the mindset the day put me into – somewhere between ecstatic, humbled I'm able to help and realization that this is why I do what I do. Thank you!
Monday, July 06, 2009
Sucking Up The Fear and Staying Relevant
After posting a bit about it last week, on Saturday, I took the plunge and bought an iPhone.
Now, I'm not a gadget guy. I AM a guy, so there's a certain amount of inherent love of electronics, but I've never been the person who has to have the latest and greatest electronic update to, well, everything.
Part of the reason I'm not geeky is due to the lag of getting accessible electronics. For years, the protocol has been that an electronic device/software program is released, then six months later, a company has created a way to make it accessible for blind folks. This always keeps the blind community at least six months behind.
Not the case with Apple...and that's why I bought the iPhone. Before ever leaving Best Buy, I had an accessible iPhone in hand. Right from the counter, out of the box, a couple seconds of the sales clerk turning on the Voice Over command and...presto! Yours truly has just simplified life!
Can I survive without an iPhone? Sure. Can I continue to function with electronics that get the job done, efficiently or not? Absolutely. Do I save a ton of time and aggravation by jumping on the nerd wagon and getting the latest and greatest (and only device made to work out of the box for blind folks?)...yep.
I don't want to spend my life using technology from a half dozen years ago. I don't want to wear clothes that were popular back at Y2K. I don't want to refuse to be up on items that make life simplier and faster-I want to stay relevant. And the Apple iPhone allows me to do just that...and to do it in a way that's never been as easy for blind folks.
Thanks, Apple, for your foresight and depth of knowledge in creating a product that'll be a huge addition to my life!
Now, I'm not a gadget guy. I AM a guy, so there's a certain amount of inherent love of electronics, but I've never been the person who has to have the latest and greatest electronic update to, well, everything.
Part of the reason I'm not geeky is due to the lag of getting accessible electronics. For years, the protocol has been that an electronic device/software program is released, then six months later, a company has created a way to make it accessible for blind folks. This always keeps the blind community at least six months behind.
Not the case with Apple...and that's why I bought the iPhone. Before ever leaving Best Buy, I had an accessible iPhone in hand. Right from the counter, out of the box, a couple seconds of the sales clerk turning on the Voice Over command and...presto! Yours truly has just simplified life!
Can I survive without an iPhone? Sure. Can I continue to function with electronics that get the job done, efficiently or not? Absolutely. Do I save a ton of time and aggravation by jumping on the nerd wagon and getting the latest and greatest (and only device made to work out of the box for blind folks?)...yep.
I don't want to spend my life using technology from a half dozen years ago. I don't want to wear clothes that were popular back at Y2K. I don't want to refuse to be up on items that make life simplier and faster-I want to stay relevant. And the Apple iPhone allows me to do just that...and to do it in a way that's never been as easy for blind folks.
Thanks, Apple, for your foresight and depth of knowledge in creating a product that'll be a huge addition to my life!
Friday, July 03, 2009
Is It Zen? Or Just Wimpy?
Just completed the autobiography of Grateful Dead bassist, Phil Lesh. “Searching For The Sound: My Life With The Grateful Dead” was one of those reads that took me back about 18 years to when thtere was nothing but Dead bootlegs playing on my stereo.
No, I never got to see/hear The Dead in concert. Had the opportunity to see one of their last ffive shows, but, alas, it’ll remain one of those coulda, shoulda, woulda things.
Anyway, being such a fan during my high school days, it was cool to re-read many of the experiences of the band from their 30 year history. Most interesting was their stories about the acid tests in the mid 60s in San Francisco, hanging out with the Merry Pranksters, Woodstock-just that whole hippie thing. Again, I think I was born about 30 years too late.
One thing the 60s hippie generation did really well was their “live and let live” attitude towards everyone. This isn’t to take away from all the things the hippies did wrong, but that Zen attitude of just letting others do their thang is cool. Instead of trying to control people and get them to do what YOU want, the notion of just letting others be free to live their lives the way they want is something of which I’m envious. Lesh’s book really highlighted this.
And that live and let live thing is cool…to a certain point.
See, there’s a fine line between being Zen and being a wimp. Lesh says as much in his autobio.
During the Dead’s career, they lost no less than half a dozen people directly to substance abuse. Pigpen drank himself to death, Janis Joplin ODed on heroin, Keith Godchaux officially died from head injuries received in a car crash (but we know how that works with someone who is a known abuser), Brent Mydland died from an overdose of booze and pills and, last but not least, Jerry Garcia’s use ultimately led to his demise in 1995. Throw in all the other hangers on and influences and it’s real, real obvious that the whole free love/thinking/mind expansion from drug use has a dark underbelly.
In one episode of the book, Lesh describes how the band had a meeting about one of their members. A bandmate was abusing drugs, probably addicted, and everyone was suffering. Still, no one in the band had the fortitude to step up to the plate, confront the abuser and draw the line in the sand. So, in typical cowardly fashion, they made their manager do it.
I love the idea of Zen. You cannot control the stream, you must simply learn to flow along with it. That stream is life. Great in theory, right?
What Zen fails to address is what happens when someone you love is going down the tubes. Live and let live can easily turn into a Beatles tune: Live and Let Die.
My theory is that by practicing being Zen, letting others have free reign to let their freak flag fly, the 60s attitude ultimately meant that some folks lost their lives. Those who were not addicted, abusing nor caught up in letting drugs control their lives saw the damage those drugs were doing…and no one helped.
Does this mean the hippies have blood on their hands? Kinda, yeah. By choosing to NOT take action when someone is in trouble isn’t Zen-it’s cowardly
Look around. Are there people you know who need help? Do you have the guts to state your concern? Addicts have great defense mechanisms built in…but they can’t even balk if no one has the courage to show their concern.
When you know someone who is hurting, abusing or needs help-don’t be a hippie. Zen can only take you so far. Step up to the plate, try to help…you may not succeed, but at least you didn’t let the world abuse your loved one without a fight.
No, I never got to see/hear The Dead in concert. Had the opportunity to see one of their last ffive shows, but, alas, it’ll remain one of those coulda, shoulda, woulda things.
Anyway, being such a fan during my high school days, it was cool to re-read many of the experiences of the band from their 30 year history. Most interesting was their stories about the acid tests in the mid 60s in San Francisco, hanging out with the Merry Pranksters, Woodstock-just that whole hippie thing. Again, I think I was born about 30 years too late.
One thing the 60s hippie generation did really well was their “live and let live” attitude towards everyone. This isn’t to take away from all the things the hippies did wrong, but that Zen attitude of just letting others do their thang is cool. Instead of trying to control people and get them to do what YOU want, the notion of just letting others be free to live their lives the way they want is something of which I’m envious. Lesh’s book really highlighted this.
And that live and let live thing is cool…to a certain point.
See, there’s a fine line between being Zen and being a wimp. Lesh says as much in his autobio.
During the Dead’s career, they lost no less than half a dozen people directly to substance abuse. Pigpen drank himself to death, Janis Joplin ODed on heroin, Keith Godchaux officially died from head injuries received in a car crash (but we know how that works with someone who is a known abuser), Brent Mydland died from an overdose of booze and pills and, last but not least, Jerry Garcia’s use ultimately led to his demise in 1995. Throw in all the other hangers on and influences and it’s real, real obvious that the whole free love/thinking/mind expansion from drug use has a dark underbelly.
In one episode of the book, Lesh describes how the band had a meeting about one of their members. A bandmate was abusing drugs, probably addicted, and everyone was suffering. Still, no one in the band had the fortitude to step up to the plate, confront the abuser and draw the line in the sand. So, in typical cowardly fashion, they made their manager do it.
I love the idea of Zen. You cannot control the stream, you must simply learn to flow along with it. That stream is life. Great in theory, right?
What Zen fails to address is what happens when someone you love is going down the tubes. Live and let live can easily turn into a Beatles tune: Live and Let Die.
My theory is that by practicing being Zen, letting others have free reign to let their freak flag fly, the 60s attitude ultimately meant that some folks lost their lives. Those who were not addicted, abusing nor caught up in letting drugs control their lives saw the damage those drugs were doing…and no one helped.
Does this mean the hippies have blood on their hands? Kinda, yeah. By choosing to NOT take action when someone is in trouble isn’t Zen-it’s cowardly
Look around. Are there people you know who need help? Do you have the guts to state your concern? Addicts have great defense mechanisms built in…but they can’t even balk if no one has the courage to show their concern.
When you know someone who is hurting, abusing or needs help-don’t be a hippie. Zen can only take you so far. Step up to the plate, try to help…you may not succeed, but at least you didn’t let the world abuse your loved one without a fight.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
STEP!
Due to the fact I was an "adult" when I lost my sight, I've never been real familiar with the programs designed to assist blind children/teens. I've done a bit of work with the Missouri School for the Blind, but that's about the extent of it.
That is, until last week...
My buddy, Kevin Hollinger, is an orientation and mobility specialist for a school district in the St. Louis area. He was the head honcho for a program this summer called STEP (Student Transitional Educational Program.) Designed for teens between 14 and 19 who are blind or visually impaired, STEP gives participants a three week campus experience. The participants learn a ton of adaptive daily living skills, but also get help with interviews, resumes, social skills and networking.
I was really proud to be their featured speaker on Thursday, April 25. Special thanks to Kevin and Angie York for being such great hosts, and to all the participants for taking a proactive stance for your future and your education. If there's anything I can do to help y'all in the future, just drop me an E mail. Good luck in your future pursuits!
That is, until last week...
My buddy, Kevin Hollinger, is an orientation and mobility specialist for a school district in the St. Louis area. He was the head honcho for a program this summer called STEP (Student Transitional Educational Program.) Designed for teens between 14 and 19 who are blind or visually impaired, STEP gives participants a three week campus experience. The participants learn a ton of adaptive daily living skills, but also get help with interviews, resumes, social skills and networking.
I was really proud to be their featured speaker on Thursday, April 25. Special thanks to Kevin and Angie York for being such great hosts, and to all the participants for taking a proactive stance for your future and your education. If there's anything I can do to help y'all in the future, just drop me an E mail. Good luck in your future pursuits!
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Upward Talent Search!
Okay, so that's not really the title of anything...
Last week, I was honored to work with two elements of the TRIO program in Kansas. Educational Talent Search helps identify middle school students who are underprivledged and/or have a parent who didn't go to college in order to help these students see their education as a priority. Folks, these are good tax dollars at work, helping to educate, inspire and motivate young people to help take their life up another notch from whence they came.
Now, second part of the TRIO event was with high school students in the Upward Bound program. These teens have been identified as having some of the same criteria as the other TRIO students, but with gifts in math and sciences (seriously, even though some of my audience was only 14 or 15, I felt stupid around these kids!They're just that smart!)
A HUGE thanks goes to Michael Rose for being such a fantastic client, such an inspiration to his students and a walking example of turning your life up a notch.
Thanks to all the TRIO students who attended the event at Coffeyville, KS and for all the Facebook sign-ups!
Last week, I was honored to work with two elements of the TRIO program in Kansas. Educational Talent Search helps identify middle school students who are underprivledged and/or have a parent who didn't go to college in order to help these students see their education as a priority. Folks, these are good tax dollars at work, helping to educate, inspire and motivate young people to help take their life up another notch from whence they came.
Now, second part of the TRIO event was with high school students in the Upward Bound program. These teens have been identified as having some of the same criteria as the other TRIO students, but with gifts in math and sciences (seriously, even though some of my audience was only 14 or 15, I felt stupid around these kids!They're just that smart!)
A HUGE thanks goes to Michael Rose for being such a fantastic client, such an inspiration to his students and a walking example of turning your life up a notch.
Thanks to all the TRIO students who attended the event at Coffeyville, KS and for all the Facebook sign-ups!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
A Father
I was reading an autobiography last year written by a guy about my age (that would be mid-30s.) This wasn't a warm and fuzzy autobio, but the no nonsense, in your face writing style I like. The author never really knew his father, so he just referred to him as "my sperm donor."
Even though they'd only ever met a couple times, the son never really tried to contact his biological father to bridge that relationship. Instead, he simply referred to him as "my sperm donor" and make snide remarks. And does the father deserve that title? I dunno-I'm not intimately involved with that relationship.
What I DO know is that if he cared enough to think up a degrading nickname, then the author is resentful that he never had a relationship with his dad. I think truly, everyone wants a relationship with their father. Scratch that: everyone wants a GOOD relationship with their father. Some folks have a relationship with dear old dad, yet due to whatever circumstances, they don't get what they want. And I know others who'd also like that relationship, but after trying and trying, it simply cannot be sustained. And when we have a rather high percentage of folks in this country who have fathers who are out of the picture, that's a lot of hurt hanging around. And I just think it's a sad thing.
And what am I? A father? Sorta, I guess. I do have three stepchildren, but I wasn't their stepfather until they were almost through puberty. I can guide and try to lead by example, but fathering? Really? Not so much.
My first father's day greeting today came from my Hija, Tiffani. Now, Tiffani isn't mine. Not exactly. Taylor, Jordan and Maddison are most definitely my stepchildren, but Tiffani is my Hija (hija is Spanish for daughter, if you don't habla espagnol)
Tiffani's father isn't really involved with her life. And due to the fact I think everyone wants a good relationship with their father, I brought her in as my Hija. Plus, she's exactly the kind of kid any father would want, so it wasn't like it was tough! I've also got Hijo, Tiffani's little brother, Tyler. Great, great kids and I'm just so humbled I get to take on a father figure role for them.
But what is a father? Just the guy who donated some sperm? The guy who takes the kids to the park? The disciplinarian? I'm none of these things. So, I kept thinking, trying to find a definition for "father."
I think the gender thing is important here. I think fathers ideally serve a role as protector. Being male, that's a little easier to think of than a female/mom as the protector of the family. So, with the gender thing nailed down, what is a father? Here's my definition (screw whatever Webster's says, this is my definition):
Father: Any male who puts the needs of children before his own.
No sperm involved. No marriage involved. No duties involved, other than always putting the growth and development of children at the forefront.
You won't have to look too hard to find fatherless children who had a male teacher who became their father. Or maybe it was another guy from the church. I know several friends who had fathers who died and they "adopted" another male role model as their father figure.
Why is this so important? First and foremost, I think raising kids is the most important job...ever. Second, because I was one of the lucky ones. My dad wasn't absentee. My dad wasn't a drunk. My dad wasn't a cheater. My dad wasn't an abuser. My dad gave us protection, guidance, discipline, acceptance and care. That's about five more things than many of my friends got from their dads. Filling that role is important to me. It is now and it always will be.
I'm not perfect. God knows I wasn't a father until I was a 31 year old dad of teenagers-but I want to always keep that definition of fatherhood at the forefront: the needs of children in front of my own.
If I get to help continue to guide Tay, J, Maddi, Hija and Hijo, I'm lucky. And if I can do it half as well as my old man, then they're lucky.
Happy Father's Day!
Even though they'd only ever met a couple times, the son never really tried to contact his biological father to bridge that relationship. Instead, he simply referred to him as "my sperm donor" and make snide remarks. And does the father deserve that title? I dunno-I'm not intimately involved with that relationship.
What I DO know is that if he cared enough to think up a degrading nickname, then the author is resentful that he never had a relationship with his dad. I think truly, everyone wants a relationship with their father. Scratch that: everyone wants a GOOD relationship with their father. Some folks have a relationship with dear old dad, yet due to whatever circumstances, they don't get what they want. And I know others who'd also like that relationship, but after trying and trying, it simply cannot be sustained. And when we have a rather high percentage of folks in this country who have fathers who are out of the picture, that's a lot of hurt hanging around. And I just think it's a sad thing.
And what am I? A father? Sorta, I guess. I do have three stepchildren, but I wasn't their stepfather until they were almost through puberty. I can guide and try to lead by example, but fathering? Really? Not so much.
My first father's day greeting today came from my Hija, Tiffani. Now, Tiffani isn't mine. Not exactly. Taylor, Jordan and Maddison are most definitely my stepchildren, but Tiffani is my Hija (hija is Spanish for daughter, if you don't habla espagnol)
Tiffani's father isn't really involved with her life. And due to the fact I think everyone wants a good relationship with their father, I brought her in as my Hija. Plus, she's exactly the kind of kid any father would want, so it wasn't like it was tough! I've also got Hijo, Tiffani's little brother, Tyler. Great, great kids and I'm just so humbled I get to take on a father figure role for them.
But what is a father? Just the guy who donated some sperm? The guy who takes the kids to the park? The disciplinarian? I'm none of these things. So, I kept thinking, trying to find a definition for "father."
I think the gender thing is important here. I think fathers ideally serve a role as protector. Being male, that's a little easier to think of than a female/mom as the protector of the family. So, with the gender thing nailed down, what is a father? Here's my definition (screw whatever Webster's says, this is my definition):
Father: Any male who puts the needs of children before his own.
No sperm involved. No marriage involved. No duties involved, other than always putting the growth and development of children at the forefront.
You won't have to look too hard to find fatherless children who had a male teacher who became their father. Or maybe it was another guy from the church. I know several friends who had fathers who died and they "adopted" another male role model as their father figure.
Why is this so important? First and foremost, I think raising kids is the most important job...ever. Second, because I was one of the lucky ones. My dad wasn't absentee. My dad wasn't a drunk. My dad wasn't a cheater. My dad wasn't an abuser. My dad gave us protection, guidance, discipline, acceptance and care. That's about five more things than many of my friends got from their dads. Filling that role is important to me. It is now and it always will be.
I'm not perfect. God knows I wasn't a father until I was a 31 year old dad of teenagers-but I want to always keep that definition of fatherhood at the forefront: the needs of children in front of my own.
If I get to help continue to guide Tay, J, Maddi, Hija and Hijo, I'm lucky. And if I can do it half as well as my old man, then they're lucky.
Happy Father's Day!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Swallow That Pride
Tonight, had a really pleasant dinner with some extended family.
Not to air all the dirty laundry that every family has, but within some of my relatives' relationships, tension exists. Folks have had hurt feelings, rejection, embarassment, self righteousness and all the typical emotions that we humans endure. Some of these folks have gone for years without speaking to one another. This is just sad.
I've been in family wars. I've seen the hurt we humans can inflict on others. It's weilded for no good reason and yet...it takes a HUGE amount of courage to stop these trends.
I'm super proud of what I witnessed tonight: relatives who may not have had any contact in months or years, all gathered together and enjoying one another's company. Letting the past be water under the bridge, quietly admitting their own shortcomings, forgiving those of others and, above all else...moving on.
Relationships are so much more important than being right.
Not to air all the dirty laundry that every family has, but within some of my relatives' relationships, tension exists. Folks have had hurt feelings, rejection, embarassment, self righteousness and all the typical emotions that we humans endure. Some of these folks have gone for years without speaking to one another. This is just sad.
I've been in family wars. I've seen the hurt we humans can inflict on others. It's weilded for no good reason and yet...it takes a HUGE amount of courage to stop these trends.
I'm super proud of what I witnessed tonight: relatives who may not have had any contact in months or years, all gathered together and enjoying one another's company. Letting the past be water under the bridge, quietly admitting their own shortcomings, forgiving those of others and, above all else...moving on.
Relationships are so much more important than being right.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Pardon My Geekiness
Okay, one of the big questions I always get is: How do you use a computer?
Simple answer? I get a normal computer, then I have to purchase special screen reading software, install it and learn how to navigate. Every time there's an upgrade to an operating system, the company that makes the screen reading software has to play "catch up." How do I use the screen and menus on a cell phone? Same sorta thing...buy the phone, buy the screen reading software, install it and then learn to use it.
This is how I've lived my life for the last, oh, 16 years.
However, there's some fantastic new things on the horizon. Namely? Apple products.
The Apple Mac computer has come with Voice Over, a screen reading software package, already built into the machine. This means any blind person can walk out of an Apple store with a new computer, take it home, turn it on and can use it immediately! No purchase of screen reading software, no clunky installations-it just works right out of the box.
Well, I've just learned that the most awesome device since screen reading software, the Victor Reader Stream (which I purchased a year ago) now has a competitor: The newest version of the iPhone.
Now, the iPhone can be used by blind people since Voice Over is built into the device. Again, right out of the box, it just works! I haven't used it, but the rviews are just fantastic. And this, dear friends, makes me want to weep with happiness at being on equal footing, using the same devices as the rest of the world.
There is one small issue with the iPhone which I just asked Apple to look into. I download my digital audio books for free from the National Library Service, part of the Library of Congress. Learn more at:
www.nlsbard.loc.gov
As many things as the iPhone will do, Apple and the NLS have to get together for me to be able to read these books on my iPhone. NLS suggested I write to Apple and ask them to begin a discussion with the NLS. So, I did. I just sent an E mail to:
accessibility@apple.com
In this note, I told them my situation, asked they contact the NLS and find a way that blind iPhone users can download NLS books. I would LOVE to not have to carry an extra accessible device like I do now...and Apple has that possibility.
Please, if you're blind and a reader, or if you just want to help out a guy like me, will you please take a couple seconds to ask Apple to communicate with the NLS to fulfill the NLS mission: That all may read. Thanks!
Simple answer? I get a normal computer, then I have to purchase special screen reading software, install it and learn how to navigate. Every time there's an upgrade to an operating system, the company that makes the screen reading software has to play "catch up." How do I use the screen and menus on a cell phone? Same sorta thing...buy the phone, buy the screen reading software, install it and then learn to use it.
This is how I've lived my life for the last, oh, 16 years.
However, there's some fantastic new things on the horizon. Namely? Apple products.
The Apple Mac computer has come with Voice Over, a screen reading software package, already built into the machine. This means any blind person can walk out of an Apple store with a new computer, take it home, turn it on and can use it immediately! No purchase of screen reading software, no clunky installations-it just works right out of the box.
Well, I've just learned that the most awesome device since screen reading software, the Victor Reader Stream (which I purchased a year ago) now has a competitor: The newest version of the iPhone.
Now, the iPhone can be used by blind people since Voice Over is built into the device. Again, right out of the box, it just works! I haven't used it, but the rviews are just fantastic. And this, dear friends, makes me want to weep with happiness at being on equal footing, using the same devices as the rest of the world.
There is one small issue with the iPhone which I just asked Apple to look into. I download my digital audio books for free from the National Library Service, part of the Library of Congress. Learn more at:
www.nlsbard.loc.gov
As many things as the iPhone will do, Apple and the NLS have to get together for me to be able to read these books on my iPhone. NLS suggested I write to Apple and ask them to begin a discussion with the NLS. So, I did. I just sent an E mail to:
accessibility@apple.com
In this note, I told them my situation, asked they contact the NLS and find a way that blind iPhone users can download NLS books. I would LOVE to not have to carry an extra accessible device like I do now...and Apple has that possibility.
Please, if you're blind and a reader, or if you just want to help out a guy like me, will you please take a couple seconds to ask Apple to communicate with the NLS to fulfill the NLS mission: That all may read. Thanks!
Monday, June 15, 2009
The Uselessness of Polls
Okay, not all polls are useless. I totally understand the idea of getting an idea of the pulse of the nation by folks participating in surveys. But there was one I saw recently that takes the cake.
We all know about the AirFrance flight that went down in the southern Atlantic a week or two ago. On a major news site, the poll question was:
What do you think caused this crash? A. pilot error B. weather C. electronics failure D. terrorists
And the answer is...no one cares what your opinion is unless you know something about it! But here's the salesman in Hoboken checking "electronics failure" when he can't even fix a toilet! If you're a meterologist? Fine, I'd love your take! An aeronautical engineer? Even better! A pilot? Awesome, spill your guts! A nurse in Tucson? Not so much!
Look, polls are great for gaining opinions of how people feel and behave. It's not an accurate way of finding answers to non-related querries. Please just consider what you're reading and why your opinion might (or might not) matter.
We all know about the AirFrance flight that went down in the southern Atlantic a week or two ago. On a major news site, the poll question was:
What do you think caused this crash? A. pilot error B. weather C. electronics failure D. terrorists
And the answer is...no one cares what your opinion is unless you know something about it! But here's the salesman in Hoboken checking "electronics failure" when he can't even fix a toilet! If you're a meterologist? Fine, I'd love your take! An aeronautical engineer? Even better! A pilot? Awesome, spill your guts! A nurse in Tucson? Not so much!
Look, polls are great for gaining opinions of how people feel and behave. It's not an accurate way of finding answers to non-related querries. Please just consider what you're reading and why your opinion might (or might not) matter.
New Facebook URL
If you're on Facebook (and if you're not, shame on you!), you've probably read their updates about how you can now create a unique URL for your Facebook profile. I did this and you can now go directly to my FB page by clicking on:
www.facebook.com/MarcusEngel
Enjoy! See ya on Facebook!
www.facebook.com/MarcusEngel
Enjoy! See ya on Facebook!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Is There Anything That Could Change Your Beliefs?
I recently listened to a podcast from The Dave Glover Show which involved a debate over evolution. Now, let me state up front that I don’t really have a dog in this fight. I don’t see evolution as diametrically opposed to creationism. And more than that? I’m just not educated enough. Heck, there are Ph.D.s in physics, paleontology, geology and anthropology who can’t agree on how the world came into being. Why should an uneducated buffoon like me prove his buffoonedness by blathering about something where he has no expertise?
So anyway, a question was posed to one of the participants:
Is there anything that could make you change your belief?
This gave me pause. Granted, I have lots of beliefs. And if you want to know how my mind works, check out the lyrics to God (Part II) by John Lennon (U2 does an awesome version on “Rattle & Hum”, too.)
All the things I believe…that gravity exists, that Bruce Springsteen is the greatest songwriter of all time, that my wife loves me, that people who hurt children should be publically lynched, that navy blue is the best color, that global warming isn’t quite the issue Al Gore makes it out to be, that Mitch Hedberg is the funniest comedian ever, that goat cheese on a burger makes it tastier-just a lot of beliefs.
But could my beliefs be changed? Sure! With more information. After all, my beliefs are based on the information I’ve obtained thus far. Do I know enough to be an expert on all issues? Any issues, for that matter? Nah, I’m not real dogmatic about why my beliefs are fact: only that they’re my beliefs.
When this question was posed to the creationist, he said that nothing could change his mind. Absolutely nothing, nothing at all.
Really?
See, we only know what we know. Let’s take religion (since we’re on the subject)…what if tomorrow, earth was visited by aliens. And what if these aliens turned out to have had a video camera on earth since, oh, the beginning of time. And what if we could see, right there in living color that, um, that whole Genesis thing? Yeah, didn’t happen. Not the way Christians, Jews and Muslims all agree it happened, at least. If this film from the aliens was absolutely refutable with all their methods proveable and accurate….and yet it doesn’t jive with what you’ve been taught all your life…would it change your beliefs?
Granted, this is a ridiculously far-fetched scenario. I just get really worried when dogmatic people say that nothing, not a single thing no matter how relevant, will ever change their beliefs. Talk about having the blinders on.
For me, I’ll rest content in the knowledge I’m ignorant. And if some day I die, I’ll be real, real happy if there’s some new knowledge revealed to me. After all, my human mind can only comprehend what I’ve been taught and what I’ve experienced…and I haven’t experienced Genesis. Neither has anyone else alive today.
Is there a difference in belief and opinion? That’s the idea I’m pondering today…
So anyway, a question was posed to one of the participants:
Is there anything that could make you change your belief?
This gave me pause. Granted, I have lots of beliefs. And if you want to know how my mind works, check out the lyrics to God (Part II) by John Lennon (U2 does an awesome version on “Rattle & Hum”, too.)
All the things I believe…that gravity exists, that Bruce Springsteen is the greatest songwriter of all time, that my wife loves me, that people who hurt children should be publically lynched, that navy blue is the best color, that global warming isn’t quite the issue Al Gore makes it out to be, that Mitch Hedberg is the funniest comedian ever, that goat cheese on a burger makes it tastier-just a lot of beliefs.
But could my beliefs be changed? Sure! With more information. After all, my beliefs are based on the information I’ve obtained thus far. Do I know enough to be an expert on all issues? Any issues, for that matter? Nah, I’m not real dogmatic about why my beliefs are fact: only that they’re my beliefs.
When this question was posed to the creationist, he said that nothing could change his mind. Absolutely nothing, nothing at all.
Really?
See, we only know what we know. Let’s take religion (since we’re on the subject)…what if tomorrow, earth was visited by aliens. And what if these aliens turned out to have had a video camera on earth since, oh, the beginning of time. And what if we could see, right there in living color that, um, that whole Genesis thing? Yeah, didn’t happen. Not the way Christians, Jews and Muslims all agree it happened, at least. If this film from the aliens was absolutely refutable with all their methods proveable and accurate….and yet it doesn’t jive with what you’ve been taught all your life…would it change your beliefs?
Granted, this is a ridiculously far-fetched scenario. I just get really worried when dogmatic people say that nothing, not a single thing no matter how relevant, will ever change their beliefs. Talk about having the blinders on.
For me, I’ll rest content in the knowledge I’m ignorant. And if some day I die, I’ll be real, real happy if there’s some new knowledge revealed to me. After all, my human mind can only comprehend what I’ve been taught and what I’ve experienced…and I haven’t experienced Genesis. Neither has anyone else alive today.
Is there a difference in belief and opinion? That’s the idea I’m pondering today…
Monday, June 08, 2009
Happy Graduation, Maddison!
This past week, I went deep into the heart of Texas to celebrate my stepdaughter's graduation. Maddi graduated from Belton High School this past Thursday night - something I'm very, VERY proud of!
Every teenager has the difficulties of growing up, that transitional period into adulthood, all the stuff we hated as teenagers. To get through these things AND get one's diploma is something that's such an accomplishment! I'm super duper proud of my fav Adams teenager female for her great work and for giving u
s such a special celebratory time!
Every teenager has the difficulties of growing up, that transitional period into adulthood, all the stuff we hated as teenagers. To get through these things AND get one's diploma is something that's such an accomplishment! I'm super duper proud of my fav Adams teenager female for her great work and for giving u
s such a special celebratory time!
Shriners International Awareness Day
My first introduction to the Shriners was a parade in downtown St. Louis when I was maybe six years old. And more than the parade (other than a few scattered memories of a two-humped camel and guys in go carts), my biggest memory was having to pee something fierce! Seems my aunt had brought along a cooler full of soda and we got to drink all we wanted...quite a treat for such a little guy! By the time we got home, my cousins and sister were ready to sell our birthright for first dibs on the bathroom!
So, when I became a Shriner in 2008, I started to become more acquainted with the inner workings of what it means to be a Shriner. Sat. June 6 is Shriners International Awareness Day (something you may have seen reference to on my Facebook and Twitter statuses).
So, who are the Shriners and what do they do? The Imperial Shrine is an organization made up of Master Masons (Freemasons) with the purpose of supporting the Shriners Hospitals for Children. Shriners have lots of events for members like black tie balls, casino nights, parties, socials, gatherings, etc. etc. etdc. Pretty much anything you can think of. And while we're having fun, there's the specific intent that we're also supporting the Hospitals by raising money, awareness and volunteerism.
The Shriners Hospitals for children are a group of approx. 20 different hospitals nationwide which provide orthapedic and burn care to children-for absolutely free, regardless of a family's ability to pay. As with so many orthapedic conditions, this may be on going; years of surgeries and rehab and prosthetics may be required. All for free in some of the most state-of-the-art facilities imaginable.
If you'd like to learn more about the Shrine, Shriners Hospitals or becoming a Shriner, please visit:
www.ShrineHQ.com
So, when I became a Shriner in 2008, I started to become more acquainted with the inner workings of what it means to be a Shriner. Sat. June 6 is Shriners International Awareness Day (something you may have seen reference to on my Facebook and Twitter statuses).
So, who are the Shriners and what do they do? The Imperial Shrine is an organization made up of Master Masons (Freemasons) with the purpose of supporting the Shriners Hospitals for Children. Shriners have lots of events for members like black tie balls, casino nights, parties, socials, gatherings, etc. etc. etdc. Pretty much anything you can think of. And while we're having fun, there's the specific intent that we're also supporting the Hospitals by raising money, awareness and volunteerism.
The Shriners Hospitals for children are a group of approx. 20 different hospitals nationwide which provide orthapedic and burn care to children-for absolutely free, regardless of a family's ability to pay. As with so many orthapedic conditions, this may be on going; years of surgeries and rehab and prosthetics may be required. All for free in some of the most state-of-the-art facilities imaginable.
If you'd like to learn more about the Shrine, Shriners Hospitals or becoming a Shriner, please visit:
www.ShrineHQ.com
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
So, You Wanna Meet Your Hero?
We all have heros. Some are tangible, right there intimately involved with our every day lives. And some are those bigger-than-life folks who we nearly idolize!
So, if the opprotunity presented itself, would you want to spend time with your hero? What if it meant you walked away from the meeting no longer respecting that person?
A few days ago, I was listening to a conversation by some old DJs who've seen the ins and outs of rock-n-roll over the last, oh, 50 years. One is a giant Rolling Stones fan, another is a giant Eric Clapton fan. Neither has had the opprotunity to meet their musical hero. Then the question arose...so, if you had the chance, would you take it?
Bob Dylan once had the opprotunity to meet his childhood musical idol, Elvis Presley. But Dylan turned down the offer. Why? Because he knew the reality could not match up with the image Bob carried of The King.
As I listened to these two DJs talk, neither was quite sure what they'd do. Meet Mick Jagger, only to have him turn out to be a complete jerk? Or spend a few minutes talking with Clapton, only to discover he's more interested in a newspaper than you? It's a tough call...but I know exactly where I'd land.
See, I dig reality. Even if something is less impressive in person, I want to know that. Everyone says the Grand Canyon is so impossibily beautiful and no words can describe it. But I'm sure there are people who've also gone to the Grand Canyon and said, "What's the big whoop?"
I choose to live in a world called "reality." Good or bad, right or wrong, I always want to know the reality. Not the delusion, not the hallucination, nothing through rose-colored glasses. I want reality.
Having spent years in denial of reality, once you've tasted the sweetness of what life really is, it makes me never want to miss an opprotunity to know reality-even if that reality doesn't match up with my pre-conceived notion. What's your take?
So, if the opprotunity presented itself, would you want to spend time with your hero? What if it meant you walked away from the meeting no longer respecting that person?
A few days ago, I was listening to a conversation by some old DJs who've seen the ins and outs of rock-n-roll over the last, oh, 50 years. One is a giant Rolling Stones fan, another is a giant Eric Clapton fan. Neither has had the opprotunity to meet their musical hero. Then the question arose...so, if you had the chance, would you take it?
Bob Dylan once had the opprotunity to meet his childhood musical idol, Elvis Presley. But Dylan turned down the offer. Why? Because he knew the reality could not match up with the image Bob carried of The King.
As I listened to these two DJs talk, neither was quite sure what they'd do. Meet Mick Jagger, only to have him turn out to be a complete jerk? Or spend a few minutes talking with Clapton, only to discover he's more interested in a newspaper than you? It's a tough call...but I know exactly where I'd land.
See, I dig reality. Even if something is less impressive in person, I want to know that. Everyone says the Grand Canyon is so impossibily beautiful and no words can describe it. But I'm sure there are people who've also gone to the Grand Canyon and said, "What's the big whoop?"
I choose to live in a world called "reality." Good or bad, right or wrong, I always want to know the reality. Not the delusion, not the hallucination, nothing through rose-colored glasses. I want reality.
Having spent years in denial of reality, once you've tasted the sweetness of what life really is, it makes me never want to miss an opprotunity to know reality-even if that reality doesn't match up with my pre-conceived notion. What's your take?
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
There's No Such Thing As Coincidence
I often hear the phrase, “There’s no such thing as coincidence.”
I have had “chance happenings” in my life that have such an astronomically small possibility of happening that it can’t really be called “coincidence.” The first that comes to mind is my random acquaintance of Ron Graham when I first went to the Seeing Eye, Inc. in Morristown, NJ in 1995…only to discover Ron had lost his sight in a car crash the exact same night as I. 1000 miles of Missouri, Oklahoma and Texas lay between our homes, but then, 2000 miles from either of our homes, only a dining room table separated us.
Dick Cavett, the former television personality, writes a blog for the NY Times on coincidences. The story of Ron and I was sent in by Henry (Bleu) Beathard, Ron’s father-in-law. Here’s the link:
http://cavett.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/05/08/seriously-what-are-the-odds/?ref=opinion&apage=20
Seven years after our first meeting, Ron introduced me to someone who became my best friend…and four years later became my wife. Maybe it’s true: There ARE no such things as coincidences.
I have had “chance happenings” in my life that have such an astronomically small possibility of happening that it can’t really be called “coincidence.” The first that comes to mind is my random acquaintance of Ron Graham when I first went to the Seeing Eye, Inc. in Morristown, NJ in 1995…only to discover Ron had lost his sight in a car crash the exact same night as I. 1000 miles of Missouri, Oklahoma and Texas lay between our homes, but then, 2000 miles from either of our homes, only a dining room table separated us.
Dick Cavett, the former television personality, writes a blog for the NY Times on coincidences. The story of Ron and I was sent in by Henry (Bleu) Beathard, Ron’s father-in-law. Here’s the link:
http://cavett.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/05/08/seriously-what-are-the-odds/?ref=opinion&apage=20
Seven years after our first meeting, Ron introduced me to someone who became my best friend…and four years later became my wife. Maybe it’s true: There ARE no such things as coincidences.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Marcus Is On Twitter!
Yep, I'm only about a year (or more) late catching onto the Twitter craze...but now you can follow my microblogging on Twitter at:
www.Twitter.com/MarcusEngel
I'm still learning to use Twitter, so please be patient! Thanks, friends!
www.Twitter.com/MarcusEngel
I'm still learning to use Twitter, so please be patient! Thanks, friends!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Feats of Valor
This weekend, while you're sitting around eating Cheetos and thinking about how you should be doing housework, reach down and grab the remote control. Tune into the Military Channel and watch the show called "Feats of Valor."
This is a documentary of three special vets and the heroic undertakings that show them to be outstanding representatives of our armed forces. Plus, the show was created by Cory and Becky Fisher, sis and bro-in-law of a good friend. I've seen some of Cory and Becky's other works and they do a fantastic job! Hope you'll tune in!
This is a documentary of three special vets and the heroic undertakings that show them to be outstanding representatives of our armed forces. Plus, the show was created by Cory and Becky Fisher, sis and bro-in-law of a good friend. I've seen some of Cory and Becky's other works and they do a fantastic job! Hope you'll tune in!
"Hold Onto These Moments As They Pass"
One of my very favorite songs ever is "A Long December" by Counting Crows. In that tune is a lyric I love so much...so much that I included it in "After This...":"I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold onto these moments as they pass...."
Life is all about grabbing the moments in front of us. After all, once a moment is gone, it's gone for good. Therefore, live in that moment, feel every bit of happiness, sorrow, joy, anger-everything. These moments are what life is about...
This past weekend, we met my parents and sister and her family in Branson for a short vacation. I love Orlando...love the people, love the ease of travel, love the climate (most of the time)...but the thing I hate is being so far away from my family.
I have three step kids who are grown and out of the house. I got to parent them for a couple years, but they were teenagers when we came together. My sister, on the other hand, has three kiddos; Lauren, 7, Michaela, 4, and James just turned 1 this week.
In Branson, I got to know my nieces and nephew better...keeping in mind that I've never lived within 200 miles of them, but now, it's even harder to get together. This week, we got to witness James taking his first steps, got to play pet store with Michaela and got to watch Hannah Montana with Lauren-times I'll never forget (and I hope they won't, either)
As life moves on, I hope you'll take time to live in each moment, experience the world as a child does and hold onto your special moments as they pass...
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