February has always been Grammy month. For a music lover like moi, this is a big thing. When I was 14 and smack dab in the middle of my O.G. phase, I'd fire up the old VCR (remember those?), tape the Grammys and watch L.L. Cool J and Run DMC over and over and over again. Ah, good times!
But this year I admit I just wasn't that interested. This could mean I'm getting old, or that the glitz just isn't as impressive without Adidas sweat suits and ginormous gold chains. Yee-ahhh, boyz!
Either way, the day after the broadcast I heard a story from behind the scenes that made me wish I'd paid more attention. A couple hours before the curtain lifted, one of the acts pulled a No Show. The panicked producers began to brainstorm on who could pull off a last minute - Grammy worthy performance. Justin Timberlake had just finished his dress rehearsal when the producer cornered him. Seeing the look of panic on the producers face - before even knowing the problem, Timberlake immediately asked, "What can I do to help?"
Within half an hour, they'd pieced together an all-star duet by the Rev. Al Green and Justin Timberlake, backed up by Boyz II Men with Keith Urban on guitar. Even if you're not a fan of any of these musicians, ya gotta admit, it's a ton of talent for one stage to hold!
In a moment of crisis, when someone steps up to do something that isn't required, we usually call that person a hero. I may not go so far as to call Justin Timberlake a hero, but the producer sure might!
Truthfully, I'm not even real familiar with Justin Timberlake's music (other than "In A Box" from SNL - one of the funniest moments on that show... EVER!)
But, I am a HUGE fan of the, "What can I do to help?" attitude.
The reality is, we're living in some tough times. Some may even call it a crisis. No doubt about it, the economy and all the stress revolving around, well, pretty much everything might make you want to be the one looking to receive help. But here's something I believe is important: If you're feeling vulnerable - stop! Help someone else!
Having the "What can I do to help?" attitude immediately makes one feel prosperous and fortunate. And the help doesn't have to be financial; there are so many ways to offer assistance to another. And when you do, you'll automatically feel a little more stable and secure.
Anyone with any amount of success who is honest will tell you they didn't do it alone. We all need a little help, now and then. When you see another's crisis and step in to offer help, it creates a reciprocal attitude that will come back to help in your moments of need. That's just how the universe works.
Lend a hand. Give a dollar. Share your prosperity. Step in at the last moment to do a duet with Al Green (wouldn't mind doing this myself!) Whatever you can do to help another is assistance that benefits... everyone!
Marcus Engel is a professional speaker/author who inspires audiences to achieve success by making intelligent choices. Blinded by a drunk driver at age 18, Marcus battled through two years of recovery and 300 hours of reconstructive facial surgery to reach his goal of returning to college. After graduating from Missouri State University in 2000, Marcus began sharing his story professionally to audiences nationwide. In 2002, Marcus founded his own publishing company with the release of his autobiography, "After This...An Inspirational Journey For All the Wrong Reasons." His latest book, "The Other End of the Stethoscope" was released October 2006. His messages of empowerment and motivation have been witnessed by hundreds of thousands through his keynotes, his autobiography and his monthly newsletters. Marcus Engel is a speaker, a message, a story you will never forget! Visit http://www.MarcusEngel.com for more information!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marcus_Engel
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
C'Mon, People!
I’m no fan of B.S., denial and all around entitlement issues. That’s why I’ve been enjoying, “C’Mon, People!” by Bill Cosby so much.
Cosby has caught a lot of flack for calling out African Americans for, what he says, is an attitude which glorifies the negative which, in turn, diminishes the work of MLK, Malcolm X, Harriet Tubman and Fredrick Douglas.
In “C’Mon, People!” he even adds sidebars to chapters called, perfectly, “Call Outs.” These call outs are from well respected, educated individuals who share a montra of personal responsibility, as Cosby does. Here’s a comment from Dr. George McKenna which, I think, summarizes some important points for everyone…forget your race, this is good advice for humanity:
“We have to look at ourselves. We can’t be embarrassed by that, or offended by the one who holds up the mirror. Let’s say, ‘Okay, we know we got some problems. Let’s try to deal with them and stop blaming other folks.’” Now, when we underachieve, we compare ourselves to some other underachievers and celebrate being the best of the pitiful. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the definition of insanity. When you create an alternative reality and believe where you are is normal, you are insane.”
Whatcha think? Have you created your own version of reality? I’m guilty of this in the past, but (I hope), never again. It’s denial, pure and simple…and I choose to live in the real world, not a world I’ve mentally created where I feel more comfortable.
How about you? Have you ever re-written reality, just to make yourself happy? We all know reality can’t REALLY be re-written, but there are sometimes those who, after working really, really hard at it, can choose to view things to their favor-no matter which way reality falls. Those are the people who are infuriating and pathetic at the same time. And ya know? I’ve been one of these people. But after choosing to view reality instead of the pitiful world I’d created, I saw how reality, when looked at straight on, isn’t nearly as intimidating as we usually think it is.
Cosby has caught a lot of flack for calling out African Americans for, what he says, is an attitude which glorifies the negative which, in turn, diminishes the work of MLK, Malcolm X, Harriet Tubman and Fredrick Douglas.
In “C’Mon, People!” he even adds sidebars to chapters called, perfectly, “Call Outs.” These call outs are from well respected, educated individuals who share a montra of personal responsibility, as Cosby does. Here’s a comment from Dr. George McKenna which, I think, summarizes some important points for everyone…forget your race, this is good advice for humanity:
“We have to look at ourselves. We can’t be embarrassed by that, or offended by the one who holds up the mirror. Let’s say, ‘Okay, we know we got some problems. Let’s try to deal with them and stop blaming other folks.’” Now, when we underachieve, we compare ourselves to some other underachievers and celebrate being the best of the pitiful. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the definition of insanity. When you create an alternative reality and believe where you are is normal, you are insane.”
Whatcha think? Have you created your own version of reality? I’m guilty of this in the past, but (I hope), never again. It’s denial, pure and simple…and I choose to live in the real world, not a world I’ve mentally created where I feel more comfortable.
How about you? Have you ever re-written reality, just to make yourself happy? We all know reality can’t REALLY be re-written, but there are sometimes those who, after working really, really hard at it, can choose to view things to their favor-no matter which way reality falls. Those are the people who are infuriating and pathetic at the same time. And ya know? I’ve been one of these people. But after choosing to view reality instead of the pitiful world I’d created, I saw how reality, when looked at straight on, isn’t nearly as intimidating as we usually think it is.
Monday, February 16, 2009
DebeHoffman.com
As I recently posted, my friend (and the sister of my favorite nurse and "After This..." character, Barb DeWalle) Debe Hoffman, was recently diagnosed with leukemia. Her nephew, Mark, fought a long battle with a rare form of cancer and his web site, MarkDewalle.com, was a huge help before, during and after his passing to everyone who loves their family.
Debe is just entering the world of blogging with her own site, so if you'd like to see the first steps of her journey and offer her an encouraging word, you can find her at: www.DebeHoffman.com
Debe is just entering the world of blogging with her own site, so if you'd like to see the first steps of her journey and offer her an encouraging word, you can find her at: www.DebeHoffman.com
Friday, February 13, 2009
Ask, Listen, Learn
A month ago, both computers used to run my business were hit (we think) with a nasty computer virus. While neither Marvelyne nor I is qualified to diagnos this for sure, it's the most likely scenario when two computers, within 10 minutes of one another, have their operating system corrupted.
Even now, a month later, we're still mopping up the mess...and maybe creating a few more along the way. Yesterday, we realized Marvelyne's brand spanking new machine wasn't performing all it's functions. Quite literally, from noon until nearly 11 p.m., she sat in front of the computer, most of the time dealing with tech support. At one point early on, tech support had her do a full system restore (and if you're not geeky, this consists of taking every file, setting, driver, etc. off the hard drive and doing a process where by the machine starts anew.) Should this be necessary on a three week old machine? I think not.
Then, after fighting this battle into the late night, we learn the sad, hard truth...ya know that whole system restore you did about six hours ago? Yeah, that wasn't really necessary. Boom! Six plus hours down the crapper.
And why was this done? Because tech support did not ask questions. Instead, they jumped in at whatever point they could and started to run towards a goal. That's all fine and good, and I empathize with how tough it must be to deal with customers all day long who are always, ALWAYS in a pickle. Still, had more questions been asked before creating a diagnosis of the problem, we could have saved a day's work.
This isn't really an isolated occurrence, as I'm sure you know. It often happens where, without all the facts, someone jumps to conclusions, only to learn later that had they gathered more info, it would have led to a different outcome.
As I go into this coming weekend, one of my biggest goals is to remember to ask questions, gather info and make decisions once I have all the facts. Establishing this as a pattern is one of the things I personally need to work on-a lot! I hope this tech support example will show you, faithful reader, the benefits of asking questions, listening to the answers and, when all info is present, act accordingly.
Even now, a month later, we're still mopping up the mess...and maybe creating a few more along the way. Yesterday, we realized Marvelyne's brand spanking new machine wasn't performing all it's functions. Quite literally, from noon until nearly 11 p.m., she sat in front of the computer, most of the time dealing with tech support. At one point early on, tech support had her do a full system restore (and if you're not geeky, this consists of taking every file, setting, driver, etc. off the hard drive and doing a process where by the machine starts anew.) Should this be necessary on a three week old machine? I think not.
Then, after fighting this battle into the late night, we learn the sad, hard truth...ya know that whole system restore you did about six hours ago? Yeah, that wasn't really necessary. Boom! Six plus hours down the crapper.
And why was this done? Because tech support did not ask questions. Instead, they jumped in at whatever point they could and started to run towards a goal. That's all fine and good, and I empathize with how tough it must be to deal with customers all day long who are always, ALWAYS in a pickle. Still, had more questions been asked before creating a diagnosis of the problem, we could have saved a day's work.
This isn't really an isolated occurrence, as I'm sure you know. It often happens where, without all the facts, someone jumps to conclusions, only to learn later that had they gathered more info, it would have led to a different outcome.
As I go into this coming weekend, one of my biggest goals is to remember to ask questions, gather info and make decisions once I have all the facts. Establishing this as a pattern is one of the things I personally need to work on-a lot! I hope this tech support example will show you, faithful reader, the benefits of asking questions, listening to the answers and, when all info is present, act accordingly.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Taking A Chance On Something You Think You Won't Like
I could very well be the only person on earth who actually likes sardines. Weirdo, I know.
And really, what's to like? You have to open some oddball can, then look down at these little fishy bodies laying there, all stinky and covered in mustard with their little dead fishy bones sticking out of their dead fishy bodies. "Appetizing" is not the word that comes to mind.
But if I eat one of these things...wow! Granted, it's no Bissinger's Chocolate or anything, but it's still tasty!
And ya know how I know sardines are so good? I went against my "better judgement" (i.e. prejudice) and tried one. And the rest, as they say, is history...
Similar thing happened tonight. Whether it's blindness related, or just because I get bored easily, I'm not much of a movie buff. The video description service at our local Regal Cinema has changed my movie experiences for the better, but I'm just a hard sell on flicks. If I can set through the whole thing and it wasn't knock-my-socks-off fantastic, I keep thinking, "There's two hours and $30 I'll never get back."
So, why would I read movie reviews? I wouldn't usually. And why would I listen to radio podcasts of movie shows? Again, typically, I wouldn't.
My fav talk station, 97.1 FM out of STL, has a weekly program called Max On Movies. For someone who doesn't love film, I just pass over this section every time I'm grabbing my Dave Glover Show podcasts. My mistake!
See, I'm headed out on a four night work trip in a few days. Lots of plane time means lots of podcast time. So, figured I'd just stop in the Max On Movies spot and take a gander...man, shocker!
Sure, Max reviews the movies, but he also has a couple interviews with two of my favorite authors; Neil Gaimon and Chuck Palahnuick (did I get that spelling right?)
Both these authors would easily rank on my top 10 of all time favorite authors. Throw in Stephen King, Hunter S. Thompson, Ridley Pearson and Douglas Coupland and we've got a party (especially if Hunter S. Thompson brings the goods from "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"...which is highly improbable since he's dead. But, I digress...)
So, I downloaded these podcasts and am super, SUPER pumped to get to hear an interview with Neil Gaimon. I just discovered Gaimon's work within the last year or two and, since then, have been reading everything I can get my hands on of his. This is going to make for an especially interesting listen somewhere between here and Albany, or Albany and Wichita.
And who'd have thunk it? Me! Getting something cool out of movie talk! And just think, had I not reached in and grabbed that slimy sardine to learn how good they are, I'd never know the joys of fishy goodness! And if I'd just kept passing over Max on Movies, I wouldn't get the Gaimon interview, either!
Awesome!
And really, what's to like? You have to open some oddball can, then look down at these little fishy bodies laying there, all stinky and covered in mustard with their little dead fishy bones sticking out of their dead fishy bodies. "Appetizing" is not the word that comes to mind.
But if I eat one of these things...wow! Granted, it's no Bissinger's Chocolate or anything, but it's still tasty!
And ya know how I know sardines are so good? I went against my "better judgement" (i.e. prejudice) and tried one. And the rest, as they say, is history...
Similar thing happened tonight. Whether it's blindness related, or just because I get bored easily, I'm not much of a movie buff. The video description service at our local Regal Cinema has changed my movie experiences for the better, but I'm just a hard sell on flicks. If I can set through the whole thing and it wasn't knock-my-socks-off fantastic, I keep thinking, "There's two hours and $30 I'll never get back."
So, why would I read movie reviews? I wouldn't usually. And why would I listen to radio podcasts of movie shows? Again, typically, I wouldn't.
My fav talk station, 97.1 FM out of STL, has a weekly program called Max On Movies. For someone who doesn't love film, I just pass over this section every time I'm grabbing my Dave Glover Show podcasts. My mistake!
See, I'm headed out on a four night work trip in a few days. Lots of plane time means lots of podcast time. So, figured I'd just stop in the Max On Movies spot and take a gander...man, shocker!
Sure, Max reviews the movies, but he also has a couple interviews with two of my favorite authors; Neil Gaimon and Chuck Palahnuick (did I get that spelling right?)
Both these authors would easily rank on my top 10 of all time favorite authors. Throw in Stephen King, Hunter S. Thompson, Ridley Pearson and Douglas Coupland and we've got a party (especially if Hunter S. Thompson brings the goods from "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"...which is highly improbable since he's dead. But, I digress...)
So, I downloaded these podcasts and am super, SUPER pumped to get to hear an interview with Neil Gaimon. I just discovered Gaimon's work within the last year or two and, since then, have been reading everything I can get my hands on of his. This is going to make for an especially interesting listen somewhere between here and Albany, or Albany and Wichita.
And who'd have thunk it? Me! Getting something cool out of movie talk! And just think, had I not reached in and grabbed that slimy sardine to learn how good they are, I'd never know the joys of fishy goodness! And if I'd just kept passing over Max on Movies, I wouldn't get the Gaimon interview, either!
Awesome!
Happy Birthday, Carson!
Yep, that's right...it's Carson's 8th birthday!
And what does Carson want to do for his birthday? Well, he started off the morning with a yummy late breakfast (he had a big day at the doggy day spa yesterday, so he wanted to sleep in today.) Then, it was back to his bed for a mid-morning nap. This afternoon, he got extra play time in the yard, lots of extra scratches and he'll get his birthday present (a new Nylabone...but shh! Don't tell!) later tonight!
All fun stuff aside, this 8th birthday of Carson weighs on me a little bit. Yes, it seems just like yesterday that I came home from Jersey with this maniacal black Tazmanian Devil at the end of a harness. Took a little while for us to become a working team, but these days, it's hard to even remember those first years of breaking him in. And every dog lover has to face fact: dogs simply don't live as long as people. The Seeing Eye estimates a guide dog's working life to be 7 to 9 years. Carson is now at 6.5 years and I know his retirement is in the cards (though hopefully not for a few more years) On the whole, the last couple of years has only seen him slow up maybe 10%...and that's not much! Just like all of us, as he ages, I expect to see that more, but I'm pleasantly surprised that now, at the hitting of the big 8, he's still just about as spry andenergetic as when he was 3 or 4. I'll consider myself lucky for having had his presence in my life for the last 6.5 years, and toast Carson to as long of a working relationship as we can have...and then to the happiest (and most deserved) retirement any dog can have (and we'll all cross our fingers that's still several years away)...Happy Birthday, Carson!
And what does Carson want to do for his birthday? Well, he started off the morning with a yummy late breakfast (he had a big day at the doggy day spa yesterday, so he wanted to sleep in today.) Then, it was back to his bed for a mid-morning nap. This afternoon, he got extra play time in the yard, lots of extra scratches and he'll get his birthday present (a new Nylabone...but shh! Don't tell!) later tonight!
All fun stuff aside, this 8th birthday of Carson weighs on me a little bit. Yes, it seems just like yesterday that I came home from Jersey with this maniacal black Tazmanian Devil at the end of a harness. Took a little while for us to become a working team, but these days, it's hard to even remember those first years of breaking him in. And every dog lover has to face fact: dogs simply don't live as long as people. The Seeing Eye estimates a guide dog's working life to be 7 to 9 years. Carson is now at 6.5 years and I know his retirement is in the cards (though hopefully not for a few more years) On the whole, the last couple of years has only seen him slow up maybe 10%...and that's not much! Just like all of us, as he ages, I expect to see that more, but I'm pleasantly surprised that now, at the hitting of the big 8, he's still just about as spry andenergetic as when he was 3 or 4. I'll consider myself lucky for having had his presence in my life for the last 6.5 years, and toast Carson to as long of a working relationship as we can have...and then to the happiest (and most deserved) retirement any dog can have (and we'll all cross our fingers that's still several years away)...Happy Birthday, Carson!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Just Some Anonymous Names
I really suck at the whole "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" game. Could be just because I'm not a big movie buff, or could be because I'd rather concentrate my brain cells on the people I know personally, not those who starred in films with Kevin Bacon.
And yours truly knows a ton, A TON, of people. See, I have this philosophy:
Everyone in the world is a friend until they give me reason to think differently.
Unknown rice farmer in the hills of China? Yep, my friend. Random Ukranian woman I've never met? Friend. Medicine man in Bali? Buddy.
Yet, if you're like me, someone tells you of a tragedy with one of THEIR friends and it doesn't hit home like if I'd know this same person intimately. Sure, everyone says the appropriate things, "I'm sorry" or gives some helpful news, "I'll be praying for you..." but it's not nearly like when you know the person. So, if random Chinese rice farmer suddenly dies and I hear of it, my pain doesn't go terribly deep-even though I consider him a friend, it's not like we're intimate, dig?
But what about when you do know the people? What happens when you ARE intimate? It's a very, very different dynamic.
Right now, I have two people who are getting a lot of my mental, healing and praying energy, Debe and Hilary.
Let's start with Debe. Remember in my book, Barb, my favorite nurse? Wonderful woman who treated me like the 18 year old guy I was, not some anonymous patient. I will always, ALWAYS have a special place in my heart for how Barb took care of me when I couldn't take care of myself. Why did she do such a great job? First off, it's just who she is. But second, Barb had two sons, both around my age.
Notice I used the word "had." In 2007, at age 24, Barb's youngest son succumbed to a rare form of cancer. Devastating for anyone to lose a family member, but a son at such a young age is a bigger kick in the head.
As time has moved on and Barb has begun healing, we learn of another, Barb's sister, Debe. I've met Debe twice; first time at my book release event back in the fall of 06, second time was the day after her nephew, Mark, passed away. Just last week, we learned that Debe was diagnosed with leukemia. I know Debe by default through Barb, but as she (Debe) loves someone I love, it brings everything a step closer.
Now, let's bring it closer than that. Again, a character from my book, Hilary. Hil and I lived in the dorm together, took English classes together at Missouri State and, somewhere over the three years living in New Hall, became the best of friends. Hilary believed in me when I darned sure didn't believe in myself. Her friendship was a constant-something that isn't easy to maintain when you were friends with a guy as emotionally off kilter as I was that first couple of years of blindness. Hilary and I have stayed friends through those college years, post college and while she was in medical school and still, now 15 years later, we still talk a few times per month. Back in October while on my west coast tour, I was pumped to be able to spend the weekend with her at her home in Boise.
Two weeks ago, Hilary called with the news: she'd just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She's 33. You'd think with as many people as I know, I'd be a lot more likely to have lost a lot of friends-not so. Thankfully, other than older relatives, I've lost very few friends. When my BFF tells me she's got a cancer diagnosis, it causes me to take a good, long look at life and how fragile it really is. Nothing makes someone view their own mortality like a friend being diagnosed with something awful.
Well, good news on the Hilary front. The lumpectomy was performed yesterday, the cancer had not gotten into any lymph nodes and she should be released from the hospital in, oh, about five hours. As far as cancer goes, this is about the best case scenario.
So, back to the idea of anonymous names...chances are, you don't know Debe. Or Barb. Or Hilary. I do. They're my friends, not just a random name.
Although you may not know them, I'm asking for you to do them a favor. Hell, do ME a favor: If you're the praying kind, pray for them. If you're the meditating kind, throw some healing energies their way. If you're the athiest kind, hope for modern medicine to do it's thang and keep these people safe. They may be anonymous names to you, but to me, they're friends...
And yours truly knows a ton, A TON, of people. See, I have this philosophy:
Everyone in the world is a friend until they give me reason to think differently.
Unknown rice farmer in the hills of China? Yep, my friend. Random Ukranian woman I've never met? Friend. Medicine man in Bali? Buddy.
Yet, if you're like me, someone tells you of a tragedy with one of THEIR friends and it doesn't hit home like if I'd know this same person intimately. Sure, everyone says the appropriate things, "I'm sorry" or gives some helpful news, "I'll be praying for you..." but it's not nearly like when you know the person. So, if random Chinese rice farmer suddenly dies and I hear of it, my pain doesn't go terribly deep-even though I consider him a friend, it's not like we're intimate, dig?
But what about when you do know the people? What happens when you ARE intimate? It's a very, very different dynamic.
Right now, I have two people who are getting a lot of my mental, healing and praying energy, Debe and Hilary.
Let's start with Debe. Remember in my book, Barb, my favorite nurse? Wonderful woman who treated me like the 18 year old guy I was, not some anonymous patient. I will always, ALWAYS have a special place in my heart for how Barb took care of me when I couldn't take care of myself. Why did she do such a great job? First off, it's just who she is. But second, Barb had two sons, both around my age.
Notice I used the word "had." In 2007, at age 24, Barb's youngest son succumbed to a rare form of cancer. Devastating for anyone to lose a family member, but a son at such a young age is a bigger kick in the head.
As time has moved on and Barb has begun healing, we learn of another, Barb's sister, Debe. I've met Debe twice; first time at my book release event back in the fall of 06, second time was the day after her nephew, Mark, passed away. Just last week, we learned that Debe was diagnosed with leukemia. I know Debe by default through Barb, but as she (Debe) loves someone I love, it brings everything a step closer.
Now, let's bring it closer than that. Again, a character from my book, Hilary. Hil and I lived in the dorm together, took English classes together at Missouri State and, somewhere over the three years living in New Hall, became the best of friends. Hilary believed in me when I darned sure didn't believe in myself. Her friendship was a constant-something that isn't easy to maintain when you were friends with a guy as emotionally off kilter as I was that first couple of years of blindness. Hilary and I have stayed friends through those college years, post college and while she was in medical school and still, now 15 years later, we still talk a few times per month. Back in October while on my west coast tour, I was pumped to be able to spend the weekend with her at her home in Boise.
Two weeks ago, Hilary called with the news: she'd just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She's 33. You'd think with as many people as I know, I'd be a lot more likely to have lost a lot of friends-not so. Thankfully, other than older relatives, I've lost very few friends. When my BFF tells me she's got a cancer diagnosis, it causes me to take a good, long look at life and how fragile it really is. Nothing makes someone view their own mortality like a friend being diagnosed with something awful.
Well, good news on the Hilary front. The lumpectomy was performed yesterday, the cancer had not gotten into any lymph nodes and she should be released from the hospital in, oh, about five hours. As far as cancer goes, this is about the best case scenario.
So, back to the idea of anonymous names...chances are, you don't know Debe. Or Barb. Or Hilary. I do. They're my friends, not just a random name.
Although you may not know them, I'm asking for you to do them a favor. Hell, do ME a favor: If you're the praying kind, pray for them. If you're the meditating kind, throw some healing energies their way. If you're the athiest kind, hope for modern medicine to do it's thang and keep these people safe. They may be anonymous names to you, but to me, they're friends...
Monday, February 09, 2009
Because They Don't Have To...
As you may read on EE blog, I'm a Shriner. Funny hats, little cars, good times and a whole, WHOLE lot of love and financial support for the Shriners Hospitals for children.
At every stated meeting, different clubs within the Shrine present checks to help out the hospitals (for kids with orthapedic injuries, birth defects or burns, Shriners Hospitals offer free care. Like, totally free-even transportation).
At this past meeting, a club got up and presented a check from a fundraiser...for nearly $10,000. That's five figures, folks! And that was just one presentation but, by far, the largest I've seen since becoming a Shriner a year ago.
Following the $10K presentation, another fellow stood up to make a check presentation, this one for $50. That's $50, no extra zeros at the end. Looked kinda paltry after the $10K check presentation.
But then, we got to hear the story...
There's a little hole-in-the-wall bar and grill near the Shrine Club building in Sanford, Florida. After some of the meetings, Shriners will stop in for a libation or two. They've gotten to know the owner and the wait staff and, as Shriners usually are, they're generous with tips.
Completely on their own, with no Shriner involvement whatsoever, this bar decided to do a little fundraiser during the Superbowl. During that fundraiser, they came up with $50. That check was passed along to our stated meeting and went right into the transportation fund.
When you get the story, it makes that $50 seem a lot, lot bigger. Why? Because the bar didn't have to do that. They have no obligation to raise funds for any chairity, much less for ours. They're not founded around a mission of philanthropy-they're just a bar. And they didn't have to do anything...they just wanted to.
And that, faithful reader, is the kind of donation that makes $10K donations seem a little less grand...and $50 to seem a whole, whole lot more valueable.
At every stated meeting, different clubs within the Shrine present checks to help out the hospitals (for kids with orthapedic injuries, birth defects or burns, Shriners Hospitals offer free care. Like, totally free-even transportation).
At this past meeting, a club got up and presented a check from a fundraiser...for nearly $10,000. That's five figures, folks! And that was just one presentation but, by far, the largest I've seen since becoming a Shriner a year ago.
Following the $10K presentation, another fellow stood up to make a check presentation, this one for $50. That's $50, no extra zeros at the end. Looked kinda paltry after the $10K check presentation.
But then, we got to hear the story...
There's a little hole-in-the-wall bar and grill near the Shrine Club building in Sanford, Florida. After some of the meetings, Shriners will stop in for a libation or two. They've gotten to know the owner and the wait staff and, as Shriners usually are, they're generous with tips.
Completely on their own, with no Shriner involvement whatsoever, this bar decided to do a little fundraiser during the Superbowl. During that fundraiser, they came up with $50. That check was passed along to our stated meeting and went right into the transportation fund.
When you get the story, it makes that $50 seem a lot, lot bigger. Why? Because the bar didn't have to do that. They have no obligation to raise funds for any chairity, much less for ours. They're not founded around a mission of philanthropy-they're just a bar. And they didn't have to do anything...they just wanted to.
And that, faithful reader, is the kind of donation that makes $10K donations seem a little less grand...and $50 to seem a whole, whole lot more valueable.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Is Marcus MIA?
Well, yeah, sorta. I'm fine, just been ridiculously swamped. During the first real work week of the new year, within 10 minutes, both my computer AND Marvelyne's computer were hit with a massive computer virus. Bam! No windows, no working machines-nothing. Even now, weeks later, we're still trying to mop up the mess. This caused a purchase of a new machine for each of us, but mine hasn't even arrived. Moving into a new machine, new OS and new JAWS software could mean I'll continue to be MIA for a bit...but cross your fingers it all works out okay.
Secondly, mE's mother had surgery and that same week, my parents arrived into town to start their snowbird vacation. We were hopping for a few days, but it's so good to have family visit at any time.
Thirdly (is that a word?), it's just been life in general. Early last week, I spoke at Detroit Country Day School and, if the 200 new Facebook friends is any indication, the students had as good of a time as I! Pics to come as soon as our computer systems get a little more established.
And now? Here I sit, on my couch, feet up with a remote in hand, ready to watch the Superbowl! Actually, I could care less about who's playing the game-I just want to see The Boss do his thang!
With Tom Petty last year, and Springsteen this year, I'm glad to see the NFL getting rock icons to perform the halftime show...the days of Brittany Spears out there wearing a sock on her arm are over...and should stay that way. So, bring on the Boss!
Secondly, mE's mother had surgery and that same week, my parents arrived into town to start their snowbird vacation. We were hopping for a few days, but it's so good to have family visit at any time.
Thirdly (is that a word?), it's just been life in general. Early last week, I spoke at Detroit Country Day School and, if the 200 new Facebook friends is any indication, the students had as good of a time as I! Pics to come as soon as our computer systems get a little more established.
And now? Here I sit, on my couch, feet up with a remote in hand, ready to watch the Superbowl! Actually, I could care less about who's playing the game-I just want to see The Boss do his thang!
With Tom Petty last year, and Springsteen this year, I'm glad to see the NFL getting rock icons to perform the halftime show...the days of Brittany Spears out there wearing a sock on her arm are over...and should stay that way. So, bring on the Boss!
Monday, January 19, 2009
E Mail Outbursts
Since the new year, I’ve been marketing like a madman. Figure with everyone back in the saddle of work again, it’s a perfect time to give my past and potential clients a reminder of who I am and what I do.
I belong to several different collegiate associations and use several different E mail lists for E mail marketing. I also keep a running list of anyone who replies and says, “Please take me off your mailing list.” And when they do, I, of course, honor their request.
This “Do Not Mail” list is one I’ve had for several years now. What I’m finding is interesting, to say the least.
See, sometimes it’s not, “Please take my name off your list.” Sometimes, it’s a tongue lashing, the likes of which may only be seen by the immaturity of trying to argue electronically. I used to get all offended by someone sending back a two paragraph rant about how they do not wish to receive unsolicited mail, how they have no interest, blah blah blah. Then, I just realized that if someone has to get that verbal about a single unsolicited E mail message that they’ve received no more than a couple times per year, well, that shows more about that person’s mindset than anything to do with me.
So, back to my interesting findings. As I go through these lists of “Do Not Mail Me” people, I’m finding they are no longer members of the associations. For whatever reason, their names aren’t on the list any more. If they were, I’d not E mail them, but they’re just not there.
No real idea if this is the case, but it does cause me to hypothesize a bit. And my bet is that he/she who sent me an ugly message wasn’t happy with his/her life. That person then, somewhere along the way, left that position for something that would take their stress level down a bit.
I decided long ago not to take those ugly messages personally. Still, that’s easier said than done. But it lends even more credence to my hypothesis when, just a year later, they’re no longer in the same role.
Do you take things personally? I do, usually. It’s a bad trait I’ve tried to diminish in myself…and it’s one that’s a constant struggle. But as I continue to do what I do, I’m just more convinced that when a mean commentary comes through, it’s more a reflection on that person than on me personally. If you have people/contacts in your life like this, too, I hope you’ll also begin to realize that outbursts aren’t about you, as much as they’re about the mindset of the person doing the outbursting.
I belong to several different collegiate associations and use several different E mail lists for E mail marketing. I also keep a running list of anyone who replies and says, “Please take me off your mailing list.” And when they do, I, of course, honor their request.
This “Do Not Mail” list is one I’ve had for several years now. What I’m finding is interesting, to say the least.
See, sometimes it’s not, “Please take my name off your list.” Sometimes, it’s a tongue lashing, the likes of which may only be seen by the immaturity of trying to argue electronically. I used to get all offended by someone sending back a two paragraph rant about how they do not wish to receive unsolicited mail, how they have no interest, blah blah blah. Then, I just realized that if someone has to get that verbal about a single unsolicited E mail message that they’ve received no more than a couple times per year, well, that shows more about that person’s mindset than anything to do with me.
So, back to my interesting findings. As I go through these lists of “Do Not Mail Me” people, I’m finding they are no longer members of the associations. For whatever reason, their names aren’t on the list any more. If they were, I’d not E mail them, but they’re just not there.
No real idea if this is the case, but it does cause me to hypothesize a bit. And my bet is that he/she who sent me an ugly message wasn’t happy with his/her life. That person then, somewhere along the way, left that position for something that would take their stress level down a bit.
I decided long ago not to take those ugly messages personally. Still, that’s easier said than done. But it lends even more credence to my hypothesis when, just a year later, they’re no longer in the same role.
Do you take things personally? I do, usually. It’s a bad trait I’ve tried to diminish in myself…and it’s one that’s a constant struggle. But as I continue to do what I do, I’m just more convinced that when a mean commentary comes through, it’s more a reflection on that person than on me personally. If you have people/contacts in your life like this, too, I hope you’ll also begin to realize that outbursts aren’t about you, as much as they’re about the mindset of the person doing the outbursting.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Missouri Lifesaving Measures
Do you live in Missouri? Are you alive? Would you like to stay that way?
If so, please help support some initiatives put forth by my friends at the Missouri Division of Highway Safety and visit
www.SaveMOlives.com
Until it passes, Hwy Safety (and other safety groups) will continue to support primary safety belt lawss and this is a way Missourians can get involved in such a worthwhile effort.
If so, please help support some initiatives put forth by my friends at the Missouri Division of Highway Safety and visit
www.SaveMOlives.com
Until it passes, Hwy Safety (and other safety groups) will continue to support primary safety belt lawss and this is a way Missourians can get involved in such a worthwhile effort.
Friday, January 09, 2009
War Should Not Be Normality
A few nights ago, I was having a conversation with my friend, Jim. Let me give you a little background on Jim and maybe you’ll see why our conversation was, well, perplexing…
Jim is in his early 60s, moved to Orlando from New York about a decade ago but Jim is not a native New Yorker. He was, in fact, born in Hungary. In the post World War II re-building time, his family fled Europe with nothing more than the clothes on their backs. While he wasn’t born until after the war and the horrors of the holocaust, Jim’s family (which is Jewish) wanted to leave the scars of the death camps behind. Hence, they headed west for the American dream…and they found it.
So, there’s his history. His today is a successful businessman and a voracious observer of current affairs. Politics, world events, the economy, if I want to know something that’s going on, I don’t flip on CNN-I ask Jim.
Yet, like we all do, Jim brings a bit of his own opinion to the table. With the whole Israeli/Gaza happenings as of late, I asked Jim’s opinions on what’s going on.
He said, “Well, today wasn’t a very good day. Hamass fired a rocket and when the Israelis returned fire, they hit a school being used as a shelter. I think about 35 people died.”
This is tough to relay. Not his words, but his tone. It was as if he were talking about a sick child who had a slight set back on the way to recovery. Nothing overly emotional, nothing too sad. Kinda like someone who had hip surgery and is told they’ll have to use the walker another week. Frustrating, but not at all devastating.
And yet? This kind of violence has accompanied Jim all his life. His grandmother lost several of her children in Auschwitz. Some of Jim’s earliest memories are of his grandmother just weeping and weeping for days on end. And throughout his lifetime, he’s watched the skirmishes, attacks and bombings involving Israel. I can’t say he treats it like an on-going soap opera, but his casual nature at word of dozens of people dying was disconcerting. And yet, when Israel, the center of the Jewish world, has been in constant conflict since it’s post World War 2 inception, it stands to reason de-sensitization would occur.
The rest of us (Gentiles, as Jim would playfully say) have never had to see our friends, relatives and those with whom we share a faith as attacked as Israel. And to that, I say…good. War should not be normal. An entire country should not have bombings, gun fire and war as an every day occurrence. People should not be so used to horrors and violence that the deaths of dozens are treated like someone breaking a dinner date due to illness.
This interaction just makes me sad. I hate that people have to live with an on-going threat of violence. I hate that more people in the world aren’t as lucky as we Americans who get to walk down the block without fear of being fired upon. And more than anything, it just makes me feel lucky.
Jim is in his early 60s, moved to Orlando from New York about a decade ago but Jim is not a native New Yorker. He was, in fact, born in Hungary. In the post World War II re-building time, his family fled Europe with nothing more than the clothes on their backs. While he wasn’t born until after the war and the horrors of the holocaust, Jim’s family (which is Jewish) wanted to leave the scars of the death camps behind. Hence, they headed west for the American dream…and they found it.
So, there’s his history. His today is a successful businessman and a voracious observer of current affairs. Politics, world events, the economy, if I want to know something that’s going on, I don’t flip on CNN-I ask Jim.
Yet, like we all do, Jim brings a bit of his own opinion to the table. With the whole Israeli/Gaza happenings as of late, I asked Jim’s opinions on what’s going on.
He said, “Well, today wasn’t a very good day. Hamass fired a rocket and when the Israelis returned fire, they hit a school being used as a shelter. I think about 35 people died.”
This is tough to relay. Not his words, but his tone. It was as if he were talking about a sick child who had a slight set back on the way to recovery. Nothing overly emotional, nothing too sad. Kinda like someone who had hip surgery and is told they’ll have to use the walker another week. Frustrating, but not at all devastating.
And yet? This kind of violence has accompanied Jim all his life. His grandmother lost several of her children in Auschwitz. Some of Jim’s earliest memories are of his grandmother just weeping and weeping for days on end. And throughout his lifetime, he’s watched the skirmishes, attacks and bombings involving Israel. I can’t say he treats it like an on-going soap opera, but his casual nature at word of dozens of people dying was disconcerting. And yet, when Israel, the center of the Jewish world, has been in constant conflict since it’s post World War 2 inception, it stands to reason de-sensitization would occur.
The rest of us (Gentiles, as Jim would playfully say) have never had to see our friends, relatives and those with whom we share a faith as attacked as Israel. And to that, I say…good. War should not be normal. An entire country should not have bombings, gun fire and war as an every day occurrence. People should not be so used to horrors and violence that the deaths of dozens are treated like someone breaking a dinner date due to illness.
This interaction just makes me sad. I hate that people have to live with an on-going threat of violence. I hate that more people in the world aren’t as lucky as we Americans who get to walk down the block without fear of being fired upon. And more than anything, it just makes me feel lucky.
Monday, January 05, 2009
"I Was Just Lonely"
A couple weeks ago, I had dinner with my new friend, Jason. Jason is a Sheriff’s Deputy. He’s been a cop for the last several years and, to me, the reason he’s been promoted and gets such respect is due to an attitude more cops should have. That is, not only the consummate crimefighter, busting down doors, making arrests, getting in shootouts - ya know, Miami Vice 20 years later.
Rather, Jason told me a story of one of the many 911 calls he responded to. See, if someone makes a 911 call, no matter what, the cops must investigate. Even if someone calls, hangs up, calls back and says, “Don’t worry about it… my cat stepped on the phone and dialed y’all”, the cops still go out.
One night, Jason was dispatched to a 911 hang up call. The caller didn’t utter a word, just dialed the digits and hung up. As Jason says, “These are the worst because you never know what you’re getting into.”
He and another cop show up at the residence. All is quiet, no outward signs of disrupt. They go up to the house, knock and are greeted by a middle aged man. Nothing seems to be the matter, so they ask, “Did you call 911?” He looked down and said, “Yeah, I did. I was just lonely and wanted someone to talk to.”
Folks, this caller is a Vietnam War vet. According to Jason’s unprofessional diagnosis, the vet is still plagued with signs of PTSD. He’s checked out from society, for the most part, but still desires that simple human interaction which everyone needs.
Upon learning there was no emergency, Jason’s partner turned to Jason and said, “C’mon… let’s go.” And he’s kinda right - there’s enough true crime going on that the cops can always have something to run off to. But Jason made him reconsider. “We’re not real busy tonight, let’s just hang out with him for a few minutes. It doesn’t cost anyone anything and might keep him from calling again later.” So, they did.
That proactive, compassionate community policing is the kind of thing we SHOULD be seeing on the nightly news… but sadly, we don’t. It’s not nearly as entertaining to the viewer as watching a SWAT team swarm in on a fugitive. It’s not as dramatic as a rollover crash on the highway. It’s not as fun as watching the cops apprehend the homeless schizophrenic who is walking down the highway naked. Yet? If there’s a problem in the neighborhood, do you think this vet will be there to help out the cops? You bet your badge!
More than anything (even more than Jason’s kindness), I’m struck by just how much loneliness there is in the world. When someone is willing to commit a crime (and dialing 911 in a non-emergency IS a crime) just because they need some human interaction, it just makes me hurt for those people.
What can you do with this information? First, look around. Who do you see who is lonely? Who do you know who may appreciate a five minute conversation? Then… is there any reason you can’t give five minutes of time to that person? And what else could you do to help them? Sometimes, just a smile is the best gift you can give!
Rather, Jason told me a story of one of the many 911 calls he responded to. See, if someone makes a 911 call, no matter what, the cops must investigate. Even if someone calls, hangs up, calls back and says, “Don’t worry about it… my cat stepped on the phone and dialed y’all”, the cops still go out.
One night, Jason was dispatched to a 911 hang up call. The caller didn’t utter a word, just dialed the digits and hung up. As Jason says, “These are the worst because you never know what you’re getting into.”
He and another cop show up at the residence. All is quiet, no outward signs of disrupt. They go up to the house, knock and are greeted by a middle aged man. Nothing seems to be the matter, so they ask, “Did you call 911?” He looked down and said, “Yeah, I did. I was just lonely and wanted someone to talk to.”
Folks, this caller is a Vietnam War vet. According to Jason’s unprofessional diagnosis, the vet is still plagued with signs of PTSD. He’s checked out from society, for the most part, but still desires that simple human interaction which everyone needs.
Upon learning there was no emergency, Jason’s partner turned to Jason and said, “C’mon… let’s go.” And he’s kinda right - there’s enough true crime going on that the cops can always have something to run off to. But Jason made him reconsider. “We’re not real busy tonight, let’s just hang out with him for a few minutes. It doesn’t cost anyone anything and might keep him from calling again later.” So, they did.
That proactive, compassionate community policing is the kind of thing we SHOULD be seeing on the nightly news… but sadly, we don’t. It’s not nearly as entertaining to the viewer as watching a SWAT team swarm in on a fugitive. It’s not as dramatic as a rollover crash on the highway. It’s not as fun as watching the cops apprehend the homeless schizophrenic who is walking down the highway naked. Yet? If there’s a problem in the neighborhood, do you think this vet will be there to help out the cops? You bet your badge!
More than anything (even more than Jason’s kindness), I’m struck by just how much loneliness there is in the world. When someone is willing to commit a crime (and dialing 911 in a non-emergency IS a crime) just because they need some human interaction, it just makes me hurt for those people.
What can you do with this information? First, look around. Who do you see who is lonely? Who do you know who may appreciate a five minute conversation? Then… is there any reason you can’t give five minutes of time to that person? And what else could you do to help them? Sometimes, just a smile is the best gift you can give!
Friday, January 02, 2009
Shriner Silence
Once per month, all Shriners from my Bahia Shrine Temple are supposed to attend the stated meeting. At a stated meeting, there’s lots of pomp and circumstance, along with the presentation of nobility, checks to the hospitals, reports on the work being done by each organization within the Shrine, etc. Stated meetings are important, but they are, in a word: BoR-ING!
After so much recognition of past presidents, discussion of some of the more mundane business, etc., I’m ready to sneak out and do something stimulating to my brain. Often times, too, a Shriner will have the floor to discuss an upcoming event, taking 30 seconds of necessary information and turning it into a five minute speech. Inefficiency is always one of my biggest pet peeves, so I’m usually chomping at the bit to get out of Dodge about halfway through the meeting.
At our meeting last month, our moderator recognized a fellow Shriner, Gary Bergenske. Gary is an extremely high ranking Shriner; so high that he’ll likely some day be the highest ranking Shriner in the entire international body.
About two hours into the meeting, the moderator recognized Gary and asked, “Gary, do you have any words of wisdom you’d like to share with the nobles?”
A cheer went up when Gary replied, “None whatsoever!”
Silence is golden…but after hours on end of useless jabber, it’s more valuable than gold. Maybe it’s platinum. Or titanium. Or diamond. Either way, knowing what the constituents want, then giving it to them, is the quickest way to gain the respect of an organization you lead. Gary knows this. Real leaders do. And leaders respect the time of their subordinates, not filling it with useless self promotion, just to hear him/herself talk. I, for one, am ready to bear hug anyone who’ll get me out of time wasting events…and I think when Gary gave his non-statement, there were about 200 other guys who were right behind me in line!
Remember…silence is sometimes the very best thing you can say!
After so much recognition of past presidents, discussion of some of the more mundane business, etc., I’m ready to sneak out and do something stimulating to my brain. Often times, too, a Shriner will have the floor to discuss an upcoming event, taking 30 seconds of necessary information and turning it into a five minute speech. Inefficiency is always one of my biggest pet peeves, so I’m usually chomping at the bit to get out of Dodge about halfway through the meeting.
At our meeting last month, our moderator recognized a fellow Shriner, Gary Bergenske. Gary is an extremely high ranking Shriner; so high that he’ll likely some day be the highest ranking Shriner in the entire international body.
About two hours into the meeting, the moderator recognized Gary and asked, “Gary, do you have any words of wisdom you’d like to share with the nobles?”
A cheer went up when Gary replied, “None whatsoever!”
Silence is golden…but after hours on end of useless jabber, it’s more valuable than gold. Maybe it’s platinum. Or titanium. Or diamond. Either way, knowing what the constituents want, then giving it to them, is the quickest way to gain the respect of an organization you lead. Gary knows this. Real leaders do. And leaders respect the time of their subordinates, not filling it with useless self promotion, just to hear him/herself talk. I, for one, am ready to bear hug anyone who’ll get me out of time wasting events…and I think when Gary gave his non-statement, there were about 200 other guys who were right behind me in line!
Remember…silence is sometimes the very best thing you can say!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
How Not To Fail At Resolutions
Do you make resolutions? If so, do you keep them?
Studies show the vast majority of folks who make resolutions end up failing to meet said promises. Shocking, right? I think the reason so many people fail is because they state a gigantic, almost unobtainable goal. Then, the icing on the cake? They set multiple goals, making it even more difficult!
Losing weight is a big goal. So is quitting smoking. So are a lot of the big lifestyle change resolutions. The thing is, one is tough, two? Really, REALLY tough.
When using the whole resolution-making time, I flash back to goal setting workshops and being SMART(acronym for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely). Usually, resolutions include a few of these, but without the full combination of SMART, there’s no blueprint for success.
A few years ago, I sat in on a workshop given by a business expert. As an entrepreneur, he discouraged business plans, instead opting for a marketing plan. Thinking being, if you set a marketing plan into motion, the business will follow. Makes sense to me!
So when it comes to resolutions, I make small, frequent changes the goal. Like, instead of resolving to lose 40 lbs., I’m resolving to get on the treadmill for 30 minutes every day. Keeping this promise means I will, in fact, lose the extra weight. Instead of resolving to be a kinder, gentler person, I’m resolving to meditate for a minimum of five minutes every day. If I do this, a calm will certainly follow. Instead of resolving to have my best financial year ever, in spite of a slow economy, I’m making the resolution to make a minimum of 100 new contacts per week, blog at least once per week on my other blogs, and finish one new chapter per week in “The Other End Of The Stethoscope #2.” Again, when I do these things, the success I want is sure to follow.
Instead of setting ginormous goals, this year, resolve to do the little things that lead to the successes you want!
Studies show the vast majority of folks who make resolutions end up failing to meet said promises. Shocking, right? I think the reason so many people fail is because they state a gigantic, almost unobtainable goal. Then, the icing on the cake? They set multiple goals, making it even more difficult!
Losing weight is a big goal. So is quitting smoking. So are a lot of the big lifestyle change resolutions. The thing is, one is tough, two? Really, REALLY tough.
When using the whole resolution-making time, I flash back to goal setting workshops and being SMART(acronym for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely). Usually, resolutions include a few of these, but without the full combination of SMART, there’s no blueprint for success.
A few years ago, I sat in on a workshop given by a business expert. As an entrepreneur, he discouraged business plans, instead opting for a marketing plan. Thinking being, if you set a marketing plan into motion, the business will follow. Makes sense to me!
So when it comes to resolutions, I make small, frequent changes the goal. Like, instead of resolving to lose 40 lbs., I’m resolving to get on the treadmill for 30 minutes every day. Keeping this promise means I will, in fact, lose the extra weight. Instead of resolving to be a kinder, gentler person, I’m resolving to meditate for a minimum of five minutes every day. If I do this, a calm will certainly follow. Instead of resolving to have my best financial year ever, in spite of a slow economy, I’m making the resolution to make a minimum of 100 new contacts per week, blog at least once per week on my other blogs, and finish one new chapter per week in “The Other End Of The Stethoscope #2.” Again, when I do these things, the success I want is sure to follow.
Instead of setting ginormous goals, this year, resolve to do the little things that lead to the successes you want!
2008-The Year That Was
Since it’s December 31, I, like most everyone, am reflecting back on the last 365 days. Where was I a year ago? Physically, mentally, emotionally? What have I experienced, accomplished and learned from this year? Let’s just do some bloviating on the subject…
I’ve now spent one full calendar year as a married guy. Do I enjoy being married? Absolutely! For all the belly aching by comedians, friends and talk shows, you’d think marriage was a death sentence. Not so, Al Bundy. It is a constant challenge to meld the lives of two individuals, especially when each brings so much history to the table. Yet, every pinch, grumble or tense maritial situation is a teaching tool. At least, that’s how I’ve chosen to view it. In this year, I’ve learned a lot of ways to better control myself, give up control in unnecessary areas and be more Zen about my closest relationships. Lots of stuff learned in 08, but this is likely the most precious.
In August came the double whammy. My stepson, Jordan, left home and started his freshman year at the University of Florida. My stepdaughter, Maddison, made the wise and mature choice to re-create herself into the person she wants to be. That’s a wonderful thing…but it did lead to her choosing to do this by living with her father in Texas. In the span of 13 months, I went from single guy to stepfather to empty nester. Ain’t no one can say I move slow!
It was tough giving up both kids to the lives they’ve chosen, but ultimately, I’ve learned, that’s what every parent should hope for: children growing up healthy, happy and motivated to create the best life possible.
2008 was a weird sort of year, career wise. I learned that in business, if someone does not meet a set deadline, do not hesitate to end that working relationship…immediately. This came after being screwed around for a mere nine months by my graphic designer. Giving folks the benefit of the doubt is good, but at some point, it just becomes someone taking advantage of your good naturedness. Drawing boundaries with business relationships is just as valueable as interpersonal relationships.
Another business lesson from 08 is simply to trust my gut. In May, I parted ways with the college bureau which had been “booking” me for the previous year. Had I listened to my gut instead of empty promises, I could have saved a lot of time, money and stress. This situation also reinforced the old Simon & Garfunkel lyric, “A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.” I’ve never been a fan of people who take no personal responsibility, but I’ve found that in business, it’s even more distasteful.
And speaking of personal responsibility, I failed in some of my blogging goals. I have the goal to blog every day. In 2008? Not even close. I do, however, hope the quality of blog posts is more meaningful than quantity. Throw in the creation of “Drunk Driving Speaker” and “Health Care Speaker” blogs which began back in the spring and I hope my lack of Engel’s Ensights posts will be looked at as less of a failure, and more of an expansion.
2008 was the year of increased technology for yours truly, too. When I began the year, I was at the same point technologically as I’d been for the previous several years. Thanks to my good buddy in Houston, Ron Graham, I’ve absorbed some geeky technological advancements that have increased the quality of my life. First? The purchase of a Victor Reader Stream from Humanware. If you’re blind or know someone who is, this is a device which has changed my life…and will probably do the same for many others. Now, instead of carrying around a walkman-ish four track tape player with one book, I’m toting a smaller digital device with over 30 books at a time, not to mention dozens of movies, podcasts, voice notes and albums. It’s like having an entire accessible library at my fingertips-and let me tell ya, when you live on planes like I do, you’re looking for every bit of entertainment you can find!
Second big tech advance? My ability to text message with my Pantech Duo phone with accessible software. Granted, texting is nothing new, but since I’ve been able to text, it’s bonded me closer to my stepkids than anything else has been able to do. Gotta talk to them in their own language, after all!
In the span of a month this spring, I presented at two very different high schools with very different students, but both taught me a great lesson: people are just people.
See, in March, I presented for a small, private Catholic high school in the mid-west. This school gives low income, underprivledged kids the opportunity for a great education, coupling that with life skills on the job. The kids at St. Peter Claver, Cristo Rey High in Omaha turned out to be some of the most generous, loving, insightful students I’ve had the pleasure of working with.
The following month, I spoke for Rye Country Day High School in Rye, NY. This school is private, selective, wealthy and the students? Exactly the same as those in Omaha. People are just people. Kids are just kids. Love all people, treat everyone equally and fairly and I think you’ll find the majority of differences are only apparent if you’re looking for them.
Globally. Well, any genius can see our economic markets rise and fall (mostly falling). For a while, I sat in anxious silence, grinding my teeth together, feeling nauseous and fearing the entire economy will come tumbling down. Then? I’m left with an economy in which I cannot thrive nor survive. But alas, a wise man once said, “Change the things you can “(this would be my old principal, BTW). As best I could, I’ve let this turmoil go. Do I still fear a further downturn in our economy? Sure! But I refuse to let it seep into my every thought. Life is too short to worry.
Politically: Election years suck. I got so flipping sick of all the negative press, all the ridiculous promises of candidates, all the people that feel a new president will either make or break our country. Not so, not so. Now that we have a new president, I’m happy all the election stuff is over. I’m also excited to support our new leader and hope folks will remember one thing that’s often forgotten: at the end of the day, we’re all Americans (well, other than the people who aren’t Americans)
Geographically, I learned to love some new places this year. Namely, Austin, Texas and Los Angeles. Both cities bring along their fair share of stereotyping, but open your eyes to the positive and you’ll see it, same as with anything.
Were there other 2008 things I’d like to share? Sure! But this is a blog, not a novel. So, with that wrap up, I’ll bid a fond farewell to 2008, welcome 09 in with open arms and wish everyone a happy new year!
I’ve now spent one full calendar year as a married guy. Do I enjoy being married? Absolutely! For all the belly aching by comedians, friends and talk shows, you’d think marriage was a death sentence. Not so, Al Bundy. It is a constant challenge to meld the lives of two individuals, especially when each brings so much history to the table. Yet, every pinch, grumble or tense maritial situation is a teaching tool. At least, that’s how I’ve chosen to view it. In this year, I’ve learned a lot of ways to better control myself, give up control in unnecessary areas and be more Zen about my closest relationships. Lots of stuff learned in 08, but this is likely the most precious.
In August came the double whammy. My stepson, Jordan, left home and started his freshman year at the University of Florida. My stepdaughter, Maddison, made the wise and mature choice to re-create herself into the person she wants to be. That’s a wonderful thing…but it did lead to her choosing to do this by living with her father in Texas. In the span of 13 months, I went from single guy to stepfather to empty nester. Ain’t no one can say I move slow!
It was tough giving up both kids to the lives they’ve chosen, but ultimately, I’ve learned, that’s what every parent should hope for: children growing up healthy, happy and motivated to create the best life possible.
2008 was a weird sort of year, career wise. I learned that in business, if someone does not meet a set deadline, do not hesitate to end that working relationship…immediately. This came after being screwed around for a mere nine months by my graphic designer. Giving folks the benefit of the doubt is good, but at some point, it just becomes someone taking advantage of your good naturedness. Drawing boundaries with business relationships is just as valueable as interpersonal relationships.
Another business lesson from 08 is simply to trust my gut. In May, I parted ways with the college bureau which had been “booking” me for the previous year. Had I listened to my gut instead of empty promises, I could have saved a lot of time, money and stress. This situation also reinforced the old Simon & Garfunkel lyric, “A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.” I’ve never been a fan of people who take no personal responsibility, but I’ve found that in business, it’s even more distasteful.
And speaking of personal responsibility, I failed in some of my blogging goals. I have the goal to blog every day. In 2008? Not even close. I do, however, hope the quality of blog posts is more meaningful than quantity. Throw in the creation of “Drunk Driving Speaker” and “Health Care Speaker” blogs which began back in the spring and I hope my lack of Engel’s Ensights posts will be looked at as less of a failure, and more of an expansion.
2008 was the year of increased technology for yours truly, too. When I began the year, I was at the same point technologically as I’d been for the previous several years. Thanks to my good buddy in Houston, Ron Graham, I’ve absorbed some geeky technological advancements that have increased the quality of my life. First? The purchase of a Victor Reader Stream from Humanware. If you’re blind or know someone who is, this is a device which has changed my life…and will probably do the same for many others. Now, instead of carrying around a walkman-ish four track tape player with one book, I’m toting a smaller digital device with over 30 books at a time, not to mention dozens of movies, podcasts, voice notes and albums. It’s like having an entire accessible library at my fingertips-and let me tell ya, when you live on planes like I do, you’re looking for every bit of entertainment you can find!
Second big tech advance? My ability to text message with my Pantech Duo phone with accessible software. Granted, texting is nothing new, but since I’ve been able to text, it’s bonded me closer to my stepkids than anything else has been able to do. Gotta talk to them in their own language, after all!
In the span of a month this spring, I presented at two very different high schools with very different students, but both taught me a great lesson: people are just people.
See, in March, I presented for a small, private Catholic high school in the mid-west. This school gives low income, underprivledged kids the opportunity for a great education, coupling that with life skills on the job. The kids at St. Peter Claver, Cristo Rey High in Omaha turned out to be some of the most generous, loving, insightful students I’ve had the pleasure of working with.
The following month, I spoke for Rye Country Day High School in Rye, NY. This school is private, selective, wealthy and the students? Exactly the same as those in Omaha. People are just people. Kids are just kids. Love all people, treat everyone equally and fairly and I think you’ll find the majority of differences are only apparent if you’re looking for them.
Globally. Well, any genius can see our economic markets rise and fall (mostly falling). For a while, I sat in anxious silence, grinding my teeth together, feeling nauseous and fearing the entire economy will come tumbling down. Then? I’m left with an economy in which I cannot thrive nor survive. But alas, a wise man once said, “Change the things you can “(this would be my old principal, BTW). As best I could, I’ve let this turmoil go. Do I still fear a further downturn in our economy? Sure! But I refuse to let it seep into my every thought. Life is too short to worry.
Politically: Election years suck. I got so flipping sick of all the negative press, all the ridiculous promises of candidates, all the people that feel a new president will either make or break our country. Not so, not so. Now that we have a new president, I’m happy all the election stuff is over. I’m also excited to support our new leader and hope folks will remember one thing that’s often forgotten: at the end of the day, we’re all Americans (well, other than the people who aren’t Americans)
Geographically, I learned to love some new places this year. Namely, Austin, Texas and Los Angeles. Both cities bring along their fair share of stereotyping, but open your eyes to the positive and you’ll see it, same as with anything.
Were there other 2008 things I’d like to share? Sure! But this is a blog, not a novel. So, with that wrap up, I’ll bid a fond farewell to 2008, welcome 09 in with open arms and wish everyone a happy new year!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Would You Give A Gift To A Brat You Don't Know?
Last night on a Southwest Airlines flight, Marvelyne and I were seated in front of an unaccompanied eight year old kid. Even with as much as I love kids, unaccompanied children on flights can sometimes be a challenge. This kid was to prove to be no exception to the rule!
The flight attendant seated a gentleman in the same row as the boy. The man, a good-natured, slow talking Texan, had a good spirit around him and happily accepted his role as partial babysitter. When he sat down, he immediately engaged the kid on a kid’s level; asking him questions about who he’d been visiting in Florida, where he lived, what grade he was in, what he wanted for Christmas, etc.
With the question about Christmas gifts, the boy said he wanted a double barrel Nerf shotgun. I doubt the gentleman is up on the latest Nerf products, so he asked the boy, “Do you have a Wii?” The boy answered, “Well, I want one, but my mom can’t afford it, so I’m asking for the Nerf gun.”
For a third grader to understand a parent’s financial issues is one thing. For that same kid to take it to the next level and want to help is another.
When the flight attendants started handing out beverages, the boy asked, “What’s the cheapest drink you have?”
Think about that for a second, folks…he’s a third grader on a cross country flight. Literally, Fort Lauderdale to Oakland, CA. He’s been away from home for eight days. He’s aware his mom is strapped for cash. He’s changed his wish list to accommodate what Mom can afford. Now, he’s taking it upon himself to be sure he’s purchasing the cheapest thing they have (BTW, everyone around him smiled when he got excited since the drinks are all free!)
Sweet, sensitive kid, huh? Not so much…
For the rest of the flight, he proceeded to kick the chair in front of him, to literally yell out for 10 seconds at a time, to play loudly with his G.I. Joes, to whistle and, in general, be a total pest. By the time we landed in Austin, I was glad to be getting off the plane.
As we taxied to the gate, the gentleman next to him handed him something. I’m not 100% sure what it was, but I figure it was money. He said to the boy, “Do you think if I give this to you, you can hang onto it and give it to your mom?” “Yes, I’ll put it in my wallet right now,” the boy answered. “You tell your mom to have a merry Christmas…and you do the same, okay?” The kid agreed.
Folks, there wasn’t anyone within earshot who didn’t have tears in their eyes. Maybe it’s because it’s Christmas. Maybe this is the kind of thing this man would do year round. Maybe it was feeling sorry for the kid’s financial plight.
Whatever it was, I want to be more like this Texan. Frankly, by the time I’d listened to the kid whistling loudly for an hour, I was just ready to remove myself from his presence. But this guy gave the kid grace, generosity and compassion-something I think I may lack. Even with all that annoyance from the flight, he still went back to wanting to help the little boy in the seat next to him…that same little kid who asked about soda prices and wanted to be sure his mama could afford his Christmas gifts.
What can you do to be more generous this time of year? Actually, any time during the year? And are you like this Texan? Willing to bend over backwards to help those less fortunate? Even if those less fortunate folks are annoying?
This was a Christmas Eve I’ll never forget…mainly because I want to work all year long at being like this Texan. I hope you’ll do the same.
The flight attendant seated a gentleman in the same row as the boy. The man, a good-natured, slow talking Texan, had a good spirit around him and happily accepted his role as partial babysitter. When he sat down, he immediately engaged the kid on a kid’s level; asking him questions about who he’d been visiting in Florida, where he lived, what grade he was in, what he wanted for Christmas, etc.
With the question about Christmas gifts, the boy said he wanted a double barrel Nerf shotgun. I doubt the gentleman is up on the latest Nerf products, so he asked the boy, “Do you have a Wii?” The boy answered, “Well, I want one, but my mom can’t afford it, so I’m asking for the Nerf gun.”
For a third grader to understand a parent’s financial issues is one thing. For that same kid to take it to the next level and want to help is another.
When the flight attendants started handing out beverages, the boy asked, “What’s the cheapest drink you have?”
Think about that for a second, folks…he’s a third grader on a cross country flight. Literally, Fort Lauderdale to Oakland, CA. He’s been away from home for eight days. He’s aware his mom is strapped for cash. He’s changed his wish list to accommodate what Mom can afford. Now, he’s taking it upon himself to be sure he’s purchasing the cheapest thing they have (BTW, everyone around him smiled when he got excited since the drinks are all free!)
Sweet, sensitive kid, huh? Not so much…
For the rest of the flight, he proceeded to kick the chair in front of him, to literally yell out for 10 seconds at a time, to play loudly with his G.I. Joes, to whistle and, in general, be a total pest. By the time we landed in Austin, I was glad to be getting off the plane.
As we taxied to the gate, the gentleman next to him handed him something. I’m not 100% sure what it was, but I figure it was money. He said to the boy, “Do you think if I give this to you, you can hang onto it and give it to your mom?” “Yes, I’ll put it in my wallet right now,” the boy answered. “You tell your mom to have a merry Christmas…and you do the same, okay?” The kid agreed.
Folks, there wasn’t anyone within earshot who didn’t have tears in their eyes. Maybe it’s because it’s Christmas. Maybe this is the kind of thing this man would do year round. Maybe it was feeling sorry for the kid’s financial plight.
Whatever it was, I want to be more like this Texan. Frankly, by the time I’d listened to the kid whistling loudly for an hour, I was just ready to remove myself from his presence. But this guy gave the kid grace, generosity and compassion-something I think I may lack. Even with all that annoyance from the flight, he still went back to wanting to help the little boy in the seat next to him…that same little kid who asked about soda prices and wanted to be sure his mama could afford his Christmas gifts.
What can you do to be more generous this time of year? Actually, any time during the year? And are you like this Texan? Willing to bend over backwards to help those less fortunate? Even if those less fortunate folks are annoying?
This was a Christmas Eve I’ll never forget…mainly because I want to work all year long at being like this Texan. I hope you’ll do the same.
Are You As Fair As A Dog?
People who are unfair have less intelligence than dogs.
Bold statement, huh? Not to insult our incredibly bright canine friends, but more to show the low aptitude and lack of compassion/empathy of some people.
The University of Portsmouth in England has a new study on dogs…and humans should take a lesson.
Researchers took two dogs, asked each to shake, both did. However, they rewarded only one dog. Next experiment? Same thing…same two dogs, asked them to shake, dogs extended a paw, but the same dog got the treat again. Rinse and repeat.
After doing this several times, the unrewarded dog refused to participate and actually started treating the other dog badly. Researchers hypothesized that dogs can truly understand fairness and even feel such complex emotions as guilt, jealousy, embarrassment and resentment.
Here we are at the holidays. A time we all give gifts to one another, generosity is at it’s peak, it’s just a good time to give and receive…unless you have that one infuriating and unfair person in your life. You know, the kind of person who gives a Nintendo Wii for a brother, but socks and underware for his sister. Or take the example of adults having a favorite child (which is really crappy parenting, BTW). They’ll shower gifts in bulk on one child, but his/her siblings get little to nothing.
Kids pick up on unfairness. They see it. And if you’re the kid on the short end of the stick, it hurts. And you remember it. And…no matter how old you are, if you’re the adult child being treated unfairly by the previous generation, it hurts you as bad as the little sister who only got socks.
I’m lucky. While total, 110% equality is impossible, I had parents who did their level best to be sure my sister and I were treated fairly. And when we went to my grandparents’ house? Same thing-approximately the same amount of money was spent on gifts. And if one kid had a $100 gift, but the other had 10 $10 gifts, the gift givers (maybe it was Santa? Who knows?!) found several inexpensive (or free) gifts to wrap for the kid who got the big thing. Again, dollar amounts were as close to identical as possible, so were the numbers of gifts. It only makes sense, doesn’t it? So why do some people choose to treat their recipients with so much inequity?
It doesn’t take a genius to figure how much it hurts children, even adult children, when there is inequity without even a hint of fairness. Now that I have stepchildren of my own, the one thing I hope I always do is practice fairness and equality toward each of them.
Folks, unfairness and inequality among family members is something that just makes my blood boil. I simply cannot understand how some gift givers are so emotionally unintelligent as to not only participate in inequality, but some even seem to thrive in it!
It’s Christmas. It’s a time for families. It’s a time for generosity. It’s a time for bonding. Yet, nothing can break down those bonds faster than the simple observance of inequality.
Please, faithful reader, practice justice in gift giving. Maybe instead of holiday cheer, we should really be focused on holiday fairness. If our four legged friends feel it, then your human relatives certainly will, too.
Here’s to holiday fairness for all!
Bold statement, huh? Not to insult our incredibly bright canine friends, but more to show the low aptitude and lack of compassion/empathy of some people.
The University of Portsmouth in England has a new study on dogs…and humans should take a lesson.
Researchers took two dogs, asked each to shake, both did. However, they rewarded only one dog. Next experiment? Same thing…same two dogs, asked them to shake, dogs extended a paw, but the same dog got the treat again. Rinse and repeat.
After doing this several times, the unrewarded dog refused to participate and actually started treating the other dog badly. Researchers hypothesized that dogs can truly understand fairness and even feel such complex emotions as guilt, jealousy, embarrassment and resentment.
Here we are at the holidays. A time we all give gifts to one another, generosity is at it’s peak, it’s just a good time to give and receive…unless you have that one infuriating and unfair person in your life. You know, the kind of person who gives a Nintendo Wii for a brother, but socks and underware for his sister. Or take the example of adults having a favorite child (which is really crappy parenting, BTW). They’ll shower gifts in bulk on one child, but his/her siblings get little to nothing.
Kids pick up on unfairness. They see it. And if you’re the kid on the short end of the stick, it hurts. And you remember it. And…no matter how old you are, if you’re the adult child being treated unfairly by the previous generation, it hurts you as bad as the little sister who only got socks.
I’m lucky. While total, 110% equality is impossible, I had parents who did their level best to be sure my sister and I were treated fairly. And when we went to my grandparents’ house? Same thing-approximately the same amount of money was spent on gifts. And if one kid had a $100 gift, but the other had 10 $10 gifts, the gift givers (maybe it was Santa? Who knows?!) found several inexpensive (or free) gifts to wrap for the kid who got the big thing. Again, dollar amounts were as close to identical as possible, so were the numbers of gifts. It only makes sense, doesn’t it? So why do some people choose to treat their recipients with so much inequity?
It doesn’t take a genius to figure how much it hurts children, even adult children, when there is inequity without even a hint of fairness. Now that I have stepchildren of my own, the one thing I hope I always do is practice fairness and equality toward each of them.
Folks, unfairness and inequality among family members is something that just makes my blood boil. I simply cannot understand how some gift givers are so emotionally unintelligent as to not only participate in inequality, but some even seem to thrive in it!
It’s Christmas. It’s a time for families. It’s a time for generosity. It’s a time for bonding. Yet, nothing can break down those bonds faster than the simple observance of inequality.
Please, faithful reader, practice justice in gift giving. Maybe instead of holiday cheer, we should really be focused on holiday fairness. If our four legged friends feel it, then your human relatives certainly will, too.
Here’s to holiday fairness for all!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Arrogance and Entitlement
Until last evening, I’d never heard of former CT governor, John Rowland. Even as closely as I watch politics, Rowland’s time in the limelight was nearly five years ago-before I kept close tabs on such things.
However, if you’re from CT, you probably know the governor as a crook. And he is-self admittedly.
See, with all the hoopla about the current governor situation in Illinois, much more attention is being paid to other political figures controversial doings. Rowland doesn’t have anything quite as blatant on his record as the current IL governor, but nonetheless, the law is the law…and Rowland broke that law. He resigned from office in 2004, admitted his mistake, was found guilty and served 10 months in a federal pen in Pennsylvania.
Last night, I was flipping around the tube and found Mike Huckabee’s show on Fox News. Rowland was Huckabee’s guest and spoke openly and candidly of his illegal affairs. I’m quick to write off lawbreakers as crooks, especially politicians. Rowland is no different, but after his interview, I cut the guy a little slack. Why, when I despise pretty much all politicians, would I give grace to an admitted crook? Simple: we all make mistakes. When one admits those mistakes and openly (and honestly) tries to right that wrong, I’m a little more compassionate. Rowland, from what I gathered last night, ain’t just blowing smoke. He seemed genuinely sorry for his deeds and doesn’t try to redirect the public eye from his wrongdoings.
When Huckabee asked Rowland why he committed his crimes, Rowland spoke about his arrogance. An elected politician since the young age of 23, Rowland worked his way up through the CT political scene until he was elected three times-the first trice elected CT governor in over 200 years, not to mention the youngest CT governor ever.
But, he said, he started believing his own press releases. He actually believed all the butt kissing yes men around him, started feeling as though laws didn’t apply to him and, well, his actions got him caught by the feds. He very plainly says he was arrogant, felt a great sense of entitlement and the combination of these two were the ingredients that led to his downfall.
Again, my Rowland knowledge comes from reading about him on Wikipedia just now, and a 10 minute interview last night. I’m not well educated enough to comment if he’s a great guy, or a crook per sey, but I do agree with his summations on arrogance and entitlement.
When one starts believing the great things people say about them, there’s trouble afoot. This is a personal thing for me-and a fine line to walk for most every speaker I know.
In my business, where self promotion is the name of the game, this is an easy trap to fall into-and I never, EVER want to start thinking I’m something great. Instead, I think the information I have is great. That information is the thing which keeps the audience and my readership asking for more. I’m not cool enough to be the guy on my press releases, but I do know there is information I have which has helped me-and can help others.
If I ever stop distinguishing between the two, someone tell me, okay? I’ll never do something so disingenuous I’ll do time, but my integrity will always be something I’ll work hard to preserve.
However, if you’re from CT, you probably know the governor as a crook. And he is-self admittedly.
See, with all the hoopla about the current governor situation in Illinois, much more attention is being paid to other political figures controversial doings. Rowland doesn’t have anything quite as blatant on his record as the current IL governor, but nonetheless, the law is the law…and Rowland broke that law. He resigned from office in 2004, admitted his mistake, was found guilty and served 10 months in a federal pen in Pennsylvania.
Last night, I was flipping around the tube and found Mike Huckabee’s show on Fox News. Rowland was Huckabee’s guest and spoke openly and candidly of his illegal affairs. I’m quick to write off lawbreakers as crooks, especially politicians. Rowland is no different, but after his interview, I cut the guy a little slack. Why, when I despise pretty much all politicians, would I give grace to an admitted crook? Simple: we all make mistakes. When one admits those mistakes and openly (and honestly) tries to right that wrong, I’m a little more compassionate. Rowland, from what I gathered last night, ain’t just blowing smoke. He seemed genuinely sorry for his deeds and doesn’t try to redirect the public eye from his wrongdoings.
When Huckabee asked Rowland why he committed his crimes, Rowland spoke about his arrogance. An elected politician since the young age of 23, Rowland worked his way up through the CT political scene until he was elected three times-the first trice elected CT governor in over 200 years, not to mention the youngest CT governor ever.
But, he said, he started believing his own press releases. He actually believed all the butt kissing yes men around him, started feeling as though laws didn’t apply to him and, well, his actions got him caught by the feds. He very plainly says he was arrogant, felt a great sense of entitlement and the combination of these two were the ingredients that led to his downfall.
Again, my Rowland knowledge comes from reading about him on Wikipedia just now, and a 10 minute interview last night. I’m not well educated enough to comment if he’s a great guy, or a crook per sey, but I do agree with his summations on arrogance and entitlement.
When one starts believing the great things people say about them, there’s trouble afoot. This is a personal thing for me-and a fine line to walk for most every speaker I know.
In my business, where self promotion is the name of the game, this is an easy trap to fall into-and I never, EVER want to start thinking I’m something great. Instead, I think the information I have is great. That information is the thing which keeps the audience and my readership asking for more. I’m not cool enough to be the guy on my press releases, but I do know there is information I have which has helped me-and can help others.
If I ever stop distinguishing between the two, someone tell me, okay? I’ll never do something so disingenuous I’ll do time, but my integrity will always be something I’ll work hard to preserve.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Courageous Heart
Over the last few years, I’ve written several blogs and newsletters about the DeWalle family in St. Louis. Barb DeWalle is my favorite nurse from my tour of duty in Barnes Hospital and someone you may have read about in, “After This…”
One of my first conversations with Barb was about her son, Mark. We share a name (though a different spelling), we were teenagers at the same time and, most importantly, we both played (and loved) football. Mark was a member of the state champion Mehlville Panthers football team during his senior year of high school. Ain’t too many high school players can say that!
A few years after high school, Mark was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. He took the chemo and fight head on and beat it…for a few years. When the recurrence of this cancer came back, Mark knew his chances of beating it again were slim. He put up a gallant effort, but ultimately made the decision to take control of his own life…and refused any further treatments.
Before he finally passed away in June of 07, he spoke with his family about leaving a legacy which meant so much to him: Mehlville football. Soon after his death, the Mark DeWalle Courageous Heart medal was created. This award is given every year to a Mehlville High School football player who shows great promise of overcoming adversity and keeping a positive attitude.
What’s more, Mark’s older brother, John, handed out the medal since he’s a Mehlville football coach. On Mark’s blog (which his mom, Barb, keeps updated) is his brother’s speech as the medal was awarded to this year’s recipient.
If you’re a former athlete, or the parent of a high school athlete, I hope you’ll take a look at:
www.MarkDewalle.com
and see some of the things John said-truer words could not have been spoken. Football is more than just a high school sport-it’s a teaching tool to help the development of young men, turning them from immature boys into adults who face challenges head on. And I’m one of these guys, too…
Scroll down to Barb’s post from Dec. 9 to see John’s speech and the announcement of the winner of the Mark DeWalle Courageous Heart medal.
One of my first conversations with Barb was about her son, Mark. We share a name (though a different spelling), we were teenagers at the same time and, most importantly, we both played (and loved) football. Mark was a member of the state champion Mehlville Panthers football team during his senior year of high school. Ain’t too many high school players can say that!
A few years after high school, Mark was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. He took the chemo and fight head on and beat it…for a few years. When the recurrence of this cancer came back, Mark knew his chances of beating it again were slim. He put up a gallant effort, but ultimately made the decision to take control of his own life…and refused any further treatments.
Before he finally passed away in June of 07, he spoke with his family about leaving a legacy which meant so much to him: Mehlville football. Soon after his death, the Mark DeWalle Courageous Heart medal was created. This award is given every year to a Mehlville High School football player who shows great promise of overcoming adversity and keeping a positive attitude.
What’s more, Mark’s older brother, John, handed out the medal since he’s a Mehlville football coach. On Mark’s blog (which his mom, Barb, keeps updated) is his brother’s speech as the medal was awarded to this year’s recipient.
If you’re a former athlete, or the parent of a high school athlete, I hope you’ll take a look at:
www.MarkDewalle.com
and see some of the things John said-truer words could not have been spoken. Football is more than just a high school sport-it’s a teaching tool to help the development of young men, turning them from immature boys into adults who face challenges head on. And I’m one of these guys, too…
Scroll down to Barb’s post from Dec. 9 to see John’s speech and the announcement of the winner of the Mark DeWalle Courageous Heart medal.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Weird Relatives And What We Can Learn From Them
Do you have anyone goofy in your family? Ya know, that one weird uncle who can’t speak a sentence without mentioning duck hunting. Or the aunt who has more cats than bedrooms. Or the cousin who believes every conspiracy theory ever uttered. Sure you do-we’ve all got someone like this!
In my family, we have an extended relative who is kinda an odd bird, but totally harmless. And after being around him a little on this trip home, I realized something I’d never really noticed before.
Let me paint you a little portrait…
This guy is around 60, retired and lives in small town Missouri. Several years ago, he and his wife renewed their vows…but not only did the ceremony have the usual re-commitment of husband to wife (and vice versa), this ceremony included something more: interpretive dancers.
Now, my family are salt of the earth, pragmatic, sensible mid-westerners. They are NOT the type of folk who even know what interpretive dance is, much less would pay interpretive dancers to display their art. Yet? There they were! Flitting around the church sanctuary, trailing those ten foot long streamers from dowl rods, making quite the spectacle!
And this fella rides a scooter. One of those 50 cc engine motorbikes you might see ridden around college campuses or retirement villages-but NOT on state highways through cornfields and past farms.
Another thing? He crochets! Seriously, crochets! I did some latch hook as a kid, and I tried to cross stitch once with my grandma on vacation, but a seamstress (seamster?) I am not! And how many people (much less men) even still know this lost art?
All these eccentric things are just the tip of the iceberg. The stories can go on for hours about other things this relative has been involved in over the years.
And yet? He just doesn’t care what anyone thinks. He rides his scooter, he crochets blankets for his grandkids-and he doesn’t care that these things are looked upon by others with a bit of a raised eyebrow. He’s either incredibly secure with who he is-or he’s oblivious to the fact his lifestyle choices are, well, kinda odd for who he is.
But he does everything with a gusto and passion for life, never incumbered by stereotypes or the desire to impress people.
That, faithful reader, is something I, too, would like to strive for. So often, we don’t do what we want and love, but we do what we think others expect. To put aside all opinions and just live life on one’s own terms is impressive-and I want to be a little more like my weird relative.
In my family, we have an extended relative who is kinda an odd bird, but totally harmless. And after being around him a little on this trip home, I realized something I’d never really noticed before.
Let me paint you a little portrait…
This guy is around 60, retired and lives in small town Missouri. Several years ago, he and his wife renewed their vows…but not only did the ceremony have the usual re-commitment of husband to wife (and vice versa), this ceremony included something more: interpretive dancers.
Now, my family are salt of the earth, pragmatic, sensible mid-westerners. They are NOT the type of folk who even know what interpretive dance is, much less would pay interpretive dancers to display their art. Yet? There they were! Flitting around the church sanctuary, trailing those ten foot long streamers from dowl rods, making quite the spectacle!
And this fella rides a scooter. One of those 50 cc engine motorbikes you might see ridden around college campuses or retirement villages-but NOT on state highways through cornfields and past farms.
Another thing? He crochets! Seriously, crochets! I did some latch hook as a kid, and I tried to cross stitch once with my grandma on vacation, but a seamstress (seamster?) I am not! And how many people (much less men) even still know this lost art?
All these eccentric things are just the tip of the iceberg. The stories can go on for hours about other things this relative has been involved in over the years.
And yet? He just doesn’t care what anyone thinks. He rides his scooter, he crochets blankets for his grandkids-and he doesn’t care that these things are looked upon by others with a bit of a raised eyebrow. He’s either incredibly secure with who he is-or he’s oblivious to the fact his lifestyle choices are, well, kinda odd for who he is.
But he does everything with a gusto and passion for life, never incumbered by stereotypes or the desire to impress people.
That, faithful reader, is something I, too, would like to strive for. So often, we don’t do what we want and love, but we do what we think others expect. To put aside all opinions and just live life on one’s own terms is impressive-and I want to be a little more like my weird relative.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Morton, Plant, Mease Health Care
On Monday, December 8, I was the honored speaker for the nurse managers of Morton, Plant, Mease Health Care at Morton-Plant Hospital in Clearwater, FL. Always exciting to share my message, but double that excitement to work with nurse managers who can carry that learning back to their floor nurses!
Special thanks to Robin Lapham for helping arrange the event and for being such a thorough client! Always makes my job easier when my clients are on top of their game as you are, Robin! Thanks!
Special thanks to Robin Lapham for helping arrange the event and for being such a thorough client! Always makes my job easier when my clients are on top of their game as you are, Robin! Thanks!
Saturday, December 06, 2008
It's Fine To Want...Just Don't Expect
It’s a Saturday morning and I’ve been feeling lazy ever since I woke up. So, instead of doing any work, I made a pot of coffee, grabbed my Victor Stream (blind guy’s audio reading device) and stepped out onto the back porch to finish Melissa Bank’s, “The Wonder Spot.”
All the bad economic news this week has left me in a bit of a tither. Not pulling my hair out yet, but watching the market surge and fall is enough to make anyone want a Maalox I.V. So, with my laziness today, I was excited to get lost in the story of Sophie for a while in “The Wonder Spot.”
Today’s revelation from Sophie was about expectation. Here she is a 30-something working in a dead end advertising job for the last dozen years. She doesn’t love it, it’s just a job to her. She looks around at her boyfriend (a doctor), her brother (a white collar businessman), her best friend (a playwrite) and her co-worker (a born editor). Everyone but her, she feels, has a calling to do what they’re doing. But then she looks around. The guy on the corner selling hot dogs probably never drempt of doing what he’s doing. The people going to their jobs on the subway? Same story. Only some people are lucky enough to be able to answer their calling. Sophie, she knows, is not one of them.
Then, by letting a little of her resentment go, she realizes it’s not wrong to want more-but it is wrong to expect it.
That’s almost a direct quote (but don’t quote me on it since I’m kinda anal about copyright infringement). Here, again: It’s not wrong to want more, but it is wrong to expect it.
I am so, SO lucky in my life. I have a fabulous life all around; family, career, financial security, creature comforts, sense of meaning-I’m just plain lucky. Do I want more? Absolutely! I want to earn enough money to have a thatch hut by the ocean in Bermuda, I want a log cabin in the northwoods of Minnesota, I want a condo in downtown Austin, I want to be able to buy every guitar ever played by Johnny Cash, I want to be able to eat at a fine restaurant every night, then have the dough to pay the plastic surgeon to give me a tummy tuck from excess calorie intake-I just want more!
Yet, if I come to expect more, then it doesn’t happen, I’m left disappointed and unappreciative of what I have. Expectation is just one step away from entitlement-and that is a one way ticket to lifelong disappointment.
Appreciate what you have. Feel free to want more. And do everything you can to get more. But don’t expect it will happen-living in expectation is certain to leave you disappointed if something doesn’t come to fruition.
All the bad economic news this week has left me in a bit of a tither. Not pulling my hair out yet, but watching the market surge and fall is enough to make anyone want a Maalox I.V. So, with my laziness today, I was excited to get lost in the story of Sophie for a while in “The Wonder Spot.”
Today’s revelation from Sophie was about expectation. Here she is a 30-something working in a dead end advertising job for the last dozen years. She doesn’t love it, it’s just a job to her. She looks around at her boyfriend (a doctor), her brother (a white collar businessman), her best friend (a playwrite) and her co-worker (a born editor). Everyone but her, she feels, has a calling to do what they’re doing. But then she looks around. The guy on the corner selling hot dogs probably never drempt of doing what he’s doing. The people going to their jobs on the subway? Same story. Only some people are lucky enough to be able to answer their calling. Sophie, she knows, is not one of them.
Then, by letting a little of her resentment go, she realizes it’s not wrong to want more-but it is wrong to expect it.
That’s almost a direct quote (but don’t quote me on it since I’m kinda anal about copyright infringement). Here, again: It’s not wrong to want more, but it is wrong to expect it.
I am so, SO lucky in my life. I have a fabulous life all around; family, career, financial security, creature comforts, sense of meaning-I’m just plain lucky. Do I want more? Absolutely! I want to earn enough money to have a thatch hut by the ocean in Bermuda, I want a log cabin in the northwoods of Minnesota, I want a condo in downtown Austin, I want to be able to buy every guitar ever played by Johnny Cash, I want to be able to eat at a fine restaurant every night, then have the dough to pay the plastic surgeon to give me a tummy tuck from excess calorie intake-I just want more!
Yet, if I come to expect more, then it doesn’t happen, I’m left disappointed and unappreciative of what I have. Expectation is just one step away from entitlement-and that is a one way ticket to lifelong disappointment.
Appreciate what you have. Feel free to want more. And do everything you can to get more. But don’t expect it will happen-living in expectation is certain to leave you disappointed if something doesn’t come to fruition.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Christmas In Prison
Nah, no incarceration for yours truly...not yet, at least!
I just placed John Prine's "Christmas in Prison" as the song for my MySpace profile. Prine is second only to Dylan in the whole folk singer category (a bold statement and well deserved!). "Christmas in Prison" is one of the first tunes I ever learned to play on guitar, too. In addition to it's simplicity, it's the only song I know that talks about sacharine...go figure!
www.MySpace.com/MarcusEngel
I just placed John Prine's "Christmas in Prison" as the song for my MySpace profile. Prine is second only to Dylan in the whole folk singer category (a bold statement and well deserved!). "Christmas in Prison" is one of the first tunes I ever learned to play on guitar, too. In addition to it's simplicity, it's the only song I know that talks about sacharine...go figure!
www.MySpace.com/MarcusEngel
Monday, December 01, 2008
Happy Birthday, Marvelyne!
So excited I get to spend my life with my best friend!
It's your birthday, but I'm the one who's wish was granted!
I love you!
And for you, faithful reader, here's a pic of us up in the mountains of Helen, GA last week.
And for you, faithful reader, here's a pic of us up in the mountains of Helen, GA last week.
It was a fantastic Thanksgiving vacation!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
The Wonder Spot
For the last several days, I’ve been indulging in Melissa Bank’s, “The Wonder Spot.” After reading Bank’s, “The Girl’s Guide To Hunting and Fishing” last year, I was pumped to read, “The Wonder Spot.”(Note to reader: if you’re a single female, be sure to get a copy of “The Girl’s Guide To Hunting and Fishing.” I promise you won’t be disappointed!)
Now, why might a dude like me be interested in reading books with a largely female audience? Simple: Bank is just an amazing writer! Her character development is incredibly detailed-exactly the thing that, for me, makes a novel great!
In “Spot”, there is a short story where the main character, Sophie, is an entry level editorial assistant in a Manhattan literary agency. Not only is she entry level, but Sophie struggles with incompetency; slow at typing, slow at reading, slow at writing, late for work. Yet, she’s observant and thoughtful-something which is sorely lacking in the agency.
Francine is another entry level editorial assistant who shares office space with Sophie. Both Francine and Sophie are assigned to read all the unrequested manuscripts that show up in the agency. Looking for that needle in a haystack, the diamond in the trash bin or, literally, the next big selling novel amongst ginormous stacks of manuscripts of wannabe authors.
Sophie simply skims the unrequested manuscripts, almost tossing them aside without a fair read-through. Francine, on the other hand, reads every word of every manuscript, even if she knows before the end of the first chapter that the novelist will get a “Thanks, but no thanks” form letter. Francine states that every author deserves to have their manuscript read by an agency…especially since each author may have spent the better part of a decade writing it.
Folks, speaking as someone who has sent in manuscripts to agencies (and then gotten back that “Thanks, but no thanks” letter), I really hope there are people like Francine in the world. Those who see the hard work others have done, recognize their sacrifices and, whether their product is good or not, give it the respect such a sacrifice deserves.
While I chose to self publish for a variety of reasons, I really hope that at some anonymous agency, there was a Francine giving my words the respect of a read-through.
To whom can you be Francine? Is there someone who wants your ear, but doesn’t have much of a chance of being heard? Are there people who have sacrificed great things and just need a bit of your recognition?
The Francines of the world don’t promise life-changing things…they’re just happy to give respect and recognition where it is due. Who knew I’d learn something valueable from a fictional character?
Now, why might a dude like me be interested in reading books with a largely female audience? Simple: Bank is just an amazing writer! Her character development is incredibly detailed-exactly the thing that, for me, makes a novel great!
In “Spot”, there is a short story where the main character, Sophie, is an entry level editorial assistant in a Manhattan literary agency. Not only is she entry level, but Sophie struggles with incompetency; slow at typing, slow at reading, slow at writing, late for work. Yet, she’s observant and thoughtful-something which is sorely lacking in the agency.
Francine is another entry level editorial assistant who shares office space with Sophie. Both Francine and Sophie are assigned to read all the unrequested manuscripts that show up in the agency. Looking for that needle in a haystack, the diamond in the trash bin or, literally, the next big selling novel amongst ginormous stacks of manuscripts of wannabe authors.
Sophie simply skims the unrequested manuscripts, almost tossing them aside without a fair read-through. Francine, on the other hand, reads every word of every manuscript, even if she knows before the end of the first chapter that the novelist will get a “Thanks, but no thanks” form letter. Francine states that every author deserves to have their manuscript read by an agency…especially since each author may have spent the better part of a decade writing it.
Folks, speaking as someone who has sent in manuscripts to agencies (and then gotten back that “Thanks, but no thanks” letter), I really hope there are people like Francine in the world. Those who see the hard work others have done, recognize their sacrifices and, whether their product is good or not, give it the respect such a sacrifice deserves.
While I chose to self publish for a variety of reasons, I really hope that at some anonymous agency, there was a Francine giving my words the respect of a read-through.
To whom can you be Francine? Is there someone who wants your ear, but doesn’t have much of a chance of being heard? Are there people who have sacrificed great things and just need a bit of your recognition?
The Francines of the world don’t promise life-changing things…they’re just happy to give respect and recognition where it is due. Who knew I’d learn something valueable from a fictional character?
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Be Respectful
As I said in yesterday's post, we just returned from a week in the mountains for Thanksgiving vacation. My in laws, all around, were in attendance all week, with the exceptions of my stepson, Jordan, and my nephew, Christopher.
Earlier in the week, Christopher was still in Miami for a varsity basketball game. His dad, Steve, called Christopher while I was standing nearby. After all the usual Q & A of, "How's it going?" "How'd your game go last night?", that sorta stuff, Steve left Christopher with one parting piece of advice:
"Be respectful to the Smiths." The Smiths are family friends who Christopher stayed with while his mom and dad were in the mountains.
Be respectful. That's a lot less subjective than, "Be good!" Don't you think?
Even if respect is a bit subjective, it has an air of the Golden Rule to it. Simply act in a way that tells others they are acknowledged and appreciated.
Do you always act respctful? I wish I could say YES...but I don't. And with Steve's bit of food for thought, maybe that'll start to take the place of, "Be good."
Earlier in the week, Christopher was still in Miami for a varsity basketball game. His dad, Steve, called Christopher while I was standing nearby. After all the usual Q & A of, "How's it going?" "How'd your game go last night?", that sorta stuff, Steve left Christopher with one parting piece of advice:
"Be respectful to the Smiths." The Smiths are family friends who Christopher stayed with while his mom and dad were in the mountains.
Be respectful. That's a lot less subjective than, "Be good!" Don't you think?
Even if respect is a bit subjective, it has an air of the Golden Rule to it. Simply act in a way that tells others they are acknowledged and appreciated.
Do you always act respctful? I wish I could say YES...but I don't. And with Steve's bit of food for thought, maybe that'll start to take the place of, "Be good."
Friday, November 28, 2008
Well, Did You Complain On Wednesday?
Apologies for the lack of posts this Thanksgiving week. We spent this week with my extended family in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Helen, Georgia. Had a fabulous time and, with mountain air, tons of food and neverendding conversations with family, blogging was put on the backburner.
And while I wasn't blogging, I've been wearing my "no complaints" bracelet now for the last several weeks. Wednesday was officially a No Complaint holiday-exactly what Rev. Will Bowen (author of "A Complaint Free World" is pushing for! And did I succeed in not complaining? Nope! But I tried! And it was a really fabulous day...probably partially because I was practicing my not complaining as dogmatically as I could.
And after this past week's Engel's Ensights, did you strap on a rubber band and try to live complaint free? I know several of my friends tried and I congratulate them!
More posts (with pics) coming tomorrow! Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
And while I wasn't blogging, I've been wearing my "no complaints" bracelet now for the last several weeks. Wednesday was officially a No Complaint holiday-exactly what Rev. Will Bowen (author of "A Complaint Free World" is pushing for! And did I succeed in not complaining? Nope! But I tried! And it was a really fabulous day...probably partially because I was practicing my not complaining as dogmatically as I could.
And after this past week's Engel's Ensights, did you strap on a rubber band and try to live complaint free? I know several of my friends tried and I congratulate them!
More posts (with pics) coming tomorrow! Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Rationality Takes The Reins!
Well, it had to happen sooner or later! The most feared organization finally pushed me to the limit…not the FBI, nor the CIA, not even Homeland Security…but our Home Owners Association.
Yesterday, all the home owners in our community received a letter through the mail. Basically, it said that due to a funding shortage, everyone’s home owners fees would double in 2009. Not up 20%, not 50%...but up 100%
And that’s not the worst of it! Every single home owner must pay approximately $700 in an emergency assessment. The amount must be paid in full within, oh, like three weeks, or the HOA will put an 18% interest penalty to each home AND a lien against the house.
So, last night, we got to meet all our neighbors! Everyone was up in arms about this incredibly high emergency assessment, not to mention this is coming right about the time property taxes are due AND Christmas is just a few weeks away. Ridiculous. And everyone knows it.
Grass roots efforts take place and everyone gathered together to determine what we can do about it. I begrudgingly went to this meeting, ready to have to listen to a bunch of crazies shoot off their mouths in anger. When emotions run high, people end up checking their brains at the door. But ya know? It wasn’t like that…
I was so pleased that any time someone started off on a tangent, some level-headed person would reel that person back in. When people start complaining about one thing, so often, it becomes a downward spiral. First people erupt about the high assessment, but the next thing ya know, they’re screaming about the college students partying too much, a street light that’s out, blah, blah, blah. Only once did this happen. When it did, a very controlled, rational owner stood up and said, “We need to be sure we’re keeping complaints separate. We gathered together tonight due to the assessment. We’ll have more power to negotiate the assessment if we don’t get bogged down in additional complaints.”
Ah, someone who knows how to get ‘er done! I love it!
One of my biggest pet peeves is inefficiency. A gathering of angry home owners has every possibility of having about as much efficiency as a mesh waterbed. Yet, those who understand the situation and want it corrected took the lead and, with a mission and purpose, kept things moving along.
What will be the outcome here? I don’t know for sure, but I’m very, VERY pleased to see leaders emerge. True leadership comes from an ability to step outside one’s emotions to complete the task at hand. And since some of our neighbors can do this, it makes me glad to know we’re on the right track.
Yesterday, all the home owners in our community received a letter through the mail. Basically, it said that due to a funding shortage, everyone’s home owners fees would double in 2009. Not up 20%, not 50%...but up 100%
And that’s not the worst of it! Every single home owner must pay approximately $700 in an emergency assessment. The amount must be paid in full within, oh, like three weeks, or the HOA will put an 18% interest penalty to each home AND a lien against the house.
So, last night, we got to meet all our neighbors! Everyone was up in arms about this incredibly high emergency assessment, not to mention this is coming right about the time property taxes are due AND Christmas is just a few weeks away. Ridiculous. And everyone knows it.
Grass roots efforts take place and everyone gathered together to determine what we can do about it. I begrudgingly went to this meeting, ready to have to listen to a bunch of crazies shoot off their mouths in anger. When emotions run high, people end up checking their brains at the door. But ya know? It wasn’t like that…
I was so pleased that any time someone started off on a tangent, some level-headed person would reel that person back in. When people start complaining about one thing, so often, it becomes a downward spiral. First people erupt about the high assessment, but the next thing ya know, they’re screaming about the college students partying too much, a street light that’s out, blah, blah, blah. Only once did this happen. When it did, a very controlled, rational owner stood up and said, “We need to be sure we’re keeping complaints separate. We gathered together tonight due to the assessment. We’ll have more power to negotiate the assessment if we don’t get bogged down in additional complaints.”
Ah, someone who knows how to get ‘er done! I love it!
One of my biggest pet peeves is inefficiency. A gathering of angry home owners has every possibility of having about as much efficiency as a mesh waterbed. Yet, those who understand the situation and want it corrected took the lead and, with a mission and purpose, kept things moving along.
What will be the outcome here? I don’t know for sure, but I’m very, VERY pleased to see leaders emerge. True leadership comes from an ability to step outside one’s emotions to complete the task at hand. And since some of our neighbors can do this, it makes me glad to know we’re on the right track.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
My Favorite Crab
This past weekend, we journeyed to central Texas to see my stepdaughter, Maddison, in her school play of Alice in Wonderland. Maddi played the crab and did a fabulous, FABULOUS job! (and yes, I have the right to have a slanted opinion because she's my girl!) The Belton High School students did an awesome job with the play and, maybe even more, I got something a little more meaningful out of the play...
The play wasn't word for word "Alice", but was a little more of an avant-garde interpretation of the famous story. Just like in the Lewis Carrol version, Alice drinks a potion that makes her gigantic (Big Alice) and then a different potion that shrinks her to two feet tall (Small Alice).
Not sure about you, but if I swallowed something that made me grow in over seven foot intervals, I might be pretty hacked off! Yet, Alice just seemed puzzled. I believe her actual words were, "This just keeps getting curiouser and curiousier..."
Curious? Growing and shrinking like that? We should all look at our adversity as something to be curious about – but instead, we just usually end up getting mad. Next time I'm faced with something weird and disruptive to my life, I'm going to try to take Alice's attitude: just think of it as something curious.
And Maddison? Great job! I'm super proud of you! You're my favorite crab!
The play wasn't word for word "Alice", but was a little more of an avant-garde interpretation of the famous story. Just like in the Lewis Carrol version, Alice drinks a potion that makes her gigantic (Big Alice) and then a different potion that shrinks her to two feet tall (Small Alice).
Not sure about you, but if I swallowed something that made me grow in over seven foot intervals, I might be pretty hacked off! Yet, Alice just seemed puzzled. I believe her actual words were, "This just keeps getting curiouser and curiousier..."
Curious? Growing and shrinking like that? We should all look at our adversity as something to be curious about – but instead, we just usually end up getting mad. Next time I'm faced with something weird and disruptive to my life, I'm going to try to take Alice's attitude: just think of it as something curious.
And Maddison? Great job! I'm super proud of you! You're my favorite crab!
Erin Weed, Mike Domitrz and Marcus at Bacchus General Assembly!
As you might expect, I meet a whole, WHOLE lot of speakers in this biz. Two of the finest speakers (and people) I know are these two folks pictured with me; Erin Weed with Girls Fight Back: http://www.girlsfightback.com/
and Mike Domitrz with "Can I Kiss You?" http://www.canikissyou.com/
If you've had yours truly to your campus and trust my opinion, you simply cannot go wrong with either of these speakers, too! I'm honored to be in the same business with them and to call them friends!
If you've had yours truly to your campus and trust my opinion, you simply cannot go wrong with either of these speakers, too! I'm honored to be in the same business with them and to call them friends!
Concordia University-Chicago
On Tuesday, Nov. 18, I was honored to present a program at Concordia University in Chicago! Student athletes and others gathered in the K.C.C. for a program to inspire students to make intelligent choices... and from all the Facebook sign ups and messages I've received, we got 'er done! 
Special thanks to Kathy Gebhardt and Pete Gnan for hosting me at Concordia! It's been several years since I've worked in Chicago and it was awesome to be there with such a great group of Concordia folks!
Bacchus in Columbus!
Sorry for the lack of postings the last week or so. I've been on the road a lot and now, here's why!
Thursday, Fri. and Sat. of last week, I was exhibiting and presenting at the Bacchus Network General Assembly held in Columbus, OH. This is the third year I've attended G.A. and I'm always so excited to get to meet new friends and see past acquaintances!
This year, I was also excited to present with the PACE team from DeSales University on "Booze Busters." To the best of our knowledge, this is the first time a university has partnered with a professional speaker to present a breakout session at G.A. I want to thank the PACE team for welcoming me in with open arms and congratulations on a job well done! Special thanks to Dr. Gregg Amore and Wendy Krisak for helping facilitate everything... and for one of the funnest times I've ever had at a conference dinner!
Side note: Friday night at G.A., there was a fire in a neighboring building. A big, stinky electrical fire. This fire caused the power grid to be switched off and hence, our hotel to be without power for nearly 12 hours. And yet? Hanging out on the street corner with the DeSales PACE team was just super fun! No one I'd rather be homeless with! And thanks to the Columbus Hyatt for handling the disaster in such a professional manner-truly one of the finer examples of customer service I've ever experienced!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
A Pet's Ten Commandments
Often when I’m walking with someone who doesn’t know Carson (or me) very well, this person will try to do Carson’s job for him. They’ll tell me to step to the right or the left, that there’s a big obstacle coming up to go around, stuff like that.
This gives me the opportunity to explain how a dog’s perception works; that Carson’s doggie vision and ideas don’t tell him to start going around an obstacle until he’s right up on it. For example, if there’s a garbage can blocking the sidewalk, Carson will walk right up to the bin, make a sharp 90 degree turn to the right, another sharp 90 to the left, another to the left and then, once we’re around the obstacle, another back to the right. Think military marching formation.
Humans, on the other hand, will make a gentle arc around the obstacle with the full knowledge the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Dogs? Not so much.
As I learned at the Seeing Eye-the user must always trust the dog. “Follow your dog” became the montra. The dog has been extensively trained to do his/her job and we, mere humans, need to step in line with how the dog has been trained. That trust and bond is why this article struck me so deeply…
I was sent this article via E mail and, while it’s a tear jerker, I hope it gives some good insight from a dog’s perspective. If we humans could step into the mind of a dog, we’d be a lot better off. This article helps us do just that…
A PET'S TEN COMMANDMENTS.........
1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is
likely to be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.
4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment.
You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only
you.
5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand
your voice when speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.
7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt
you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if
something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food,
I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or
weak.
9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.
10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you
can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier
for me if you are there, because I love you so.
This gives me the opportunity to explain how a dog’s perception works; that Carson’s doggie vision and ideas don’t tell him to start going around an obstacle until he’s right up on it. For example, if there’s a garbage can blocking the sidewalk, Carson will walk right up to the bin, make a sharp 90 degree turn to the right, another sharp 90 to the left, another to the left and then, once we’re around the obstacle, another back to the right. Think military marching formation.
Humans, on the other hand, will make a gentle arc around the obstacle with the full knowledge the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Dogs? Not so much.
As I learned at the Seeing Eye-the user must always trust the dog. “Follow your dog” became the montra. The dog has been extensively trained to do his/her job and we, mere humans, need to step in line with how the dog has been trained. That trust and bond is why this article struck me so deeply…
I was sent this article via E mail and, while it’s a tear jerker, I hope it gives some good insight from a dog’s perspective. If we humans could step into the mind of a dog, we’d be a lot better off. This article helps us do just that…
A PET'S TEN COMMANDMENTS.........
1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is
likely to be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.
4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment.
You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only
you.
5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand
your voice when speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.
7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt
you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if
something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food,
I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or
weak.
9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.
10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you
can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier
for me if you are there, because I love you so.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Veterans Day...Did You Remember?
While running errands today, we stopped by our bank. We sat waiting for a few minutes, trying to figure out why it was closed. A holiday? Don’t think so. Did the bank get robbed? Highly unlikely.
Then, after thinking a bit, we realized it IS a holiday: Veterans Day. I’m simply ashamed this didn’t immediately spring to mind.
Our veterans are the whole reason I can write whatever I want on this blog (within reason, of course). Their sacrifices are what allow us to have the freedoms we have today. Vets, teachers, nurses and cops are all my heros…and this is why I’m just so ashamed I didn’t immediately link up Tues., Nov. 11, 2008 with Veterans Day.
I wish our country would place the importance of Veterans Day up there with Christmas, Thanksgiving and (believe it or not) Halloween. Wouldn’t it be great if our vets were all honored on their day, instead of it being an afterthought?
Today has now been emotionally linked in my brain. It’s going to be my goal to never again let Veterans Day pass without having thought of it the week before and (hopefully) having done something to honor our men and women who’ve served in the U.S. Armed Forces.
If you’re a vet, please know you have my gratitude and appreciation for the sacrifices you’ve made…and you have my apologies for forgetting your day and my humble promise I’ll try not to let it happen again.
Then, after thinking a bit, we realized it IS a holiday: Veterans Day. I’m simply ashamed this didn’t immediately spring to mind.
Our veterans are the whole reason I can write whatever I want on this blog (within reason, of course). Their sacrifices are what allow us to have the freedoms we have today. Vets, teachers, nurses and cops are all my heros…and this is why I’m just so ashamed I didn’t immediately link up Tues., Nov. 11, 2008 with Veterans Day.
I wish our country would place the importance of Veterans Day up there with Christmas, Thanksgiving and (believe it or not) Halloween. Wouldn’t it be great if our vets were all honored on their day, instead of it being an afterthought?
Today has now been emotionally linked in my brain. It’s going to be my goal to never again let Veterans Day pass without having thought of it the week before and (hopefully) having done something to honor our men and women who’ve served in the U.S. Armed Forces.
If you’re a vet, please know you have my gratitude and appreciation for the sacrifices you’ve made…and you have my apologies for forgetting your day and my humble promise I’ll try not to let it happen again.
DUIfoundation.org
I just learned of a great resource with whom I share a mission: www.DUIfoundation.org
From their site, DUIfoundation.org stresses the human repercussions of impaired driving; that a single mistake can have devastating affects on not only the driver, but his/her passengers and other motorists.
But we all know this stuff, right? Everyone knows impaired driving is wrong and shouldn't be done, right? Sure! We all know this...but there are still approximately 15, 000 individuals killed every year due to intoxicated driving.
www.DUIfoundation.org is yet another resource in the fight to reduce (and hopefully eliminate) this dangerous and senseless crime. From legislation to law enforcement to support groups to resources for those with substance abuse issues, DUIfoundation.org is a web site I'll be visiting frequently. I hope you will, too.
From their site, DUIfoundation.org stresses the human repercussions of impaired driving; that a single mistake can have devastating affects on not only the driver, but his/her passengers and other motorists.
But we all know this stuff, right? Everyone knows impaired driving is wrong and shouldn't be done, right? Sure! We all know this...but there are still approximately 15, 000 individuals killed every year due to intoxicated driving.
www.DUIfoundation.org is yet another resource in the fight to reduce (and hopefully eliminate) this dangerous and senseless crime. From legislation to law enforcement to support groups to resources for those with substance abuse issues, DUIfoundation.org is a web site I'll be visiting frequently. I hope you will, too.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Cal State San Marcos
Thursday, Nov. 6 found me at Cal State-San Marcos to work with the students there! And what a fun group to work with! Special thanks to Julie Mattingly for being such an awesome client AND awesome person, Erika and Jenny for helping coordinate everything for my visit! Thanks also to Kathy, the health educator, at CSU-SM for helping drum up interest and for co-sponsorship for the event. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of students and I’m so glad that, even voluntary attendance got the auditorium filled!
Side note: If you’ve never been to San Marcos, leave your wing tips and cufflinks at home! San Marcos is this cool little beach town-ish place that has such a fun and laid back vibe! Was really cool to soak it up for a while!
And to Julie, Erika and Jenny… thanks for helping me haul my stuff all over campus all day…y’all can be my Sherpas any time!
Side note: If you’ve never been to San Marcos, leave your wing tips and cufflinks at home! San Marcos is this cool little beach town-ish place that has such a fun and laid back vibe! Was really cool to soak it up for a while!
And to Julie, Erika and Jenny… thanks for helping me haul my stuff all over campus all day…y’all can be my Sherpas any time!
Cal State Fullerton
Thanks to Nick Katz at Cal State-Fullerton for inviting me in to work with the new Greeks and athletes on Nov. 5. Still in post-election afterglow, the CSU-Fullerton program was a great time!
Special thanks to Jenny, Emma the photographer (and all around cool gal), Emel, Matt and Sarah for being such awesome hosts… not to mention hooking me up with the CA fav, In and Out.
Thanks to all CSU-Fullerton students who’ve signed up to be friends on Facebook and MySpace, too!
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
You're Never Too Old To Rock-N-Roll...or Shoot Hoops!
Ya know, it's one thing that this fella is a full time college student. I hope when I'm in my 70s, I'm still this excited about life! But to put on a pair of Nikes and hit the court when most peers are drawing Social Security? That's just too cool!
****
Grandpa's Got Game -- Ken Mink, 73, Scores in Collegiate Contest
His joints may be a little creaky -- and he may not have played competitive ball for 50 years -- but 73 year old college basketball player Ken Mins is on the scoreboard and possibly in the recordbooks.
The retiree, who is a full-time college student at Roane State Community College, came into a game last night against King College's junior varsity with about 16 minutes left in the second half. He attempted one shot in about three minutes. When Mink entered the game seven minutes later, he was fouled and made two free throws.
"I found myself on the free-throw line 52 years after my last college game," Mink said. "I said, 'Just relax and shoot it like you know how to all day long.' I just floated the shots in there. I'm in the books now. I can relax a little bit."
Mink played ball at Lees College in Jackson, KY, half a century ago but was expelled after someone soaped the basketball coach's office. He still insists he didn't do it.
****
Grandpa's Got Game -- Ken Mink, 73, Scores in Collegiate Contest
His joints may be a little creaky -- and he may not have played competitive ball for 50 years -- but 73 year old college basketball player Ken Mins is on the scoreboard and possibly in the recordbooks.
The retiree, who is a full-time college student at Roane State Community College, came into a game last night against King College's junior varsity with about 16 minutes left in the second half. He attempted one shot in about three minutes. When Mink entered the game seven minutes later, he was fouled and made two free throws.
"I found myself on the free-throw line 52 years after my last college game," Mink said. "I said, 'Just relax and shoot it like you know how to all day long.' I just floated the shots in there. I'm in the books now. I can relax a little bit."
Mink played ball at Lees College in Jackson, KY, half a century ago but was expelled after someone soaped the basketball coach's office. He still insists he didn't do it.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Vote!
Tomorrow marks the end of this very heated (and very long) Presidential race. It’s been a one-of-a-kind race, hasn’t it?
So, tomorrow: vote. If you’re a registered voter (not a dead person, a minor or a dog), then get out and exercise your Constitutional right!
The country we now live in is so polarized, so distrustful of anyone who doesn’t wear their colors, so fixiated on personal preference instead of a candidate’s true qualities. And ya know? That doesn’t change the fact America is a democracy.
A government of the people, by the people, for the people…
I hope tomorrow has the largest voter turnout ever. I hope more Americans get out and exercise that Constitutional right than in any previous election. I hope our voter turnout rates start to mirror those of the other Democratic countries of this world (for example, European democracies think anything less than 75% is pitiful…and it is! But in America, we’re usually in the 60% range. So, who is really pathetic?)
The early voting place down the street from my home has had early voting the last week. Voters sometimes have waited in line for over three hours to be sure their ballot is cast. No matter your political affiliation, you’ve gotta smile at the excitement, fervor and commitment this race has generated!
Tomorrow? Vote. And on Wednesday? Let’s all realize that, no matter the outcome of the race, we’re all Americans. And let’s start to act like it again.
So, tomorrow: vote. If you’re a registered voter (not a dead person, a minor or a dog), then get out and exercise your Constitutional right!
The country we now live in is so polarized, so distrustful of anyone who doesn’t wear their colors, so fixiated on personal preference instead of a candidate’s true qualities. And ya know? That doesn’t change the fact America is a democracy.
A government of the people, by the people, for the people…
I hope tomorrow has the largest voter turnout ever. I hope more Americans get out and exercise that Constitutional right than in any previous election. I hope our voter turnout rates start to mirror those of the other Democratic countries of this world (for example, European democracies think anything less than 75% is pitiful…and it is! But in America, we’re usually in the 60% range. So, who is really pathetic?)
The early voting place down the street from my home has had early voting the last week. Voters sometimes have waited in line for over three hours to be sure their ballot is cast. No matter your political affiliation, you’ve gotta smile at the excitement, fervor and commitment this race has generated!
Tomorrow? Vote. And on Wednesday? Let’s all realize that, no matter the outcome of the race, we’re all Americans. And let’s start to act like it again.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
And These Are Real!
Okay, maybe not... but it sure beats paying Dr. 90210 for a figure I only needed for a night!For all those who requested – your wish is my command! Nothing beats a German soprano opera singer with chest hair AND giant cans!
And with Marvelyne dressed as the cutest Hell's Angel biker girl ever, we made quite a pair! Had a blast at the Bahia Shrine Sheiks Halloween party, too!
And if Marvelyne's picture is out of focus or off center? Cut me some slack – I'm a blind guy with a camera!
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