E Mail Outbursts

Since the new year, I’ve been marketing like a madman. Figure with everyone back in the saddle of work again, it’s a perfect time to give my past and potential clients a reminder of who I am and what I do.

I belong to several different collegiate associations and use several different E mail lists for E mail marketing. I also keep a running list of anyone who replies and says, “Please take me off your mailing list.” And when they do, I, of course, honor their request.

This “Do Not Mail” list is one I’ve had for several years now. What I’m finding is interesting, to say the least.

See, sometimes it’s not, “Please take my name off your list.” Sometimes, it’s a tongue lashing, the likes of which may only be seen by the immaturity of trying to argue electronically. I used to get all offended by someone sending back a two paragraph rant about how they do not wish to receive unsolicited mail, how they have no interest, blah blah blah. Then, I just realized that if someone has to get that verbal about a single unsolicited E mail message that they’ve received no more than a couple times per year, well, that shows more about that person’s mindset than anything to do with me.

So, back to my interesting findings. As I go through these lists of “Do Not Mail Me” people, I’m finding they are no longer members of the associations. For whatever reason, their names aren’t on the list any more. If they were, I’d not E mail them, but they’re just not there.

No real idea if this is the case, but it does cause me to hypothesize a bit. And my bet is that he/she who sent me an ugly message wasn’t happy with his/her life. That person then, somewhere along the way, left that position for something that would take their stress level down a bit.

I decided long ago not to take those ugly messages personally. Still, that’s easier said than done. But it lends even more credence to my hypothesis when, just a year later, they’re no longer in the same role.

Do you take things personally? I do, usually. It’s a bad trait I’ve tried to diminish in myself…and it’s one that’s a constant struggle. But as I continue to do what I do, I’m just more convinced that when a mean commentary comes through, it’s more a reflection on that person than on me personally. If you have people/contacts in your life like this, too, I hope you’ll also begin to realize that outbursts aren’t about you, as much as they’re about the mindset of the person doing the outbursting.