What It's Like To Kill A Man

Over our Sunday lunch today, one of our topics of discussion was the sickening execution-style murders of the college students in Newark, NJ. This led into the hypothetical question, "How would someone feel after they killed another human being?"

I don't have the answer to this(well, maybe I do), but I'll bet I have a little more insight than your average bear, er, guy. Reason being, as I thought about it, I've met at least six individuals who have taken the life of another. Admittedly, three of these were drunk drivers who's actions caused the demise of others. Three drunk drivers, but eight fatalities due to that preventable crime. Two others Ii've met are law enforcement officers who have had to use lethal force. The first, a U.S. Marshall, actually had to use deadly force twice in the line of duty. The second cop(from a city in Missouri) was the member of the SWAT team who ultimately pulled the trigger in a hostage situation. Finally, I also know a gentleman whowas tried for murder. I do not know the ddetails of his actions and, since he's a friend, I'll never ask that question.

Still, what must it be like to have the knowledge that you ended another life? Would you be distraught and haunted by this, as was the case with the SWAT officer? Or would you look at it in the light of, "Well, all in a day's work" as the U.S. Marshall did?

Frankly, I don't ever want to find this out. I doubt many people really -do- want to know what it's like to end the life of another.I can't imagine what torment and soul searching that must cause later. I can't even fathom the question, "Did I really need to kill that person, or was there another way?"

Human psychology is just so freaking interesting. The different reactions of these different individuals is something that is obserbable and measurable, but something I hope no one has to experience. Fat chance, right? That'd mean no more military personell protecting our country, no more police protecting our streets and cars could ever be driven. It's not a world I want to live in. And it's just simple acceptance that tells us crimes will happen. Accidents will happen. Wars will happen. These unfortunate facts of the world in which we live will continue to give my family discussion topics over lunch. I wish it wasn't that way.