Mid-Term Apathy

I know I've told this story before in EE, but bear with me for a moment while I repeat it and turn it around to a new topic...

When I was a kid growing up, my great uncle was a big union guy. He was also a staunch member of his political party. One of the several bumper stickers on his Ford pick up was a blatant, direct and, to me, undeniably true statement:

If you don't vote, don't bitch.

I mean, so true! I even used to get hacked off in my 30s when a convo would turn political and I knew the fervor of the "contestants" was negated by the fact they didn't vote. Really? You'll get that heated over something for argument's sake, but you can't even get it together to get registered and go to the polling place? One question: Why should I put any stock in this person's opinion? I shouldn't. And frankly, I still feel this way.

We're in the craziness of the mid-term elections. Personally, I see more voting interest than at any other point in my 35 years on this planet. That's a good thing.

Just by happenstance, I was listening to an interview with George Carlin before his death a couple years back. Carlin has always been known for being outspoken on political issues, yet he also admits he didn't vote for the last 30 or so years of his life. To this I say...beg pardon?

Carlin's take was interesting, but, to be blunt, cowardly. His notion was that if he voted for a candidate, he didn't have the right to comment on that candidate. He felt he took on more of an objective commentary by NOT being involved with the political process. In essence, he held up a mirror to my great uncle's bumper sticker: If you're going to bitch, don't vote.

Interesting position? Yes. Completely wrong and backwards? Also yes.

Look, we're Americans. We have the right to elect our officials. Forget all the conspiracy nonsense-we get to put the people in power that we want. How many other places get to do that? Tain't too many, that's for sure. For this very privledge, I don't take voting lightly. Any time there's an election, mid-term or otherwise, I want to cast my vote. Not because I want to be able to bitch, but to do my part as an American. I hope you will, too.

...Until Daddy Takes The T-Bird Away

Can you name the top three funnest things you've ever done? Now, forget the once in a lifetime things like your wedding day or when your child was born and that kinda stuff. But just pure joyful fun. Got your three? Here are mine:

On our honeymoon, Marvelyne and I spent an entire afternoon going round and round the lazy river. Probably stopped to have an adult beverage along the way, but just being together and enjoying the relaxation (and laziness) one of those things provides.

Next? New Smyrna Beach. My mother in law has a condo at NSB and there is simply no other time I feel more alive than going out into the Atlantic. It engages my four remaining senses in a way that nothing else does.

And finally? Kinda a toss up between blasting brass with shooting, walking through New York City and going to concerts of any kind.

Now, I can't recreate my honeymoon. No one can do that. But, right across town there are a multitude of hotels with lazy rivers. They may not be as common as swimming pools, but they certainly aren't scarce. And New Smyrna Beach? 45 minutes from my front door. Concerts, shooting? All that can be done right in my city. Safely and legally go without saying.

Here's the question:

Why don't I do these sorts of things more often? Is there a financial investment involved? Sure, but it's not out of reach. It's not like a night or two in NYC will mean I have to go on welfare. It's not like concert tickets will mean I have to start selling my blood. I'm fully aware that times are kinda tough and we're all needing to tighten our belts a bit...but what is life without some joy in it?

I know it's kinda early to start making resolutions, but one thing I want o start incorporating into my life is simple joys. Things that truly, truly bring me happiness and excitement.

What are you going to do? Continue to think joy is out of your reach? Or look at it rationally and understand we've all got one time to go around on this big blue marble. During this 70 or so year existence I have, I want to be sure I don't lay on my death bed wishing I'd gone to the beach a little more often.

DeSales University and Marcus: Half Decade Anniversary

Again for 2010, I was honored to be a keynote presentor for DeSales University in Pennsylvania. Wonderful group of freshmen participating in the Character U. program, plus incredible clients with lots of laughs! What could be better?

Special thanks to Wendy Krisak, Dr. Gregg Amore and Chad Surface for being such good friends and great clients! Can’t wait to come back to DeSales for the sixth straight year!

One Classy Peach!

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm a bit of a diva when it comes to clothing. I love to shop for clothes, I love it when my closet is busting at the seems (no pun intended) with new clothes and stuff I really love.

Having said that, I'm no fashionista (is that really a word?) I don't spend a ton of time learning the latest trends or flipping through fashion mags or the like. And I could not possibly care less about a designer's touch and taste.

Still, because I dig clothes, I don't throw a fit when I walk in on my wife watching Project Runway. I might even pay attention for, oh, about 60 seconds.

Last night, I caught a recent episode of the show. Well, actually, about five minutes, but who's counting?

It was just at the time when the true designers are "voting people off the island." One of the wannabe designers who was at risk of being voted off was a 50 year old woman named Peach. I don't know any of her background at all, much less in fashion. But, when the ax fell and everyone learned she wouldn't be returning the next episode, I kinda wanted to know more about Peach.

See, when she got the boot, there's the obligatory response. No matter what reality show you're watching, there are a variety of responses the kickee will have; anger, sadness, contempt, jealousy, etc. For Peach? It was all about the gratitude.

She stated again and again how participating in the show had been such a treat for her, how it was the highlight of her life and how much she'd miss all the other newbie designers. Never a word was uttered about how she thought it was unfair, or how wrong the judges were. Nothing like that. Just gratitude and appreciation for being given the chance to show her stuff and to fall in with a crowd of 20-something newbie designers.

Maybe that's maturity, maybe that's intelligence...or maybe that's just Peach.

Ever Been Ripped A New One?

I have. Though, come to think of it, I don't know exactly what "one" is! Just today, in fact, did some ripping occur...

I'm a member of several different collegiate associations. I use these organizations to help me market my speaking services to the universities and colleges that most frequently request them. As an associate member in these orgs, I am allowed to send a limited number of unsolicited contacts to other members every year. I usually go by the 2, 2 and 2 rule: 2 calls, 2 E mails or 2 pieces of hard copy mail. How often? Spread out over two semesters.

So, today I was doing my marketing and working through a list of fraternity and sorority advisors. I try to make my personality come across in my E marketing pieces. One of the biggest compliments I've ever received is that my books and speaking services should carry an R rating. R for Real. I don't sugar coat things, I am totally myself and I'm real. Audiences are too savvy these days for any speaker to think they can get away with playing a character. Just be real. People respond to real people. And I'm one of them.

Anywho, in my E marketing piece, I posed the question: Would you like to work with a speaker who does't suck, isn't a diva and will leave your students with an unforgettable message?"

I received a response saying, "I don't want to work with a speaker who's sales pitch includes the phrase 'who doesn't suck.'" We're organizations of values and leadership. Please remove me from your mailing list.

I keep a running list of those who asked to be removed, and this person's name/address immediately went on it. I respect the privacy of those I mail. But, since I have a blog, and I'm still a little hot under the collar about his response, I'm going to vent. Here goes:

First, it's anyone's choice who they want to work with. I choose my business partners and everyone has that right. So does this guy. Still, here's what I don't think he gets:

Those of us who work in fraternity and sorority life have, for years, tried to dismantle the image set by "Animal House." We've spent a great deal of time basing our fraternal organizations around the motto and positive teachings of each organization. It's not just wild parties, drunken orgies and Belusi-ish antics. I believe that, I live that, I want others to know the qualities and values of these organizations.

But, here's the question...does using the word "suck" denote...well, anything? I have to imagine that every IFC and/or Pan Hellenic meeting this person advises uses that word at least once. And I' bet anything the members of the organizations involved do, too. And, I'd even go out on a limb to suggest that this gent, too, has some words in his vocabulary which others might find objectionable.

To me, my words show I'm real. That's how I talk. Both on the platform and off. And if someone doesn't like it? Well, that's their perogative. But to insinuate that to use the word "suck" somehow devalues the quality and value of fraternities and sororities? Brother, you're way, way off base.

At the end of the day, I took note of his concern. I disagree, but his point is noted. And his name and address are now on my "Do Not Mail" list. And I've deleted his little rant. I'll sleep fine tonight knowing I'm still me. I hope he will, too.

Is President Obama A Muslim?

A few days ago I was talking with an idiot. I don’t use that term lightly, but in this case, it’s appropriate.

Last week, a study came out that said 20% of Americans don’t know what religion President Obama follows. A similar study was released that stated 1 in 5 Americans believe our President is a Muslim.

Here’s the thing: How do we know what anyone believes? Simply put, we cannot. We can watch one’s actions, listen to their words and statements, but we can never truly know what is in another person’s heart, can we?

Think of it this way…

If I tell you I’m a Christian, simply based on my statement, you have no reason to believe (or not believe) me, right? If I tell you I’m a Christian and you know I go to church twice per week, the case for my faith is bolstered. If I tell you I’m a Christian, you witness me going to church and I act in the way you believe Christians act, again, more fodder for my claim.

But, could I be lying? Could I be going into a church but not worshipping? Could I be faking my actions? Yes, yes and yes. You will have no idea what my true, heart held beliefs are.

So, back to the Obama/Muslim thing. The idiot and I were discussing these new surveys that came out. Having 20% of Americans believe our national leader is a different religion than he espouses is pretty significant. The idiot says, “Oh yeah, I guarantee he’s a Muslim. I just know he is…”

I stopped, gave him my (as my wife calls it) the famous Marcus “WTF?” look. I posed this question to him…

1. You believe our President gets down on his knees five times per day and prays to the east to give glory to the Muslim god, Allah?
2. You think our president believes the main tenant of Islam; that there is one God, Allah, and that Mohammad is his prophet?
3. You believe that President Obama’s membership in the United Church of Christ (remember old Reverend Wright?) is nothing more than a farce?

The idiot begins back peddling and talks about the mosque at ground zero, President Obama’s bloodlines and heritage and how he’s sympathetic to the Islamic faith. Fair enough…but none of that makes him a Muslim. It simply shows our President is tolerant of the Muslim faith. But does that make him a Muslim? It does not.

IS President Obama a Muslim? I don’t know. Neither do you. Neither does the idiot.

I do know this. President Obama is a Democrat. His actions suggest a belief in tolerance of other faiths. Traditionally, Muslims and Jews have been at polar opposites; going so far as to kill one another on a annual, weekly even daily basis. There are a significant number of folks who claim to be Jewish in the Democratic party; people who are political allies of President Obama. If he’s a Muslim, wouldn’t these Jewish politicians be his arch enemies?

The idiot, like most idiots, starts talking before thinking things over. To state one’s belief is a step. To claim that belief to be undeniably true is a bigger step. To guarantee it is a third (and bigger…and stupider) step.

Before forming a belief system, and definitely before stating your beliefs and claiming their truth, think. It seems that people who don’t think typically raise their voices the loudest. And then others who don’t think begin to follow those ways because they, too, haven’t took the time to think things out rationally.

Will this ever change? Doubtful. The world has been saturated with people who believe ridiculous things since day #1. Yet, I don’t want to be one of these people. I want to see what’s behind the curtain before making claims I may have to retract later. I want to have a well thought out reason for my beliefs. Why? To win an argument or discussion? No. Simply because I want to have an accurate view of the world. Not an opinion based on short sided thinking.

What about you? Do you speak before thinking? Do you espouse claims that don’t pass the sniff test? Do you believe what others say, simply because they have the bully pulpit? I’ve been this guy in the past…but now, I’ll politely listen. And I’ll internally think. And I’ll come to the most logical, rational set of beliefs; not one that I buy into just because someone else does.

Man's Search For Meaning

Back at my freshman year at Missouri State, I had to read Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning" for a religion 101 class. Did I read it? Yes. Do I remember it? Very, very little.

Yet, it's one of those books that ranks up there with, oh, the Bible, and Why Bad Things Happen To Good People, etc. Such valueable information, all presented with such horrid reality from the holocaust that, if nothing else, it leaves the reader knowing how good we have it.

Ya know, though, I don't think that lowest common denominator was Frankl's goal; i.e., that people feel good b/c they're not in a concentration camp. Rather, he's trying to show his philosophy that his reason for survival was partially credited by his desire to see his wife again and have hisschool of thought known by the world.

When Frankl talked about this (BTW, I just read the book again over the last few days), I kinda related to him. When I do speeches or write articles or books or whatever, my goal isn't that the listener/reader walk away going, "Man, with everything Marcus has been through, I've got nothing to complain about!" Rather, I'm hopeful that the elements I put into practice to get through my extreme adversity can be applicable to the life of the reader/listener. Dig?

Because of my desire to be known for my motto and philosophies, I paid particular attention to those of Frankl. Still, how can you read aboput the horrors of Auschweitz and not be grateful to live in 21st century America?

While I often give book reccomendations to my blog readers, this is one of those books of paramount importance. I feel like our world would be better off if everyone at a sixth grade level or above would read, "Man's Search For Meaning." That's a pretty big position...and one I don't take lightly. The info therein is just so, so relevant to the lives of everyone who has ever asked the question, "What's my place in this world?"

When You Don't Know What To Feel

My Facebook news feed is going crazy with excitement and angst. Why? Because so many of my FB friends are headed off to college for the first time.

Do you remember the first time you left home? Whether it was to college, out to your own place, moved in with your significant other, whatever, that's a big experience almost everyone has.

When I first left for college, I remember being out of my gourd with anxiety and excitement. It was a whole, big new world and I was pumped to dive into it. Then, when I did, it wasn't quite what I was expecting. It was a new world, true, but it was pretty lonely at first. Moving nearly 200 miles away from my best froiends, I was in a new environment, knew hardly anyone, just a whole slew of newness...and I didn't especially like it. I saw reunions of other Missouri State students; friends excited to see each other after months of being apart. I, on the other hand, knew no one.

That's the bad thing. The good thing was that it didn't take too long to start making friends-some of which I still have to this day. But those first days at school? Yeah, sad, lonely, scared and intimidated.

For my young friends who are headed off to college for the first time, take it from a veteran: give it some time. The newness will be gone in a short time. You'll make friends, experience new things and, soon, it'll just be your life. To get to that point, though, you've gotta dive in head first. I encourage and challenge you to put yourself out there. Walk up to people to make new friends, go somewhere uninvited, smile, experience. You'll be glad you did.

One Foot In Front Of The Other

Have you seen "The Drop"? If not, check it out at:

www.TheDropMovie.com

This is the seven minute short film we created earlier this year for a film contest. That gave us the itch to create a full length feature film based on my autobio, "After This..." For years, folks have told me "After This..." would make a great movie. And, having heard this so many times, I finally started to believe it.

Lately, we've shifted this deisre into high gear. No promises yet on if this is going to happen, but we're sure pushing forward!

I recently spoke to a gentleman in the film industry who does budget breakdowns for full length features. Of course, being a businessman, my mind is constantly fluttering around on how we can make this film, market it, make it a huge hit. When I started speaking with the budget breakdown guy, he said simply, "There are other people who need to worry about the marketing, Marcus. Your job is to just keep the passion for the project. If you keep putting one foot in front of the other, that passion will get this movie into production."

I marinated on that a while and decided he's right. While I can help with marketing, etc., my biggest gift is simply having the story. Done. And how much of life's successes is simply because someone keeps putting one foot in front of the next?

If I were super sensitive, I'd have given up on this project already. The first time someone told me how much it costs just to edit a film, I'd have been out. The first time I heard about how few films are bought, I'd have given up. But, we haven't yet. And we're going to keep knocking on doors, meeting with folks and pushing forward until we've exhausted every possibility. And then? We're going to start on a different route...but now? I'm content to take that budgeter's advice and keep putting one foot in front of the next.

Am I really Admitting To This on EE?

Okay, gotta give some back story before making this admission...

I play acoustic guitar. One of my biggest joys in life is performing live. Not doing my speaking thang (though that's a lot of fun, too), but having my 12 string Taylor on my lap, sitting on a bar stool with a mic in front of my face. In that position, you'l find me blaring out sub-par Johnny Cash, Springsteen, Tom Petty and John Prine tunes.

Since relocating to Florida a few years back, I haven't pursued playing out much; what we in the biz call "gigging." Have done a few acoustic sets, but nothing like I was doing in STL. Anyway, it's something I want to get back into.

As avid of a reader as I am, I'm currently reading a book you would never, in a million years, guess I'd be reading. The book? "The Girl's Guide To Rocking" by Jessica Hopper.

Why is a 35 year old man reading this? Mainly because there's actually good info in there. Granted, I'm not a teenage chick (who the book is aimed at), but good info nonetheless. Like, how to book gigs, the different styles of guitars (taught me a few things) and a lot about recording (something I really haven't done)

Still, the thing I dig most about this book is the self empowerment. Hopper gives a story of some girls who formed a band and, not being old enough to play in bars, they asked a local pizza joint if they could play there. Their friends came, bought pizza, so the owner asked the girls to come back the next weekend. This grew and grew until the girl band was booking other gigs. Finally, they got to big to play the pizzeria...and they were just barely high schoolers.

Hopper encourages readers to go out, look under every stone, ask tons of questions and, if you're persistent, you'll get what you want. I love this! And I love this message delivered to girls in such a positive, yet still rock and roll, way.

If we wait around for opportunity to come knocking, well, sometimes it will. More often, though, we're spending our lives just, well, waiting. I don't live like that. I won't live like that. And after reading Hopper's book, I doubt too many readers will want to live like that, either.

Resetting With Help From The Sandman

Do you ever get stressed out? Of course-we all do. How do you deal with the pressure?

When I get stressed, I tend to get into a funk. I.E., I don't tend to be stressed, take a few deep breaths and de-stressify myself. Instead, I get anxious and keep that anxiety around for many hours. This eats at me, I know it's not healthy and yet? It's really tough to change. Not that I'm not trying, but it's become my pattern and habit.

I was speaking with a friend recently about this. Her suggestion? Go to bed. And early. Write the day off as a bad day, go to bed early and tell yourself that when you wake up in the morning, yesterday is over. Then, specifically mae the choice NOT to let yesterday become today.

Sound advice. And ya know? It works.

Next time you're stressed, do the natural thing (after screaming at your spouse, I mean!)...just go to bed. The most natural way for the body to heal is sleep. And let's face it...stress is an injury. It hurts our immune system, our digestive system, our nervous system. It just sucks. Sleep...and when you wake up, it's a new day.

AHEAD 2010

Last week found the AHEAD conference in the Mile High City…and with yours truly exhibiting as always! The Assoc. on Higher Education and Disability is composed of disability support services professionals at colleges and universities across the country, plus a variety of other professionals who work in the field with disabilities. And, as always, it was such a great time seeing awesome people!

Special thanks to Jenny Dugger, Rae, Melanie Thompson, Emily, Erin, Lana, Tamara and a whole slew of others who I did NOT get to go to dinner with!

Thanks to all who stopped by our booth and got books, grabbed info and expressed interest in bringing the Marcus message to campus this fall!

They Need Everything

Lsast night, I played an acoustic set with my buddy, C.J. "Pappa Capps" Jurnigan for a chairity event.

Dan, a friend of C.J.'s and now mine, had an interesting experience. As a guy in his mid-20s, he was making good bread, living the life he wanted and was invited to go on a church trip to Honduras to do some missionary work. He'd done mission trips before, but this time, he felt led to a certain area of Honduras. There, he found a group of children living in a village. These kids were all the product of incest, rape and molestation and are outcasts in the community. This is when Dan's mission trip became a mission of his own.

He's made it his mission to help these children by teaching them to help themselves. In addition to helping feed and clothe them, he's also teaching them the responsibility of community. They're shown every day that they CAN play a part in their own development and their community by picking up litter off the beach.

Dan has just achieved 501C3 status for his organization, and last night's event was the first fund/awareness raiser he's had. The org is so new, in fact, that their web site isn't yet fully developed. Please stay tuned to EE for updates on Dan's progress and for opprotunities to help out the less fortunate of Central America.

Running Their Own Race

Over the weekend, I got caught up with my buddy, C.J. He's in a local band with a local celebrity and has really been getting some attention in the Orlando area. When we talked, I congratulated him on all the gigs he's been getting lately and the publicity the band has received.

"Yeah, it probably looks good from the outside," he said, "But the inside baseball scoop is that it's crumbling quick. The lead singer isn't E mailing the rest of the band the set lists, half the time we get on stage we haven't even practiced the songs he's picked out. And then there are just the egos; a lot of infighting andit starts to feel like I'm the supervisor of an adult day care."

I let him vent because, hey, that's what friends do. And really, a lot of it just sounds like rock-n-roll!

The next day, I saw his post on Facebook. Apparently, he had some time to simmer down because this was his status:

"I've come to realize all the crap I presume from other people isn't necessarily what I think. Everyone is just busy trying to run their own race. So am I."

When I take some time to marinate on this, it gets even more clear. When I get frustrated at others for the way they act, talk, etc., I've been trying to take a step back and be Zen. They're just running their race the only way they know how. I am, too.

Who'd Have Thunk I Could Have Written Three Books?

Yeah, back in the day, I wasn't much of a reader. I'm talking middle and high school. But, I guess once the state doesn't require you to go to school any more, it makes you want to learn. Or, at least, that's the case with me.

Yet, as a middle or high schooler, I never, EVER could have imagined I'd some day be an author. Much less write a second book. And now?

I'm ecstatic to announce the release of my third book, "I'm Here: Compassionate Communication In Patient Care."

My second book focused on health care professionals, "I'm Here" is autobiographical and written in the same style as, "Stethoscope." If you've read either "After This..." or my first health care book, "The Other End Of The Stethoscope: 33 Insights For Excellent Patient Care", I think you're just going to love, "I'm Here."

To get your very own copy, visit the store on www.MarcusEngel.com at:

http://www.MarcusEngelProducts.com

Thanks so much for your support of my writing, for taking a look at this blog and simply for taking an interest in my experiences!

Disappointing Differences In Dexter?

I freaking love the Showtime series, Dexter. I've read all Jeff Lindsay's "Dexter" books and, for the first time ever, a show is better than the books...and the books are awesome!

Here's the synopsis:

Dexter is a blood splatter analyst who works in forensics for Miami Metro Police Department. With cop blood in his own veins, Dexter is the expert's expert when it comes to blood splatters at a murder. He can draw a virtual picture, simply looking at the angles in which the blood has been thrown from the victim's wound. Kinda cool.

Here's the thing, though: Dexter himself is a serial killer. Crazy as this sounds, though, he only kills bad guys. Serial rapists, neo Nazis, pedophiles...those who've continually hurt others, yet who've managed to escape the law. Dexter follows a strict code taught by his cop father: The Code of Harry. In essence, it allows ONLY for the killing of guilty individuals. As you watch the show (which has fabulous actors, BTW) you really begin to root for Dexter. Then, I have to kinda catch myself...I'm rooting for someone's murder? Well, sure I can get caught up in the moment...and it's all fictional on the TV screen, right?

Well, in the DVD case of season #3 of Dexter, there's a coupon for products based on Dexter, including jewelry with tiny blood splatters, as well as a necktie with police tape and blood droplets. Hey, I like Dexter, but...is this going too far?

See, I have to throw some empathy out here. There are thousands of Americans murdered every year. If I were the parent of a murdered child, I don't think I could enjoy watching Dexter. And I wouldn't have to because that's the power of the remote control. If it offends you, turn the channel. Or, better yet, turn it off. But, if I buy a necktie and have a long conversation with someone while wearing said tie, do they have the right to be offended? Frankly, I think they do. Could it feel like belittling their loss? Or worse, glorifying it?

This is kind of how I feel when I've gone to some comedy clubs. Let's face it, at most comedy clubs, it's a comedian trying to get a start in the entertainment biz. By all means, do so. And by all means, get laughs however you can. Yet, because comedy clubs most often are just bars with a stage, as you can expect, there's lots of drinking going on. Well, when the audience is drunk, the comedian is on pretty safe territory to do drinking jokes. Fair enough. Yet, on more than one occassion, I've heard those drinking jokes go into drinking and driving jokes. I don't really find drunk driving so funny.

I realize this is "my issue." It's hard to be benign enough AND funny enough to stay in the limelight. But, if a comedian got up and started making serial killer jokes, yet the audience had members who'd had a family member murdered, no one would think it's out of bounds for those people to be offended and walk out.

I'm an opinionated person. I know that, from time to time, my viewpoints are going to piss some folks off (see? Someone probably got offended by my use of the word, "piss.") I just want to be cognisant enough to know if I'm offensive. And I hope others would be, too. And because of this desire, I won't wear a tie promoting a serial killer...even IF he's fictious and only kills bad guys.

I'm Here

One week, folks!

In just seven days, we'll be releasing my newest book to the public. "I'm Here: Compassionate Communication In Patient Care" will be available for purchase at MarcusEngel.com and at several of the major on line book retailers.

Be sure to check Facebook and Twitter for book giveaways leading up to the release!

BTW, July 1 will be the three year anniversary of my marriage to "I'm Here"'s editor, the lovely and talented Marvelyne. Help us celebrate by getting yourself a copy on release day!

Slaid

Please don't expect anything real profound this post, K?

Several years ago, a buddy turned me onto a Texas singer/songwriter named Slaid Cleaves. Love, LOVE this guy's music. I, in turn, have turned many of my friends onto Slaid, too.

Well, my great friends, Bryce & Nicole Taylor, live in Slaid's backyard (almost literally) in Austin, Texas, the center of the live music world. Recently, Slaid closed the show at the Kerrville Folk Festival, a place that has become of mythical proportion to yours truly and somewhere I hope to be next June when it happens again!

Anyway, Bryce and Nicole grabbed Slaid's latest CD for me and even gt him to autograph it! Such a thoughtful gesture and something I LOVE! If you dig singer/songwriter folk with an edgey flare, check out:

www.Slaid.com

Or put it into Pandora...I know not a single person who hasn't heard Slaid's music and fallen in love. Hope you will, too!

My Old Man

John Prine is one of my favorite artists. Folk music, nothing visual (duh!)

Prine's best friend was Steve Goodman, another folkie best known for writing the song, "The City Of New Orleans."

This morning, I got re-acquainted with a Steve Goodman song performed by Prine that I haven't heard for a couple years, "My Old Man." If you want a tear jerker of a song, check it out.

When I finished listening to it, my wife asked me what most appealed to me about this tune. First off, I think men aren't usually real huggy huggy emotional types. We're known for being the more reserved of the genders where emotions are concerned. So, I kinda like all songs sung about dads and sons.

This one, though, is an adult son talking about his recently departed father. The lyric that sticks out most to meis this:

"And I'd give up all I own to hear what he said when I wasn't listening to my old man"

Maybe it's because I'm older and a little wiser, or maybe it's because I have stepkids and a few others who've become my kids, but I really identify with this lyric.

My young life was never filled with yelling matches with my father. Anyone who knows Phil Engel knows he's way too happy go lucky and laid back to waste much energy on arguing. I wish I were more like him in that way.

I guess because my kids are stepkids and I didn't have to raise them from infancy that I don't totally relate to being a father. I married Taylor, Jordan and Maddison's mom when they were all teenagers. By that time, all the dirty diapers and temper tantrums were over (mostly).

I guess I hope my stepkids will listen to some of my guidance now. But, if they don't? No biggie. I wish I would have listened to my dad more growing up, but I think he knew I was going to have to make a lot of my own mistakes before I'd learn. And I know that for my kids, too. Nowadays, I want to be sure I'm also listening to my kids...if I can listen to my Dad, and still be open to listening to my kids, then I think that'll help me be more the kind of person I want to be: someone who's compassionate, caring and a good listener. I guess that's stuff I learned from My Old Man. Thanks, Dad...

One Crazy Table

Last night, we went out to eat with my father in law for Dad's Day. He's got a real quick wit and is a warehouse full of corny jokes...and this is usually displayed to the wait staff by the time the menus are passed out.

Last night, as our water was being served, he said to the waitress, "You're going to find that you're serving a bunch of crazy people..." This got a laugh from all of us, including the waitress.

The funny thing is, if anyone had walked up at different moments during the meal, they certainly WOULD have thought of us as crazy. In the couple hours we sat there, conversation touched upon the oil spill in the Gulf, black helicopters, UFOs, Pentecostal preachers from the 1970s, NPR,blogging, weapons and a slew of other topics. If a waiter or waitress swooped at any moment while one of these topics was being discussed, they could have very well thought all six of us WERE crazy.

Okay, now, singular focus back on yours truly. My wife and I were the first to arrived. We asked for a table for six and after we were seated, the hostess began placing menus and utensils around the table. I sat down into an uncomfortable wooden straightback chair and knew it was going to be a long night for me. See, due to recent surgeries, I still have a tender surgical incision between my navel and waistline. My jeans were pressing into the jeans and it was hard to get comfortable. I turned to my wife and quietly said, "I think I'm going to have to unbutton my pants."

Thing is? The hostess, unbeknownst to me, was still placing menus and utensils down...and apparently I hadn't spoken quietly enough. Once the rest of our family showed up, the wait staff, due to my gaff, already knew we were a bunch of crazies!

And, of course, I'm just kidding about the crazies part. Yet, if you walked past our table while someone said "UFOs", you might think we were crazy.

What do we learn from this? First and foremost that unless you sat there throughout the meal with six highly intelligent people, you wouldn't get an idea of our sanity. I've been very guilty in the past of thin slicing and pidegeon holing a person based on an initial reaction to a statement. This isn't fair nor accurate.

Realize that first impressions aren't always accurate. They're impressions; nothing more. They carry weight, sure, but if they are looked at as the gospel truth, that's really not fair.

Just take a little time before making a judgement...no matter if that determination turns out to be crazy or not!