Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Wonder Spot

For the last several days, I’ve been indulging in Melissa Bank’s, “The Wonder Spot.” After reading Bank’s, “The Girl’s Guide To Hunting and Fishing” last year, I was pumped to read, “The Wonder Spot.”(Note to reader: if you’re a single female, be sure to get a copy of “The Girl’s Guide To Hunting and Fishing.” I promise you won’t be disappointed!)

Now, why might a dude like me be interested in reading books with a largely female audience? Simple: Bank is just an amazing writer! Her character development is incredibly detailed-exactly the thing that, for me, makes a novel great!

In “Spot”, there is a short story where the main character, Sophie, is an entry level editorial assistant in a Manhattan literary agency. Not only is she entry level, but Sophie struggles with incompetency; slow at typing, slow at reading, slow at writing, late for work. Yet, she’s observant and thoughtful-something which is sorely lacking in the agency.

Francine is another entry level editorial assistant who shares office space with Sophie. Both Francine and Sophie are assigned to read all the unrequested manuscripts that show up in the agency. Looking for that needle in a haystack, the diamond in the trash bin or, literally, the next big selling novel amongst ginormous stacks of manuscripts of wannabe authors.

Sophie simply skims the unrequested manuscripts, almost tossing them aside without a fair read-through. Francine, on the other hand, reads every word of every manuscript, even if she knows before the end of the first chapter that the novelist will get a “Thanks, but no thanks” form letter. Francine states that every author deserves to have their manuscript read by an agency…especially since each author may have spent the better part of a decade writing it.

Folks, speaking as someone who has sent in manuscripts to agencies (and then gotten back that “Thanks, but no thanks” letter), I really hope there are people like Francine in the world. Those who see the hard work others have done, recognize their sacrifices and, whether their product is good or not, give it the respect such a sacrifice deserves.

While I chose to self publish for a variety of reasons, I really hope that at some anonymous agency, there was a Francine giving my words the respect of a read-through.

To whom can you be Francine? Is there someone who wants your ear, but doesn’t have much of a chance of being heard? Are there people who have sacrificed great things and just need a bit of your recognition?

The Francines of the world don’t promise life-changing things…they’re just happy to give respect and recognition where it is due. Who knew I’d learn something valueable from a fictional character?

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Be Respectful

As I said in yesterday's post, we just returned from a week in the mountains for Thanksgiving vacation. My in laws, all around, were in attendance all week, with the exceptions of my stepson, Jordan, and my nephew, Christopher.

Earlier in the week, Christopher was still in Miami for a varsity basketball game. His dad, Steve, called Christopher while I was standing nearby. After all the usual Q & A of, "How's it going?" "How'd your game go last night?", that sorta stuff, Steve left Christopher with one parting piece of advice:

"Be respectful to the Smiths." The Smiths are family friends who Christopher stayed with while his mom and dad were in the mountains.

Be respectful. That's a lot less subjective than, "Be good!" Don't you think?

Even if respect is a bit subjective, it has an air of the Golden Rule to it. Simply act in a way that tells others they are acknowledged and appreciated.

Do you always act respctful? I wish I could say YES...but I don't. And with Steve's bit of food for thought, maybe that'll start to take the place of, "Be good."

Friday, November 28, 2008

Well, Did You Complain On Wednesday?

Apologies for the lack of posts this Thanksgiving week. We spent this week with my extended family in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Helen, Georgia. Had a fabulous time and, with mountain air, tons of food and neverendding conversations with family, blogging was put on the backburner.

And while I wasn't blogging, I've been wearing my "no complaints" bracelet now for the last several weeks. Wednesday was officially a No Complaint holiday-exactly what Rev. Will Bowen (author of "A Complaint Free World" is pushing for! And did I succeed in not complaining? Nope! But I tried! And it was a really fabulous day...probably partially because I was practicing my not complaining as dogmatically as I could.

And after this past week's Engel's Ensights, did you strap on a rubber band and try to live complaint free? I know several of my friends tried and I congratulate them!

More posts (with pics) coming tomorrow! Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Rationality Takes The Reins!

Well, it had to happen sooner or later! The most feared organization finally pushed me to the limit…not the FBI, nor the CIA, not even Homeland Security…but our Home Owners Association.

Yesterday, all the home owners in our community received a letter through the mail. Basically, it said that due to a funding shortage, everyone’s home owners fees would double in 2009. Not up 20%, not 50%...but up 100%

And that’s not the worst of it! Every single home owner must pay approximately $700 in an emergency assessment. The amount must be paid in full within, oh, like three weeks, or the HOA will put an 18% interest penalty to each home AND a lien against the house.

So, last night, we got to meet all our neighbors! Everyone was up in arms about this incredibly high emergency assessment, not to mention this is coming right about the time property taxes are due AND Christmas is just a few weeks away. Ridiculous. And everyone knows it.

Grass roots efforts take place and everyone gathered together to determine what we can do about it. I begrudgingly went to this meeting, ready to have to listen to a bunch of crazies shoot off their mouths in anger. When emotions run high, people end up checking their brains at the door. But ya know? It wasn’t like that…

I was so pleased that any time someone started off on a tangent, some level-headed person would reel that person back in. When people start complaining about one thing, so often, it becomes a downward spiral. First people erupt about the high assessment, but the next thing ya know, they’re screaming about the college students partying too much, a street light that’s out, blah, blah, blah. Only once did this happen. When it did, a very controlled, rational owner stood up and said, “We need to be sure we’re keeping complaints separate. We gathered together tonight due to the assessment. We’ll have more power to negotiate the assessment if we don’t get bogged down in additional complaints.”

Ah, someone who knows how to get ‘er done! I love it!

One of my biggest pet peeves is inefficiency. A gathering of angry home owners has every possibility of having about as much efficiency as a mesh waterbed. Yet, those who understand the situation and want it corrected took the lead and, with a mission and purpose, kept things moving along.

What will be the outcome here? I don’t know for sure, but I’m very, VERY pleased to see leaders emerge. True leadership comes from an ability to step outside one’s emotions to complete the task at hand. And since some of our neighbors can do this, it makes me glad to know we’re on the right track.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

My Favorite Crab



















This past weekend, we journeyed to central Texas to see my stepdaughter, Maddison, in her school play of Alice in Wonderland. Maddi played the crab and did a fabulous, FABULOUS job! (and yes, I have the right to have a slanted opinion because she's my girl!) The Belton High School students did an awesome job with the play and, maybe even more, I got something a little more meaningful out of the play...

The play wasn't word for word "Alice", but was a little more of an avant-garde interpretation of the famous story. Just like in the Lewis Carrol version, Alice drinks a potion that makes her gigantic (Big Alice) and then a different potion that shrinks her to two feet tall (Small Alice).

Not sure about you, but if I swallowed something that made me grow in over seven foot intervals, I might be pretty hacked off! Yet, Alice just seemed puzzled. I believe her actual words were, "This just keeps getting curiouser and curiousier..."

Curious? Growing and shrinking like that? We should all look at our adversity as something to be curious about – but instead, we just usually end up getting mad. Next time I'm faced with something weird and disruptive to my life, I'm going to try to take Alice's attitude: just think of it as something curious.

And Maddison? Great job! I'm super proud of you! You're my favorite crab!

Erin Weed, Mike Domitrz and Marcus at Bacchus General Assembly!

As you might expect, I meet a whole, WHOLE lot of speakers in this biz. Two of the finest speakers (and people) I know are these two folks pictured with me; Erin Weed with Girls Fight Back: http://www.girlsfightback.com/
and Mike Domitrz with "Can I Kiss You?" http://www.canikissyou.com/

If you've had yours truly to your campus and trust my opinion, you simply cannot go wrong with either of these speakers, too! I'm honored to be in the same business with them and to call them friends!

Concordia University-Chicago

On Tuesday, Nov. 18, I was honored to present a program at Concordia University in Chicago! Student athletes and others gathered in the K.C.C. for a program to inspire students to make intelligent choices... and from all the Facebook sign ups and messages I've received, we got 'er done!

Special thanks to Kathy Gebhardt and Pete Gnan for hosting me at Concordia! It's been several years since I've worked in Chicago and it was awesome to be there with such a great group of Concordia folks!

Bacchus in Columbus!


Sorry for the lack of postings the last week or so. I've been on the road a lot and now, here's why!

Thursday, Fri. and Sat. of last week, I was exhibiting and presenting at the Bacchus Network General Assembly held in Columbus, OH. This is the third year I've attended G.A. and I'm always so excited to get to meet new friends and see past acquaintances!

This year, I was also excited to present with the PACE team from DeSales University on "Booze Busters." To the best of our knowledge, this is the first time a university has partnered with a professional speaker to present a breakout session at G.A. I want to thank the PACE team for welcoming me in with open arms and congratulations on a job well done! Special thanks to Dr. Gregg Amore and Wendy Krisak for helping facilitate everything... and for one of the funnest times I've ever had at a conference dinner!










Side note: Friday night at G.A., there was a fire in a neighboring building. A big, stinky electrical fire. This fire caused the power grid to be switched off and hence, our hotel to be without power for nearly 12 hours. And yet? Hanging out on the street corner with the DeSales PACE team was just super fun! No one I'd rather be homeless with! And thanks to the Columbus Hyatt for handling the disaster in such a professional manner-truly one of the finer examples of customer service I've ever experienced!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

A Pet's Ten Commandments

Often when I’m walking with someone who doesn’t know Carson (or me) very well, this person will try to do Carson’s job for him. They’ll tell me to step to the right or the left, that there’s a big obstacle coming up to go around, stuff like that.

This gives me the opportunity to explain how a dog’s perception works; that Carson’s doggie vision and ideas don’t tell him to start going around an obstacle until he’s right up on it. For example, if there’s a garbage can blocking the sidewalk, Carson will walk right up to the bin, make a sharp 90 degree turn to the right, another sharp 90 to the left, another to the left and then, once we’re around the obstacle, another back to the right. Think military marching formation.

Humans, on the other hand, will make a gentle arc around the obstacle with the full knowledge the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Dogs? Not so much.

As I learned at the Seeing Eye-the user must always trust the dog. “Follow your dog” became the montra. The dog has been extensively trained to do his/her job and we, mere humans, need to step in line with how the dog has been trained. That trust and bond is why this article struck me so deeply…

I was sent this article via E mail and, while it’s a tear jerker, I hope it gives some good insight from a dog’s perspective. If we humans could step into the mind of a dog, we’d be a lot better off. This article helps us do just that…



A PET'S TEN COMMANDMENTS.........

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is
likely to be painful.


2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.


3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.


4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment.
You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only
you.


5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand
your voice when speaking to me.


6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.


7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt
you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if
something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food,
I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or
weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you
can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier
for me if you are there, because I love you so.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Veterans Day...Did You Remember?

While running errands today, we stopped by our bank. We sat waiting for a few minutes, trying to figure out why it was closed. A holiday? Don’t think so. Did the bank get robbed? Highly unlikely.

Then, after thinking a bit, we realized it IS a holiday: Veterans Day. I’m simply ashamed this didn’t immediately spring to mind.

Our veterans are the whole reason I can write whatever I want on this blog (within reason, of course). Their sacrifices are what allow us to have the freedoms we have today. Vets, teachers, nurses and cops are all my heros…and this is why I’m just so ashamed I didn’t immediately link up Tues., Nov. 11, 2008 with Veterans Day.

I wish our country would place the importance of Veterans Day up there with Christmas, Thanksgiving and (believe it or not) Halloween. Wouldn’t it be great if our vets were all honored on their day, instead of it being an afterthought?

Today has now been emotionally linked in my brain. It’s going to be my goal to never again let Veterans Day pass without having thought of it the week before and (hopefully) having done something to honor our men and women who’ve served in the U.S. Armed Forces.

If you’re a vet, please know you have my gratitude and appreciation for the sacrifices you’ve made…and you have my apologies for forgetting your day and my humble promise I’ll try not to let it happen again.

DUIfoundation.org

I just learned of a great resource with whom I share a mission: www.DUIfoundation.org

From their site, DUIfoundation.org stresses the human repercussions of impaired driving; that a single mistake can have devastating affects on not only the driver, but his/her passengers and other motorists.

But we all know this stuff, right? Everyone knows impaired driving is wrong and shouldn't be done, right? Sure! We all know this...but there are still approximately 15, 000 individuals killed every year due to intoxicated driving.

www.DUIfoundation.org is yet another resource in the fight to reduce (and hopefully eliminate) this dangerous and senseless crime. From legislation to law enforcement to support groups to resources for those with substance abuse issues, DUIfoundation.org is a web site I'll be visiting frequently. I hope you will, too.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Cal State San Marcos








Thursday, Nov. 6 found me at Cal State-San Marcos to work with the students there! And what a fun group to work with! Special thanks to Julie Mattingly for being such an awesome client AND awesome person, Erika and Jenny for helping coordinate everything for my visit! Thanks also to Kathy, the health educator, at CSU-SM for helping drum up interest and for co-sponsorship for the event. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of students and I’m so glad that, even voluntary attendance got the auditorium filled!

Side note: If you’ve never been to San Marcos, leave your wing tips and cufflinks at home! San Marcos is this cool little beach town-ish place that has such a fun and laid back vibe! Was really cool to soak it up for a while!

And to Julie, Erika and Jenny… thanks for helping me haul my stuff all over campus all day…y’all can be my Sherpas any time!

Cal State Fullerton








Thanks to Nick Katz at Cal State-Fullerton for inviting me in to work with the new Greeks and athletes on Nov. 5. Still in post-election afterglow, the CSU-Fullerton program was a great time!
Special thanks to Jenny, Emma the photographer (and all around cool gal), Emel, Matt and Sarah for being such awesome hosts… not to mention hooking me up with the CA fav, In and Out.
Thanks to all CSU-Fullerton students who’ve signed up to be friends on Facebook and MySpace, too!








Tuesday, November 04, 2008

You're Never Too Old To Rock-N-Roll...or Shoot Hoops!

Ya know, it's one thing that this fella is a full time college student. I hope when I'm in my 70s, I'm still this excited about life! But to put on a pair of Nikes and hit the court when most peers are drawing Social Security? That's just too cool!

****

Grandpa's Got Game -- Ken Mink, 73, Scores in Collegiate Contest

His joints may be a little creaky -- and he may not have played competitive ball for 50 years -- but 73 year old college basketball player Ken Mins is on the scoreboard and possibly in the recordbooks.

The retiree, who is a full-time college student at Roane State Community College, came into a game last night against King College's junior varsity with about 16 minutes left in the second half. He attempted one shot in about three minutes. When Mink entered the game seven minutes later, he was fouled and made two free throws.

"I found myself on the free-throw line 52 years after my last college game," Mink said. "I said, 'Just relax and shoot it like you know how to all day long.' I just floated the shots in there. I'm in the books now. I can relax a little bit."

Mink played ball at Lees College in Jackson, KY, half a century ago but was expelled after someone soaped the basketball coach's office. He still insists he didn't do it.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Vote!

Tomorrow marks the end of this very heated (and very long) Presidential race. It’s been a one-of-a-kind race, hasn’t it?

So, tomorrow: vote. If you’re a registered voter (not a dead person, a minor or a dog), then get out and exercise your Constitutional right!

The country we now live in is so polarized, so distrustful of anyone who doesn’t wear their colors, so fixiated on personal preference instead of a candidate’s true qualities. And ya know? That doesn’t change the fact America is a democracy.

A government of the people, by the people, for the people…

I hope tomorrow has the largest voter turnout ever. I hope more Americans get out and exercise that Constitutional right than in any previous election. I hope our voter turnout rates start to mirror those of the other Democratic countries of this world (for example, European democracies think anything less than 75% is pitiful…and it is! But in America, we’re usually in the 60% range. So, who is really pathetic?)

The early voting place down the street from my home has had early voting the last week. Voters sometimes have waited in line for over three hours to be sure their ballot is cast. No matter your political affiliation, you’ve gotta smile at the excitement, fervor and commitment this race has generated!

Tomorrow? Vote. And on Wednesday? Let’s all realize that, no matter the outcome of the race, we’re all Americans. And let’s start to act like it again.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

And These Are Real!

Okay, maybe not... but it sure beats paying Dr. 90210 for a figure I only needed for a night!

For all those who requested – your wish is my command! Nothing beats a German soprano opera singer with chest hair AND giant cans!

















And with Marvelyne dressed as the cutest Hell's Angel biker girl ever, we made quite a pair! Had a blast at the Bahia Shrine Sheiks Halloween party, too!
And if Marvelyne's picture is out of focus or off center? Cut me some slack – I'm a blind guy with a camera!