Here we are, Mother’s Day! I’m one of the very, VERY fortunate ones who grew up with a mom who not only loved me unconditionally, but one who also supported any positive directions my life would take. I think my mom has always had the opinion about her kids, “I want whatever is best for my kids.”
A lot of people say that, right? Yet, a lot of parents hinder their kids by saying they want what’s best for the kid, but they end up trying to get what’s best for the parent. Like, not allowing the kid to have a social life so the kid will stay at home and keep the parent company. Or a parent who doesn’t want the kid to go away to college because the parent will miss the kid too much. To me, this type of immaturity in raising kids actually ends up harming the child…and I’m so, SO glad I never had to deal with that.
I was never made to feel guilty because my dreams and desires took me away from my parents home. I’ve never had to feel angst and shame because I missed being at Mom’s beckon call on her birthday or mother’s day. Life just doesn’t always allow for me to be everywhere I WANT to be-but I’ve got a Mom who truly wants me to live my life. And that, unfortunately, means sometimes she doesn’t get to see her kids on mother’s day. Like, today.
The other thing I’ve found about my mom is that she truly appreciates just the opportunity of being a mom. She has two adult, healthy, happy successful kids who she doesn’t have to spend extra time worrying about. Of course, she’s a mom, so she’ll worry like any mother, but not undually so.
This morning, I looked at MarkDewalle.com, the blog ran by my favorite nurse, Barb Dewalle, who many of you’ve read about in “After This…” Barb’s 24 year old son, Mark, passed away due to a rare form of cancer in 2007. Can any of us imagine being a mom on mother’s day when we also have a child who is deceased? That’s gotta be really, really tough….
Plus, I’ve just accepted a new position on the state advisory board for Mothers Against Drunk Driving-Florida. What is the whole reason MADD exists? Moms who’ve had the unnecessary loss of a child. Again, what must mother’s day be like for these moms?
My mom nearly lost me back in ’93 in that horrible crash. Do we tend to appreciate things more when they’re almost snatched away? You betcha…and I think that’s something my mom has never forgotten. And from that, I benefit…and I hope she benefits, too, by seeing a well-adjusted adult child living the life he wants to lead.
So this Mother’s Day 2009, I hope you’ll spare a thought and some good energy for moms who’ve lost children…and I hope you’ll take some inspiration from my mom who truly wants what is best for her kids, too.